Too Many Habits Or Being A Whiny Bitch?

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

Hey all! I'm currently meditating for 1 hour, 5 minute affirmations, 10 of visualizations, 15 of questioning limiting beliefs, cold showers in the morning and journaling in evening, plus reading a book a week. 

When I do all of this in my day plus gym 4 times a week and college with the homework, I feel I don't have enough time to relax and be with friends.. The question is: am I overwhelming my self or am I being a little bitch? 

[eskwire]

@Juan Cruz Giusto Firstly, that's AWESOME. Way to get it done. 

First few habits take up 1.5 hours. Long but hardly sucking up your whole life. 

Cold shower is the same time as hot shower no? I haven't done that technique. 

Journaling and reading at night...I would consider that (as well as meditation) your time to relax.

My advice would be...don't go off how it feels, but actually track where your time is going for a week.

You may find that you're doing your school work in an inefficient way and it's taking much longer than it should.

Or perhaps you have high expectations about how much time should be spent with friends.

Question your beliefs about friends. I am starting to wonder if once a week for a couple hours isn't enough. Being social can be a big, unnecessary. distraction. 

Godspeed.

[Alicja_]

@Juan Cruz Giusto I think that when we introduce new habits to our lives , at some point, we start having doubts whether we exaggerate it or not. I sometimes have these thoughts about my progress. Doing lots of the things I hadn't been used to do for most of my past life, occassionally they feel odd. After a while, I may have quiet thoughts slipping in saying "Just relax, have a beer, do something easy and entertaining" or "Quit it completely, can't you see that you're the only weirdo doing this? It's not gonna really help you so stop fooling yourself. Blah, blah".

I don't know how old your new habits are but perhaps it may take more time to have them sink into your subconscious.  I used to introduce one habit at a time in order not to get overwhelemed by them, and now I have quite a few of them which stick. But this does not change the fact that, just like you I sometimes doubt myself. And just like you I minimized time for socializing to minimum, and became quite strict about my routines.

Perhaps, one of the solutions could be to develop a more relaxed approach towards your habits. Don't treat them like homework, rather, think of them as a game, a journey of self-discovery.  ; ) Not something you have to do at all costs. It's a choice of  one of many possible scenarios.

Plus, you probably still have some time for your friends, but now, because of your  higher priorities, you do focus on the inner work more. It has costs you know. Social life suffers. Your inner life flourishes.  At least, I hope it's true.

Edited January 27, 2017 by Alicja_

[Arman]

Take more time to deeply relax.

[Life Coach]

While relaxation is a need, being with friends most likely isn't. Think of the minimalist lifestyle episode from Leo. Is mindlessly wasting your time with friends and distracting yourself really worth it?

[Christian]

@Juan Cruz Giusto

If you are finding it difficult to make time with your friends because of all these habits, I think creating a solid morning ritual might be the solution.

I did the math and according to what you wrote, you spend approximately 2 hours per day completens your habits (correct me if I'm wrong). That is quite time consuming especially if you complete many of the daily rituals later in the day.

But despite the fact that you probably cannot go to the gym in the morning, I think many of the other habits you mention are best to do early in the day as part of a morning ritual. That way, when the evening comes you will have time to hang out with your friends whilst staying disciplined at the same time. 

 

[sweater]

Even thinking that your not doing enough can be a form of "homeostasis" kicking in.

[alyra]

On 1/26/2017 at 9:33 PM, Juan Cruz Giusto said:

overwhelming my self

this is the truth of the universe. there is no way to not be overwhelmed, there are infinite things to do and even if we had infinite time then it still wouldn't be enough to do everything. 

 

as we learn we will replace old ~fallacies with new ~wisdoms. there will always be three levels we can see at a time - that which is too easy, that where we are, and that which is too difficult. what those things are will change - but those three levels will always be there. 

 

if you feel overwhelmed and feel that it's hindering you, do not be afraid to remove some of the burden. negotiate with yourself - ease off the reigns here, kick on the spur there, leave the rest as it is. growth happens with practice, so even if you are overwhelmed or underwhelmed there will be something you are practicing - focus on that and allow the other extra things - the tests or trials - come and go if they do not catch onto your net. 

[faith]

What you're doing is amazing, and I am glad you're so passionate about spirituality, but you don't want to overwhelm yourself. It may be that you want to take it all in as fast as you can and learn as much as you can, and even though that's a great spirit to have, just remember that spirituality is something you carry for life. You don't need to jam pack your day in order to get the most out of it. You could even do 5 minutes of meditation everyday, and that would be plenty. This is because it's a life long process, and you won't miss out on the good stuff you'll learn. 

You have to come to a realization right now that it's not a goal to attain. It's the only thing that is not a goal. It's just a light we carry forever. It's very counterintuitive like that since all we know is how to accomplish things. 

Remember that meditation is not something you do when you sit down for an hour, you're doing it right now. Everything you do is a meditation. And you will benefit from socializing with friends if you bring this meditation and mindfulness with you. 

One last thing I will suggest is to slow yourself down. Eat twice as slow, talk twice as slow, walk twice as slow, etc.... Then you'll see that doing 5 things a day in that manner is so MUCH more satisfying than doing 20 things a day, and thinking that you're advancing.

Good luck brother, I wish you a great path!

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

Thanks guys!!! I realized I was just a little bitch  It is just time until you get used to it. Just have to resist the first week or so.