This girl broke up with her bf

[StarStruck]

This girl I met through a party wants to go on a date with me. She told me she broke up from her 3 year old relationship. It will be our first real date and I was wondering how to handle this situation. In the past, during different dates, I caught myself ending up as a therapist for the girl. I don’t want that to happen but at the same time I also don’t want to be OCD about it. What topics to talk about and avoid? 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

So she wants it that's great. I would assume she is open for any kind of exploration and clearly that is a ''demand''  from her side. She is probably frustrated with her past time, I think instead of focusing topics you should lead and manipulate her in good ways. I would say make her explore herself. You would be playing the therapist role already if you stick or avoid topics. That's my two cents.

[Danioover9000]

@StarStruck

On 26/03/2022 at 10:42 AM, StarStruck said:

This girl I met through a party wants to go on a date with me. She told me she broke up from her 3 year old relationship. It will be our first real date and I was wondering how to handle this situation. In the past, during different dates, I caught myself ending up as a therapist for the girl. I don’t want that to happen but at the same time I also don’t want to be OCD about it. What topics to talk about and avoid? 

   Wrong sub forum dude.

[Michael569]

-moved to dating sub- 

[Leo Gura]

As always, just have fun and escalate.

Don't talk about anything serious on a first date. You are not her gay friend.

Never talk about exes or past relationships on a first date. And in general, don't talk about heavy negative shit.

[Arcangelo]

@StarStruck  Bro the second she starts talking about her ex, you NEED to tell her: -"I am not your gay friend.''

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

@StarStruck  Bro the second she starts talking about her ex, you NEED to tell her: -"I am not your gay friend.''

That’s a bit harsh. I suppose it depends on you and the girl though

I’ve had some discussion about my exes and girl’s exes before. Usually it’s referencing activities they’d done before or just general stories from her past. 
 

Obviously it’s not great if she starts talking longingly about her ex, but your masculinity should be able to handle your girl talking about events in her past that involve her ex every now and then

[Razard86]

On 3/26/2022 at 6:42 AM, StarStruck said:

This girl I met through a party wants to go on a date with me. She told me she broke up from her 3 year old relationship. It will be our first real date and I was wondering how to handle this situation. In the past, during different dates, I caught myself ending up as a therapist for the girl. I don’t want that to happen but at the same time I also don’t want to be OCD about it. What topics to talk about and avoid? 

1. Don't overthink. This will cause you to hesitate and you will come across as uncomfortable or nervous. The BIGGEST killer in interactions with women is nervousness. Some nervousness is okay, you can even joke about being nervous as a tension breaker. But if you stutter, mumble, and fidget the whole interaction she will want to run FAST and AWAY.

2. Understand that women are ALL about the PRESENT MOMENT. They are all about VIBE, which is the ENERGY they are picking up from you. Here are some pointers to help you.

> Always assume she finds you attractive, drill this into your mind over and over to loosen you up.

>Ask questions and get her talking about herself. EVERYONE loves talking about themselves.

>If she is shy or shallow and doesn't know how to conversate much then either ask her what her interests are or take her someplace where you can DO something. Dancing, bowling, skating, the EXPERIENCE is what women chase EVERY SINGLE DAY. Women want to EXPERIENCE life and enjoy EVERY ASPECT of it. They ideally want a MOVIE of a life but will settle if you can still somehow make hanging with you INTERESTING.

It is NEVER one thing for a woman, it is the TOTALITY of the EXPERIENCE but there ARE some deal breakers. Here are some.

<Smell, if she doesn't like your smell it can be a deal breaker. Not always but usually.

<If you talk too much and don't allow her to express herself.

<Bad energy, like I said VIBE IS EVERYTHING to them

Good luck!!

[Arcangelo]

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

That’s a bit harsh.

It is. But he will pass the s**t test.

@StarStruck you can also mirror her and change the subject: -"Yeah my ex was just like that too, what are we gonna eat?''

Way less harsh

[Arcangelo]

31 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Smell, if she doesn't like your smell it can be a deal breaker.

So true.

[something_else]

6 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

It is. But he will pass the s**t test.

This is an unhealthy frame IMO.

