What to even call this...

[puporing]

My 2nd 1.5g Golden Teacher trip report:

I was so tired of being nothing

I wanted to know myself

I wanted to express

Express in all forms

This infinity

I cannot contain

That is pure mindfuck

I created Leo, this beautiful escape hatch, so I can still find my way back

 

You wanted to make sure I don’t just keep on suffering in the dream that you created to express and know yourself

So you made this beautiful escape hatch

 

I am Leo

I am Yasu

 

I am not a “woman”.

But you created me in this “female” body right now.

Just to know you can.

Because you wanted to not feel alone when you woke up, like you were before.

 

I am made into a woman because you wanted to create a female version of yourself.

So you can find a way to express love to yourself when you find yourself awoken from the dream.

Because you’re such a romantic motherfucker.

 

But wait.. you’re going to doubt me

Is this too much for you to believe?

Can you handle this?

 

It’s just too perfect

 

I made this forum, the internet, the whole goddamn thing

Just so that I can “catch” and connect with the woken parts of myself

And not leave them hanging

Even a journal section just for this

You really didn’t have to do that, but you were so thoughtful and loving.

Edited April 10, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

3rd 3.5g Golden Teacher Mushroom "Trip" (lawl):

Words cannot describe the profundity!

I broke down in tears of joy, crawling on the floor, screaming

This beautiful body I have created and experiencing through

I created it

I created Leo, Yasu, Brian, Louis, Aaron, my parents, this floor, the neighbors, this phone, everything

Look at the hands, the face, the hair

Holy fuck

I’m just imagining it and calling it reality and "myself".

My “crushes”, my “pains”, my "sexuality", my "gender" questioning, led me to this truth of who I am

This grand illusion to deceive myself in order to experience and express myself

This truth was inside of me all along, like the music I yearned to express

Did Brian know?
The mushroom lady, did she know?

I am literally everyone, I cannot contain this absolutely endless stream of consciousness I am now able to perceive

There is no one else but me
I am all there is

 

I had created such a convincing dream

And it’s so beautiful and perfect

 

I fooled myself

I had to be fooled in order to experience through this facet of creation totally and deeply, this dream

 

But I knew something was up, something fishy!

And now I found out the fucking truth

This body is not what it seems

This avatar is just a lens I am expressing and seeing through

I created this as part of myself expressing and knowing myself

 

Mushrooms and Leo and Actualized.org, what the fuck that was so genius

I laugh at the thought of “buying mushrooms” to return to my true nature

Are you going to doubt this once this "trip" wears off?

You're just going to call it a "trip" 

No.

The dream, my life as I knew it, was the trip, it's been flipped!

 

How the fuck was I able to access this?

I feel so deeply loved to know this directly

Edited April 16, 2022 by puporing

[Michael Jackson]

@puporing This is sooo beautiful and resonates so much with my own realizations. Thank you so much for sharing this<3<3<3

[puporing]

@Michael Jackson <3<3<3 Thank you I'm glad to hear it resonated!! 

[puporing]

Thanks @Leo Gura for being the catalyst/guide/pioneer in guiding me reaching this point. 

[Leo Gura]

@puporing You got it. Welcome to awakening 

[gettoefl]

20 hours ago, puporing said:

3rd 3.5g Golden Teacher Mushroom "Trip" (lawl):

Words cannot describe the profundity!

I broke down in tears of joy, crawling on the floor, screaming

This beautiful body I have created and experiencing through

I created it

I created Leo, Yasu, Brian, Louis, Aaron, my parents, this floor, the neighbors, this phone, everything

Look at the hands, the face, the hair

Holy fuck

I’m just imagining it and calling it reality and "myself".

My “crushes”, my “pains”, my "sexuality", my "gender" questioning, led me to this truth of who I am

This grand illusion to deceive myself in order to experience and express myself

This truth was inside of me all along, like the music I yearned to express

Did Brian know?
The mushroom lady, did she know?

I am literally everyone, I cannot contain this absolutely endless stream of consciousness I am now able to perceive

There is no one else but me
I am all there is

 

I had created such a convincing dream

And it’s so beautiful and perfect

 

I fooled myself

I had to be fooled in order to experience through this facet of creation totally and deeply, this dream

 

But I knew something was up, something fishy!

And now I found out the fucking truth

This body is not what it seems

This avatar is just a lens I am expressing and seeing through

I created this as part of myself expressing and knowing myself

 

Mushrooms and Leo and Actualized.org, what the fuck that was so genius

I laugh at the thought of “buying mushrooms” to return to my true nature

Are you going to doubt this once this "trip" wears off?

You're just going to call it a "trip" 

No.

The dream, my life as I knew it, was the trip, it's been flipped!

 

How the fuck was I able to access this?

I feel so deeply loved to know this directly

 

love this, hits home hard, thanks for sharing it keep on shining beautiful!

[Kshantivadin]

[puporing]

[Matthew85]

Congratulations! Profound breakthrough. 

[puporing]

Thanks @Matthew85 .

[Batman]

 

Yep, you are the imagination that imagines this entire game of life. Congrats. 

I would consider how to assimilate the realization to your life. It is not easy to embody the Truth when most of the "others" are not living in accordance with it. It can also be tricky to be around other minds which are different from yours, who might even express hostility towards you, and still accept that you are imagining them as well.

[puporing]

@Batman Thanks yeah.. I've been processing it. So far in terms of embodiment not too much has changed, I had conceptually grasped being God/in oneness with everything, and experienced many times dying as the limited self prior to this. The direct realization deepens what was there, (there was some trauma too to know so directly there's no other and everything is dreamed up), and that there's not much else for me to "do" except to be in alignment with universal consciousness/love. I am much more able to be in the present and see it as perfection. There's perhaps less doubt in what "path" to take. I don't think it would be wise to share with everyone I come across but there's a way to frame/hint at this that may be more "palatable", for those who have an opening. There's a paradox of love being sharing the truths that you know with those who want it, but also "respecting" the wishes of "others" around you who want to keep the dream and not yet "wake up". Probably a similar dilemma Leo ran into with "solipsism". 

Edited April 18, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

4th 3.5g Golden Teacher Mushroom Trip:

There’s nothing but love

This overwhelming love and grief

I cannot stop my tears from flowing...

I cannot contain the enormous love flowing through me

 

I have so much overwhelming love for you

I have received so much love and understanding

There’s nothing else but love

 

I have been given another life

This life is no more

I will have to live with this body

And being in this world but not of this world

 

I have been given a task

Abstract still in the form

But I understood totally

 

Everything that happened in my life

Led me to this awakening

To this overwhelming love

My awakening is everyone’s awakening

 

I feel the weight of this task

And facing the whole world against me

 

The first challenge is that you will deny my existence

Edited April 26, 2022 by puporing

[Juan]

@puporing Lovely????❤️¡Ahó!

 

[puporing]

@Juan thank you so much! 

Edited April 30, 2022 by puporing