Feelings of guilt when drinking

[puporing]

No need to feel guilty just enjoy it when you do, sounds like you're a very moderate drinker to me . 

[cjoseph90]

1 hour ago, StudentX said:

@cjoseph90 You were a heavy drinker in the past?

well its relative but yes i did use it as an escapism in the past, some days yes, some no. could say i had strong cravings before, whereas now i dont get those anymore, but yes i still enjoy the ocassional social drink.

[cjoseph90]

58 minutes ago, puporing said:

No need to feel guilty just enjoy it when you do, sounds like you're a very moderate drinker to me . 

yea i am, i dont drink in excess as i am very aware of its effects. yh ive let go now of the guilt, i just guess the feelings come from thinking that my ideal self wouldnt drink at all.

[StudentX]

@cjoseph90 Do you experience guilt in other aspects of your life? 

What made you quit using alcohol as an escape?

[Eph75]

@cjoseph90

If you don't want to "be a drinker" and can't resist the urge, then the guilt might be telling you that you need to be authentic and you should work on your authenticity.

Is your image of your ideal self coming from you, or is it the adoptation of someone else's, or a cultural idea of what an ideal self should be like? 

It needs to be your self-made ideal so that it's you being authentic to who you want/need to be. 

If the guilt is wholly irrational, and the drinking is benign, then you need to work allowing yourself to enjoy the drinks without feeling guilt.

If the drinking isn't benign and it's posing some risk or threat, maybe past experiences with alcohol is telling you someting, and that needs to be explored.

You need to listen to and feel into that guilt to figure out what it's really telling you. 

What do you think yourself, about what it might be telling you? 

Edited March 25, 2022 by Eph75

[zurew]

47 minutes ago, cjoseph90 said:

yea i am, i dont drink in excess as i am very aware of its effects. yh ive let go now of the guilt, i just guess the feelings come from thinking that my ideal self wouldnt drink at all.

I think you should contemplate about exactly, why you feel guilty when you drink. I think some arguments could be made that a small amount of alcohol can even be beneficial for you.

You say that you are not a heavy drinker, so i don't think that drinking is the problem here, more of a mental block or something psychological.

Contemplate deeply about it, exactly why do you feel guilty:

•  Is it a cultural programming?
•  Is it something that you have learnt from you parents that you should't drink 
•  Is it something else that you came up with in your mind to feel more special or to feel more better?
• Do you think it causing harm for your spiritual development? if you think it is, then the question is how?
• What is exactly that you try to achieve by not drinking anything?

[Flowerfaeiry]

Enjoying a drink or two a couple times a week is not bad for your health. In fact, allowing yourself to enjoy some of your favorite pleasures in life will increase your health. It kinda sounds like you’re unsure if you want to quit drinking or not. That’s ok too, you can live in that in between for a little while while you explore that some more and can feel satisfied with your choices.

[Arcangelo]

Feelings of guilt when drinking

No wonder. You are drinking poison.

Try 2 big hits of DMT instead.

[cjoseph90]

@Arcangelo as much as id be open to trying dmt, i am not able to/ dont know to access it so its not a possibility.

@Flowerfaeiry yes i think that is a more realistic perspective, allowing myself to to induldge in the pleasure mindfully. I keep changing my mind on qutting to enjoying a drink or 2 from time to time. Dont know if i would call it healthy, as no amount of alcohol is good for your health. Doesnt make it easy that is so widely accessible.

[Kksd74628]

@cjoseph90

Think it as the same way as charity - when you give money - so someone could be happy - you get happiness out of that and also you see that you aren't too poor, because you are able to give something away. Next time you are having drink see it as you are so healthy that you can give little bit to someone's enjoyment and it is yours. You get happiness by giving that happiness to yourself so you get happy x2 (receiving and giving) and also you feel more healthy, because you see that you can play with it little. Also drinking in that amount you said only does good actually.

Point of being healthy is not to be healthy, but to be happy and being able to do things. If that goal prevents you from doing basic things such as having drink or two then you actually act as unhealty - not able to do things - while being healthy. Point of life is to enjoy it and there is no reason to do well just to show that you did well, but actually you should aim to maximize your happiness overall and having small amount of alcohol is part of life, I would say. I haven't had drink for a long time, but actually I don't see problem in having it, because it is the big picture which makes the difference and you have that painted beautifully so continue doing, you beautiful : )

With love -joNi- <3

[zurew]

2 hours ago, cjoseph90 said:

yes i think that is a more realistic perspective, allowing myself to to induldge in the pleasure mindfully. I keep changing my mind on qutting to enjoying a drink or 2 from time to time. Dont know if i would call it healthy, as no amount of alcohol is good for your health. Doesnt make it easy that is so widely accessible.

There are some research around alcohol that it can be beneficial for you if you are moderate about it, but its arguable. But even if we say that it doesn't have any direct health benefit, a small amount of alcohol you have sometimes won't destroy you nearly as much the other things you can do for yourself. 

For example, if we are talking about being anxious and being stressful, i think that is much more damaging for you, than having a little alcohol here and there.

If the health part is the main reason why you are contemplating about to drink a moderate amount of alcohol or not, then i think you should weight other things in your life as well, how healthy is your diet, how often do you exercise, overall how much is  your lifestyle is optimised for being healthy.

If Health is your biggest value and priority in life, then you should cut out alcohol completely from your life. Live up freely for your highest values, its your life, just calculate how much stress it will bring and calculate how much can you handle the pressure from outside. 

Maybe it will generate a lot of stress for you, and maybe it will be even  more damaging for you comapared to rarely having a drink with your friends .