Most of the time a girl mentioning her ex is not a shit test. If they were together for any reasonable amount of time it will be almost impossible for her not to mention them to you

Also shit test is usually a thing girls do to overconfident guys when they approach them to try and see if they are really as confident as they appear at first. I’m not sure this meets that definition

[StarStruck]

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

As always, just have fun and escalate.

Don't talk about anything serious on a first date. You are not her gay friend.

Never talk about exes or past relationships on a first date. And in general, don't talk about heavy negative shit.

What do you think about kissing? Do you always try to kiss on the first date if you like her? She was a little shy so I was hesitant to do it.

17 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

@StarStruck  Bro the second she starts talking about her ex, you NEED to tell her: -"I am not your gay friend.''

Good one.

By the way, I had the date and she didn't even mention her ex. It was a nice date. We ate a pizza, went for a walk, ate some ice cream.

16 hours ago, Razard86 said:

1. Don't overthink. This will cause you to hesitate and you will come across as uncomfortable or nervous. The BIGGEST killer in interactions with women is nervousness. Some nervousness is okay, you can even joke about being nervous as a tension breaker. But if you stutter, mumble, and fidget the whole interaction she will want to run FAST and AWAY.

I was like this in the first 10 minutes because she looked so stunning like those blonde female tennis players and I could tell she was disappointed by my vibe, but I quickly let that go through letting go and pranayama. After that it went only upwards. At the end we vibed very well but we weren't in the park anymore and I really didn't find a good opportunity to kiss her.

Quote

2. Understand that women are ALL about the PRESENT MOMENT. They are all about VIBE, which is the ENERGY they are picking up from you. Here are some pointers to help you.

> Always assume she finds you attractive, drill this into your mind over and over to loosen you up.

>Ask questions and get her talking about herself. EVERYONE loves talking about themselves.

>If she is shy or shallow and doesn't know how to conversate much then either ask her what her interests are or take her someplace where you can DO something. Dancing, bowling, skating, the EXPERIENCE is what women chase EVERY SINGLE DAY. Women want to EXPERIENCE life and enjoy EVERY ASPECT of it. They ideally want a MOVIE of a life but will settle if you can still somehow make hanging with you INTERESTING.

It is NEVER one thing for a woman, it is the TOTALITY of the EXPERIENCE but there ARE some deal breakers. Here are some.

<Smell, if she doesn't like your smell it can be a deal breaker. Not always but usually.

<If you talk too much and don't allow her to express herself.

<Bad energy, like I said VIBE IS EVERYTHING to them

Good luck!!

Excellent points

[Leo Gura]

38 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

What do you think about kissing? Do you always try to kiss on the first date if you like her? She was a little shy so I was hesitant to do it.

Def go for the kiss. Stop worrying about rejection.

[Danioover9000]

@something_else

19 hours ago, something_else said:

This is an unhealthy frame IMO.

Most of the time a girl mentioning her ex is not a shit test. If they were together for any reasonable amount of time it will be almost impossible for her not to mention them to you

Also shit test is usually a thing girls do to overconfident guys when they approach them to try and see if they are really as confident as they appear at first. I’m not sure this meets that definition

   One of my girl friends dates did shit tested her date by bringing up her exes to him. You'd be surprised how creative and sometimes brutal some women shit test their dates. This is assuming short to very short amounts of time spent, less than a week or more.

[Arcangelo]

6 hours ago, StarStruck said:

By the way, I had the date and she didn't even mention her ex. It was a nice date. We ate a pizza, went for a walk, ate some ice cream.

Nice!

Did you invited her to your place?

Edited March 28, 2022 by Arcangelo

[StarStruck]

9 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

Nice!

Did you invited her to your place?

No. She was definitely receptive because she was asking what I was doing tonight. I just didn't want to break my no-fap challenge which is much more important than a girl for me.

[Jacob Morres]

Ime girls like this you gotta be careful of. Sometimes they go back to their ex and shit, sometimes they're just using you as a rebound, sometimes they just need a therapist. 

I'm pretty sure it's a rule of thumb to avoid girls like this. Esp since she's prob deeply hurting now you may want to be conscious of her well being (to avoid taking adv). This is just my personal perspective 

Edited April 2, 2022 by Jacob Morres