How To Deal With A Huge Amount Of Repressed Emotions ?

[nick96]

Hi.

I am 20 years old. I am working on myself a lot. 

Right now I realize that for basically all my life I have suppressed a very big quantity of emotions. I have strong psychosomatic pain.

The emotion I think I suppressed the most is anger .  

I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with the problem and how to get rid of the emotions and some info about them:

Are expressing , experiencing and letting go of an emotion different things ? if so what is the difference?

What happens in the mind when an emotion is not expressed (what is the relationship between the repression of emotions and the mind) ? How is the self image affected? How are thought patterns affected ?  What changes in the self image if previously repressed emotions are expressed, experienced and let go ?

What is the most effective way to get in touch with and be able to express, experience and let go of previously repressed emotions ?

Emotions felt towards people must necessarily be expressed in front of them in order for the emotions to go away ?

 

Thanks for your help.

 

[Guest Annetta]

I'm working through this so I don't have personal advice that will be helpful until I can say for sure I made it through, but I've got a bunch of videos in my liked list on this subject that might be of help:
 

 

 

Humor, laughing at your "flaws", be kind to yourself. <3 <3  You can do it!!!

[Arman]

7 hours ago, nick96 said:

Hi. I am 20 years old. I am working on myself a lot. Right now I realize that for basically all my life I have suppressed a very big quantity of emotions. I have strong psychosomatic pain. The emotion I think I suppressed the most is anger .  I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with the problem and how to get rid of the emotions and some info about them:

Thanks for your help.

You are on the right path and asking the right questions. Pardon my longer answers, I want to answer thoroughly. 

Quote

Are expressing , experiencing and letting go of an emotion different things ? if so what is the difference?

Emotions felt towards people must necessarily be expressed in front of them in order for the emotions to go away ?

Expressing is different to experiencing and letting go. Choosing to experience and letting go are effective and productive, where as expressing is usually ineffective. 

The reason these energetic charges build up is because of our unwillingness to actually experience them. Usually these emotional charges first imprint when you are a kid through some kind of environmental stimuli. We experience various traumas and naturally we resist the negative emotions and suppress them because we don't know what else to do with the energy. Resisting can be done by physically contracting the body, distracting ourselves, projecting, or any other number of behaviors. Because we are unwilling to be with the emotions and the energies, then they are never processed or integrated. They stagnate and stop our development - not to mention they don't feel very good.

Expressing our emotions usually at best just sedates the experience or allows just enough pressure release for you not to feel it anymore, but it doesn't really address the issue or allow it to release. Not to mention it can be readily used as an excuse to be hurtful to people, or act poorly and feel justified. The best way to resolve emotional charges is to be with them unconditionally as they arise. Accept and allow the emotions and they will unravel because awareness is placed on them and the energy is able to process. Awareness is like a magic wand - when you point it at things you love, they expand, and when you point it on things that are uncomfortable, they dissolve. We have an endless number of unconscious behaviors that will do whatever it takes to make you focus on anything other than the emotion. For example, arguing, eating, checking your phone, gossiping, doing drugs, getting caught up in mind projections, etc. 

Quote

What happens in the mind when an emotion is not expressed (what is the relationship between the repression of emotions and the mind) ? How is the self image affected? How are thought patterns affected ?

Firstly, active life energy is spent constantly suppressing all these emotions. It takes more energy to suppress them than it does to willingly experience them. This uses up tremendous reserves and makes us kind of weak, miserly and ineffective. Your suppressed emotions are greatly defining your reality and supporting many of your belief systems. You may think your belief systems and self image are a reflection of an objective reality, but you don't see the lengths at which reality is being filtered through your belief systems which are supported by irrational emotional charges. For example someone might think that life is a very dangerous place that is always taking advantage of them - and they will experience that and constantly align with data that reinforced that belief system because the emotion of fear has been unresolved and is still colouring the reality subconsciously. People build entire belief systems, paradigms, groups, political movements, and relationships built upon emotional charges. Many behaviors that supposedly purport to overcome negativity actually serve to perpetuate the emotional charges. That is why victimhood can't be overcome through focusing on the vibration of victimhood. It will only reinforce the energy. Only uncondtional presence and acceptance of what is can resolve victimhood. There are tens of thousands of thought, judgements and beliefs that are being fueled by unintegrated emotions. Lots of repetitive thought forms and areas in life that are stagnant are usually the result of emotional charges. By releasing the emotions at the root, automatically many limiting beliefs and reality filters are dissolved.  Reality then shifts. 

