Unable to get laid - can't take it anymore

[Karmadhi]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

You either have to be super cute or super confident. Looking at the thread and what he says he is definitely not confident so he definitely has to be cute.

If he was that cute he would prolly be laid too.

[StarStruck]

16 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

If he was that cute he would prolly be laid too.

Being cute can get you 40 dates but you can easily fuck it up by killing the mood somehow. 

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura Has it ever happened to you that you kiss a girl on a date but you and or her dont feel anything? Even if you find each other physical attractive? Is that normal?

Not really.

But sometimes you two just won't match up or she will not be into it. I've had dates where I was into her but she wasn't into me.

I've also had dates where as I learned more about her, I didn't like her much as a person.

Solution is to screen hard up front and stop going with girls just because she's receptive to your approach. Actually screen her for what you're looking for.

[Karmadhi]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

she will not be into it. I've had dates where I was into her but she wasn't into me

Why would a girl go on a date with a guy she is not into?

[Yali]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Actually screen her for what you're looking for.

How do you do this? @Leo Gura

Edited June 7, 2022 by Yali

[Max_V]

@Leo Gura Perhaps it’s just me, but all this sounds so absurd. Why does it take 1000s of hours of self-help work to get a girlfriend. How can I be so messed up that it requires that amount of time and where is the fairness in that? Isn’t it better to just give up? Bad rng?

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Leo Gura Perhaps it’s just me, but all this sounds so absurd. Why does it take 1000s of hours of self-help work to get a girlfriend. How can I be so messed up that it requires that amount of time and where is the fairness in that? Isn’t it better to just give up? Bad rng?

It doesn’t require that much to just get a girlfriend unless you are starting from an extremely bad place and/or using a really inefficient process to improve.

[Max_V]

@Raze Probably not for a normal person, I'm just messed up. Extreme low self-worth, unable to love myself in any way.

[Raze]

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Raze Probably not for a normal person, I'm just messed up. Extreme low self-worth, unable to love myself in any way.

You can get a girlfriend without having self worth. It probably won’t go well though.

The purpose of learning to accept yourself isn’t to get a girlfriend, it’s what life is calling for you to do.

[Max_V]

@Raze I just need somebody or something to love me, I can't do it myself

[Razard86]

19 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Why would a girl go on a date with a guy she is not into?

I guess you have not heard of the infamous free lunch/dinner hustle. Also some women just want some good conversation/entertainment. Yall can't tell me yall don't know about this? LOL.

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Raze I just need somebody or something to love me, I can't do it myself

Yes you can, you need to learn to meet your own emotional needs. Otherwise you will have neediness which turns off women.

[Razard86]

5 hours ago, Raze said:

Yes you can, you need to learn to meet your own emotional needs. Otherwise you will have neediness which turns off women.

Bingo!!! I love seeing people who spread the truth!!

[StarStruck]

One can't raze emotional needs like wanting to be loved. It is innate to humans to have that desire. Every person desires to be loved but if nobody does, you have to learn to love yourself by learning yourself how to open your heart chakra.

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Leo Gura Perhaps it’s just me, but all this sounds so absurd. Why does it take 1000s of hours of self-help work to get a girlfriend. How can I be so messed up that it requires that amount of time and where is the fairness in that? Isn’t it better to just give up? Bad rng?

1) Life ain't fair, so drop that childish expectation. Embrace the challenge. Embrace your weaknesses. For some guys earning $1M will be easier than getting a girlfriend. For other guys, earning $10K will be harder than getting a girlfriend. We each have our strengths and weaknesses.

Honestly, for me, it is way easier to make $1M than find the right girl. But I have high standards. It would be worth it to pay $100K to find the right girl.

2) It doesn't usually take 1000s of hours to get a gf. The 1000s of hours we're talking about here is not to get a gf but to develop the skillset to become really good with attracting and understanding girls, and also growing yourself into a powerful man. The gf is the least important part of this process.

