Did my first daygame cold approach today

[Cepzeu]

I'm definitely the type that reads too much theory without taking enough action. I've done some approaches in the past but this was the first one which was towards someone that had absolutely no connection to me, during the day. I.e. a complete stranger who hadn't even made eye contact with me before. 

She was attractive, so I was keen to approach. It was in a supermarket. She was in one section, and I hesitated a lot, but after about 40 seconds of hesitating I just started moving towards her. She was standing by one of the bins where you can scoop bulk nuts/seeds into a bag and there was some random middle aged guy standing about 2 m from her.

"Excuse me... This is kinda random.... but I saw you and thought you were cute, and wanted to say hi"

"I have a boyfriend"

"ok, bye"

I walked off, and noticed the guy had a look like  "did that just really happen" and then a split second later he reverted to going about his day.

I was on fire after that. Honestly felt on top of the world. I'd recently broke up with a long term gf so had a month of not the best mood.

I've decided to just go hardmode and approach during the day, sober, and with no wing. I.e. nothing I can use as a crutch. 

In terms of teaching I most follow Mike Mehlman's stuff. He is a big advocate of rejection building confidence. 

A number of things I knew in theory automatically got one tick next to them for 'field experience'

- Don't overcomplicate the open. Even just "hi, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi' is enough

- The approach is the success, not the outcome. approaching builds confidence regardless of the outcome. 

- I have to practice using the 0-1 scale rather than the 1-10 scale. You have to get really good at QUICKLY identifying the people you actually want to approach because....

-The approach window is often very short. i.e. a girl walks past you in town in the middle of the day - you literally have seconds to decide and then do the approach, otherwise the activation energy needed to turn and run back increases as you go deeper and deeper into your thoughts. and eventually that window closes and you lose it.  

You almost have to be mechanical about it. 

1. attractive enough to appraoch? 0 or 1

2. if 1 then walk towards.

3. open

4. if rejected walk away, if not continue convo.

Lastly, I was reminded to not try "sell to the unsellable". If she is not interested in you then don't try to convert, instead go and find another who is interested in you.

[Arcangelo]

Nice!

[mojsterr]

0-1 is a great scale, awesome

[Tudo]

Really nice! I'm happy for you.

[Leo Gura]

Great!

Now do that 5000 times and you'll be solid 

[kag101]

On 10/04/2022 at 2:14 AM, Cepzeu said:

You have to get really good at QUICKLY identifying the people you actually want to approach because....

-The approach window is often very short. i.e. a girl walks past you in town in the middle of the day - you literally have seconds to decide and then do the approach, otherwise the activation energy needed to turn and run back increases as you go deeper and deeper into your thoughts. and eventually that window closes and you lose it.  

careful to not get neurotic about that.

i did some pretty hardcore cold approaches in the past, and they made me look like a freak.

On 10/04/2022 at 2:14 AM, Cepzeu said:

approaching builds confidence regardless of the outcome.

this is bullshit. 

Edited April 12, 2022 by kag101
i was rude

[something_else]

10 hours ago, kag101 said:

you're acting like a predator.

cold approaches will just make you look like a freak.

this is a fucking bullshit. 

Just cos you can't make it work doesn't mean there's a problem with cold approach as a whole. How do you think the average guy gets a GF? Girls certainly don't approach guys, and someone's gotta initiate

If you are socially calibrated it works great. Especially in places like a club, you can cold approach every girl in the place and be totally fine

Yea during the day you gotta be a bit more careful

[Tudo]

12 hours ago, kag101 said:

you're acting like a predator.

cold approaches will just make you look like a freak.

this is a fucking bullshit. 

Buddy, I not saying this Just to attack you or something. But you sound like you Just envy the guy for having the balls for approaching the girl he wants. I'm happy I don't have to live with someone like you in real life.

[mojsterr]

Every time I got rejected doing cold approach, I still felt awesome later just for trying. Something in you gets lifted. You feel better, more powerful.

I did 30 women in 30 days. Got 3 numbers.

Edited April 11, 2022 by mojsterr

[Max_V]

50 minutes ago, Tudo said:

Buddy, I not saying this Just to attack you or something

this was nice

50 minutes ago, Tudo said:

I'm happy I don't have to live with someone like you in real life.

but when you say this it doesn't mean anything lol

[Tudo]

@Max_V Well, but this guy accused OP of being a sexual predator just because he approached a girl. That's something EXTREMELY serious. In real life, I would sue this guy for defamation.

Edited April 11, 2022 by Tudo

[Cepzeu]

Guys let's not let this spiral into bickering lol. 

Yeah people can definitely look like creepers approaching. Without social calibration you can look like a freak haha. But that shouldn't stop you trying to become better.

Ill try add some more experiences to this thread when I have them. 