Quote

What changes in the self image if previously repressed emotions are expressed, experienced and let go ?

As emotions are released, life energy increases and you feel better in your body. The natural human tendency after releasing resistance is to gravitate towards more loving and creative behavior. Blockages in your experience resolve. One also becomes much more effective in the world because as you release resistance, your baseline experience goes up and you align with experienced that are manifested by your conscious intent instead of your subconscious suppressed emotions. 

Quote

What is the most effective way to get in touch with and be able to express, experience and let go of previously repressed emotions ?

It is not necessary to go digging for repressed emotions. It is not as if when we repress an emotion that we are only going to feel it's effect when it has flared into your awareness - rather they are always present and effecting your reality. You need look no further than the most immediate now, as there is always some kind of emotional charge present. These emotions are going to be naturally triggered all day long in your relationships, your work, your spirituailty, your day to day errands, your mind, etc. There is a constant flow of these suppressed energies emerging as various thoughts, discomforts, struggles, fatigue, low energy, physical ailments, etc.'

Choose to start being more conscious of how you feel and start to put awareness into emotions that arise. Notice that the reflexive response (automative subconscious behaviors) is to sedate, suppress or experience the emotion. Instead of choosing to do these things, when they come up, you acknowledge them, accept them, allow them to be and keep your gentle awareness on the experience, knowing the energies of the emotion are releasing. This is where meditation comes in handy because it trains maintaining that kind of awareness. By doing this day to day as emotions and experiences arise, you'll follow the bread crumb trail to deeper charges, naturally gain insight and start to become more in touch with suppressed emotions. 

But it's not necessarily useful to go on a mission to uncover deep emotions and supressed things. This simply reinforces the belief that "I will be happy when x y and z happens." - "I will be happy when I release these negative emotions"

Rather discover for yourself that being present with emotions and releasing them not only has long term benefit, but has remarkable immediate benefits and uses as well. It radically transforms experiences and you start to become an active transmuter of energy and someone who can use all situations as opportunities to grow, instead of being a victim to the emotions and energies of life. 

Edited January 26, 2017 by Arman

[Awomanaware]

@nick96 Firstly, congrats of being aware all this, that's a big step! In my experience, the best way is through meditation - welcoming all of your emotions. No matter what kind of emotion is arising through meditation, don't ignore it. Let it stay. Just be aware of it, and love it. It is just seeking your attention. Anger is there because you have been ignoring it for a long time. When you give it the attention that it needs, it will dissolve. Takes time. My view on anger is that - we may think we are angry on someone, but actually we are angry on ourselves, or we live in regret, and cannot deal with that negative emotions so we project the anger on others. Meditation, love and patience  and not taking life too seriously

[faith]

If you scream into a pillow, it may have a short-term relief. But if you want to create a healthy relationship to anger FOREVER, you should meditate, and not force it. Eventually, it will come to face you, and when it does, then you accept, forgive, and let go - that way you will create a compassionate and wise relationship to this feeling. 

Our most deep rooted demons may hunt us for years, but every time they come up, we will have to accept, forgive, and let go. We may repeat this for a long time, but the benefits you get after and during this practice are WAY, WAY more gratifying than screaming into a pillow.

Good luck brother

[ajasatya]

hello, @nick96

i'd recommend a book called the power of now written by eckhart tolle and a meditation routine.

perseverance in practice and study leads to self mastery. these are the best words i can offer.

[Loreena]

The repressed emotions need to come out so they stop poisoning you and your life.  An example of how repressed stuff still affects you: Imagine that you are allergic to something. So you push the "something" under the bed so you can't see it. Well, will that help any at all? Of course not -- you'll still be allergic, and even if you can't see the "something", your allergies will still be stimulated.

The same goes with repressed emotions. Just because you have stuffed them "under the bed", doesn't mean they don't affect you. They do, and the solution to your problems can be identified even though you've hidden or buried or repressed the cause.

[nick96]

On 26/1/2017 at 10:35 AM, Arman said:

You are on the right path and asking the right questions. Pardon my longer answers, I want to answer thoroughly. 

Expressing is different to experiencing and letting go. Choosing to experience and letting go are effective and productive, where as expressing is usually ineffective. 

