How can I deal with a bad environment? - I fear that I'll give in to peer pressure

[Vision]

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Krishnamurti

It's almost a cultural norm in my school for people my age to be drinking alcohol and habitually partying.

When I first learned this, I was in disbelief, because my entire life I grew up thinking such things were taboo (my parents are religious) and seeing this be such a normalized thing for people at 15-17 years of age was a culture shock to me.

One person in particular even told me his parents go out of their way to buy alcohol for him whenever he asks. It felt like I was talking to a person on another planet.


I've always been the outcast out of my peers, and I was completely okay with that. I was always too busy working on my business and working towards my freedom to even consider drinking alcohol or partying. Our school had a yearly ball which I didn't attend because the opportunity cost of going there instead of working wasn't worth it to me. I've never attended any big invitations like that in general, and it paid off because I've built a mini nest egg now, but I can't do much with it because of my health (which is another topic).

I've never felt lonely. I've always just preferred solitude --- or being a "lone wolf" --- over hanging out with people I don't want to be around. Of course, if I find a group of like-minded people in person, that would be a dream come true. But the only like-minded "friends" (more like acquaintances) I'd found were other people online that were in the same space as my business.

I've always felt dragged down by quite literally everyone I know in person, which might sound condescending, but it's how I truly feel.

I have never had alcohol before, and I've never been to a party/club before. I've just never had the desire to live that "partying" type of lifestyle. I don't ever want to drink alcohol in my life, but with people asking me, "WTF YOU DON'T DRINK???", "Dude... you're never even going to try it???", it's a bit alienating.

I fear that I will give in to this type of peer pressure with how commonplace it is. I know that I will never want to talk to these people again once I graduate high school, but even my family's friends' kids are into this type of stuff; they just keep it a secret from their parents. It's the norm in the environment I'm in, but I don't want to be a part of this environment. Ideally I would just move to another country or area, but I feel trapped because my health problems have practically immobilized me, so until I resolve my health problems I'm going to have to put up with this environment, where I feel like I'm being constantly being dragged down by crabs in a bucket.

How can I overcome this downward pull from my environment? The only thing I can think of is putting all my focus on my own vision and goals, which is what I did previously and what I'm still trying to do with my main goal right now being to resolve my health. But even with that, I still have to inevitably still talk to these people because I'm still in high school. The library in my school is closed for the year so there's no spot for me to just be by myself. What can I do to mitigate the influence an undesirable environment has on me? 

I don't want to end up drinking or even trying alcohol from all this peer pressure, that's what I fear. I don't want to take the chance of getting addicted to it, which might be likely given that my ADHD makes me more prone to addictions. 

Edited April 8, 2022 by Vision

[Ajay0]

48 minutes ago, Vision said:

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Krishnamurti

It's almost a cultural norm in my school for people my age to be drinking alcohol and habitually partying.

When I first learned this, I was in disbelief, because my entire life I grew up thinking such things were taboo (my parents are religious) and seeing this be such a normalized thing for people at 15-17 years of age was a culture shock to me.

One person in particular even told me his parents go out of their way to buy alcohol for him whenever he asks. It felt like I was talking to a person on another planet.


I've always been the outcast out of my peers, and I was completely okay with that. I was always too busy working on my business and working towards my freedom to even consider drinking alcohol or partying. Our school had a yearly ball which I didn't attend because the opportunity cost of going there instead of working wasn't worth it to me. I've never attended any big invitations like that in general, and it paid off because I've built a mini nest egg now, but I can't do much with it because of my health (which is another topic).

I've never felt lonely. I've always just preferred solitude --- or being a "lone wolf" --- over hanging out with people I don't want to be around. Of course, if I find a group of like-minded people in person, that would be a dream come true. But the only like-minded "friends" (more like acquaintances) I'd found were other people online that were in the same space as my business.

I've always felt dragged down by quite literally everyone I know in person, which might sound condescending, but it's how I truly feel.

I have never had alcohol before, and I've never been to a party/club before. I've just never had the desire to live that "partying" type of lifestyle. I don't ever want to drink alcohol in my life, but with people asking me, "WTF YOU DON'T DRINK???", "Dude... you're never even going to try it???", it's a bit alienating.

I fear that I will give in to this type of peer pressure with how commonplace it is. I know that I will never want to talk to these people again once I graduate high school, but even my family's friends' kids are into this type of stuff; they just keep it a secret from their parents. It's the norm in the environment I'm in, but I don't want to be a part of this environment. Ideally I would just move to another country or area, but I feel trapped because my health problems have practically immobilized me, so until I resolve my health problems I'm going to have to put up with this environment, where I feel like I'm being constantly being dragged down by crabs in a bucket.

How can I overcome this downward pull from my environment? The only thing I can think of is putting all my focus on my own vision and goals, which is what I did previously and what I'm still trying to do with my main goal right now being to resolve my health. But even with that, I still have to inevitably still talk to these people because I'm still in high school. The library in my school is closed for the year so there's no spot for me to just be by myself. What can I do to mitigate the influence an undesirable environment has on me? 

I don't want to end up drinking or even trying alcohol from all this peer pressure, that's what I fear. I don't want to take the chance of getting addicted to it, which might be likely given that my ADHD makes me more prone to addictions. 

 

Environment is stronger than will power — Parmahansa Yogananda

 

 I would say it is important to modify your environment to keep your resolutions. If this is not possible, you can be creative and tactful.

For example , you can enroll in the gym or sports or martial arts classes or activities that peers find cool, and state that  you are a fitness fanatic, and hence don't take alcohol.

