Breaking up with myself

[Tyler Durden]

I know that the title might sound strange but I want to analyse the process of break up from a spiritual perspective.

My girlfriend has been very critical of our relationship lately and I think it will lead to break up really soon. I also understand that she is actually me so that means I'm breaking up with myself. That fact has me thinking.

What is the deeper meaning of that? Is that a way in which I send a message to myself to become a better person in the future? Am I trying to improve myself?

[Razard86]

2 minutes ago, Tyler Durden said:

I know that the title might sound strange but I want to analyse the process of break up from a spiritual perspective.

My girlfriend has been very critical of our relationship lately and I think it will lead to break up really soon. I also understand that she is actually me so that means I'm breaking up with myself. That fact has me thinking.

What is the deeper meaning of that? Is that a way in which I send a message to myself to become a better person in the future? Am I trying to improve myself?

One of the best ways to look at it is through the multiple personality disorder or dissociative personality disorder. We are basically Universal mind with dissociative personalities. Since we are not "aware" that we are just different partitions of the same mind, we experience each other as separate at lower consciousness. 

The Budha was rejected, Jesus was rejected, I could go on and on..... you being rejected does not mean that something is wrong. The failure of ALL RELATIONSHIPS comes from what you posted in your title. Breaking up with YOU. 

So in one sense you are right, you have broken up with yourself so you will break up with her. But even if you had completely loved and accepted all your parts, if she has not done the same....the break up will still happen. This is why they say the greatest test for spiritual growth is intimate relationships because BOTH individuals have to learn to accept themselves FIRST before they can truly accept their partner. If they can learn to accept each other unconditionally then they will both truly become "ONE." But these types of relationships are VERY rare.

[Terell Kirby]

Hmm .. may be good to acknowledge that looking at certain life situations from a God perspective may do more harm than good … in a relative sense.

If you care about your relationship, I would throw all of this metaphysical stuff out of the window. You most likely will suffer once a breakup happens, unless you’ve completely  transcended your attachments to your gf .. which I highly doubt.

[PepperBlossoms]

From my perspective, if I am upset with something, I can either change my perspective/understanding so that it is no longer upsetting, change whatever the action is that is so that whatever was making it upsetting to me is no longer happening, increase my capacity to handle upsetting things, or leave the relationship as another option for me to get away from the upsetting.

I could also be saying I am upset about the relationship but I am kinda upset about something else and using the relationship as the scapegoat.  I could be operating in black or white thinking and right now I have amnesia and have forgotten the good stuff and am hyper-focusing on the bad stuff and forgetting nuance.

Spiritually, if everything is me, then I am just doing some moving stuff around, which I do constantly anyway like as my fingers move on the keyboard or food moves through my stomach or ideas change from one thing to another. 

From my perspective, breakups are really hard and I feel sad for the potential loss and don't want to let go and want to salvage it but also understand everyone has their own situation, needs, etc. and that the present form of me is temporary and is subject to various changes all the time, some of them very hard.

[Sad Panda]

That makes me a sad panda. 

When one panda breaks up with an other panda, it could be an opportunity for spiritual panda growth.

You have the opportunity to get in touch with a whole new side of your panda self.

[DanielS]

1 hour ago, Terell Kirby said:

Hmm .. may be good to acknowledge that looking at certain life situations from a God perspective may do more harm than good … in a relative sense.

If you care about your relationship, I would throw all of this metaphysical stuff out of the window. You most likely will suffer once a breakup happens, unless you’ve completely  transcended your attachments to your gf .. which I highly doubt.

Suffering is the point.

But you can realize Suffering is good. Its there for a reason. 

Avoiding suffering is like not going to the doctor if your leg is broken.

 

Edited March 31, 2022 by DanielS

[Focus]

So when you used to do your girl you used to do yourself? How did that feel?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5qdBMIaS_c

[Inliytened1]

10 hours ago, Tyler Durden said:

I know that the title might sound strange but I want to analyse the process of break up from a spiritual perspective.

My girlfriend has been very critical of our relationship lately and I think it will lead to break up really soon. I also understand that she is actually me so that means I'm breaking up with myself. That fact has me thinking.

What is the deeper meaning of that? Is that a way in which I send a message to myself to become a better person in the future? Am I trying to improve myself?

In what ways is she critical?  Yes there are always higher powers at work (its your dream as Infinity) but can you expand a little ?  You don't want to live your life from the Absolute perspective either - meaning if you go through life from the standpoint that everything is you, then your missing the trees from the forest.

[Razard86]

51 minutes ago, Focus said:

So when you used to do your girl you used to do yourself? How did that feel?

You can recognize this in your experience. If I injected you with a pain killer that made your whole body feel numb. No matter how much grinding and thrusting you did in sex you wouldn't really feel anything. What reality really is...would scare you. You are just operating with images in your mind in 3 dimensional space and every time you "touch" them you create the sensation. So if you lose all sensation of touch....you cannot FEEL anything in sex. So it was never the person who was giving you the pleasure...it was YOU!!!! This is why when people have strong emotional attachments for someone sex FEELS better and they attribute it to the person. Again its not the person it was YOU!!!

This is a NON-SPIRITUAL explanation I just gave you. You are creator of EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE EVER HAD. You ONLY EXPERIENCE YOURSELF.

[Tyler Durden]

@Focus It feels different than masturbation. It really seems like you're doing it with another person and not yourself.

@Razard86 Great explanation. But illusion is so good that you forget that it's all you while it's happening.

@Inliytened1 She is mostly critical of me not wanting to know more about her life and her past. But I know that all the stories that she would tell me about that would be made up. None of that really happend. She only exists when she's with me. That's why I'm a little bit reserved about all of that and she has a problem with it.

