Women challenges in dating

[mamad]

As a guy I mostly struggle with approach anxiety, not being too needy , sex performance and trying to be more protective.

What are the most things that you women are struggling with in the field of dating and relationships?

What are your challenges?

[K Ghoul]

All girls are one night stand girls. Have to really struggle with myself to not be one.

[Preety_India]

Security, rape, violence, stalking, fuckboys, incompatibility, needy guys, obsession, control issues, casual sex requests, (fear of being broken hearted after giving over trust to a man by being emotionally involved with him), having to deal with players. 

Insecurity of getting bonded and dumped. Abandonment, fear of being cheated on. 

 

 

[Federico del pueblo]

41 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

All girls are one night stand girls.

Did you learn this from a bald man? ?

[K Ghoul]

8 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Did you learn this from a bald man? ?

Yep 

[Gesundheit2]

They have plenty of men to pick one from.

[INCELLED]

[puporing]

Finding men who are okay with loving multiple women if it happened to them. 

[K Ghoul]

“All girls are one night stand girls”

”Struggling to find a man who can love multiple women”

 

[puporing]

Sometimes in your life, you may not want to be in a monogamous situation and just want to have some fun. Whereas most people that's not where their minds are at and it becomes this suffocating thing when you just want to have a good time in the moment. Men are often pretty good with just having some fun and not something too serious/long term, but they don't allow women to do the same when a woman wants that, so it is a real struggle.

Maybe I just need to hit Vegas soon rofl.

Edited April 1, 2022 by puporing

[Federico del pueblo]

9 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Oh really? Considered you to be pretty conservative.

I think she was being sarcastic ?

[Razard86]

7 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Security, rape, violence, stalking, fuckboys, incompatibility, needy guys, obsession, control issues, casual sex requests, (fear of being broken hearted after giving over trust to a man by being emotionally involved with him), having to deal with players. 

Insecurity of getting bonded and dumped. Abandonment, fear of being cheated on. 

 

 

Question: When you say fear of being broken hearted after giving over trust to a man by being emotionally involved with him, and insecurity of getting bonded and dumped......are you talking about a close emotional relationship? Or a sexual relationship? I'm curious as a man since we tend to as men to value physical intimacy a lot. I have noticed women value emotional intimacy more on average than men. 

[Razard86]

11 minutes ago, Gianna said:

I love this question. My struggles have been this: guys can’t see past their dicks, their logic, and their ‘investments’. What I mean by that last one is that mostly everything they do is for something in return— even if it’s just spending time with you (they expect sex for it). So they never actually do something for the genuine sake of doing of it, but are always in their mind about what it will get them. It’s EXTREMELY extremely difficult to a guy to see past his expectations and to get them squarely in the present moment and out of their minds. In other words, they’re not fully and genuinely there with you (connected to you), they can’t truly see you (because they can’t see past their dicks), and they never actually believe in you because they only believe themselves (their own logic, ideas, experiences, etc.). It’s extremely annoying and frustrating.  

Check these links out. I intend to really study these links I'm giving because I believe they do a good job of showing why Men and Women struggle in the modern world to get along.

https://www.meditatecenter.com/what-is-masculine-energy/

https://www.meditatecenter.com/feminine-energy-integrate/

When the energies out of balance they look like this

https://www.meditatecenter.com/mock-masculine-mock-feminine/

And the proper complimentary way they cooperate or dance with each other.

https://www.meditatecenter.com/inner-marriage-of-masculine-and-feminine-aspects/

[puporing]

8 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Wait, you want a relationship where you sleep around, or where the guy sleeps around? Now you got me confused lol

Both are allowed to. I'm referring to a different way of living/relating than what we have at this point in time - for society as a whole to change where men and women are allowed freedom to be themselves and communicate their desires/wishes and be the responsible and sole agents of their lives without shame/guilt - which can mean anything, that loving someone is not conditional upon seeing someone everyday/week, living together or apart, how many partners you are 'in love with' at a given time.  

[Razard86]

9 minutes ago, puporing said:

Both are allowed to. I'm referring to a different way of living/relating than what we have at this point in time - for society as a whole to change where men and women are allowed freedom to be themselves and communicate their desires/wishes and be the responsible and sole agents of their lives without shame/guilt - which can mean anything, that loving someone is not conditional upon seeing someone everyday/week, living together or apart, how many partners you are 'in love with' at a given time.  

This is already happening anyway. Modern Men and Women, especially the women have been raised to "have their own space." Most modern humans of the opposite sex can't even live together without getting annoyed with each other. There were a lot of COVID divorces.

[Spence94]

@puporing Or maybe people could learn to understand that their attraction for others is natural even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Just because there is a desire and attraction whilst in a relationship doesn't mean we should live in a world where everyone is free to just follow that impulse for 'fun'. Men can be pretty committed when in a relationship, just like women can. 

I agree women are more shamed for having fun and sleeping around, but you make it sound like men are freely allowed to sleep around with other people outside of their relationship  when women aren't... and even if men are less shamed for that act, it doesn't mean it would be healthy for both men and women to be able to freely act on their desire for 'fun' outside of a monogamous relationship.

I don't think this utopian idea of free love and sex would actually work for most people and society.

Open relationships have a place, and if the two people decide on it then fine, that's okay, but they're not for everyone and neither should they be.

Monogamy still has value in an evolved and concious society, and would actually be the better option for a lot of people, IMO. 

