Heart Only Opens When Alone

[Julian gabriel]

I've noticed that i'm able to tell my heart chakra to open at will when i'm alone, in doing so immediately feeling a immense warmth in my chest and a state of peace.

But when I'm with another person I can't do this.

I think this may be linked to childhood trauma and making myself numb so others don't hurt me emotionally.

how do you deal with this issue? 

Edited March 30, 2022 by Julian gabriel

[Arthogaan]

I had that problem.

1. Mainly practice or meditating before meeting someone helps me.

2.  Also the thought that they are going to die soon. That they never existed before for billion of years and that they will never exist again in next billions of years. That you and that person happened to exist at that very little slice of time and that you have chance to experience them.

3. Imagining worst case scenario of that person thinking very badly of you, accepting that and remembering that you do not care about opinion of others, and letting go.

[JonasVE12]

Ask it to open when it feels closed and welcome all the vulnerability that comes with it. The reason it is closed when in front of other people is to protect you from feeling the emotions underneath. You may feel shame and fear when opening the heart, but in actuality, it is mislabeled vulnerability. what you are feeling you must embrace fully in order for your nervous system to let go of them. You have to practice opening your heart on a daily basis. Do a daily heart-opening practice where for the first weeks, you walk around your city and make eye contact with people from your heart, instead of your head. You also have to develop grounding in order to support the extra vulnerability. We tend to go in our head to escape vulnerability, so developing a good relationship with your legs, feet, pelvis, back is important in order for the tension to ground itself. You must become pro-active with this tension, instead of being reactive. You must actively relax into your heart and feel the universe through your heart. You will notice a lot more subtle feelings that emanate from the environment. You allow all of them to go through you into the ground beneath you, like you are a conductor for energy. Allow the energy to flow through your heart instead of holding it there and blocking it to go down. Relax all muscles around your chest to support this sense of relaxation. As well as relaxing the muscles for grounding. Eventually, you increase the tension. When done the eye contact city walk exercise for a couple of weeks daily, you up the tension. Now you stop people and have a small conversation, or ask a simple question. But not from your head. You open your heart fully. And you do this until you feel amazing from your heart. Eventually you will notice people being drawn to you when your heart becomes open. A wounded heart is only fixed by making a serious commitment to work on it. It takes some time for your nervous system to rewire. 

Edited March 29, 2022 by JonasVE12

[Mick888]

The warmth in your chest sounds very cool. Maybe try meditating with others and see if that gets you to the same place.

 

[vizual]

Learn how to communicate authentically with people, not just superficially. I think when we communicate with people on auto-pilot we can't truly appreciate other people. We take them for granted and deep down it feels that spending time with that person is a burden. And then there's also the issue of fear, that we fear communicating authentically with people because we fear being judged. But we have get over that fear if we want to live lovingly and consciously. Because only then can we truly connect with other people. You can't connect with other people if there's a layer of fear between you and them.

[PepperBlossoms]

21 hours ago, Julian gabriel said:

I've noticed that i'm able to tell my heart chakra to open at will when i'm alone, in doing so immediately feeling a immense warmth in my chest and a state of peace.

But when I'm with another person I can't do this.

I think this may be liked to childhood trauma and making myself numb so others don't hurt me emotionally.

how do you deal with this issue? 

I feel the most comfortable when alone too and may have similar trauma.

Some ideas I came up with... (for my own exploratory fun and anyone else's)

Taking the notion of alone and making it more abstract... lets say there are no "people" in the area but there are pillows, lamps, towels, lamps, etc.  I am not alone in that those items are with me.  Now the notion of people... make it abstract and say... oh we have drawn "dividing lines" for reality, created distinctions, created definitions.  If I am okay with the lamps next to me, can I be okay with the pillow next to me, okay with a hamster next to me, okay with a raindrop next to me, okay with a person next to me?