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, Tyler Durden said:

@Focus 

@Razard86 

@Inliytened1 She is mostly critical of me not wanting to know more about her life and her past. But I know that all the stories that she would tell me about that would be made up. None of that really happend. She only exists when she's with me. That's why I'm a little bit reserved about all of that and she has a problem with it.

See that's exactly what I'm talking about.  You are trying to live your life from the Absolute.  You have had this problem and I've seen it since the beginning.  You have had it for months.  This is a clear sign that you have taken these teachings as dogma or belief.  Don't take this in a bad way I am trying to assist.  If you were awake and knew these Truths you would also know how to shift seamlessly into the dream.  You would then care about her past.  You are letting spirituality (or what you know about it) destroy your life right now and that is not a good thing

[Vynce]

Being aware of enlightenment or actually being enlightened does not mean people won't break up with you. 

You are mixing up the ego's perspective with God's perspective (infinite perspectives). 

[Inliytened1]

17 minutes ago, Vynce said:

Being aware of enlightenment or actually being enlightened does not mean people won't break up with you. 

You are mixing up the ego's perspective with God's perspective (infinite perspectives). 

Been telling him this for months 

[Tyler Durden]

@Inliytened1 I don't mind the criticism, it's all in good spirit so you can be straightforward with me. I understand what you're trying to say but it's very hard to keep on living the same way I did when I was asleep. Sure, I can pretend and act but it just doesn't feel right. I don't know how to behave in this situation.

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, Tyler Durden said:

@Inliytened1 I don't mind the criticism, it's all in good spirit so you can be straightforward with me. I understand what you're trying to say but it's very hard to keep on living the same way I did when I was asleep. Sure, I can pretend and act but it just doesn't feel right. I don't know how to behave in this situation.

Did you actually awaken? If you did you would know how to go back to sleep.  Dreaming is where it's at.  There is nothing as Infinity.  You are just yourself.  And yourself is formless and nothing.  Infinite.  

Being finite is where it's at.

[aetheroar]

2 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

See that's exactly what I'm talking about.  You are trying to live your life from the Absolute.  You have had this problem and I've seen it since the beginning.  You have had it for months.  This is a clear sign that you have taken these teachings as dogma or belief.  Don't take this in a bad way I am trying to assist.  If you were awake and knew these Truths you would also know how to shift seamlessly into the dream.  You would then care about her past.  You are letting spirituality (or what you know about it) destroy your life right now and that is not a good thing

This is very straightforward to why solipsism is NOT God realization. God realization is accepting all perspectives simultaneously, not just yours. This means that the veil your GF has must be accepted by you if you truly wish to know truth. Truth is not your perspective without all other perspectives, it’s where all the perspectives meet. So if your GF has stories from the past that she is caught up in, she projects them to you, hoping that you will reflect her true nature back to her instead of her projection. When one projects and receives acceptance and love in return, their original story (“I am not worthy of love”) is disproven to them.

The way to heal is not for her to project and receive “that’s not even true though, your past isn’t even real”, but for her to project and receive “your perspective is valid, and even though you believe that about yourself, I can see clearly that it isn’t true. You are unconditionally loved.”

Compassion (seeing all perspectives as valid and not wanting to change them) is the only way to make true change. Someone projecting usually receives their projections in return, and often even worse - they receive their projection escalated through your projection, so they continue to believe them.

To be spiritually advanced is to be capable of recognizing an illusory projection and instantly transmute it through compassion, reflecting love instead of more resistance. Contrary to popular belief, it only takes One to tango, meaning that if you are interested in continuing a relationship with anyone, it is solely the responsibility of you to embody compassion and stop projecting.

[Inliytened1]

11 minutes ago, aetheroar said:

This is very straightforward to why solipsism is NOT God realization. God realization is accepting all perspectives simultaneously, not just yours. This means that the veil your GF has must be accepted by you if you truly wish to know truth. Truth is not your perspective without all other perspectives, it’s where all the perspectives meet. So if your GF has stories from the past that she is caught up in, she projects them to you, hoping that you will reflect her true nature back to her instead of her projection. When one projects and receives acceptance and love in return, their original story (“I am not worthy of love”) is disproven to them.

The way to heal is not for her to project and receive “that’s not even true though, your past isn’t even real”, but for her to project and receive “your perspective is valid, and even though you believe that about yourself, I can see clearly that it isn’t true. You are unconditionally loved.”

Compassion (seeing all perspectives as valid and not wanting to change them) is the only way to make true change. Someone projecting usually receives their projections in return, and often even worse - they receive their projection escalated through your projection, so they continue to believe them.

To be spiritually advanced is to be capable of recognizing an illusory projection and instantly transmute it through compassion, reflecting love instead of more resistance. Contrary to popular belief, it only takes One to tango, meaning that if you are interested in continuing a relationship with anyone, it is solely the responsibility of you to embody compassion and stop projecting.

This is kind of hard to undersdand...but your right.   Good points on compassion and love.   The key point is imagination and reality are identical.   It's one and the same.  He doesn't understand this because he has taken these teachings as belief and thus believes she is imaginary.   She is but she is also real because they are one and the same.  There is nothing else besides reality so he might as well get used to it.

[A Fellow Lighter]

18 hours ago, Tyler Durden said:

What is the deeper meaning of that? Is that a way in which I send a message to myself to become a better person in the future? Am I trying to improve myself?

If you learn on this line of contemplation, that is.. the questioning of happenings in terms of their ultimate meaning, then you'll find an answer and it will be an answer that answers every other question you've ever asked or could ever ask. 

So, as tempted as I am to reply to your question, I'll leave you with only the above.