How to overcome confusion?

[Someone here]

I'm Not exactly sure what I Want to Be doing with my Life . Life is So complex and Diverse .There is Hundreds if Not thousands of Different religions and Worldviews and Ideologies. 

Even the Basic practical stuff...like ..Should I Go to This university or That one? Should I Work in that job Or this one ? Should I Get married at This age Or that age ? And Many other examples .

Sometime I Feel lost and Overwhelmed by the Infinite possibilities and Endless choices given to Me in Life that I End up Just doing nothing ,Playing video games or Whatever just  Distracting myself with activities that give you Instant dopamine hit Like smoking, Masturbation etc .  

Just few Days ago I decided to Work out At home to Build a Strong body ..And I'm Already slacking off And being lazy and Skipping my Workout .

Basically I Want to Know how To Be 100% certain Of The Direction that I Want to Direct my Life in And how to Stay true to That vision and To be Disciplined and Faithful until the End and end What I Have started. .In all Domains. 

Any advice? 

 

[JonasVE12]

I can recommend to just sit down with yourself one evening, away from your computer or phone. Take pen and paper and relax a bit. Do some breathing. Become really present and now write a list in order of importance. Write down 20 things that you want to accomplish/experience in your life. Now identify the top 5 from those 20 things, and decide to focus on those things for the coming 10 years and ignore the other 15. Getting clarity about what you want is key. It gives you an idea about what you don't want. The reason for writing it on paper is to get it out from your head into the physical. Now in your day-to-day life, you have more awareness of whether or not you are in alignment with your goals. If you're not working on your goals and wasting time, being lazy, you'll know, because you brought it out your head to paper in front of you. If you can't specify your goals well, you can be more general. Your goal could even be to make your goals more specific and you can work on that for some time with full commitment. But most know what they want. Even if it is just vaguely.

Now the next step is developing your masculinity. Masculinity is all about stepping into tension, becoming pro-active with tension and focussing your mind on making stuff happen within the tension you are committing to. When you make a decision, for example to get a nice strong body, you are putting yourself in the tension through making that decision. It's a long term commitment that requires effort, discipline and focus. Once you get closer and closer to the goal, all your stories will come up for why you can not do it. Your emotional resistance is going to come up. 

Now it's all about moving from reactivity to proactivity. You choose inside the tension what you want. You have a workout planned. You gonna do it or not? It's your decision. 

Once you have your 5 goals identified, you start to make weekly commitments to progress into the direction of your goal. The goals I am personally working on are becoming a psychiatrist, becoming national champion in no-gi grappling, as well as getting my benchpress to 120kg and squat to 180kg. 3 goals. Everything I do is to progress in those things. Of course there is a time to let go and flow with other things but that comes after. 

The key to effortlessly achieve all your goals is to make it fun and to enjoy it. And this comes as a result of building a subconscious habit of succes which is the same as self-trust. You start first with these micro goals. daily meditation, daily walk of 20 minutes, daily brushing teeth, daily cold shower, daily healthy green juice, good sleeping schedule, etc. And when you can be consistent with these, you build self-trust as well as a sense of accomplishment and pride. Which you use to go after bigger goals. I switched goals all the time because I was running from tension. How to shift that is to identify long term what you want, and just go for it. And to use micro goals to generate momentum of self-trust. Think about it, how could you ever go out into the world to REALLY make impactful change if you can't even commit to daily meditation, cold showers, and working out? How could you ever really transform your shames and fears if you cant do simple stuff?

The tension is what grows you. You have to learn to love it. Let's say the day approaches you have your workout planned, and you really don't want to go. All these thoughts are creeping up on you and trying to convince you to stay home. But you know this is your goal. Now you are right in the tension. What will you decide? Learning to transmute resistance to courage is the most valuable thing you can do in your life. And it compounds. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. And now you can achieve any goal because you learn to be proactive in tension. If you have fears, shame or apathy in other areas, you use this transmutation process there too. This all process of transmutation becomes really fun after a while. Once you get out of apathy, fear and shame, the resistance to goals is converted to joy and acceptance. 

Refraining from quick dopamine fixes is important as well. Learn to generate dopamine from within through loving to get after your goals and being consistent.  

 

Edited April 14, 2022 by JonasVE12

[Someone here]

19 minutes ago, JonasVE12 said:

I can recommend to just sit down with yourself one evening, away from your computer or phone. Take pen and paper and relax a bit. Do some breathing. Become really present and now write a list in order of importance. Write down 20 things that you want to accomplish/experience in your life. Now identify the top 5 from those 20 things, and decide to focus on those things for the coming 10 years and ignore the other 15. Getting clarity about what you want is key. It gives you an idea about what you don't want. The reason for writing it on paper is to get it out from your head into the physical. Now in your day-to-day life, you have more awareness of whether or not you are in alignment with your goals. If you're not working on your goals and wasting time, being lazy, you'll know, because you brought it out your head to paper in front of you. If you can't specify your goals well, you can be more general. Your goal could even be to make your goals more specific and you can work on that for some time with full commitment. But most know what they want. Even if it is just vaguely.

