The Blame Game as Distraction.

[Realms of Wonder]

Who knows how deep the game goes. But the tip of it is clear, I blame others, put others in negative light, speculate and make assumptions. its mostly unconscious, like a deep OS running in the background, rarely do I vocalize it, yet it remains.

 

Why do I focus on others, instead of inwards?

Why do I speculate about others?

Why do I distract myself?

 

WHY?

 

so I don't face myself, to avoid my creative work, to avoid solitude, to avoid the PRACTICE.

 

I wonder how deep it goes...

[itachi uchiha]

Take 100% responsibilty for things.with practice u can do it

[Vincent S]

3 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Why do I focus on others, instead of inwards?

What if there were no distinction between "other" and "you"?
What if it all is one happening?

Both are the same thing. Blaming others, is blaming yourself. Blaming yourself is blaming "others".
Both of these are the same game.
Look at it from the observers perspective in each situation.
Like watching a movie on a screen, and seeing two characters, or one, going through their process/life. Blaming themselves or others.
Its still the same, because its happening on one screen. The screen is switching pov's all the time. Catching everything and from every angle.

But the observer itself is another self
Its all a game of switching perspectives and maximizing Love, Understanding and Growth.

[OceanRiver]

@Realms of Wonder at the end of the day its just self awareness

we become aware of how we see the world

we become aware of how we see others

we become aware of how we see ourselves

we become aware of how all of this is possible and then how to create that possible while being aware of limitations here too

outside this its just how we see something true or not

we take too much responsibility in truth and not enough responsibility in seeing how we see something as true or not by focusing more instead on the awareness that creates and becomes aware of its creation

Edited April 4, 2022 by OceanRiver

[Eph75]

@Realms of Wonder

Why?

Simple, to avoid deconstruction of the ego.

It's a defence mechanism to maintain ego - and to grow it stronger. 

Just imagine starting to find explanations why what we see as being desired outcomes not being reached, being within ourselves?

We'd require ourselves to adjusting our attitudes, values and beliefs?

Who knows where that ends. There'd be nothing left of "me" if starting out on that slippery slope. 

As already mentioned, 100% responsibility is the road. 

You could start with reading The Responsibility Process by Christopher Avery. 

This is closely connected to realizing that the world is a product of how we see it, and not something objectively defined of its own.

And assuming responsibility dramatically, and quickly, changes the world as we see it, and the world as we experience it.

That's the hard way forward. 

The easy way is stagnation, maintaining current world views.

Blaming and justifying effectively pushes anything that we don't like away from us, onto others, so that we don't need to assume any responsibility to influence by changing ourselves. 

That's essentially it, we can't change others, we can only change ourselves. And by changing ourselves, others MIGHT change themselves as a by-product, but there are no guarantees.

This is a great stepping-stone towards developing complexity of one's sense-making, and to expand into multi-perspectival thinking. 

Edited April 4, 2022 by Eph75

[Realms of Wonder]

17 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

Take 100% responsibilty for things.with practice u can do it

easy to say, difficult to practice. but I agree.

[Realms of Wonder]

15 hours ago, Vincent S said:

What if there were no distinction between "other" and "you"?
What if it all is one happening?

Both are the same thing. Blaming others, is blaming yourself. Blaming yourself is blaming "others".
Both of these are the same game.
Look at it from the observers perspective in each situation.
Like watching a movie on a screen, and seeing two characters, or one, going through their process/life. Blaming themselves or others.
Its still the same, because its happening on one screen. The screen is switching pov's all the time. Catching everything and from every angle.

But the observer itself is another self
Its all a game of switching perspectives and maximizing Love, Understanding and Growth.

'tis beyond my current level of being. Believing this wont help, maybe after years of practice I can EXPERIENCE what you are pointing to  

 

Thanks for our input.

[itachi uchiha]

1 hour ago, Realms of Wonder said:

easy to say, difficult to practice. but I agree.

Yup

But after years of practice i can do it now 

U can also do it .dont give up.

Edited April 4, 2022 by itachi uchiha

[ZzzleepingBear]

I believe it has to do with seeking relief from the inevitable responsibility that thoughts unconsciously tend to carry with them. I don't think the thoughts themselves necessarily are the imagined problem we believe them to be. But rather that a belief about thoughts as rooted in some deep founded truth could be a big influence on how tohughts could be seen as THE problem, since we can have feeling attached to what we think alot of times regardless of wheter what we think, may be true or not. Alot of negative thoughts is our auto generated head noises that often get a truth pass since we have a general idea that thoughts are a problem solving kit.

[Realms of Wonder]

22 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

Yup

But after years of practice i can do it now 

U can also do it .dont give up.

You take 100% responsibility for everything?

 

How has it changed your life?

[Realms of Wonder]

6 hours ago, ZzzleepingBear said:

I believe it has to do with seeking relief from the inevitable responsibility that thoughts unconsciously tend to carry with them. I don't think the thoughts themselves necessarily are the imagined problem we believe them to be. But rather that a belief about thoughts as rooted in some deep founded truth could be a big influence on how tohughts could be seen as THE problem, since we can have feeling attached to what we think alot of times regardless of wheter what we think, may be true or not. Alot of negative thoughts is our auto generated head noises that often get a truth pass since we have a general idea that thoughts are a problem solving kit.

Interesting way of looking at it!

 

If I am reading this correct, our mind takes the "Head noise" as truth, instead of dismissing them as just thoughts? Or are you trying to say something else?

[ZzzleepingBear]

9 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Interesting way of looking at it!

 

If I am reading this correct, our mind takes the "Head noise" as truth, instead of dismissing them as just thoughts? Or are you trying to say something else?

Yep that's it, you got it!

To add to that, we basically try to solve all problems with the same (thinking) tool that alot of times also create the problems in the firstplace. So it can become a circular reasoning due to how much reliance we give to thinking our way out of a problem. And complaining stil holds us hostage to that potential self judgement that we try to free our selfs from, by trying to justify our complaints as truth.

We certainly do have the right to judge and complain as much as we want, but the cost will always be a equivalent portion of our inner peace of mind, in relation to our level of disturbance that we feel is justified. No matter wheter we are aware of that cost or not.

Edited April 6, 2022 by ZzzleepingBear