Deep connections

[Preety_India]

Hmm.. 

[Preety_India]

You need to work on how to invite deep connections into your life. 

 

[Preety_India]

My key problem is that I don't have true people in my life. 

 

I was talking about the concept of the true heart. 

 

I was watching the video how to not get scammed and duped. 

Some pointers

 

I have to look back over my life and see what exactly went wrong. 

Yes I was scammed multiple times in the name of love and friendship. People who would always use me for some reason. 

It started in school and then continued as a pattern in my life. 

I had to let people go or they dumped me because they didn't need me anymore. Or I had to break up with them because I realized that I was just a pawn in their life. 

By now I have had almost 5 boyfriends. Back to back and I am not happy. 

The first few relationships have been terrible. 

Socializing is not the Answer although helps in the process so I must socialize 

 

It's also improving social and emotional IQ and being able to scan people thoroughly. 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Let's see where and how I went wrong in all of these scenarios. 

Relationships and connections are a core area of my life and my major source wound. Often people with bpd can have tumultuous relationships. So I get that. 

A)  I trust people way too much. I gave away my authority many times to others 

B) I fell in love with my first boyfriend but never cared to see if he really cared about me or not. 

C)  I was very vulnerable with people and this attracted people who wanted to prey on me, those who sensed weaknesses in me, like sharks come to sardines. 

D)  I'm a magnet for narcissists. I have always been. Characteristically, I'm an INFJT. I read somewhere that INFJ-T particularly attract narcissists. 

 

E)  I fell in love with my second boyfriend but once again he never had to do anything to earn my trust. Nor did he allow me room to open up and be vulnerable. I was simply too needy and I allowed him his way. I never screened him or tested him in any way. 

F) I was extremely non judgemental.. I never judged these men. I simply allowed them to my world. 

G) there were several red flags in each of these relationships. I ignored them because I took it too lightly. This was because of my deep trust in these guys. I never actually thought that they could hurt me. 

H)  I was naive 

 

 

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I sometimes feel like I will never get what I really want and this is a true sense of connection. 

[Preety_India]

I opened a topic in this regard. 

 

[Preety_India]

Because of my introversion, I never really had an intimate connection with anyone. I never had such an experience. 

 

[Preety_India]

I think one of the problems is that I was vulnerable in a general kinda way but never vulnerable in a personal kind of way. 

 

First of all I was never given such an opportunity by any of my past boyfriends. 

They never allowed me to open up 

 

They were always dominating the narrative commanding me what to do. I never had a say in those relationships. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Let's see where and how I went wrong in all of these scenarios. 

Relationships and connections are a core area of my life and my major source wound. Often people with bpd can have tumultuous relationships. So I get that. 

A)  I trust people way too much. I gave away my authority many times to others 

B) I fell in love with my first boyfriend but never cared to see if he really cared about me or not. 

C)  I was very vulnerable with people and this attracted people who wanted to prey on me, those who sensed weaknesses in me, like sharks come to sardines. 

D)  I'm a magnet for narcissists. I have always been. Characteristically, I'm an INFJT. I read somewhere that INFJ-T particularly attract narcissists. 

 

E)  I fell in love with my second boyfriend but once again he never had to do anything to earn my trust. Nor did he allow me room to open up and be vulnerable. I was simply too needy and I allowed him his way. I never screened him or tested him in any way. 

F) I was extremely non judgemental.. I never judged these men. I simply allowed them to my world. 

G) there were several red flags in each of these relationships. I ignored them because I took it too lightly. This was because of my deep trust in these guys. I never actually thought that they could hurt me. 

H)   I was naive 

I)   I was dumb and stupid. 

J)  I was being too innocent almost to my detriment. 

K)  I never screened anyone or used any kind of screening tests 

L)  not allowing me intimacy should have been the first red flag but there was no bulb in my brain. 

M)  I also had a tendency to ignore if any of them said or did something bad to me. 

For example my ex boyfriend Joseph gave me death threats. I didn't take it seriously. My trust in him was very deep to the point that I actually could not imagine him harming me. 

 

 

N) 

O) 

 

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Preety_India