How to start a conversation with a guy and how to develop intimacy with him?

[Preety_India]

I feel like whenever I talk to a guy, I don't know what to talk about or how to start a conversation. 

I suck at it because of my introverted nature. I struggle to talk. 

I struggle with intimacy too. Like I cannot have an intimate conversation with a guy. 

Suggestions? 

 

[Someone here]

Conversations with men tend to be more effective when there’s a clear purpose – addressing a problem that needs solving or making a point. Many men tend to fall into the ‘fixer’ mindset when communicating, preferring to tackle problems directly rather than discussing at length.

If you’re talking about a sensitive topic, don’t make it into a big conversation – this can be overwhelming and make the bloke shy away.

Tip:  Keep it casual and low intensity. It may take a few short talks, rather than one epic conversation, to get him to open up.

If I may ask ..are you even dating a specific guy at the time? 

[Preety_India]

@Someone here not at the moment. But I struggled with this in the past. 

Like I couldn't talk to the guys I was with. I mostly stayed silent. They were the talkative ones. 

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

not at the moment

I think you should first figure out a way to attract a partner first before you worry about what should you talk to him .

Once you do that you can proceed into learning communication skills  .

Here's few suggestions:

Ask open-ended questions.

Open-ended questions require a longer answer than just "yes" or "no." Try to tweak your questions so he’s more motivated to talk  out something in-depth, which will get the conversation going. Pretend to ask yourself the question first—if you can answer the question within a word or 2, it probably won’t keep your conversation going for very long.

For instance, "What are your plans for the weekend?" is a better question than "Do you have anything exciting planned over the weekend?"

If you’re feeling adventurous, ask a fun question, like "What’s the weirdest corner of the internet you’ve stumbled across?" or "If you had a budget of 1 million dollars for a party, how would you spend it?"

Find and plan interesting and juicy topics that guys care about and talk with him about it .

[Preety_India]

@Someone here attracting a partner is not a problem because I attract them quick enough. 

But the communication is always a problem since I'm unable to establish intimacy with them. 

 

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Someone here attracting a partner is not a problem because I attract them quick enough. 

But the communication is always a problem since I'm unable to establish intimacy with them. 

 

I see.

Look for ways to connect your conversation to something you’re really knowledgeable or familiar with. 

Good luck ? 

[lizz_luna]

I think being honest always works really good to build intimacy. Being honest and vulnerable, In your case for example saying things like " I am nervous right now, I feel vulnerable", etc. This way you can also see if he can be intimate as well, and hold the space for you to be vulnerable. It will help him to open up to be intimate as well. Its about feeling safe enough to be real.

[Preety_India]

@lizz_luna thank you. 

 

[Someone here]

35 minutes ago, lizz_luna said:

I think being honest always works really good to build intimacy. Being honest and vulnerable, In your case for example saying things like " I am nervous right now, I feel vulnerable", etc. This way you can also see if he can be intimate as well, and hold the space for you to be vulnerable. It will help him to open up to be intimate as well. Its about feeling safe enough to be real.

I agree. 

Also..we guys like it when a girl compliment us .

Compliments help guide your conversation through any awkward silence. Instead of pressuring yourself to think of something fun and creative, put the focus on him. A kind comment or compliment can help reinvigorate your conversation

 

You might say, "I was really impressed how you finished that math test so quickly!" or, "I thought no one could pull off wearing a football jersey, but you really proved me wrong."

Or anything else from this type.

[Gianna]

Curiosity is always a good tool for exploring things– even things to say. Think about what intrigues you about the person and ask them about it. But I feel like anything that is personal, direct, and/or private in a flirty tone would work fine for starting a conversation with a guy  heheh. Guys are easy and simple. And at that point, they are usually good at taking over/taking the lead.

As far as maintaining intimacy in conversation, I usually just stick around talking about my desires for that person. It's going to take a certain level of vulnerability to be intimate with someone. What is your relationship like with being vulnerable toward men? Also, keep in mind that the guy (because of the flow of masculine energy) should want to take the lead so that you are not having too much pressure. I see you as a feminine girl; and if so, you are going to need a masculine guy. ?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkqJqlmsI7E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjpb_RyXj1I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p33iirYYnrI

 

[Leo Gura]

If ever you run out of shit to say, talk about yourself. This is the secret of extroverts. And talk about trivial things. Don't wait around for "important" or "meaningful" topics. You can talk about something as dumb as how you ran out of toilet paper.

Don't hold back talking about your feelings, passions, desires, dreams, and aspirations. You don't need to be a millionaire in order to talk about how one day you will be a millionaire and spend that money traveling the world. And it makes no difference if what you talk about will ever pan out in real life. It's just a conversation topic.

[Focus Shift]

@Preety_India When we are stuck in our own head we can suffer from being distracted. However, when we are immersed in the environment around us it allows us to notice things we typically wouldn't have. Perhaps there is a color you like about their outfit, a book they are reading, nature or animals doing something really spontaneous. The best way I've found is to have curiosity about the other person, and to lean into them. 

[BuddhistLover]

yeah, just talk about yourself, your passions, hopes dreams, obsessions, etc. He might just get entertained and inspired by you.