Lost....

[Illusory Self]

I debated whether to make this post or not as I feel like I most likely know what answers I will get. At the same time it could be good to get a different perspective on things. Maybe being part of a community could help as I don't really vocalize what I am thinking to others. 

The main issue that I am facing in my life is having no direction or sense of LP, even after taking Leo's course. I think it mainly down to a lack of life experience. It's almost like I do not know where to start that I feel totally overwhelmed. Bad financial situation, bad at dating, no LP. I feel a lack of enjoyment in everything I do in life. Like i'm constantly trying to escape how I feel.

My mind says "I need to change", "tomorrow will be a new day", but that never happens. I am honestly in a rut. Most days consist of me just constantly on my phone doing nothing, & feeling incredibly tired. It's probably because I don't know where I should be heading. I feel like I can't really talk to most people about my situation because they don't really understand. 

I currently have a lot of free time, can work part time on my Dad's business (doing SEO/digital marketing) but I find it incredibly unfulfilling. 

My living situation is not the best, currently living with my grandmother & basically have all my family around me. Ideally I would like to live by myself. I find it really suffocating right now, even though they all love me. I don't feel like I have much of a sense of identity. 

It just feels like everything is way to overwhelming to cope with & I don't know where to begin. Ideally I just want to live by myself & doing spiritual work, ocassionaly talking to my family. I just get afraid of choosing the wrong thing for my LP, I don't really want to choose something purely for money because eventually I will just give that up. I think a lot of internal pressure is put on myself to figuring out what I want to do. 

As everyday seems to mostly be the same, I thought I would post this to see if I could get any feedback on changing my situation. I do contemplate on what my future could look like but cannot seem to come up with any answers.

[Yarco]

I would go back to your childhood and look at what you were passionate about as a kid for clues.

A lot of people can relate to feeling like they have no purpose or interests I think. Most people have their passions and sense of purpose beaten out of them by teachers and parents by around age 12/13. Definitely in high school when you have to start thinking of realistic and practical jobs. If your parents discouraged any potential career paths at that point as unrealistic or not a way to make money, look at that. My LP was one of those things.

Think back to around age 8 (if you can remember back that far) up to about age 16. What kind of stuff would you do to pass the time if just left alone to your own devices? What kind of stuff interested you, and you wanted to learn about even if nobody was forcing you? What stuff did you seek out on your own? Are there specific projects in school that you can remember actually enjoying working on?

Edited April 6, 2022 by Yarco

[Terell Kirby]

5 hours ago, Illusory Self said:

The main issue that I am facing in my life is having no direction or sense of LP, even after taking Leo's course.

It's hard believe you were unable to at least get clearer about your LP after taking the course.

You may know in your heart what you want to do in life, but limiting beliefs and negativity are standing in your way. Most likely due to having low self esteem. 

My advice is to focus on the things you can change, as quick as tomorrow. This could be a behavior, mindset .. something. Get in the habit of taking action .. in this work, you have to prove to that negative voice in your head that it is not right about many things. You can only do this through taking action.

[Ninja_pig]

I was just about to make a post like this. I hope you find an answer.

I feel as though my life situation is actually pretty good right now. I can't complain.

However, I feel as though I have no direction, nothing to care about. I want to care deeply about something, but I haven't found something I think is worth caring about. I want to work hard to get somewhere, but I don't know where that place is.

That being said, I think I might know some things that might help you.

On 4/6/2022 at 7:49 AM, Illusory Self said:

I think it mainly down to a lack of life experience.

One thing that I think you could do is read books! Sci-Fi books in particular. Reading books will help alleviate that problem of lack of experience. I mean, it's not exactly real world experience, but they will make you feel less dull and will give you something for your mind to think about. Reading books and watching (a select few high-quality) movies, these things connect you to who you really are and make you want to be a better person.

Elon Musk (probably one of the most purpose-driven people in the world), when asked what he would recommend young people do who want to make the world better, is to read broadly. He says that skimming through the condensed version of the Encyclopædia Britannica is something that helped him gain a wide breadth of knowledge, and is something he recommends to other people. His other book recommendations include:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
• The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
• The "Foundation" series by  Isaac Asimov

My personal recommendations are:

• Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow by Orson Scott Card
• The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
• Red Rising by Pierce Brown
• The Fifth Science by Exurb1a
• Dune by Frank Herbert

Some movie recommendations:

• Dune (the new one)
• The Shawshank Redemption
• The Godfather (my favorite)
• The Godfather part II
• Schindler's List
• Inception

Leo has lots of good books on his book list too. I would recommend buying it and reading anything rated 5 stars.

Of course, read anything that interests you. Anything. Fiction or non-fiction. It's worth your time.

Reading any one of these recommendations will help you become more who you are and more purposeful. They will help you gain what it is that you are missing. They will inspire you. They highlight the hero's journey. If reading is work for you, listen to the books.

On 4/6/2022 at 7:49 AM, Illusory Self said:

I currently have a lot of free time, can work part time on my Dad's business (doing SEO/digital marketing) but I find it incredibly unfulfilling. 

Another thing I would recommend is to care about your job. Do your best. I assure you that any job no matter what it is can be fulfilling if you put your heart into it. Be the best god damn SEO guy you can possibly be. Think of new ways you can get costumers rolling in. Dive deep into the core principals of marketing and stick to those. Find ways you can lead, help others, and take initiative. Be an inspiration to others in the field. Show your dad that you care. This doesn't have to be THE purpose of your life, but it can be A purpose, at least for a while.