[Kksd74628]

@zurew

I would add that healthy and natural goes hand in hand and therefore I would say that unnecessary calculating and stressing about which is healthy and which is not is act which is unhealthy. Healthy to me means thing which is working smoothly and effortlessly, isn't that what everyone wants - to have life which you don't need to think about too much, but still being able to love it. Healthy lifestyle, what many people dream having, is that which is freeing and aesthetic and therefore making normal human act too theoretical is not good for anyone. In comparison, do you go and measure lenghts of your orgasms, if I would say that 15min is optimal.

[zurew]

25 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

Healthy lifestyle, what many people dream having, is that which is freeing and aesthetic and therefore making normal human act too theoretical is not good for anyone. In comparison, do you go and measure lenghts of your orgasms, if I would say that 15min is optimal.

Yes, i somewhat agree with what you are saying. However, if for someone health is really his/her top value,then learning about it and optimising his/her life around that value should be the choice. There is nothing wrong with being more aware and to learn about how you can become more healthy. Of course anything can become too toxic, but being more conscious should be good. There is nothing wrong with calculating either, it all depends on calculating what impacts has on you.

 Look at Leo, Leo's top value if i know correctly is understanding. He is optimising his whole life around the value of understanding. An outsider can say, that it is toxic and he should value having children or family or health much better than understanding. Usually health isn't a top priority/value for everyone, there are things that are more important for most people compared to health.

So overall it all depends on one's values and goals.

How do you want to live your life? <--- Thats an important question to know the answer for.

[Kksd74628]

@zurew

I usually explain this thing to people like everyone has games they want to play and games in this context mean things you like doing and getting better at. One game could be health and another helping others, but what all games share in common is that they give you happiness. Happiness is accepting present moment as it is. If you would be in situation that you need to choose between doing great at game or being happy, you should always choose happiness over the game or otherwise you are negatively addicted to your game and it has blinded you from the real reason you do it to begin with.

There is nothing wrong trying to optimize how you play your game and actually that is the whole purpose of the game to be good at it, but people should see the bigger picture that all games are for and it is happiness. I said what I said, because it seemed that @cjoseph90 is between choosing to do great at her game - health - and happiness and it sounded like she is doing "wrong" decision and that is why I wanted to come here and tell my own opinion.

56 minutes ago, zurew said:

How do you want to live your life? <--- Thats an important question to know the answer for.

That is actually the only thing you need to answer and based on your own answer, which changes throughout your life, you lead your life to that destination. I stress being happy so much, because that is the most important thing one needs to have, because it is point of life. Next time someone asks you what is point of life just dance to him/her, smile and hug him/her and you got it <3

[zurew]

16 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

That is actually the only thing you need to answer and based on your own answer, which changes throughout your life, you lead your life to that destination. I stress being happy so much, because that is the most important thing one needs to have, because it is point of life. Next time someone asks you what is point of life just dance to him/her, smile and hug him/her and you got it <3

I would frame it this way:

I would not even call it 'being happy' i would call it being deeply/fully fulfilled (not wanting to desire almost anything / not wanting to take from the world just only the basics to be able to survive).

When you are truly fulfilled you only want to give for the World. From a fulfilled place one can really start to live his/her life and making the world a better place using their unique skills and capabilities.

In that case, we can start to talk about what i wrote in my previous text, that you can figure out your own way what you want to optimise for (besides happiness) and how you want to make your own footprint in the world. Because in my opinion, you should connect your highest value with your carrier (Just as how Leo did with understanding).

However, as we know from maslow's hierarchy, to be able to reach fulfillment and higher levels of consciousness - we need to satisfy our lover needs healthily first. 

So knowing where we are going, and why we are doing what we are doing consciously and having a solid plan can be really important. Also realising that mostly we are working towards fulfillment can be important as well.

[Kksd74628]

@zurew

When I talk about happiness or being happy I mean exactly being fulfilled about the present moment and accepting it completely. Actually giving "back" to the universe is also one more game that should at some point be fulfilled so you do not need that anymore. I don't say that you shouldn't do that, but there is no reason to do that except you gaining happiness out of it. Also having own footprint is more games. People need to understand that life is meaningless except while living it and that is why you should just love BEING

[cjoseph90]

@Kksd74628  @zurew thanks guys, i appreciate the different points of views. I think its about finding a balance. intresting perspectives for sure. Even though health is important to me, i would resonate with being happy and fulfilled (like most) i liked the charity metaphor and giving back and yes that life is meaningless.

i think its cos Leo demonises drinking so much that this belief kinda rubbed me off on me..

[Kksd74628]

@cjoseph90

You make your own rules, moralities and exceptions and those should be done so you are happy by yourself. This is not game who does best that which Leo or someone else says, but it's game about who is the happiest one. Remember that you find balance only by first being unbalanced, because that tells you when, how much and to what direction you need to do the adjustment. This being said continue what you do and change it only if you by yourself really feel like it and if not don't do anything, my friend : )

[Michael Jackson]

alcohol is poison...

[Razard86]

On 3/24/2022 at 5:57 PM, cjoseph90 said:

yes thank you for your responses,

I know i shouldnt feel guilty, its just that alcohol isnt considered spiritual.

nope, i cant say its negatively affecting my life as i consume small amounts at a time  and do have willpower not to drink too much/ to excess. 

However yes being mindful that its will have negative effects on my health over the long term.

One of the traps of the spiritual practice is to demonize the anything considered non-spiritual. You are here to EXPERIENCE LIFE. You are NOT to demonize anything or feel any guilt. Your task in life is to learn to fall in love with ALL OF REALITY. It's an arduous task, but as your awareness grows you will realize there is nothing to feel guilt about or hate.