Now lets take distance and make it more abstract.... what we call "people" are around but in different ways.  They may not be physically in the same house but maybe they are in the house next door, maybe they are at the park and they are 1' from me, they are 500' from me, they are 5000 miles from me, they are on another planet from me, they are in another dimension, they are in 100 years ago from me, they are 1000000 years ago right here from me, they are in my mind in my daydream, they are in my dream at night, they are in my vision, I can hear them with my ears.  There are people, or I imagine there to be people and do a good job of thinking there are.  Am I considered okay, calm, and alone when they are 10' away, when they are 100' away, when they are 1000' away, when they are not within the same room as me, the same house as me, the same city as me?

Or another thing... I close my eyes and I see whatever.. fireworks, black, a scene at the beach.  I can say, I am alone.  I open my eyes and I see a person.  I close my eyes again and I see the forest.  I open my eyes and I turn around and I see a window.  

When I see the window, the beach, the forest, what am I feeling/thinking?  When I see a hamster/donkey/snake/cockroach/glass of water, what am I feeling/thinking?  When I see the person, what am I feeling/thinking and why are the problems/irritability/fear from the image, sounds, smells, tastes, touches/associations from the person but not the beach, forest, hamster, donkey, snowflake, etc.?  What about the person that makes it irritable?  Is the light waves, the visual field of just looking at the person irritable, is it the sounds they make with their mouth/hands/shoes, is it the smell the body gives off, the taste (if I do that haha), the touch of their skin/hair, or the association of associating this person = scary/mean/dangerous.  Why did I make that association?

Oh well the beach, forest, hamster, donkey, snowflake are not threatening in the way the person is.  But how is the person threatening and what is the person going to do?  The beach could drown me, the forest could have snakes that eat me, the hamster could break my heart, the donkey could eat my shoelaces.

I guess the thing is is that people can hurt us, can be unpredictable, can put us in jail, can gossip about us, can kill us, can kidnap us, can rob us, can make fun of us, can criticize us, can mock us, can manipulate us... and that can be scary/no fun.  It feels unsure, unpredictable, risky, chaotic, unstable.  The forest/hamster/donkey/beach seems more predictable.  The human is so complex, it can do so many things.. yeah sure the other stuff can too... but the human is a system we don't fully understand, don't fully know how it works or how to work with it.  Human to human interaction is so complex too, it is like a pipe network, a theme park, a systematized thing with all these valves, links, alarms, maintenance workers, etc.  The system we still don't understand and that failure to understand everything can have consequences we also don't understand.

So it makes total sense to be like, ahhh around people.  People don't understand people and people don't know how to interact with people.

Beaches - oh I see the waves, I see the sand, the sand moves with the water and the wind, the waves move like this... it is kinda predictable.  Oh I am in my room and the pillows just sit there, the lamp just sits there and a light comes on when I turn the knob and the light goes off when I turn the knob again.  The bed just sits as is and the sheets just sit as is.  The walls just be walls, the carpet just be's carpet, the windows just be windows.  There isn't much change with those so we don't really pay any attention to them and they don't usually react or do anything unless we physically alter them ourselves.... BUTTT yet the carpet is made of atoms, the lamps made of atoms, the hamster made of atoms, the human made of atoms, the beach made of atoms... but yet the human combination of atoms has more possible potential than the lamp combination of atoms... more options, more flexiblity, more potential for change and to transform itself, to reflect and think on itself, and to change others.

Edited March 30, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[PepperBlossoms]

Something to consider though... it is a blessing and a curse that people are so complex that we don't fully understand them/us.  If we were as predictable as a lamp, a pillow, etc., would that get boring?  Does the seemingly unpredictable chaos, does it make for challenge, inspiration, for change?  But meh maybe I am being too simple here yet again.  Maybe even the lamp is so complex, other systems are so complex, that we don't understand those either.  There is so much complexity and our individual self only knows so much, only thinks about so much, only has so much experience.  If we had the awareness and knowledge of how everything works, how everything is.... would that get boring?

Why do we tend to have the desire to be entertained, to have a good time?  Why do we tend to have the hatred of feeling bored, of stuff being too easy or hard, too confusing, too mysterious, too shameful?  Why the preference?  Ah so many questions!  Why I am typing so much to this question?  haha

Edited March 30, 2022 by PepperBlossoms