Another thing you could do is to take shrooms. It won't solve any of your problems, but it will remind you of what being a child is like and teach you how to love yourself again. Take like 4 grams, or however much you can take without throwing up. Make sure you have someone you TRUST COMPLETELY there when you do it. You can buy these things on the dark web for like 40 bucks, or just grow them from spores you can buy on amazon. There are extensive guides for this on the internet. 

On 4/6/2022 at 7:49 AM, Illusory Self said:

It just feels like everything is way to overwhelming to cope with & I don't know where to begin. Ideally I just want to live by myself & doing spiritual work, ocassionaly talking to my family. I just get afraid of choosing the wrong thing for my LP, I don't really want to choose something purely for money because eventually I will just give that up.

Look. You don't have to know exactly the right thing to do all the time to have a purposeful life. Just do your best with what you have. I this may be a controversial opinion on this forum, but I don't think you have a life purpose. It is your choice whether or not you care about something. If you peruse something for 5 years and then decide that you don't want to do it anymore, that is not life wasted. That is life LIVED. That is how it is supposed to be. Go towards SOMETHING that feels right AT THE TIME. You don't have to grow up all at once. One day, you may find something by accident that just grabs you, and because you will not be worried about whether or not it is your actual purpose, you will peruse it; And unexpectedly, it will turn out that this is indeed your purpose.

Maybe your first step forward could be living alone. This will take resourcefulness, hard work, and will throw you from your nest. This will all make you feel ALIVE.

Maybe join a martial arts studio? Start playing guitar? These things helped me. IDK if they will help you.

On 4/6/2022 at 7:49 AM, Illusory Self said:

Most days consist of me just constantly on my phone doing nothing, & feeling incredibly tired.

Last thing. Ditch your phone. Seriously. Get a flip phone. Your mind will say "but the utility and what if I miss out on this or that blah blah blah". Tell that voice to go find the biggest, juiciest, vainest big black cock and swallow it down to its stomach because you know it is just not worth it. You can function just fine with out it. Trust me. These things are cancer.

By writing all this it has helped me answer my own question quite well. Thank you for posting this! Tell me what you think about what I said!

Edited April 8, 2022 by Ninja_pig

[Lenny]

@Illusory Self I'd like to give you a simple thing you can employ. Also, if you have a sense of "running away from it all" or thoughts of "I want to change this" or "I can't do this, if I haven't first done this", then consider another idea/approach: turning toward your situation and meeting it will acceptance and love. From what you said, It seems that you are in a very loving home, this is a great opportunity to grow (not that growth equates to what you are, or that growth will get you closer to what you already are).

As for the "simple thing" I mentioned that you can do: add some meditation to your routine. The type of meditation you can employ is awareness meditation, a.k.a observer meditation, a.k.a transcendental meditation. This is how you do it: sit quietly somewhere (doesn't matter how you sit, just sit comfortably), try your best to "watch" all thought forms that arise (all thoughts) without judgement or desire to change them.
The stream of thoughts could be as follows (with action met): "I can't be here" (watch thought arise and leave), "I can hear everyone in the house" (watch thought arise and leave), "this isn't working" (watch thought arise and leave), "this arising and leaving thing I'm doing isn't working" (watch thought arise and leave), "no, but really, it won't work" (watch thought arise and leave), "maybe this could work" (watch thought arise and leave), "maybe I could stay, maybe I don't need to change anything" (watch thought arise and leave). Continue this for the time that you have allocated for the meditation in a "insert any thought here" fashion. 

I am 35 and I understand that it is alright to feel lost. If I entertain these types of concepts/thoughts/beliefs I can easily feel lost too. Feeling lost is a great opportunity in itself. It allows us to take a closer look at what's going on. Now, nothing may need to be done, but just having the awareness of feeling lost can be enough to get in touch with your Being. 

I hope this helps  

Love from Lenny.

 

[flowboy]

On 06/04/2022 at 3:49 PM, Illusory Self said:

The main issue that I am facing in my life is having no direction or sense of LP, even after taking Leo's course. I think it mainly down to a lack of life experience.

It could very well be a lack of life experience. I would trust my intuition on that.

On 06/04/2022 at 3:49 PM, Illusory Self said:

I just get afraid of choosing the wrong thing for my LP, I don't really want to choose something purely for money because eventually I will just give that up. I think a lot of internal pressure is put on myself to figuring out what I want to do. 

Ah, I see where you'd get stuck that way.

Choices are hard when you have the expectation that they should last forever. Or that they should be "right".

Or that they can be "wrong".

There are no wrong choices. Everything is learning.

And when you get sick enough of stagnating, you'll find yourself making choices.

Those choices will get you the life experience you need, in order to learn what you want and don't want.

Almost everyone who found a purpose, got their start by choosing a bunch of things that turned out to be "not it".

So did Leo. So did I. So did everyone.

What would have happened if Leo had expected himself to come up with his ultimate life purpose straight out of college, and put pressure on himself to choose the 100% forever "right thing" from his couch, before trying a bunch of things?

He'd still be on that couch.

The path is choosing what feels right, without overthinking it, because all we can do is work with the information that we have, and then when it turns out to not be right, we pivot to something else.

You can not steer a parked car.

It has to be set in motion first.