The reason these energetic charges build up is because of our unwillingness to actually experience them. Usually these emotional charges first imprint when you are a kid through some kind of environmental stimuli. We experience various traumas and naturally we resist the negative emotions and suppress them because we don't know what else to do with the energy. Resisting can be done by physically contracting the body, distracting ourselves, projecting, or any other number of behaviors. Because we are unwilling to be with the emotions and the energies, then they are never processed or integrated. They stagnate and stop our development - not to mention they don't feel very good.

Expressing our emotions usually at best just sedates the experience or allows just enough pressure release for you not to feel it anymore, but it doesn't really address the issue or allow it to release. Not to mention it can be readily used as an excuse to be hurtful to people, or act poorly and feel justified. The best way to resolve emotional charges is to be with them unconditionally as they arise. Accept and allow the emotions and they will unravel because awareness is placed on them and the energy is able to process. Awareness is like a magic wand - when you point it at things you love, they expand, and when you point it on things that are uncomfortable, they dissolve. We have an endless number of unconscious behaviors that will do whatever it takes to make you focus on anything other than the emotion. For example, arguing, eating, checking your phone, gossiping, doing drugs, getting caught up in mind projections, etc. 

Firstly, active life energy is spent constantly suppressing all these emotions. It takes more energy to suppress them than it does to willingly experience them. This uses up tremendous reserves and makes us kind of weak, miserly and ineffective. Your suppressed emotions are greatly defining your reality and supporting many of your belief systems. You may think your belief systems and self image are a reflection of an objective reality, but you don't see the lengths at which reality is being filtered through your belief systems which are supported by irrational emotional charges. For example someone might think that life is a very dangerous place that is always taking advantage of them - and they will experience that and constantly align with data that reinforced that belief system because the emotion of fear has been unresolved and is still colouring the reality subconsciously. People build entire belief systems, paradigms, groups, political movements, and relationships built upon emotional charges. Many behaviors that supposedly purport to overcome negativity actually serve to perpetuate the emotional charges. That is why victimhood can't be overcome through focusing on the vibration of victimhood. It will only reinforce the energy. Only uncondtional presence and acceptance of what is can resolve victimhood. There are tens of thousands of thought, judgements and beliefs that are being fueled by unintegrated emotions. Lots of repetitive thought forms and areas in life that are stagnant are usually the result of emotional charges. By releasing the emotions at the root, automatically many limiting beliefs and reality filters are dissolved.  Reality then shifts. 

As emotions are released, life energy increases and you feel better in your body. The natural human tendency after releasing resistance is to gravitate towards more loving and creative behavior. Blockages in your experience resolve. One also becomes much more effective in the world because as you release resistance, your baseline experience goes up and you align with experienced that are manifested by your conscious intent instead of your subconscious suppressed emotions. 

It is not necessary to go digging for repressed emotions. It is not as if when we repress an emotion that we are only going to feel it's effect when it has flared into your awareness - rather they are always present and effecting your reality. You need look no further than the most immediate now, as there is always some kind of emotional charge present. These emotions are going to be naturally triggered all day long in your relationships, your work, your spirituailty, your day to day errands, your mind, etc. There is a constant flow of these suppressed energies emerging as various thoughts, discomforts, struggles, fatigue, low energy, physical ailments, etc.'

Choose to start being more conscious of how you feel and start to put awareness into emotions that arise. Notice that the reflexive response (automative subconscious behaviors) is to sedate, suppress or experience the emotion. Instead of choosing to do these things, when they come up, you acknowledge them, accept them, allow them to be and keep your gentle awareness on the experience, knowing the energies of the emotion are releasing. This is where meditation comes in handy because it trains maintaining that kind of awareness. By doing this day to day as emotions and experiences arise, you'll follow the bread crumb trail to deeper charges, naturally gain insight and start to become more in touch with suppressed emotions. 

But it's not necessarily useful to go on a mission to uncover deep emotions and supressed things. This simply reinforces the belief that "I will be happy when x y and z happens." - "I will be happy when I release these negative emotions"

Rather discover for yourself that being present with emotions and releasing them not only has long term benefit, but has remarkable immediate benefits and uses as well. It radically transforms experiences and you start to become an active transmuter of energy and someone who can use all situations as opportunities to grow, instead of being a victim to the emotions and energies of life. 

 

On 26/1/2017 at 3:28 PM, ajasatya said:

hello, @nick96

i'd recommend a book called the power of now written by eckhart tolle and a meditation routine.

perseverance in practice and study leads to self mastery. these are the best words i can offer.

