I have to heal slowly( even a psychopath needs love)

[Preety_India]

One thing I discovered recently is that music really helps to rewire the brain to feel better. 

It does have a positive effect. 

 

Also recording insights on bpd. 

And keeping a track on emotions and maintaining streaks helps too. 

 

 

Edited April 28, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One characteristic of bpd is paranoia. 

It can really fuck up the anxiety meter. 

Healing modalities. 

Behavior modulation of "Supportive partner" around bpd. 

I'll need a highly intelligent partner to handle me. 

Essentially a person who  is smart enough to handle me. I actually found that person so that's one great step 

 

 

Edited April 28, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm learning so much emotional maturity with the man of my life. I can't believe it. I'm growing way faster than I thought I would. He is pushing me to grow. This is the final chapter of my growth 

 

He is unconsciously pushing me to grow up, really hard. 

 

[Preety_India]

Behavior modulation of "Supportive partner" around bpd. 

1.They need to be comforting 

 

2. The partner should communicate extensively with the bpd person. 

 

3. Always try to calm the bpd person. Because their heightened sense of insecurity and fear/anxiety/paranoia. 

Mentally ill people differ vastly in their symptoms from person to person. The common range of symptoms are more or less the same. 

 

4 when talking to a bpd, make 

 

 

 

5..bpd is extremely sneaky. 

 

6... Bpd is psychopathic 

 

7.. Reactivity and defensiveness 

 

8 bpd has extremely high neediness. 

 

9  bpd is low impulse control 

 

 

10 interrogation technique of communication 

 

11. Bpd persons  love physical affection. The best way to make a bpd person feel safe and secure is to give them relentless and abundant amounts of physical affection. In this regard they will have a high drive for sex and even consider sex as an important component of their relationship. A bpd person wants SAFETY OVER TRUST. They want to feel safe no matter what. Of course they want trust. Maybe they don't fully trust their partner yet they want safety. They will secretly spy on their partner 

 

12..

13

 

14

.

 

 

10

Edited April 28, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Partner behavior with bpd. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

On 3/21/2022 at 1:21 AM, Preety_India said:

I mean I get it that I become angry. 

But sometimes people have a role to play in this. 

I don't get angry at people who are authentic and helpful. Who aren't trying to play smartass. 

Who aren't trying to be condescending. 

For some reason, my intellect is so psychic that I can easily detect the tone a person uses with me. 

I can easily tell if they are trying to overpower me or trying to find harmony with me. 

I don't like ego games. So I kinda feel it when someone is trying to be patronizing or condescending. 

This is not like anger. It's only me saying sssssshhhh. Don't. 

I'm usually not pissy at people who are truly putting the effort to decode my psyche who are genuine when they are trying to help.. 

My mind is like a radar. I don't like it. But constantly being brought up in survival mode has made my mind to work like a scanning radar, anything that doesn't feel genuine is immediately thrown out.. 

People think that I get angry if they criticize me, no.... I don't...i simply don't like invalid criticism. I find it condescending and unnecessary.. 

I'm not open to critical attitude. It makes me feel punished. Because I was raised by cold critical people. 

That was my source of trauma. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have begun to appreciate evil for some reason. It has a different vibe to it. For me everything is artistic and aesthetic. 

I see why people play games 

 

I have begun to love my disorder my bpd 

Bpd is my lover. 

Yea my crazy behavior. 

I like that now

. 

 

I think everything that the mind does, does for a good reason. 

 

Edited April 29, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I was into Satanism.. 

 

Now Satan makes sense. I need a Satan in my life. 

I like Graveyard, dead people, feeding on their energy. 

I like all that now. I like the morbid side of life. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm going to try satan meditation. 

 

[Preety_India]

I had some violent thoughts towards other people and I tried to control myself because I got anxious. 

 

[Preety_India]

Following are my observations of my bpd behavior 

 

 

Borderline happens due to bonding, attachment, intimacy and pathological issues. Their main problem revolves around  trust, attachment and intimacy. 

Who can keep a borderline happy? 

