Strategies for dealing with ego-backlash?

[Bob Seeker]

When I get backlash I usually get all bummed out, lose will, and binge on porn, food and YouTube.

anyone have an approach they take to deal with it/mitigate it?

[Leo Palhano]

When I feel i'm getting backlash I usually take my time to stop, breathe and note the full spectrum of sensations that compose those moments in a very vipassana-esque style. Just notice all the sensations in that present moment when you feel your ego struggling for dominance. Notice that all of them are impermanent, don't satisfy and aren't you or belong to you. In a few minutes the urges should pass and you can mindfully resume what you truly intended to do all along.

[Bob Seeker]

@Leo Palhano good stuff. Got to give this a try today

[Preety_India]

@Bob Seeker try to be honest with your ego and embrace acceptance. 

 

[SamC]

1 hour ago, Bob Seeker said:

@Leo Palhano good stuff. Got to give this a try today

Have a plan for when it happens and get amused by it while at the same time allowing yourself some space. I also like the laugh about it cause it's quite comical and funny. Here is this thing not wanting to be something, that it already is. That's hilarious. Try to not take it seriously.

My go to plan is usally.

1: Go for a walk

2: meditate/ do wim hoff

3: Listen to Leo's ego backlash video.

Have some things that you now make you feel better but also don't be afraid of sitting in your misery. I highly reccomend number 3 though, try making that your egobacklash ritual. This of course implies you notice it, which isn't always a given though.

 

[Bob Seeker]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

. This of course implies you notice it, which isn't always a given though.

 

Yeah. I didn’t notice this one. I think it’s just like I start making little excuses and then it snowballs.

gonna take that as one sign from now on.

excuses/rationalizations is probably a trusty sign

Edited April 15, 2022 by Bob Seeker

[kag101]

in my experience, ego backlash happens when i try to make too many changes too fast and too rigidly.

is that your case as well?

 

[Eph75]

@Bob Seeker

What causes you to "bum out"? 

There's always an event of sorts. 

The rest is just coping mechanisms, noise. 

Resilience is needed. To build great resilience we need an understanding of what lies beneath. 

It's hard to stand fast in a storm, being torn and tossed about. And it takes great effort. At some point we get exhausted, and break. 

When in good flow, we are resilient and won't allow ourselves to be "bummed out" by what lies underneath the surface. 

But bad flow will come, it's a matter of when, not if, and then we need positive coping strategies to "bounce back" from being dragged down by whatever bagage has made itself known.

We're only as resilient as circumstance allow us to be. 

If we carry old bagage in our backpack, it will make itself known at those times. It's better to empty the bagage bit by bit until there's nothing left.

At that point, what used to be known as storms are nought but us waving in the wind, with a cool breeze brushing through our hair.

 

Edited April 16, 2022 by Eph75

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZR9Ni-ZZ-Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj31DBK5S6Y

 

[Zedman]

I would argue it is impossible to deal with it. When ego is in control it will not allow for any action to be taken against it. Or is it self limiting belief I hold? Lets say yes, but how do I remove it if ego is in control?

Thanks for trying but any advice is useless because of closed loop nature of this problem.

From my experience you just wait and pray until ego shoots itself in the foot and breaks the loop.