 

I have been meditating almost every day since when you wrote these posts. I read the book "The Power Of Now". Through meditation with body awareness I had some intense body reactions. After some time meditating I got constantly distracted by thoughts about wanting something to happen in my body and the need to be in control.  Two weeks ago I decided to attend a 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat. On the 5th day I had a huge emotional reaction (almost 3 hours of huge grief) and realised fundamental things about myself and about the root my neurosis . On the evening of the 6th day I had another strong reaction and the meditation teacher said that Vipassana was too strong for me and made me leave the course. The following days I stayed with some people connected to the curse who told me to distract myself and not to meditate. I think that was a very wrong thing. I distracted myself for about a week , until now. Anyway, I made huge fundamental realisations about myself and I understand the power of meditation.

Now I find myself with even more psychosomatic pain than before, my situation is crtical.

I am sure that I still have huge emotions inside and that Anapana/Vipassana meditations work perfectly for expressing them.

I also know that alone I definetly don't have the power of will to meditate so efficiently to reach the point of expressing them.

Do you have any advice ?

Does anyone know about meditation retreats in Europe similar to Vipassana retreats where I can express freely emotions ?

[TJM1959]

Just because we are all human...the only way out is through.

 

[ajasatya]

@nick96 vipassana is too intense for beginners. what you need is consistency. search for a zen sangha where you live and practice with them every week. that's A LOT better than going to random vipassana retreats.

[h inandout]

I have anger issues too.  Seriously.

You know what I realized today, again? The reason I don't have a job is because I was programmed to be an overachiever.  I did incredibly well in school, but when it came time for me to get a job, not only did I think I wasn't good enough or deserving, but this belief was so pervasive, that even when I tried to overcome my fears on job applications and in interviews, every answer I gave was always in the light of "I really am trying so so hard, please just give me a chance, I can change!"  I imagine from an outsider's perpective this would sound like it was coming from some horrible person who needed to repent for some serious crime.  Even when I have had jobs, I haven't been able to hold them down for more then a couple months at a time because I throw myself in so wholly, that any criticism (especially repetative criticism) seems so painful and uncalled for.  Perhaps any non-overachiever would let it slide off their back, or even just think that "oh maybe I should respond to the criticism because I actually haven't been doing a good job." And here I am getting overwhelmed by fucking produce jobs bevause I'm doing too good of a job.  The law of attraction fucking sucks.  It doesn't matter how much I psyche myself up to function in the real world, I just attract bullying and rejection like a magnet.  The sad part is, if I didn't FEEL like shit all the time, I probably would be able to do all the inner child work, and convince an employer that I need them to support me and not attack me.  It's so hard to not feel like shit all the time because I already live in a world that has grown to mirror my inner beliefs of being a failure.  So, we must make a resolution of this; here goes world!  I'm not playing this bullshit game anymore!  I am only going to engage with people who love and nourish me and encourage my creative solutions.  Even if it means I am homeless for some time.  I am proud to be taking this step.  I don't think it has to be this way always, but when I disconnect from this system and do for myself what I know I am capable of, I will be the one leading others out of their turmoil.  I will do all I can to use self-inquiry to detach myself from this pain as I slowly and peacefully begin to rebuild.  I am beautiful just as I am.  No joke, and there is no reason for me to feel obligated to defend this.  Anyone who wants to call me a bad person is JUST MAKING IT UP.

Edited April 4, 2017 by MissMiki

[h inandout]

You know my problem?  I have a HUGE ammount of repressed joy, peace and happiness.

[h inandout]

On 1/25/2017 at 6:47 PM, nick96 said:

Are expressing , experiencing and letting go of an emotion different things ? 

I remember watching Fight Club when I was 19 and being so confused why someone might want to go pretend to have cancer just so they can cry.  I do remember thinking that movie was really beautiful though.  I think I kinda get it more now.  It's like needing to feel your own poetry.  Maybe watch that movie?

Try NLP/guided meditation/hypnosis.  Be creative with it.  Try sometimes when you are alert, sometimes when you're sleepy.  Try anger meditations or a mediation from say positive meditation magazine (on youtube).  Try talking out your anger and finding something good in it with your friends.  The LP course has NLP towards the end too.

[nick96]

I just returned from a Holotropic Breathwork workshop.

I have had an incredible release of emotions, especially anger and deep grief. I have increased a lot my awareness on the traumas that I experienced when I was a child. I discovered that I could not feel a wide reange of emotions for so many years, I was completely cut out from them.

Great part of my self image was built as a consequence of repressing very big grief when I was very small. I experienced a lot of this emotion but I still have a lot inside.