3) There are many degrees of getting a gf. There are many qualities of gf. Just getting a random slob girl at the bar to be your gf is way easier than say, getting a smoking hot, mentally stable, spiritual, well-developed gf who aligns with your personality. The higher your standards the harder you will have to work for it and the more value you will have to bring to the table. When I talk about getting a gf I'm really talking about finding your "perfect" girl. A high quality life partner, not just some fuck buddy who you are afraid to show your friends.

4) There's also the matter of how high outside your league are you trying to bat? If you're not so good looking you will have to provide a lot of value in other areas to attract and keep your smoking hot gf. But if you are happy with a below-average girl, then that will be way way easier to get.

- - - - - -

Think of it this way, the 1000s of hours of self-help work is something you should already be eager to do for yourself. You're not doing it for the girl, you're doing it FOR YOU! And then you will leverage that investment to also attract a high quality girl.

[Leo Gura]

On 6/6/2022 at 4:33 PM, Karmadhi said:

Why would a girl go on a date with a guy she is not into?

She's into you, but on a surface level. As she gets to know your personality better incompatibilities can naturally arise. Don't take it personal, this just means you two are not suitable for each other. Compatibility is crucial and you can't know compatibility within 1 hour of talking to a person. It takes time to unfold.

I've had cases where our personalities just clash and grate. She might be hot but her personality might be very lacking.

[Max_V]

59 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Life ain't fair, so drop that childish expectation

Currently I have no idea if God exists or not, but if God does exist isn't this bad/flawed design? 

59 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Think of it this way, the 1000s of hours of self-help work is something you should already be eager to do for yourself. You're not doing it for the girl, you're doing it FOR YOU! And then you will leverage that investment to also attract a high quality girl.

Your points actually make a lot of sense, thanks for laying everything out so clear and conscisely for me. I don't want to further bloat this thread with my problems, it's not the place, but I've been in a really bad place so will ask one last thing. 
Doing it "For me" requires that I feel some sort of self-worth, which I don't. I feel this immense hatred towards the being that I am and have been since early childhood, every year it has been growing like a tumor, which leaves me close to suicidal at age 22. I've been to multiple therapists, meditated since 16 when I stumbled upon your channel and tried different things, but have yet to find the right help and am running out of options. What would you say are the best places for me to further explore?

Thanks for all.

[28 cm unbuffed]

Get a hooker bro

Or

If you are unable to get that shit done just fuck that, forget about it and focus only on yourself - this way you will improve yourself and become a better man, you will not be so fucking needy, because you will authentically not give a fuck and maybe then after this magical letting go method you will be able to attract someone that will want to fuck with you

Or not

But at least you will enjoy your life and do not depend your happiness on putting your dick inside someone else, that's dumb

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

Currently I have no idea if God exists or not, but if God does exist isn't this bad/flawed design?

It's all fair from the absolute POV since there is no difference between anything. But this will not help with your survival concerns, which is the context of this thread. Survival cannot ever be fair since it is false and finite.

Quote

Doing it "For me" requires that I feel some sort of self-worth, which I don't. I feel this immense hatred towards the being that I am and have been since early childhood, every year it has been growing like a tumor, which leaves me close to suicidal at age 22. I've been to multiple therapists, meditated since 16 when I stumbled upon your channel and tried different things, but have yet to find the right help and am running out of options. What would you say are the best places for me to further explore?

Yes, your lack of self-love could kill you.

You need to locate the source/root of this self-hate (hint: childhood trauma) and work on healing it.

Therapy or psychedelics would be your best bets. I'd try both.

This isn't rocket science. But you have to want to face that trauma and heal it. You can't fix it if you don't want to face it.

Why do you hate yourself/life? It simply boils down to this question. Dare to answer it.

The answer is gonna be something like: you didn't get the love you wanted. And the solution is to go about getting that love.

[RMQualtrough]

Just get a cat init... Humans have gas problems. Like wtf... Something didn't go right in out evolution line.