Unable to get laid - can't take it anymore

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Kid A Okay gotcha. Perhaps I mis-demographed you then

My other thoughts would be to make sure your fundamentals are all there:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLerFT-XxztEalxbpIRFxjjDJs6XYwHsSa

[Raze]

You have way too much emotional neediness. This is not a healthy attitude and getting a relationship is not the solution.

That being said if you got girls on 30 dates the issue is something you are doing or not doing and you can resolve it. 
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

http://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byB0TQt1IdE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xxqg4PHg3M   

Edited April 12, 2022 by Raze

[Hardkill]

Hey OP, I've actually been on about 40 in a row dates that didn't lead to any sex when I started out, even though many people including a lot of girls in the past throughout most of my life told me that I look hot or look like a model. Even when I put on a solid amount of muscle and became fit with quiet a nice looking physique overall, I still struggled like crazy. I eventually got some largely by playing the numbers like crazy both online and cold/warm approaching IRL as well as continually using the pickup and dating methods I learned from guys like Goodlookingloser, Locario, Leo, and Gunwitch. 

Also, in 2018, on my thread I just got banned from a pickup forum, I said to Leo "Do u think it's possible that cold approach won't ever work for some people even if they truly trued their hardest everyday, every week, every month, every year and approach about thousands of girls or more per year at various kinds of venues?" His response was "You've got a terrible case of victim mentality going. Notice this. Stop thinking about failure, and start visualizing your success. Of course if you talk to enough girls, some of them will sleep with you. It's only a matter of time. Even a blind squirrel stumbled into an acorn. If you go out long enough, the odds will become so great at some point, that a random girl will just want to sleep with you for absolutely no reason other than that she's horny and you're the closest guy around."

Additionally, on another thread made by someone else, "Should i just settle for average/below average girls? Confused, need advice," the guy who made the thread said that he went on countless dates for over 6 months, did the best he could during that whole time by flirting with them, having a good time with them, escalating pretty well with them, reading the girls' cues and body language, etc. and still didn't get any sex. Leo's response was "that's just some bad luck. Keep doing what you're doing and you will get great results. You are giving up too soon. You must be more persistent and have more patience with the entire process. Sometimes I would go out for months and not get laid just because of bad luck. Then I would get a model. Dry spells happen in this game. If you are getting dates you so close to closing. Don't quit now. You need to reframe every date as a success, even if she never calls you back. This is an inner game issue. You're not framing this properly in your own mind."

Even other guys out there that I have talked to who are some of the top dating experts out there like Locario and Gunwitch said that with enough volume of approaches that you'll eventually luck up on some sex with some cute girl out there even if your approaches and dating skills kinda suck. Once you get your first lay or two simply playing the number game (without doing anything that you know is obviously creepy with women), then you should focus more on tightening your game to get a better success rate with women.

[Esilda]

@Kid A sending so much love hun ❤️, your story makes me really, really worried please keep opening your heart more so we can hear it and you can heal ❤️‍?.

Edited April 13, 2022 by Esilda

[Ninja_pig]

Honestly, it might not be your fault! I think some of Leo's pickup advice is good, but some of it is... not. My favorite pickup teacher is John Anthony Lifestyle (Look him up on YouTube). Don't put too much pressure on yourself! Pickup is not a skill that takes forever to learn, despite what Leo might say about it. You don't need to go through some ridiculous amount of self help in order to get laid! Keep hope by reading success stores from people with a similar situation.

To solve your problem specifically, I would say be more sexual on your dates. Talk to the girls like you would a friend, but make it sexual! Make sexual jokes, comment on her looks, touch her, frame it so that you will go to your house after the date. Only back off if the girl is getting uncomfortable. Ask for forgiveness not for permission. This will make your dates exciting for the girls and will move things along rather than letting them fizzle out. If a girl sees that you are not being sexual, she will see that you are not willing to be ballsy or maybe even think that you re not interested in her. So sexualize! John Anthony talks about this more in depth on his channel. Again. Highly recommend.

[something_else]

If you got 40 dates in half a year you're doing something right and you have zero reason to be hopeless.

However you're also doing something catastrophically wrong if you've gone on 40 dates and they've gone nowhere. Frankly I have no idea how you could manage to go on 40 dates and not get laid on even 1 of them.... It seems like you'd actually have to actively try not to get laid in 1 out of 40 dates...