Alcohol actually causes a lot of harm to the body and brain. You can research these medical topics on alcohol and use it as reasons to stay away from alcohol.  Stating that medical research shows that alcohol creates brain damage is bound to discourage even the most pro-alcohol peers and supporters. This can also help create awareness on the dangers of alcohol and help people keep off from it.

 

https://www.who.int/health-topics/alcohol

https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/alcohol-and-the-brain

https://www.alcoholrehabguide.org/resources/medical-conditions/alcohol-related-brain-damage/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 8, 2022 by Ajay0

[OceanRiver]

@Vision Get out as soon as possible bra  . Environment is everything.

[Vision]

@Ajay0

On 08/04/2022 at 7:58 PM, Ajay0 said:

Alcohol actually causes a lot of harm to the body and brain. You can research these medical topics on alcohol and use it as reasons to stay away from alcohol.  Stating that medical research shows that alcohol creates brain damage is bound to discourage even the most pro-alcohol peers and supporters. This can also help create awareness on the dangers of alcohol and help people keep off from it.

 

https://www.who.int/health-topics/alcohol

https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/alcohol-and-the-brain

https://www.alcoholrehabguide.org/resources/medical-conditions/alcohol-related-brain-damage/

Thank you for sharing! Will read them now.

 

On 08/04/2022 at 7:58 PM, Ajay0 said:

For example , you can enroll in the gym or sports or martial arts classes or activities that peers find cool, and state that  you are a fitness fanatic, and hence don't take alcohol.

No one from my school goes to the gym I go to unfortunately. 

[itachi uchiha]

Read the book tiny habit by bj gogg and atomic habit by james clear to understand about habit

[Leo Gura]

I've been to bars and nightclubs 100s of times where everyone was drinking and never bought a single drink.

I've been offered weed for sex several times and turned it down.

It's easy to say no.

Just focus on your education and work and you will be out of high school before you know it.

[Yali]

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

weed for sex

weed for sex? A girl wanted to pay you for sex? @Leo Gura

[Phil King]

1 hour ago, Yali said:

weed for sex? A girl wanted to pay you for sex? @Leo Gura

I think he meant he was offered weed before sex since weed a beast aphrodisiac

[Focus]

5 hours ago, Phil King said:

I think he meant he was offered weed before sex since weed a beast aphrodisiac

weed for sex 

 

[Dryas]

I mean, you can also consider loosening up a little and join in on the fun to some degree

 

[Vision]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I've been to bars and nightclubs 100s of times where everyone was drinking and never bought a single drink.

I've been offered weed for sex several times and turned it down.

It's easy to say no.

Just focus on your education and work and you will be out of high school before you know it.

@Leo Gura Maybe it is easy to say no. But I feel like I'm being dragged down when I'm around such people. It feels like I am being anti-mentored; being mentored but it's making my life worse rather than better.

I just came up with that term on the fly but I hope it makes sense. 

I've obviously never been to bars and nightclubs before but I fear that, if I ever do, I'll give in and just say "F*ck it, you only live once" and then drown in hedonism. 

Have you ever had alcohol before? 

 

5 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

environment is one of the most important factors imo. a lot of things build and depend on that. if you can secure a better environment it will be a lot easier to do everything else. its worth it to work extra hard to move out but if you cant then just make the best of where u are 

@Twentyfirst That's the point of my post. I want to know how I can make the best of where I currently am. I still have a lot of time left in high school and there's not much I can do to control that. 

 

5 hours ago, Dryas said:

I mean, you can also consider loosening up a little and join in on the fun to some degree

 

@Dryas F*ck no. I'm telling you, as someone with ADHD, I'm much more prone to addictions. I used to not be able to go 2 weeks without masturbating, and all it would take for me to fall into the addiction again is to masturbate once a day for 2-3 days. That's how thin the line I'm walking on is. 

[Mada_]

15 hours ago, Yali said:

weed for sex? A girl wanted to pay you for sex? @Leo Gura

A girl asked me to buy her McDonalds in return for sex. 

[Kshantivadin]

2 hours ago, Vision said:

F*ck no. I'm telling you, as someone with ADHD, I'm much more prone to addictions. I used to not be able to go 2 weeks without masturbating, and all it would take for me to fall into the addiction again is to masturbate once a day for 2-3 days. That's how thin the line I'm walking on is. 

I feel you on this bro. I'm one coffee away from being addicted again. It used to be like that with cigs as well.

[Kshantivadin]

On 4/8/2022 at 9:26 AM, Vision said:

I have never had alcohol before, and I've never been to a party/club before. I've just never had the desire to live that "partying" type of lifestyle. I don't ever want to drink alcohol in my life, but with people asking me, "WTF YOU DON'T DRINK???", "Dude... you're never even going to try it???", it's a bit alienating.

Growing a strong backbone is the solution this. Fuck 'em.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Vision said:

Maybe it is easy to say no. But I feel like I'm being dragged down when I'm around such people. It feels like I am being anti-mentored; being mentored but it's making my life worse rather than better.

I just came up with that term on the fly but I hope it makes sense. 

It makes sense. But most high school kids are idiots, so don't expect them to mentor you.

Quote

Have you ever had alcohol before? 

Yes

[Tudo]

6 hours ago, Mada_ said:

A girl asked me to buy her McDonalds in return for sex. 

Weird

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Alcohol and smoking is so overrated. I've tried a variety and I don't see the appeal.

Is it my consciousness? Who knows.

Maybe such pleasures are more appealing the lower conscious you are.

Edited April 10, 2022 by Husseinisdoingfine

[vizual]

Make your own moves in life, because if you don’t other people will make them for you.