 

- An extremely manipulative smart person 

- a total narcissist

- a very sociopathic person 

- a very psychopathic person 

- an equally crazy psycho obsessed person 

- a very possessive person/needy person 

- cult leader type

- very intelligent intuitive person 

 

 

That's why borderlines will mostly choose bad boys. And cult leaders as Partner 

A good normal healthy individual will become a nightmare to a borderline. They can't cope with such people. They will feel odd or deserted 

 

 

What does a borderline want in a relationship 

 

- High trust 

- high safety 

- high intimacy 

- high protection 

- high loyalty 

- openness 

- high empathy and understanding 

 

Borderlines are very sneaky and secretive, they have many many onion layers. You have to peel off their layers to get into their inside world. Or they block you 

 

 

They are a mystery to people. They hide from people. 

They don't get intimate quickly 

 

They have deep fear of judgement 

 

 

They are very sneaky. You have to expose them to win their trust. 

 

 

Borderlines are pathological liars. Compulsive liars. Stems from fear of judgement. They act juvenile. 

 

Deal with a borderline the way you would deal with a child who steals candy, without threatening the child, but also winning their trust. 

You can't be friends with borderline.. Very difficult. Because they don't allow you into their world 

Borderlines don't wish to be dictated by their partners, they want the partner to objectively explain them why something needs to be done instead of being commanded or ordered. The last thing they want is confusion, explaining them with proper evidence and facts reduces their inner confusion over their doubts and conflicts. Dismissing them and not explaining to them can make them suspicious and confused causing them to feel unsafe around such a partner. Explain to them the way you would explain to a child and dismantle their confusion and they will calm down. 

You can be their friend, Only if they trust you  otherwise you are out

They can be pathological liars and manipulative. Borderline psychopathy

Basically a borderline is like a frightened child. You gotta win their trust

They look at the world with a very black and white way, no nuance 

They either love you or hate you 

 

Everything for a borderline is absolute. 

 

 

They love with passion. They hate with passion

 

They are very avoidant 

 

You are either their friend or their enemy 

 

They feel attacked even for the slightest things. They are super fragile emotionally 

 

They suffer distress if you come close to them especially if you are a stranger. They will hiss at you and tell you to leave them alone 

They will act very hissy and feral if they don't trust you. Or if you failed their trust 

They don't want a Stranger to comment in their journal. They absolutely hate intrusion. They don't like anyone (who is not intimate) to show personal interest in them. 

 

They don't want any personal attachment with strangers. 

 

Their avoidance can be mistaken for narcissism easily 

 

They do a lot of self harm and hostile to any kind of help or treatment. 

They are resistant to therapy. 

Best to leave them alone if you are not intimate with them 

They get into abusive relationships in fact they have a long list of abusive ex partners because they do a lot of people pleasing to their partners, zero boundaries causes partners to abuse them. 

They generally attract narcissists and psychopaths due to attachment issues (normal people get bugged by their Hyper attachment but psychopaths enjoy it) they find it difficult to leave narcissists. Borderline are commonly in relationships with narcissists because of unique dynamic between the two. 

They worship the person they regard highly to the point of blindness. They might even die for them. Defend them even if this prized person is wrong. But they might even kill this person (if they are wronged by this person) 

Borderline can be selfless, devoted Empathetic but fly into rage under distress and even plan murder if they are wronged. In essence they don't have a structure to their view of the world. It's either this or that. They are extremes. They live dangerously. They can have an addictive personality. They can be broody and dark. They have extremely low impulse control and go out of control under distress. Borderline psychopathy. They hard to calm down once in rage. They get psychopathic when threatened and mistreated. They do better with supportive partners who win their trust and intimacy without judgement 

 

Although they themselves are extremely sneaky in their communication, they can't tolerate a cold partner, that will drive them crazy. They want to be challenged if they are having a short fuse, they want a partner to argue with them and then diffuse their confusion and stress 

Borderlines crave attention from their partner constantly and get very needy to the point of annoyance. Being ignored by their partner or being left for long without attention can make them panicky, nervous, insecure and Abandonment anxiety can set in. 

