What Do Men Prefer: Nice Girls Vs. Bitches?

[clytaemnestra]

Guys, what do you prefer and how do you feel with both of those girl types?

Pros of bitches are that they're self-confident, they don't let anyone mess with them and they leave strong impression, they look completely powerful, independent and emotionally strong. 

On the other hand, nice girls are lovely, cute, warm and nice.

I'm more like the first type, when I try to be this type, I feel like I show no standards and I let every one to be close to me (in the context of communicating with me, I'm very socially selective and I don't want to waste my energy and words on everyone). But the problem is, I like respective men and sometimes also bit shy types and then I feel like my bitchy approach (what's my normal behavior) can be a bit repelling. 

 

[Principium Nexus]

You might have heared this a million times, just be yourself. Confidence is the most sexiest thing a man or women can have, it means that they truely stand for something and are willing to go for that. If you are certain of what you want in a relationship this will only clear things up and strenghten what you can provide for eachother. However I do think that acting more offensive also gives the impression you have things to lose and probably also some fears and are willing to protect those. In a relationship i think it is prefered to be a bit more relaxed since you want both sides to be in agreement most of the time, but standing for what you think is ofcourse no problem.

Some men probably like women which are taking the lead and some like to be more leading in the relationship themselves. Important is that you listen to your feelings, your intuition is often your best indication.

[SFRL]

6 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

Guys, what do you prefer and how do you feel with both of those girl types?

Pros of bitches are that they're self-confident, they don't let anyone mess with them and they leave strong impression, they look completely powerful, independent and emotionally strong. 

On the other hand, nice girls are lovely, cute, warm and nice.

I'm more like the first type, when I try to be this type, I feel like I show no standards and I let every one to be close to me (in the context of communicating with me, I'm very socially selective and I don't want to waste my energy and words on everyone). But the problem is, I like respective men and sometimes also bit shy types and then I feel like my bitchy approach (what's my normal behavior) can be a bit repelling. 

 

The way you describe 'bitches' is what I think a lot of women's idea of the ideal man is. I don't really look at 'bitches' that way. 

I do make a distinction between two types of women though.

One is what they call in rap music a 'bad bitch' which is a very pretty sexy girl that is great in bed, but not necesairly morally sound. And she did become great in bed because she already has had many sexual encounters. 

And then there is the typical good girl. A little shy, dresses nice but not provacitive. Well mannered. Loyal. She hasn't had many boyfriend's. But she is also not very freaky in bed, and a little boring at times in her behaviour. Although very sweet. 

Now the thing is I love sex. And that's what I can get from a 'bad bitch'. Yet I also like the good girl qualities. The thing is that girls do not tend to max out on both categories. So you can't have it both ways. 

It's like the men's version of the 'bad boy' VS the 'nice guy'. 

The challenge is to find a balance there. 

[Principium Nexus]

The word "bitch" probably gets used differently but I see what you mean by that. A good balance will work the best I guess. Both passionate and freaky sex have their place in any relationship but it depends completely on the guy and in what stage you are. Just follow you feelings, try to find some indications of what he might like and things will definetly work out.

Personally I'm quite shy so I look for similar aspects that resonate with me so a girl that is not extemely over the top social would my prefered choice.

I think you will figure it out

[clytaemnestra]

3 hours ago, Principium Nexus said:

I'm quite shy so I look for similar aspects that resonate with me

I just wonder out of the curiosity, if you're shy and the girl is as well, who takes an initiative then?  Isn't it like eternal waiting for another to make a step? I also always fell for shy guys and I used to be shy, but I simply realized it's not working that way for me, so I had to cross out of my comfort zone and to learn how to do first steps, so a guy to feel less insecure and more loose with me, so we can more emotionally connect and it easier goes.

[clytaemnestra]

11 hours ago, STC said:

And she did become great in bed because she already has had many sexual encounters. 

I personally believe in equality when it comes to sex and the guys are date are not prone to sex-shaming but more liberal, but apart from that I don't think that this statement is necessarily true. I think people learn more by learning about sexuality, communication and practicing it with a partner, and that said, it's always easier to do so with a long-term partner, than with a hook-up, what's only classic vanilla sex mostly. It's not about quantity, but about quality. I never slept with a girl (I'm a girl), so I don't have any experience in that way, but in my experience I learned a lot more by being in a relationship and trying new stuff with my bf, than having some occasionally sex.