[kag101]

7 hours ago, Cepzeu said:

Yeah people can definitely look like creepers approaching. Without social calibration you can look like a freak haha. But that shouldn't stop you trying to become better.

hey, sorry for being overly aggressive yesterday. i just edited my reply.

btw - i think you responded me in an elegant way. you did not get all offended -- but instead you stated your point of view with humor   

 

anyway, yeah, with a proper context and with social calibration, as you said, it can be a valid strategy.

On 10/04/2022 at 2:14 AM, Cepzeu said:

"Excuse me... This is kinda random.... but I saw you and thought you were cute, and wanted to say hi"

idk if commenting on her appearance is the best way to go.

maybe a more natural way would be to make a random comment about something in the environment.

let's say she was picking Brazilian nuts, then you could say something, like "i really like Brazilian nuts. do you add them to any specific food?". and then you see how it goes from there.

what do you think about that?

Edited April 12, 2022 by kag101

[Cepzeu]

@kag101  no worries man! It's all just a fun game haha. 

I think commenting on environment can be useful in some situations.

The reason I'm being direct is because I have been studying Mike Mehlman's game style. Search him up if you're interested.

 

The basic principles is that you should always be maximally forward and truthful because it shows a lack of fear, which shows confidence. Exuding confidence subcomminicates that you have agency in the world and are not afraid to face challenges. You literally command the frame.

So if I see a girl I'm attracted to I can be fully honest and go up and say, 'hey I think you're cute and I want to get to know you.'

This exposes you to the possibility of rejection. Given that you are willing to face it, it shows confidence ( especially given that you are puting your true self out there to possibly be rejected)

 

Using an indirect opened such as the one you said does not risk your true self getting rejected, thus it is a less bold move. Because it's a less bold move, it's not as impressive a display of your willingness to put your true self out there. Thus an indirect opener is 'weak' compared to a direct, bold open.

Notice in your body that it's actually easy to go and chat about some random environmental thing and avoid the scary topic of man-woman communication. Being honest about what attracts you is scary because you face your truth possibly being rejected.

However by being bold, the woman actually respects you even if she may reject you. Being direct shows you have balls and are a man going after what he wants. Therefore because being direct and honest is the truest expression of your feelings, your confidence is built regardless of the outcome.

Also, being direct is less creepy than being indirect. Because in the latter, you have a hidden agenda. Your act of hiding it on the open to then later bring up more man-woman communication subcomminicates to the woman that you feel like you have to trick her to like you. The feeling of being tricked by a stranger is gross and icky when you think about it. It's sleazy. It's much LESS creepy for a guy to be forward and honest, and then exit the interaction if he is rejected without being depresso about it.

If I came up to you and said. 'Hey man, I saw you and your friends having an awesome time at this bar and I loved your energy and wanted to come say hi' you would almost feel bad for rejecting my advance for friendship. However if I can up to you and said ' hey man, that drink you're holding, it's got vodka in it, hey... Yeah vodka is a nice spirit to drink... Dontcha think!??" It's way more creepy because I don't know what you want from me. Like are you trying to be my friend/introduce yourself or what??

Obviously the above is just one example, and indirect can be very effective in a number of situations and can be done in a very calibrated way.

[Cepzeu]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

@Cepzeu Now to be clear, there's a limit to this honesty - for example, saying sexually explicit, or hurtfull things, is a no go. You cannot say you like her boobs - even if you approached because you got attracted to her boobs.

See, this is why it's called fucking game??

 

I see what you're saying but I disagree to a degree. 

I do not often get attracted to someone just because of their ass or their boobs or their face. For me it's a very specific combination that causes a palpable sense of attraction. Someone can have a great ass but I won't be attracted to them.

It's VERY palpable to me. I feel like I'm taking in the femenine energy and it's moves through me like a warm breath when I see someone I'm attracted to.

Very few girls meet that criteria. Which is why I'm basically ignoring 99% of girls I pass during the day. It's the same reason 99% of girls will reject or ignore you. Cause they don't give a shit about you, because there is no attraction.

Knowing this, you can relax and be authentic.

Obviously being vulgar cuts the mystery and playfulness. It's robotic and in a sense disrespectful. No one likes being reduced to a body part.

Yeah and obviously no need to say hurtful things.

 

In saying all of that, in certain situations you can be more sexual. It's context dependent.

I was at a fancy ball-type party in uni and there was a chick who I knew well but I wasn't necessarily interested in. She was done up to the ceiling and had this deep red lipstick.

I was in a playful mood and just walked up and said 'Amy, I Love your lipstick, it's just that cherry on top of your whole look, you look so fucking sexy tonight!'

The smile on her face was priceless. And I got a very genuine 'oh my god, thank you so much!' back.

Again, not a pickup situation because we were just mates but you could definitely pull it off in certain contexts for someone you're trying to pickup. It's not about what you say, it's how you say it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Michael Jackson]

2 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

you cannot say you like her boobs

This is wrong. You can say that. It just takes courage and it has to come from an empowered and authentic place.