Now the next step is developing your masculinity. Masculinity is all about stepping into tension, becoming pro-active with tension and focussing your mind on making stuff happen within the tension you are committing to. When you make a decision, for example to get a nice strong body, you are putting yourself in the tension through making that decision. It's a long term commitment that requires effort, discipline and focus. Once you get closer and closer to the goal, all your stories will come up for why you can not do it. Your emotional resistance is going to come up. 

Now it's all about moving from reactivity to proactivity. You choose inside the tension what you want. You have a workout planned. You gonna do it or not? It's your decision. 

Once you have your 5 goals identified, you start to make weekly commitments to progress into the direction of your goal. The goals I am personally working on are becoming a psychiatrist, becoming national champion in no-gi grappling, as well as getting my benchpress to 120kg and squat to 180kg. 3 goals. Everything I do is to progress in those things. Of course there is a time to let go and flow with other things but that comes after. 

The key to effortlessly achieve all your goals is to make it fun and to enjoy it. And this comes as a result of building a subconscious habit of succes which is the same as self-trust. You start first with these micro goals. daily meditation, daily walk of 20 minutes, daily brushing teeth, daily cold shower, daily healthy green juice, good sleeping schedule, etc. And when you can be consistent with these, you build self-trust as well as a sense of accomplishment and pride. Which you use to go after bigger goals. I switched goals all the time because I was running from tension. How to shift that is to identify long term what you want, and just go for it. And to use micro goals to generate momentum of self-trust. Think about it, how could you ever go out into the world to REALLY make impactful change if you can't even commit to daily meditation, cold showers, and working out? How could you ever really transform your shames and fears if you cant do simple stuff?

The tension is what grows you. You have to learn to love it. Let's say the day approaches you have your workout planned, and you really don't want to go. All these thoughts are creeping up on you and trying to convince you to stay home. But you know this is your goal. Now you are right in the tension. What will you decide? Learning to transmute resistance to courage is the most valuable thing you can do in your life. And it compounds. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. And now you can achieve any goal because you learn to be proactive in tension. If you have fears, shame or apathy in other areas, you use this transmutation process there too. This all process of transmutation becomes really fun after a while. Once you get out of apathy, fear and shame, the resistance to goals is converted to joy and acceptance. 

Refraining from quick dopamine fixes is important as well. Learn to generate dopamine from within through loving to get after your goals and being consistent.  

 

 Thank you so much sir. This is such a high quality advice.  Truly appreciated ? 

[JonasVE12]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 Thank you so much sir. This is such a high quality advice.  Truly appreciated ? 

You doing those bicep curls yet?? huh? 

Good luck man.

[Someone here]

14 minutes ago, JonasVE12 said:

You doing those bicep curls yet?? huh? 

Good luck man.

Yes how did you know lol ?

Thanks again. 

BTW your comment on my other thread in the dating section was also amazing. 

[Esilda]

@Someone here to me it feels like you’re not connected to your body? How do you feel? ???⛅️
 

Calmness. 

Kindness to you.

 

 

Edited April 15, 2022 by Esilda

[Rokazulu]

You may, in fact, have to spin your wheels just to realize that you would rather be doing something else instead.
The greater and more stagnant the confusion, the greater and more profound the realization.
Make decisions with this in mind.



 

[Someone here]

9 hours ago, Esilda said:

 to me it feels like you’re not connected to your body? How do you feel?

That's true .I'm neglecting my body and indulging in bad habits like smoking ,masturbation, video games etc. 

But I hope to change that .

9 hours ago, Esilda said:

Calmness. 

Kindness to you.

 

 

Edited 9 hours ago by Esilda

Thank you ? 

[AndylizedAAY]

https://youtu.be/lRipeQ_lcN8

[Someone here]

9 hours ago, Rokazulu said:

The greater and more stagnant the confusion, the greater and more profound the realization.
Make decisions with this in mind.

Would you expand on that a little bit please? 

[Someone here]

48 minutes ago, AndylizedAAY said:

https://youtu.be/lRipeQ_lcN8

Thanks. 

[Rokazulu]

12 minutes ago, Someone here said:

"The greater and more stagnant the confusion, the greater and more profound the realization."
Would you expand on that a little bit please? 

Uncertainty is exploration. Certainty is the end of exploration.
Certainty is also exploration. Uncertainty is also the end of exploration.

Understand?

[gettoefl]

i live a simple life, sleep 8 hours, do what i have to do for me for 8 hours 

then dip into the world for 8 hours

this way, i can never complain to someone that things are out of sync since i already achieved what i needed for the day

[Someone here]

@gettoefl minimalist mentality is the key ?

[gettoefl]

12 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@gettoefl minimalist mentality is the key ?

it is priorities, i do me then i do thee

everything is in my hands, i just need to follow through ... then to be in the world is just fun and games

[Grateful Dead]

In terms of overcoming the general confusion, only self-realization will do. Until then, just focus on one thing like your life purpose or overcoming addiction, and then move on.

It also helps to have a solid mindfulness practice that you do every day, preferably as soon as you wake up.

[JonasVE12]

17 hours ago, Someone here said:

Yes how did you know lol ?

Thanks again. 

BTW your comment on my other thread in the dating section was also amazing. 

You're welcome and thanks  

[Preety_India]

Confusion can sometimes be good. You can work through it