How To Stop Judging

[lisindel]

I just watched the "How to stop judging yourself" video. I completely resonate with the message in the video. For example, I constantly judge my parents for wasting their lives doing useless things, but I judge myself just as harshly when I watch TV or play video games. I also judge them for yelling at each other and fighting constantly. That made me a passive person who never speaks for himself.

While it's definitely a big step to be able to recognize all these judgments I make, I want to know what I can do instead of judging. I can't help but think someone is fat when I see that someone is fat. I also can't help but to think that yelling doesn't solve anything when my parents fight again. What can I think instead?

[ndm678]

If you're trying to stop judging, good luck. It's baked into all of us to judge and discern. 

The magic is not being attached to the judgements. 

[gettoefl]

everyone acts according to their level of consciousness 

do you know their past their pain their parents for example?

have mercy ... you are not that virtuous ... why you don't remove the log in your own eye before you criticize the splinter in mine

everyone has the same destiny and everyone is taking a different route to get there

your route is not their route and your speed is not their speed

[yetineti]

Judge your Judgement

[itachi uchiha]

if there is no right or wrong then there is no difference between mahatma gandhi and hitler or stalin or genghis khan

[Matthew85]

@lisindel Keep working on expanding your consciousness. As your awareness expands and you realize you are eternal and others are you, your judgment's naturally begin to fall away. It's actually not possible to waste time. 

[PepperBlossoms]

On 3/25/2022 at 7:19 AM, lisindel said:

I just watched the "How to stop judging yourself" video. I completely resonate with the message in the video. For example, I constantly judge my parents for wasting their lives doing useless things, but I judge myself just as harshly when I watch TV or play video games. I also judge them for yelling at each other and fighting constantly. That made me a passive person who never speaks for himself.

While it's definitely a big step to be able to recognize all these judgments I make, I want to know what I can do instead of judging. I can't help but think someone is fat when I see that someone is fat. I also can't help but to think that yelling doesn't solve anything when my parents fight again. What can I think instead?

Here's a question to ponder...

What is wrong with judging and why do you want to stop?  Judging can be super fun.  It is like making an observation, noticing things, questioning things, etc.  We see it from one perspective and we play that out and see where that line of thought takes us.  Then maybe we try another perspective/lens/filter/logical reasoning and see where that takes us.  Then maybe we change our mind again at some point down that path and diverge again to think about either the origin differently or something down that path differently.  Maybe we are contemplating about A and then thinking about A leads to thinking about B which leads to thinking about C which then leads to D then E then, oh wait, now E brought us to revisit B but now B looks different... and stuff like that.

I think it is okay to judge and can be fun and interesting.  It can also feel toxic, it can feel threatening, shameful, embarrassing, wrong, right, hopeful, annoying, etc.  Judging and saying, oh "my parents waste their times doing useless things."  That is a starting point.  An initial idea/thought/hypothesis/statement/opinion/experience/story.  Now, what else do I see about that that I did not notice initially?  Why am I saying what I am saying?  What do my parents think of themselves?  What does my dog think of my parents?  What would someone 10000 years ago think?  What does the cactus think of it?  But also, why is stuff the way it is?  What had to happen for it to be like that?  What had to happen for me to focus on my parents and focus on this particular thing and say this particular thing?  Why am I feeling/thinking this way and how do I feel and think about how I feel/think?  How does my experience differ from my parents, from my dog, from the cactus, etc.?  

For me, I say don't try to judge less, actually try to judge more.  Judge the judging, experiment with it, question it, tweak it, explore it.  It can take you in many places and have great potential.  To say, I am going to shut off judging and never judge again... well... now what?  One can make an initial observation.. and one can then spend a whole lot of time exploring it more and more and more and it can have so much more nuance, depth/breadth than it did initially.

..

But yeah sure even I know that this response doesn't have enough nuance either and I can judge it too and say, well now let me discuss the antithesis of what I just said and explore that.  Let me look at what I didn't focus on (or didn't respond to) and see what else is there.  Maybe let me just stop judging this and just start doing some other activity.  What are the pros/cons to this activity and how does it compare to the other one?  What is good about judging?  What is bad about it?  How does it work, why do we do it, when do we do it, what are all the ways to do it?  Maybe I want to shut off my thoughts and how is that experience like?  Maybe I want to think less and that is cool too.

Edited March 30, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[Reciprocality]

If you try to avoid your natural urge to judge people in general, and succeed to some extent at diminishing this part of yourself, then is it not likely you will fear other people's judgement of you more in general? Given that you know how hard it were to get over the threshold yourself, you surely wont expect many others to be as determined as you once were.

Or do you think that while people will judge you just like they would before that your own lessened urge itself by consequence makes you less fearful or obsessive with others judgement, or are you simply free from this burden already?

[Prakhar]

Just watch/observe/be aware of your judgments.

[brun0]

this is one thing i practice very frequently;

the person who blames others has a long way to go

the person who blames themselves are halfway there

and the person who blames no one has already arrived

#tipstoenlightenemnt #pfft

but yes, this helped me with practicing neutrality and being zen with everything around me 

I probably don't make sense, or I do... i think..,

don't take my words as it is, but yes, do as you please...

because you and only you are the master of your own universe

ok fine..... I found this on Instagram..... =P