45 Min Meditation A Day / 2 Months

[Soulbass]

45 Min Meditation A Day / 2 Months

Here it is, I've been struggling with time dedication towards meditation for too long, hopefully this journal will help me establish a new daily habit, for the rest of my life, and see the difference (if there is one).

The journal will end in 2 months, I'll post every day until I reach 60 days...

Edited January 25, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 1 : things gone well. After few minutes I felt more relax. I noticed my mind bouncing from here to here many times, I got lost in thoughts... but my body was still. See you, next time.

[Evilwave Heddy]

Good luck.

[Soulbass]

Day 2 : today the meditation was painful, in the body and emotionally. My body wanted to move. The 45 minutes seemed shorter this time.

Edited January 26, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 3 : I've noticed different "qualities" of meditation, I've been the observer, then observing the observer, then get lost in thoughts... I got music stuck in my head, so I decided to focus on it (still, it makes the mind quiet).

[Soulbass]

Day 4 : Today meditation gone well. I was in a train, I missed the end of the timer, so I meditated until the train arrive (+15 minutes than usual). Well, dunno what else to say, except that I notice more stillness in my mind maybe, and observe the rest of my day as if it would be a dream.

It's funny because "trains" are usually one of my dream-sign, for quest of lucidity in lucid dreaming, but I didn't performed reality check, maybe because I was in the "mood" of meditation already.

Edited January 29, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 5 : It seems time/space (or amount of time) between meditation sessions is shorter, so that it's just a continuous meditation. Even if I meditate just 45 min a day.

[Soulbass]

Day 6 : meditation was difficult, cloudy sky.

[Soulbass]

Day 7 : No meditation. I failed at discipline and time management.

Day 8 : Went right, my body wanted to move, my mind was cloudy.

If my body wanted to move during meditation, it's because I felt inspired to, not because of lack of self-control, but more like tai-chi, qi gong thing.

Sidenote : I notice the help of having a journal, especially because I failed one day, it remind me that it's not important, and that I don't have to think about it, 52 days are still coming (I'll meditate twice 45 minutes tomorrow to compensate).

Edited February 1, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 9 : Session 1 went OK. Now that I've lost the vision for why I originally created this journal, I'm entering the dark woods and actually hitting the rubber on the road. I like to associate meditation with something, like "sci-fi", dunno if that's matter with a cult, as Leo posted in his latest insight, but I need something to rely on, to cultivate my vision. Being a "consciousness punk" in a cyberpunk / trans-humanism universe helps me being on track. When I became vegetarian 8 years ago, parts of me were proud of "not being like all others, and fucking the system & industry". This attitude helped me being vegetarian at first, even if it should not be the main reason. Same is occurring with meditation habit : I need an "attitude" or a "context" to cultivate my vision, at first.

Session 2 went right. I figured out why I needed to move during metitation, it's because I needed to do some sport.

To someone who have never heard of meditation, I would describe it like this :

Meditation is nothing more or less than what you are actually doing *every day, all life long* except that you do it intentionally and sit down & do nothing *while doing it* in surrender and humbleness.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

[Soulbass]

Day 10 : I feel more density in my life. Little events seems to reveal synchronicity, and have meaning.

[Soulbass]

Day 11 : meditation went ok. I was kinda low energy before meditation, now I'm empowered. I had in my pockets : red jasper, tiger eye, calcedony & aragonite + red tourmaline pendant.

Edited February 4, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 12 : meditation went right, I felt more in connection with my body, than usual, these last days.

This afternoon, during a nap, because I was tired due to medication (I had an food-allergy, by accident) those medications (histamine) shoot down the brain a little bit. So, during the nap, I had a vision, or the feeling that "my" reality (this current day) was created, or should I say "self-created". It was like universes in bubbles, in a dark space. I think the dark space was the deep-sleep stage, which was total blackout due to medications.

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 2/3/2017 at 4:26 PM, Soulbass said:

Little events seems to reveal synchronicity, and have meaning.

YES!

[Soulbass]

Day 13 : Meditation was ok. It's late in the night, I haven't managed my time very well. The evening was busy, so next time I'll take care to plan meditation BEFORE hanging out with friends.

Edited February 7, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 14 : Meditation went right. I was meditating on the similarities between the dreaming state and the waking state, in perceptions. I thought that the waking state is physical, while the dreaming state is non-physical (symbols meaning, and interpretations).
 The physical world "seems" persistent, because we'r born in, and we'r used to it. The dream is non physical, so it's flowing, shapeless, formless and it's not solid (we can walk through walls and doors in dreams).

In dreams "expectations" is key, it's very important. Being lucid, we generate parts of the dream consciously, but most of it is computed by the subconscious. It is possible to be fully aware and in control of the whole thing, but it's for different purposes I guess. In a dream, let's say I'm about to open a door : my subconscious decide just right now what's behind the door, and it is always what's "true" to me. If I'm afraid of monsters, and I expect a monster to appear, it will probably be the case.

In waking state / physical world, time is more important. It requires time to things to appear, but I feel that it's the same mechanism. Thinking of the law of attraction, when people "want" something consciously, it's not the same thing they want in their subconscious. The subconscious make it appear, even if it's unknown to the conscious mind (it seems that way). The subconscious leads the game.

Edited February 8, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Tonight I dreamed that I was in a tree, because a bull wanted to attack me. At some point, I decide to leave the tree, and catch the bull by the horns. The bull was saying "you will fail, everyone failed before you". There were some blood on the horns, but it was not mine. I cached the bull by the horn, and resisted to it.

Day 15 : Meditation went well. After sport, it's always easier for the body to stay still.

[Soulbass]

Day 16 : Meditation went ok. I notice that meditation is less effective when I get totally lost in monkey mind for the rest of the day. It should be more like a 24/7 practice, with an emphasis on the 45 mins/day. I plan to work on that soon.

Edited February 9, 2017 by Soulbass

[Soulbass]

Day 17 : Fail, no meditation.

Day 18 : Meditation went ok.

Day 19 : Meditation went ok.