If a girl goes on a date with you it means she'd be willing to fuck you. Have you ever even tried to lead a girl to have sex on any of your dates? Women want to have sex. Women enjoy sex too. Women enjoy playful sexual conversation and flirting. Women enjoy it when you escalate. You shouldn't be scared of these things. But frankly the only reason I can think of that you haven't got laid out of 40 dates is that you're not even trying to have sex with the girl

I'm being aggressive here, but frankly I think the way I'm wording this should convey that there is probably a very small change you could make that would start to get you results because you already have the exposure to girls and that's 90% of the difficulty done. The next date you go on just try and escalate no matter what

[Michael Jackson]

@Ninja_pig  I LIKE your NAME

[bloomer]

@Kid A

On 4/9/2022 at 2:31 AM, Kid A said:

I was so depressed that there were only two chocies: Start doing pickup and all that, or kill myself. Unfortunately I chose the first.

I think there are more than two options friend. 

On 4/9/2022 at 2:31 AM, Kid A said:

I really wish I was dead. The only thing that keeps me alive is that I care too much about my immediate family to commit suicide. Now what?

Yeah it's really shit and I feel you. You're also a soldier btw man. Truly commendable that you've gone through this trial by fire. A shame you've had no results and that's most likely thanks to PUA lies. I'm in a similar boat to you, well have been. No longer as depressed or suicidal. It's tough to break out of that depression when you give yourself prerequisites for your happiness. Like "I can't be happy unless I have a gf". You're making your happiness dependent upon externatlites. I started being much happier when I stopped being so dependent on those things. You can too and ironically that will probably make you more attractive to the opposite sex. So my advice would be to learn to not care so much and to not give yourself ultimatums. Probably heard it before but gfs aren't the most important thing in the world. It's shit not having them but you can find other things more worthwhile in life. 

 

[Kshantivadin]

You are loved. And you're strong as fuck bro. I don't even know you and I respect you.

[Hardkill]

Btw OP, for newbies, especially for hardcase newbies who are really inexperienced and unskilled with socializing with people in general, it can take about a full year of consistently approaching and dating girl and perhaps even doing a fair amount of work on online dating to get your first lay.

Also, definitely head over the Dating, Relationships, Sexuality to check to see if anybody else agrees with what I am saying.

[Danioover9000]

@Kid A

On 4/9/2022 at 2:31 AM, Kid A said:

Since elementary school I've only wanted one single thing in my life: A girlfriend. 16 years later: Absolutely nothing has happened there. Last summer I was so depressed that there were only two chocies: Start doing pickup and all that, or kill myself. Unfortunately I chose the first. Since then my life has been a nightmare so bad I didn't even know it was possible. I've been on around 40 dates and every single one of them just end with a message the following day where they say they didn't feel the chemistry. Right now I've just had the worst night of my life, where not a single girl at the club I was at wanted to talk to me, and I probably approached around 30 of them. So far this year: All food tastes like ash and it has become so difficult to work out that I give up most of the workouts. I really wish I was dead. The only thing that keeps me alive is that I care too much about my immediate family to commit suicide. Now what?

   I've been through similar, and it's not a fun experience. Hang in there, buddy, you'll eventually get a GF, like me.

   Keep dreaming, visioning, and vary your approaches. Success gonna happen at some point.

[SeaMonster]

On 4/9/2022 at 1:22 PM, Kid A said:

My biggest problem now is the lack of energy. I don’t have enough of it to even work out or make food.

Let me guess - you live in Norway and your Vitamin D levels are near zero. 

You have to be on several thousand IU per day year-round (plus Magnesium and K2.)

Edited April 14, 2022 by SeaMonster

[Kid A]

22 hours ago, something_else said:

If you got 40 dates in half a year you're doing something right and you have zero reason to be hopeless.

However you're also doing something catastrophically wrong if you've gone on 40 dates and they've gone nowhere. Frankly I have no idea how you could manage to go on 40 dates and not get laid on even 1 of them.... It seems like you'd actually have to actively try not to get laid in 1 out of 40 dates...

