Some words to Myself

[Vlad_]

Hey, recently I've watched the solipsism video (even though you put it down) and I realized that I already knew what you were talking about in the video, I just had forgotten that again. I remember that I'm the only conscious being that there is, although I'm not conscious of it in the present moment. I can't stop forgetting it, only psychedelics help me to get to the truth, but only for a while. I'm enjoying my dream and I interact with everything as it was 'real', but in the back of my mind I remember what I keep forgetting.  Survival holds me so strong in the dream, but there is nothing wrong with that. 

I'm not depressed by the fact that I'm alone, but I don't take my survival as serious as I used to. I know that you're telling me that it's important and I need to be successful at survival (career, life purpose, getting laid), but seriously I don't think so. I think it's just another distraction, because I will never be able to be perfect at survival and I don't really want to. I want to be happy with what it is now. You can't have everything in life.  

Sometimes challenges take me deeper into the dream, but each challenge getting  weaker. Now I'm imagining myself being ukranian and facing a lot of challenges, but I remember that I'm what I'm now. 

With Love, God to itself.