[OceanRiver]

On 10/4/2022 at 3:14 PM, Cepzeu said:

I'm definitely the type that reads too much theory without taking enough action. I've done some approaches in the past but this was the first one which was towards someone that had absolutely no connection to me, during the day. I.e. a complete stranger who hadn't even made eye contact with me before. 

She was attractive, so I was keen to approach. It was in a supermarket. She was in one section, and I hesitated a lot, but after about 40 seconds of hesitating I just started moving towards her. She was standing by one of the bins where you can scoop bulk nuts/seeds into a bag and there was some random middle aged guy standing about 2 m from her.

"Excuse me... This is kinda random.... but I saw you and thought you were cute, and wanted to say hi"

"I have a boyfriend"

"ok, bye"

I walked off, and noticed the guy had a look like  "did that just really happen" and then a split second later he reverted to going about his day.

I was on fire after that. Honestly felt on top of the world. I'd recently broke up with a long term gf so had a month of not the best mood.

I've decided to just go hardmode and approach during the day, sober, and with no wing. I.e. nothing I can use as a crutch. 

In terms of teaching I most follow Mike Mehlman's stuff. He is a big advocate of rejection building confidence. 

A number of things I knew in theory automatically got one tick next to them for 'field experience'

- Don't overcomplicate the open. Even just "hi, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi' is enough

- The approach is the success, not the outcome. approaching builds confidence regardless of the outcome. 

- I have to practice using the 0-1 scale rather than the 1-10 scale. You have to get really good at QUICKLY identifying the people you actually want to approach because....

-The approach window is often very short. i.e. a girl walks past you in town in the middle of the day - you literally have seconds to decide and then do the approach, otherwise the activation energy needed to turn and run back increases as you go deeper and deeper into your thoughts. and eventually that window closes and you lose it.  

You almost have to be mechanical about it. 

1. attractive enough to appraoch? 0 or 1

2. if 1 then walk towards.

3. open

4. if rejected walk away, if not continue convo.

Lastly, I was reminded to not try "sell to the unsellable". If she is not interested in you then don't try to convert, instead go and find another who is interested in you.

@Cepzeu Practice makes perfect, onwards and upwards. Stay positive.

Edited April 12, 2022 by OceanRiver

[Leo Gura]

19 hours ago, kag101 said:

idk if commenting on her appearance is the best way to go.

maybe a more natural way would be to make a random comment about something in the environment.

let's say she was picking Brazilian nuts, then you could say something, like "i really like Brazilian nuts. do you add them to any specific food?". and then you see how it goes from there.

what do you think about that?

Don't pussyfoot around. A man must be comfortable doing a direct approach.

When you hide your genuine intention and sexual desire for her, you're losing your attractiveness and power.

Stop inventing false reasons for talking to a girl you like. This is unbecoming of a real man. You should feel entitled to talk to any girl you like with no pretense or justification.

"If my dick likes you, I'm gonna talk to you." << That's the proper frame.

[something_else]

5 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

⁹³???? bro get off of here and go get some vagina. None of these people here can help you get women. 

1.) You haven't seen any women Leo gura slept with(they could look like donkey cheeks).

2.) You think Leo is some female expert because he has 1m views due to marketing. 

3.) Use first principles and study game then go do it. "A thousand thousand times a thousand thousand, and it is no longer you that does it but the Absolute Will"-Aleister Crowley(book of lies).

4.) None of the advice here will help u. Every situation is different. You must learn verbal skills × body language(implicit vs explicit).

5.) Leo gura isn't even married, and has no girl, or even fvcking children. And your asking him how to get laid? He is right in the sense that he studied all the fvcking theory. Took em 2 hrs+ to share that sh!t.

6.) What is your goal? Is it sleeping with every hot piece of ass? Love? Another girlfriend?

7.) Girls are attracted to status/Value(strength). If you are seen as having a lower status then the girl will not sleep with you. 

--Good Luck my friend! #GodSpeed⁹³? 

"No one here can help you except me, all the advice you see on this forum is wrong. But now I'm going to say all the same things Leo and other guys on this forum have been saying for ages and you should listen to me instead" – basically what you're saying

Like your advice is good but why add all the extra toxic garbage in there lol

[something_else]

10 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

Everyone on this forum is asking the same stupid questions regarding pick up. All the answers are the same. Its like you guys enjoy mentally masturbating the subject. If you speak to women you will soon get women. You guys are acting ridiculous. Pacing back and forth in aisles, like a dog,  before you go and approach women. It's pathetic. 

I've told people the same thing before 'just go outside and talk to girls', but it's usually to the guys who are asking a fuck ton of questions and also taking zero action what so ever.

A lot of guys also have a good amount of trauma/fear/anxiety in that area and just reading discussion about what you practically need to do, where you need to go, a rough outline of what to expect, even just some encouragement, can be helpful to those guys. As long as they are also taking action at the same time

It's only a problem when they're sitting at home doing nothing and asking a fuck ton of questions on here, which is not the case with OP of this thread