If a girl goes on a date with you it means she'd be willing to fuck you. Have you ever even tried to lead a girl to have sex on any of your dates? Women want to have sex. Women enjoy sex too. Women enjoy playful sexual conversation and flirting. Women enjoy it when you escalate. You shouldn't be scared of these things. But frankly the only reason I can think of that you haven't got laid out of 40 dates is that you're not even trying to have sex with the girl

This is pretty accurate. Sex was not the intention on most of the dates I’ve been on. I’ve heard that you should either have sex on the first or third date (home date), so I’ve mostly played it “safe” and chose the last option. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve also misinterpreted some theory completely and acted very cold and distant. This because of the fear of "acting too needy” that every coach/teacher keeps demonizing. I also heard one girl in a podcast say that she is attracted to a guy when he acts like he doesn’t want her. I’ve had that in the back of my mind on every date. Yet I really have tried to physically escalate on most of the dates. My absolutely worst have actually been with the very few girls who were willing to go on a second date. Since they were willing to do so, I took it for granted that they were attracted, so I would start with the most innocent leg flirting and then they would just pull their leg away like I was infected with something. You don’t know true frustration until you’ve experienced this!

Most of these 40 dates have been through Tinder, and they usually go far worse than the ones I’ve gained through pickup. Even though two of the three kisses I’ve had has been with girls from Tinder.

Edited April 14, 2022 by Kid A

[Kid A]

10 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

Let me guess - you live in Norway and your Vitamin D levels are near zero. 

You have to be on several thousand IU per day year-round (plus Magnesium and K2.)

I take my vitamins, so no problem there! It’s more that I have a voice in my head that keeps telling me that I’m an incel and I’m gonna be miserable afterwards anyway, so why bother suffering through this exhausting/boring stuff? One hell of a good point too. My worst days are usually the ones that start with a workout, for some reason.

[something_else]

36 minutes ago, Kid A said:

Most of these 40 dates have been through Tinder, and they usually go far worse than the ones I’ve gained through pickup. Even though two of the three kisses I’ve had has been with girls from Tinder.

Ah. Now we've found the source of the problem.

Dude first off you must be fucking good looking if you got 40 dates from Tinder in 6 months, I did alright on Tinder and I'm decent looking and tall, but I probably got about half that. Though I closed on about 90% of the Tinder dates I've gone on, and almost all of them were on the first date

But the problem is that most girls on Tinder are gonna want to fuck on the first date, or at least feel some sexual energy/desire from you. It's not exclusively a hookup app anymore but the crowd of girls it typically attracts are def gonna want you to be sexual pretty quick, if you're not they'll get bored or weirded out

It also sounds like you've been consuming a lot of theory. I would recommend you stop that and just try to follow your instincts a bit more for the time being. When you go on dates with girls, let yourself feel horny for them while you're sitting across the table from them. Literally look into her eyes and let her face and body turn you on. This brings you into the moment , and she'll feel the sexual energy from you without you even having to say anything to her. This puts you in the right frame of mind for a date, where you wanna be communicating man and woman

I would also recommend that you rely less on Tinder though. Like I said, I did alright too, but the quality of women there can sometimes be questionable. And I started to enjoy meeting girls in real life way way more. It also grows you a lot. I used Tinder as a crutch because I was kinda socially anxious which isn't great, even if you can actually get dates from Tinder

Edited April 14, 2022 by something_else

[Hardkill]

17 hours ago, something_else said:

Ah. Now we've found the source of the problem.

Dude first off you must be fucking good looking if you got 40 dates from Tinder in 6 months, I did alright on Tinder and I'm decent looking and tall, but I probably got about half that. Though I closed on about 90% of the Tinder dates I've gone on, and almost all of them were on the first date

But the problem is that most girls on Tinder are gonna want to fuck on the first date, or at least feel some sexual energy/desire from you. It's not exclusively a hookup app anymore but the crowd of girls it typically attracts are def gonna want you to be sexual pretty quick, if you're not they'll get bored or weirded out

It also sounds like you've been consuming a lot of theory. I would recommend you stop that and just try to follow your instincts a bit more for the time being. When you go on dates with girls, let yourself feel horny for them while you're sitting across the table from them. Literally look into her eyes and let her face and body turn you on. This brings you into the moment , and she'll feel the sexual energy from you without you even having to say anything to her. This puts you in the right frame of mind for a date, where you wanna be communicating man and woman

I would also recommend that you rely less on Tinder though. Like I said, I did alright too, but the quality of women there can sometimes be questionable. And I started to enjoy meeting girls in real life way way more. It also grows you a lot. I used Tinder as a crutch because I was kinda socially anxious which isn't great, even if you can actually get dates from Tinder

I agree with all of that.