[AxelK]

18 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

Pros of bitches are that they're self-confident, they don't let anyone mess with them and they leave strong impression, they look completely powerful, independent and emotionally strong. 

You really think so? It might look like that on the surface, but if you're acting like a "bitch i'd argue it's the opposite. Insecurity disguised as self confidence can fuel "bitchy" behaviour.

[Principium Nexus]

@clytaemnestra I think with shy I mean that the final step of saying that you like her takes a little bit longer. Probably some flirting and indirect hinting might losen up the connection. Often I have the feeling that going to fast can end up forcing things which don't look as genuine as who someone really is.

[clytaemnestra]

1 hour ago, Principium Nexus said:

@clytaemnestra I think with shy I mean that the final step of saying that you like her takes a little bit longer. Probably some flirting and indirect hinting might losen up the connection. Often I have the feeling that going to fast can end up forcing things which don't look as genuine as who someone really is.

Yea, I agree with that last. It's just at the beginning to me very awkward, when it comes to arranging first meeting and initiating communication if both sides expect each other to initiate and start conversation and hanging around, i.e. get-to-know process. 

[Mattylonglegs]

1 hour ago, Spacious said:

@clytaemnestra Don't typecast yourself, especially as dividing people into two categories is a gross oversimplification of human expression, regardless of gender.

Progressively find authenticity of action and joy will follow.

This is great right here ^

Even when you're being a "bitch" i'm sure you can also make people laugh and have interesting conversations, flirt, etc... all the stuff that comes with attracting the opposite sex. So you're never a complete bitch like an Disney princess evil villain.

Just because someone appears outwardly confident doesn't mean they're a bitch and just because someone's shy doesn't mean they're an angel.

If you spend some time alone, just connecting with what you really enjoy and thinking about what you want to see in your social relationships and romantic partners. If you do that the next time you go out, if you're acting from that place of deep honesty within yourself, then you're gonna stumble upon some awesome people and your interactions are going to be so effortless and organic.  You're not even going to be thinking about if you're being to "bitchy" or "shy".

This may take some time, work and introspection to get to, it did for me. But i promise you once you are really connected with your own deepest desires and feelings you'll rarely be worrying about whether you're wasting time with someone because you'll literally just feel like talking to this random person and oh hey it turns out this person is one of the funniest , most interesting people you've ever met.

Obviously this doesn't happen all the time but if you do the work on yourself you'll find it happens more often and frequently. And then all the sudden you're presently surprised with the depth and quality of people you're meeting day in and day out.

Hope this helped!

 

[Life Coach]

When I still dated and was interested in relationships I would choose the nice, timid and humble girl over the bitch any day. The other ones even repulsed me

[SFRL]

15 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

I personally believe in equality when it comes to sex and the guys are date are not prone to sex-shaming but more liberal, but apart from that I don't think that this statement is necessarily true. I think people learn more by learning about sexuality, communication and practicing it with a partner, and that said, it's always easier to do so with a long-term partner, than with a hook-up, what's only classic vanilla sex mostly. It's not about quantity, but about quality. I never slept with a girl (I'm a girl), so I don't have any experience in that way, but in my experience I learned a lot more by being in a relationship and trying new stuff with my bf, than having some occasionally sex.

I do agree that more, and better sex happens in a steady relationship. More practice and experimentation. So there is quility in that. And quantity as well. 

Then again from one person to another person the baseline quility of the sex will vary. Some people are better at sex then other people. Or they may be more suited to your personal preferences. So there is potential for quility in that as well. 

How would a person that has had very few sexual partners be able to judge if the sex is good or bad compared to having sex with some other partner? It may very well be the best sex possible. It also could be really not that great. When a person has not had sex with many people it's hard to judge the quility of the sex. The only thing to rate there is if that person actually enjoys the sex with the partner they are with as it is. (Which is valuable in itself. So if two highschool sweethearts enjoy their sexlife I say stick to it.)

Another angle is that when one has had sex with many different people then that person can have picked up different styles and techniques from different people. In that way more variety can lead to more inspiration and variety and therefore a higher quality of sex. 