This happens due to lifelong anxiety arising from childhood neglect from a dismissive narcissistic/bipolar parent. The last thing they want is a partner who reminds them of the neglect their parents caused them 

Being neglected and ignored can exacerbate their anxiety, loneliness and trauma. 

Borderline want physical affection like pets. They like being petted every once a while.

 

Affection and attention is important to them. The fear of neglect, rejection and abandonment anxiety is quite debilitating to them. They are very needy, generally more than others. Their neediness causes them to keep pursuing relationships. Their neediness can sometimes be exhausting to the partner. 

Leaving a borderline person in the middle of an argument can be fatal. They will lose trust in the partner immediately, they will fly into rage and storm off the place and never return back. The relationship is over right there. Instead talking to the borderline, arguing with them and calming them down helps them. They want their partner to talk talk talk and talk and zero dismissal. They want their claims and rants and whining to be addressed properly and challenged. Because its a matter of trust and they are looking for closure during their explosive arguments 

Borderlines might even appreciate their partner being mad at them during an argument because this will signal them that their partner is truly emotionally invested. They might appreciate a partner who is critical of them, because it means the partner is involved and paying attention and not being dismissive. Also borderlines like the shit out of them exposed, they see it as heroic and appreciate guts needed to challenge them. They won't appreciate a cowardly passive partner. They want stimulation from their partner whether it's argument or affection. Love or war, both need to be stimulating. Being defeated and owned by their partner during an argument makes them surprisingly happy and elated. 

Borderlines are very clever, sneaky, secretive and evasive. The partner will need to interrogate and almost grill them (without making them feel rejected/nervous) to get to the bottom of the truth. 

 

Borderlines greatest fear is rejection, Abandonment and not being taken seriously enough. And lack of intimacy. Their core values are safety and trust and they feel threatened easily. And go into panic which manifests into manipulative behaviors to escape being detected or rejected. 

Acting coy, avoidant or giving them silent treatment will make them lose their shit. 

Once they lose trust, they will act avoidant and never talk to you. They are extremely loyal but expect the same from the partner. In fact they go to great lengths to test their partner's commitment and loyalty, even spying. 

Borderlines are Hyper possessive in a relationship. They want to obtain and keep even the littlest things that belong to their partner 

Cheating is the worst crime in their mind and the punishment will also be huge. 

A borderline Wil continue to talk to an ex only to see them suffer in pain. Since the ex hurt them, the borderline would expect the ex to suffer forever as punishment 

A borderline will secretly enjoy the pain of their ex. 

Language that they generally use is like "what the hell is your problem? Leave me the fuck alone? Answer me? What the fuck?" they will swear a lot and get  directly confrontational and spazz out. 

Their anger is very intimidating. They explode like a volcano. 

They have explosive anger, volcanic anger or borderline rage where they will go into panic and are impossible to calm down. Their rage and whining can last upto hours and days. They don't forget if someone did them wrong  even after 10 years. 

They will secretly spy on the partner and the partner will not realize it. They are very sneaky with their spying. They spy out of lack of trust 

 

A borderline's communication is very sneaky. It's like an onion. You have to peel off layers. They will never say anything directly and they will make contradictory confusing statements. You have to read between the lines because they use cryptic language. They are mysterious in their communication. You have to learn to understand them. You have to intuitively know their feelings. They expect you to understand them without having to tell you anything. They are hard to open up. In fact they almost never open up. They Keep acting sneaky. Fear of judgment causes this. They won't share everything. You have to be smart enough to discern and catch their feelings and thoughts. They only open up fully  when they reach deepest intimacy with their partner. That takes time and patience from the partner 

They will never directly tell you how they feel. They will use metaphorical language and expect you to pick up the clue. 

 

Borderline will only hurt their partner only when they are significantly distressed. As long as the partner hasn't hurt them, there is nothing to worry. 

Borderline don't go around hurting random people they have no karma with. 

Borderline will only hurt those who wronged them especially in a personal relationship, they are cool to  deal with as long as they are not fucked over. They can be super nice and sweet as long as the partner is on their right side. Being on their wrong side is an invitation to collapse of the relationship. They have internal unprocessed rage. Borderlines have powerful strong and intense emotions and such emotions can't be taken lightly. 