He also definitely has got to a lot more work on physically escalating with the girl. When practice that a lot that really improved my chances of getting laid massively to the point where it only a matter of time before some chick would want to make out and fuck me. Eventually, that became one of the key things that got me laid with a number of girls. Considering how physically attractive his overall appearance must be given his great success with Tinder then he definitely has no reason to be afraid to be more sexually aggressive with a girl (without being too forceful or scaring her away).

 

[Kid A]

22 hours ago, something_else said:

 

22 hours ago, something_else said:

Dude first off you must be fucking good looking if you got 40 dates from Tinder in 6 months, I did alright on Tinder and I'm decent looking and tall, but I probably got about half that. 

It’s more like 20, and you don’t have to be good looking to have great pictures. I paid (way too much) for mine. I have a friend who’s become sort of a king of Tinder, and there’s nothing spectacular about his appearance. He even has a creepy moustache!

22 hours ago, something_else said:

It also sounds like you've been consuming a lot of theory. I would recommend you stop that and just try to follow your instincts a bit more for the time being. When you go on dates with girls, let yourself feel horny for them while you're sitting across the table from them. Literally look into her eyes and let her face and body turn you on. This brings you into the moment , and she'll feel the sexual energy from you without you even having to say anything to her. This puts you in the right frame of mind for a date, where you wanna be communicating man and woman

This could be the best dating advise I’ve ever gotten. It’s probably so obvious that no teacher thinks it’s worth mentioning, but I don’t think I’ve really done this even once…

[SamC]

I underdstand that this is really hard for you bro. Me, nor anyone else can understand fully and in total what you've been through but we are here for you. 

One thing I can say though is that I relate so much to the feeling that no woman wants to be with you. I know that it seems more like a truth because of the countless rejections over and over over again. For you that's not a feeling, that's reality. Atleast that's how it felt for me.

I know how painful it is to be rejected and totally humiliated and feel so devastatingly seperated from woman that it feels like no woman will ever want you. When it comes to this, ive experienced it all. I even visited what I thought was my twinflame while she was together with her boyfriend and sang an orginal love song I wrote to her while she made out with her BF. I ended that night by crying 3 hours strait while I headed back to my home in another town. I know how that feels bro! Another example is when I got rejected on my 18th birthday by my classmate and then having to pretend that I was fine to my parents, to then having to sneek up in the middle of the night to cry in the living room to not wake up my parents.

What I want to tell by this is that eventhough we or I may not fully understand your struggle, you are not alone in feeling like that.. and even more so, there is hope..

 I lost my virginity last weekend after years and years of failure, trials, blowouts and rejections. Eventhough you are where you are right now, it doesn't mean that you're gonna stay there. I was at the bottom litterly. No girl ever wanted me, they all just said eww, but now the reality is the reverse. It is possible man, you can do it.@Kid A

I belive in you, don't give up. 

Counterintuitively, the way you solve this issue is by integrating your feminie side/ anima. You are right now projecting your feminity onto other girls. That's why you belive they will complete you! 

Investigate the term anima possession and how to integrate your feminity. Good luck man! 

Edited April 15, 2022 by SamC

[RMQualtrough]

On 09/04/2022 at 3:10 PM, RendHeaven said:

Yeah I'm not surprised no girl wants you, the energy you give off (from just 1 paragraph of text!) is so depressing, I'm willing to bet my family's dog that IRL every woman you speak to feels that negativity but x1000 amplified.

Cope though, tbh.

[RMQualtrough]

On 10/04/2022 at 10:25 AM, Kid A said:

@Ulax

I’m not so sure I’m that traumatized. For most of my adult life I’ve lived in almost complete solitude. It worked rather well, and my life was pretty good until one and a half years ago when I started studying. There I was surrounded by girls again for the first time since high school and my old strong desires were awakened to life. For other reasons I quit the studies and went back to solitude last year, but then I became very miserable. It wasn’t until summer, when I was on the verge of suicide, that I was finally able to bite the bullet and be proactive about this problem for the first time in my life. Until then I always hoped that I would find someone through work/studies or social circle. I really despised the idea of pickup and online dating.

I do stage green activities too by the way.

Do you even want them tbh. Or do you just want sexual release... You probably don't even really enjoy getting close to people, if you genuinely wanted to be close with people you'd have friends and relationships... Probably you legit push people away on purpose - like your mind when you go on dates, you don't actually wanna become intimate with the person.

As we speak two people are randomly making out right beside me. They have bright white clean air force 1s. I have grimey myddy ones on. Feel like a knob.