This 'monogamy and marriage is outdated and doesn't work' idea that is becoming more popular nowadays is a very black and white way to look at it.

High divorce rates are not happening because we need to be allowed to sleep around outside of relationships, high divorce rates are happening because people are not psychologically mature and don't understand or embody healthy attraction and communication in relationships. Which is a problem for both men and women.

Anyway, rant over.

Peace.

Edited April 2, 2022 by Spence94

[puporing]

@Spence94 You create the world you want to see. Right now people are not at the place where they want what I describe and that's fine I don't expect to see this in my life-time, it's more of a vision I would like to see and feels good to see so I put it out there sometimes, it's like my dreamboard.   

I am not saying "open relationships" should be the norm, I am saying that they should be part of the "norm".

I want people to be how they want to be that's most true to them (eg, so they can def still be monogamous) and an environment conducive to individuality and true "self-expression".

What is true now is that lots and lots of people (I'm not talking about those that are happily together though I recognize this is subjective what happiness is) operate on fear of being alone/abandonment/financial deprivation/inadequacy to name a few to stay in their restrictive 'monogamous relationships' even though some clearly want to express/experience love outside as well and the current environment is very limited/not-accepting for this kind of way of being. Or they could be happily together but still desire to be with others, there are just so many possibilities that are not part of the narrative right now.

Edited April 2, 2022 by puporing

[Spence94]

@puporing Yeah I see what you're saying. While I was writing I just starting thinking about this attitude I keep seeing amongst the younger generations right now around marriage, monogamy and sexual and personal freedoms that seems like they're 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater,' and not seeing the wider perspective. So excuse me, I wasn't ranting directly at you.

I agree though, a world where all the possibilities are given and accepted amongst the collective narrative would be the ideal situation. The process to actually create that in the world would be extremely difficult and won't happen anytime soon. Especially as we still live in a world with borders and nationalities  that are at different stages of collective development  and that divide and create separate unique narratives around relationships and sex.

 

Edited April 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, Spence94 said:

@puporing Or maybe people could learn to understand that their attraction for others is natural even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Just because there is a desire and attraction whilst in a relationship doesn't mean we should live in a world where everyone is free to just follow that impulse for 'fun'. Men can be pretty committed when in a relationship, just like women can. 

I agree women are more shamed for having fun and sleeping around, but you make it sound like men are freely allowed to sleep around with other people outside of their relationship  when women aren't... and even if men are less shamed for that act, it doesn't mean it would be healthy for both men and women to be able to freely act on their desire for 'fun' outside of a monogamous relationship.

I don't think this utopian idea of free love and sex would actually work for most people and society.

Open relationships have a place, and if the two people decide on it then fine, that's okay, but they're not for everyone and neither should they be.

Monogamy still has value in an evolved and concious society, and would actually be the better option for a lot of people, IMO. 

This 'monogamy and marriage is outdated and doesn't work' idea that is becoming more popular nowadays is a very black and white way to look at it.

High divorce rates are not happening because we need to be allowed to sleep around outside of relationships, high divorce rates are happening because people are not psychologically mature and don't understand or embody healthy attraction and communication in relationships. Which is a problem for both men and women.

Anyway, rant over.

Peace.

Monogamy is a very short lived marriage strategy. It isn't even the oldest form of marriage. Watch this video. You believe in monogamy because you grew up in a society where it was normalized. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSryUdxvloM

I prefer monogamy by the way....I just realize I only like it because of my social conditioning.

Edited April 2, 2022 by Razard86

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, puporing said:

@Spence94 You create the world you want to see. Right now people are not at the place where they want what I describe and that's fine I don't expect to see this in my life-time, it's more of a vision I would like to see and feels good to see so I put it out there sometimes, it's like my dreamboard.   

I am not saying "open relationships" should be the norm, I am saying that they should be part of the "norm".

I want people to be how they want to be that's most true to them (eg, so they can def still be monogamous) and an environment conducive to individuality and true "self-expression".

What is true now is that lots and lots of people (I'm not talking about those that are happily together though I recognize this is subjective what happiness is) operate on fear of being alone/abandonment/financial deprivation/inadequacy to name a few to stay in their restrictive 'monogamous relationships' even though some clearly want to express/experience love outside as well and the current environment is very limited/not-accepting for this kind of way of being. Or they could be happily together but still desire to be with others, there are just so many possibilities that are not part of the narrative right now.

Everything you said I agree with. The TRUTH is, people are just too selfish right now to be in an open relationship. I actually think done right open relationships are probably the most healthy. Leo did a video once talking about Gender and made some surprising remarks that speak to what you say.

I believe though that when the collective consciousness of humanity reached heights not seen, monogamy will fade away. Wonder how many thousands of years that will take.

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, Spence94 said:

@puporing Yeah I see what you're saying. While I was writing I just starting thinking about this attitude I keep seeing amongst the younger generations right now around marriage, monogamy and sexual and personal freedoms that seems like they're 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater,' and not seeing the wider perspective. So excuse me, I wasn't ranting directly at you.

I agree though, a world where all the possibilities are given and accepted amongst the collective narrative would be the ideal situation. The process to actually create that in the world would be extremely difficult and won't happen anytime soon. Especially as we still live in a world with borders and nationalities  that are at different stages of collective development  and that divide and create separate unique narratives around relationships and sex.

 

Completely agree. Great post!!!