What do you do when Self-Love does not seem attainable via consciousness.

[Vynce]

Before we start I know this question is quite redundant, because obviously MORE consciousness solves the problem. 

But what do you do when reality seems completely "un-inviting" to be conscious about it. 

Let's say, you are meditative conscious and everything seems cozy and loving. But suddenly the exact thing you have been conscious of feels ugly, disturbing, confusing, cold ect. 

I am thinking of a good friend, who I absolutely love when I think about him. But as soon as we spend some time together, he seems dumb, boring and repetitive in his actions and wordings. 

And obviously he is me, so I try to love him through more consciousness. But this is way trickier than loving the car i'm driving, the clouds above me or anything similar. 

Should I tell him? Should I look him in the face for an hour till my love comes back? Should I avoid him and focus and "easier love"? 

[WelcometoReality]

2 hours ago, Vynce said:

But what do you do when reality seems completely "un-inviting" to be conscious about it. 

Let's say, you are meditative conscious and everything seems cozy and loving. But suddenly the exact thing you have been conscious of feels ugly, disturbing, confusing, cold ect. 

Inquire into ugly, disturbing, confusing, cold. What make it feel this way?

2 hours ago, Vynce said:

I am thinking of a good friend, who I absolutely love when I think about him. But as soon as we spend some time together, he seems dumb, boring and repetitive in his actions and wordings. 

These are judging thoughts which arise. No need to do anything about them but see them for what they are.

2 hours ago, Vynce said:

Should I tell him? Should I look him in the face for an hour till my love comes back? Should I avoid him and focus and "easier love"? 

No need to tell him because the thought are not true. If these keep coming up then you might need to inquire deeper into the thoughts and feelings that are the basis of the judgements.

If you're new to inquiry I recommend checking out this worksheet:

https://thework.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/jyn_en_mod_6feb2019_r4_form1.pdf

[Vynce]

1 hour ago, WelcometoReality said:

If you're new to inquiry I recommend checking out this worksheet:

https://thework.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/jyn_en_mod_6feb2019_r4_form1.pdf

Thanks! I actually downloaded the app "the work" from Byron Katie. The sensations and feeling are so subtle and irrational, so its hard to write them down. I'll give it a try anyways  

 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Vynce said:

And obviously he is me, so I try to love him through more consciousness. But this is way trickier than loving the car i'm driving, the clouds above me or anything similar.

Of course it is harder to love a human than a car. The human has their own selfish agenda going on while a car just sits there.

You can still practice love on your friend, but also, don't be so foolish in your love that you feel you must hang around people who are not aligned with you. Love does not mean you must stomach the wrong people in your life. Sounds like you just need a new, better friend. Select your friends carefully so they align with you.

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, Vynce said:

Thanks! I actually downloaded the app "the work" from Byron Katie. The sensations and feeling are so subtle and irrational, so its hard to write them down. I'll give it a try anyways  

 

Oh there's an app. nice I didn't know that. ?

Yeah it can be hard in the beginning but will get easier the more you do it. And it's quite freeing in the end.

[Vynce]

5 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

Yeah it can be hard in the beginning but will get easier the more you do it. And it's quite freeing in the end.

Indeed. I've completed the PDF document, you sent me and I have this novel feeling of "a new healthy perspective". Quite astonishing how mental knots can be untied so easily 

[WelcometoReality]

9 hours ago, Vynce said:

Indeed. I've completed the PDF document, you sent me and I have this novel feeling of "a new healthy perspective". Quite astonishing how mental knots can be untied so easily 

It is astonishing and really changes ones life when you understand how to do it. ?

 

[RickyFitts]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You can still practice love on your friend, but also, don't be so foolish in your love that you feel you must hang around people who are not aligned with you. Love does not mean you must stomach the wrong people in your life. Sounds like you just need a new, better friend. Select your friends carefully so they align with you.

Yes, this is a very important point. If you're finding yourself feeling very judgmental or resentful around certain people, that might simply be a sign that you shouldn't be spending time in their company because they're too low-consciousness and their values don't align with yours. Best to not spend time around people who drag you down, though it can be unavoidable at times which is when you do need to practice mindfulness.