Now back to the 'bad bitch'. Let's say you have a 'bad bitch' who has been sexually active for 10 years. She can for instance have had two relationships of 3 years. She will have had experienced that deeper level relationship sex in which she got to perfect her sexual technique and experiment. And then she had another 4 years during which she had many short flings and one night stands. So she has had experienced many different men and situations. She has true undisputed sexual experience accross the board. 

That makes that 'bad bitch' very sexually experienced. Now she probably also has a high sex drive and a freaky side. Sex with her is going to be good. (Given she is the type of girl you are attracted to). 

Now does a man want a relationship with a woman like that? Well that depends. 

Edited January 25, 2017 by STC

[electroBeam]

On 24/01/2017 at 3:57 AM, clytaemnestra said:

On the other hand, nice girls are lovely, cute, warm and nice.

Yummmm. Intimacy > mindless sex

[aurum]

On 1/23/2017 at 11:57 AM, clytaemnestra said:

Guys, what do you prefer and how do you feel with both of those girl types?

Pros of bitches are that they're self-confident, they don't let anyone mess with them and they leave strong impression, they look completely powerful, independent and emotionally strong. 

On the other hand, nice girls are lovely, cute, warm and nice.

I'm more like the first type, when I try to be this type, I feel like I show no standards and I let every one to be close to me (in the context of communicating with me, I'm very socially selective and I don't want to waste my energy and words on everyone). But the problem is, I like respective men and sometimes also bit shy types and then I feel like my bitchy approach (what's my normal behavior) can be a bit repelling. 

 

I've never gelled that great with girls who are really sensitive and / or shy. I like to joke around a lot and with sensitive girls it's usually too much. I have to tone it down in order to still relate with them.

With bitchy girls, I can really let it loose. Nothing like a playful, verbal sparring match

At the same time, if I'm going to be in a relationship with a girl, I definitely don't want her to be bitchy all the time. I love when she's sweet and girly.

So I'm not really looking for "nice" or "bitchy". I'm looking for self-esteem, sexuality, sense of humor, playfulness, investment and a willingness to grow. Self-esteem maybe being the most important.

I want self-esteem because otherwise it's like dating an empty bucket. I'm gonna keep trying show this girl that I care, but she's not going to accept it because she can't. It doesn't jive with her self-image that a guy would care.

On top of that, self-esteem means she's going to be willing to let me grow. Make no mistake, I know there are girls who hold their man back because they're afraid of him succeeding too much and them dumping her. So for someone with ambitions like mine, that's a hard "no".

Yeah. Self-esteem is just the shit. Everyone just love themselves already damnit 

 

 

[FindingPeace]

"What Do Men Prefer: Nice Girls Vs. Bitches?"

Isn't that another way of asking "Do men prefer needy/insecure Vs. egotistical women?"

In which case.. neither. In any case, it's way too black-and-white for my liking. If you approach relationships with this sort of shallow thinking you're never going to have a fulfilling relationship.

[Zane]

The nice girl/bitch and Nice Guy/Asshole paradigm is WAY TOO LIMITING!!!!!!! What i genuinely desire is an authentic woman with a devil may care attitude to life where she's free to live as she pleases and is carefree and grounded in her purpose and values. She embraces her femininity or masculinity or a balance of both authentically. She is free from gender roles and identity rigidity and is very fluid with identity and she's a creator and she's free from neurosis and has a radiant charisma and devil may care attitude that states "I do what I want, when I want." She also refuses to intervene and create drama because she's aware of how petty and draining and useless it is. 

[Robert66]

Female dogs are nice and so are girls, but I actually prefer women.

[Toby]

I don't like either one very much.

[sweater]

@clytaemnestra depends

[Kriz]

I wouldn't really place women in those two categories. The so called nice girl can be a real bitch sometimes. Many of these girls try to give off this sweet impression so everybody doesn't think they are bitches. But as soon as something isn't going to their liking they show their true nature. It's funny sometimes when a nice girl is actually more of a bitch then this tough girl that is actually more sweeter than you would imagine.

I personally like the kind of girl that can be rough. Showing her true intentions all of the time and thus also showing her sweet side. Some of the nice girls are not confident enough to show their true intentions to everyone and try to manipulate you to get what they want. Not showing their true intentions makes it hard to actually establish something between you and the person. Thus making it a waste of time since you always need to guess what her intentions actually are.

Just be yourself, easiest for everyone.