Now I feel incredible energy movement inside of myself and I feel very disoriented in my mind.

After experienceing the emotions, when I looked myself in the mirror I felt a horrible sensation, like dying ,as if I did hot recognize myself.

I am going through a fundamental part of my life and I am understanding fundamental things about myself.

I also had a very fast out of the body experience for the first time in my life during the Breathwork. During the breathwork I reached quickly the same state of consciousness that I reached after a lot of hours of meditation at the Vipassana retreat.

Now I have also contacts of psychotherapists dealing with Transpersonal psychology and I think that I can have great support from them, also with the use of other techniques.

I will anyway continue everyday with my meditation routine, even though now I immediately feel big movement inside of me when meditating.

Any other advice would be great

[nick96]

@ajasatya @Arman @Leo Gura @Nahm

I am in the middle of spiritual emergency. 

For the last four months I have had incredible quantitaties of emotional releases ( around 300 hours of grief ) and big shifts in my visual perceptions of reality . I had one experience of nonduality and various deep experiences of great appreciation for reality.My view on myself , life and others has changed radically.

My ego is dying. 

But I still have a lot inside .Emotions are coming out automatically, I don't even need to meditate .My body is literally vomiting out tons of shit.

I need a place that fully supports me. Last month I spent three weeks in a zen Buddhist monastery and it helped me a lot. The problem was that I made too much noise in releasing the emotions and the monks were disturbed. 

Now I want a way to release FAST and COMFORTABLY the remaining emotions ( I think I have about 100 hours left based on how I feel my body) .

I could do Holotropic breathwork a lot of times but there is no such place in Europe where I can do it.

I read psychedelics like psilocybin can help to force a greater amount of emotions to be faced together .

Also just opening a lot with people helps me a lot but I have few people who are able to support me now.

What advice can you give me ?

Edited August 8, 2017 by nick96

[nick96]

@Azrael I read your enlightenment post. What psychedelics do you think could be effective for me now ? 

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, nick96 said:

Now I want a way to release FAST and COMFORTABLY the remaining emotions

What advice can you give me ?

don't rush. it's about loving yourself. it's impossible to release repressed emotions fast and comfortably. jeez, it's actually impossible to do it comfortably, slowly or fast.

why don't you go on a slow and purposeless walk? visit the sea or a river. fill up your being with some loving experiences. have you ever tried singing the mahamantra with krishna devotees? it feels awesome!

[Azrael]

42 minutes ago, nick96 said:

@Azrael I read your enlightenment post. What psychedelics do you think could be effective for me now ? 

I think you are better off with EMDR for now. Research it, you can do it on your own.

[Nahm]

@nick96 My opinion on anger is typically heckled by angry people - but I do hope this helps you. I suggest you go in the opposite route. As in, to me, you are fighting anger with envoking the experience of the anger, so you are creating more of what you actually don't want at all. I suggest you contemplate for a minute the old saying "anger is like holding hot coals in your hand and expecting someone else to feel the burn" (paraphrasing)

The most common problem I notice in the world is people trying to solve overthinking (they call it anxiety because they hate to admit that it's their own thinking) with more thinking.  IMO, thinking can't be solved with more thinking. Anger can't be solved with more anger. 

Only awareness, as in transcending thinking, moving into the level of awareness can help. I assume this brings to mind, that you are feeling a lot of pain from past traumas. I haven't experienced your, but I certainly have experienced mine, today, I am without any undesirable emotions whatsoever. None. 

I got to where I am today by:

Forgiving those who harmed me.

Loving them, because I know that I am transcending, with my awareness, the level of consciousness they held when they did terrible things to me. They simply didn't know. They were hurt, so they learned that, and taught you. But you have a choice to break that shit cycle. You have a choice to rise above it, to transcend it.  

Surrender. Just let it go. Let everything go. Many times everyday, take a minute to relax every muscle in your body and let it go.

 Start changing everything you encounter to something positive. Listen to positive music, abraham hicks type stuff on YouTube, do what you love, whatever that is - a hobby, paint, draw, write - anything positive and creative. 

I know it's hard and you probably are saying -"yeah, right, if I felt like I could do that stuff, I would"

This is how it works though. You will feel better when you do things that feel better. They accumulate over time. 

The only question is, right now, will you do something, and pick a thought, that feels a little better, or a little worse. 

It's one step at a time. Before you know it, time has passed and you are feeling great.

 

[Truth Seekah]

Catharsis background music:

 

Edited August 9, 2017 by Truth Seekah