 

They will only talk to a person who finally got intimate with them 

 

They want extremely few people who are deep, intimate and super  close to them. They will cut out the rest 

They will usually be sweet and popular and people won't realize they have anger burning inside them. 

Borderline will attract attention because of their unique behaviors 

 

A borderline Ioves over attachment and obsession. If a partner is obsessed with them, the borderline will enjoy this obsession and might even appreciate being stalked by their partner. It will make them feel wanted and belonged. Because they want high attachment after all. 

The last thing a borderline wants is a cold uninterested detached unemotional partner. That will drive them bonkers. 

 

A borderline can create intense confusion in a partner although they themselves don't want any confusion at all. 

 

They sense inauthenticity from a mile. If you act fake around them, they will immediately dismiss you 

Borderlines are prone to suicide due to loneliness and rejection and the fear of not being understood. 

 

They are territorial. Don't go near them. Don't act personal with them if you don't really know them. They will get defensive and throw you out. 

 

 

If you ever approach a borderline at least try to be sweet, or they immediately cast you away 

 

They have very low trust and they perceive everyone as an enemy. They will hiss at everyone like a wild animal. 

 

Borderlines don't mind being criticized by those that they consider to be friends or are intimate with, they don't even mind being offended as long as this person is their friend. This is because they feel carefree around someone they trust so such criticism does not create a threatening feeling in them. They can even laugh it off. 

 

They look at everyone suspiciously. They feel threat because of childhood trauma 

 

You have to win their trust. Or they move away

 

 

They hold deep deep grudge. Don't fuck with them. If they feel wronged, then they can kill you out of revenge 

 

 

You can't fuck with a borderline. There is borderline rage that can lead to murder if they become desperate 

 

 

Don't trigger them. Don't get too personal. Don't get too close(if you are a stranger) . Don't be fake. Don't fuck with their emotions. Don't rub into their wounds. Give them privacy. Don't attack or criticize them (they see criticism as threat/attack). They are hypersensitive. Don't try to help them because they Don't want help 

 

They are aggressive and introverted, child like and very Hyper protective of their own space. 

They are self destructive and usually depressed, bad mood, low mood. 

 

They don't like people talking about them. Any personal touch triggers them. They have intimacy issues 

If you come around them, they will look suspiciously at you 

Borderline can experience insecurities and jealousy in relationships but their sneaky behavior Will not show it. They will be calm and sweet from outside but raging from inside. 

They will mostly tell you to leave them alone and if you don't leave them alone they will lose their shit.

If a borderline commits a crime, they will mostly use a knife. Because they are highly emotional while committing a crime, there is a strong sense of purpose or reason and they want to hurt maximum. 

 

If they experience rage, they might plan to kill the person who is responsible for their rage. They will become psychopathic. 

 

 

Best example of borderline is Jodi Arias who killed her boyfriend. Best example of borderline rage 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 29, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have to heal from this and one day I'll. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Why are manipulative people attracted to borderlines? 

This is like the biggest question in my mind. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Who Attracts Manipulative People?

Emotional manipulators use gaslighting, guilt, and other dishonest tactics to exploit their partner's weaknesses and maintain control. What traits make us attract them?

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Sometimes I'm sick of invalidation. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I feel betrayed by this forum. Fuck this 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So bpd is basically a psycho and a cluster B disorder. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm the only person on the forum who has BPD so far because it's that rare 

You won't find it even if you went looking for it. 

Bpd people are rare and mostly don't mingle with people and stay to themselves. 

I'll explain in depth most characteristics of bpd as a bpd sufferer for years. 

Bpd is a disease you live with. 

It's not a brain chemistry problem like bipolar. Bpd is like PTSD. You develop it and then you live with it. 

Although symptoms are manageable. 

[Preety_India]

I'll explain bpd using a plant character. 

Or cartoons. 

Most information online on bpd is completely false. 

Bpd is basically a particular kind of mind. You have to understand this mind.