Would like some dating advise for this specific situation

[voxun]

Hey there all of you wonderful people!

I have a situation in which I could use some advice.

I'm not a dating expert but I have had my share of dates. I haven't been on dates for a while because I  didn't feel like it and needed some time for myself. In my last date she invited me to her appartment we had sex and stayed together for 6 month. In the end we where not a good match so we moved on.

Now I'm in a situation I have never been in before. I don't use facebook very often and I certainly never send friend requests to people I don't know. For some reason I did send a friend request to a girl about 6 months ago. When I say for some reason well who am I kidding I actually find her very attractive and I also liked the stuff she was posting. She seemed more spiritualy minded.

She was a friend of a girl I actually went on a date with in the past so that is why she got suggested.

I usually try to go on dates fast but in this case I seem to have a harder time and here's why.

At some point she made a post and I made a funny comment. She liked it and it ended in sending me a pm.

We started chatting regularly and we seemed to connect. I invited her for coffee but she skillfully avoided this question.

At some point she called me her friend, which is not my intention so I withdrew my attention to a minimum where I would just mainly reply if she send me something.

Then she starts send me pictures of her smiling. She also makes facebook posts with pictures of her and only shared them with me. I don't know if she is aware that I can actually see that I am the only one she is sharing these posts with.

Anyway she told me she would love to go on a trip with me and I also envited her for a walk which she seemed to accept but still vague on the actual timing.

I know this girl told me many times she is very old school. She is not religious and was born here in central Europe but here parents do not come from here and are both muslim.

I think I will be able to get a date with this girl in the end but would appreciate any insights from you guys/girls. Do you think her background might play a part here?

Do you think I just need to be patient or be more specific with suggesting an actuall time and place for a date. I guess I'm still carefull because of the fact she avoided my invitation to have a coffee before. We have been in contact for 2 months now.

I appreciate any advice given.

[puporing]

That sounds confusing as hell... maybe you should just be direct and ask if she wants to go on a date. It can be painful to let this shit drag out without you knowing if she just sees you as a friend or something more. Maybe talk to more women too while you're at it. 

[voxun]

30 minutes ago, puporing said:

That sounds confusing as hell... maybe you should just be direct and ask if she wants to go on a date. It can be painful to let this shit drag out without you knowing if she just sees you as a friend or something more. Maybe talk to more women too while you're at it. 

Tnx I don't don't like to talk to to many at once because I am quite busy these days and don't have time for many dates. But you're right Ill give her a clear time and date and she can take it or leave it. If she doesn't take it I can have more time for other options.

[voxun]

23 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'd suggest that you need clear communication here. She is giving you mixed signals. 

Best is to tell her outrightly whatever you feel and be done with it. 

Deep down I feel this kind of shit never works in the end. Just a hunch. 

 

 

I like her but I don't really know what I feel since I just would like to meet in person. I'll just give her another straight invitation and see if she'll do it this time. If she avoids it I'll start minding my own businesses.

[NoSelfSelf]

Shes using you for attention think about it if she asked you for a date would you say hmm mybe we should talk more on here ? if shes attractive as you say  and shes moving the strings(making you to wait) she will put you in a place of a loser she can have her way with...tell her this its nice talking with you and we had some funny exchanges text me when you are willing to grab some drinks with me (have a nice day)..then never text her again in your life...

If she says something else just dont respond...

[voxun]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Shes using you for attention think about it if she asked you for a date would you say hmm mybe we should talk more on here ? if shes attractive as you say  and shes moving the strings(making you to wait) she will put you in a place of a loser she can have her way with...tell her this its nice talking with you and we had some funny exchanges text me when you are willing to grab some drinks with me (have a nice day)..then never text her again in your life...

If she says something else just dont respond...

Good advice we both don't drink so will replace drinks with a coffee.

[voxun]

I would like to note aswell that this girl hasn't been on a date or been in a relashionship for a very long time yet she is very attractive. So its kindoff confusing to me as I do get the impression she wants to but it feels like there a bit of a psychological hurdle for her. Just to give a bit more context.

 

Edited April 20, 2022 by voxun

[puporing]

6 hours ago, voxun said:

I would like to note aswell that this girl hasn't been on a date or been in a relashionship for a very long time yet she is very attractive. So its kindoff confusing to me as I do get the impression she wants to but it feels like there a bit of a psychological hurdle for her. Just to give a bit more context.

 

People don't always have the best self-awareness sometimes. Someone can unconsciously hit on you but deny this fact when you "confront them". Whatever is driving that kind of dynamic is out of our hands/control. Hope you can get a more straight answer and not be left hanging.