I'm fed up with this forum and I feel like leaving it

[Loving Radiance]

@Leo Gura In my perception there's a trend of long time users leaving the forum since 1 year. Do you plan to ease the masculine bias here?

 

18 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I don't like people who constantly complain about little things

Yesterday someone was complaining about my post count

It's not about you personally. It's their image of you that they complain about. That's like complaining about the unicorn they imagine.

21 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This place is overly competitive. 

...

Threads are derailed and ruined by personal arguments. There is hyper aggression, rude behavior, no friendliness at all. 

Feels like a warzone everyday. 

The community here needs to be more friendly. It has a bad attacking energy here.

That is the masculine bias on the forum here. I understand you. It's tough. Forestluv and Emerald already pointed out the imbalance on here.

If it is better for your mental wellbeing, there are many forums which are more balanced and where one's expression is encouraged no matter how many posts you might have.

You can also use this opportunity to take a break and search elsewhere for a place of learning, helping, discussing and interacting with people. You can use this opportunity to talk to people on spirituality & self-development discord channels or Zoom meetings. It is an opportunity to feel better by exploring other options and possibly finding better ones for you.

 

16 minutes ago, JonasVE12 said:

You have a conscious choice to absorb those things or let it go in the moment, and you are CHOOSING the former. YOU are responsible for your own feelings. Life is always gonna throw stuff at you, and if you are gonna be reactive all the time, of course it is gonna throw more of the same stuff at you. Especially people who have a lot of anger and resentment in themself will try to test you and provoke you. You made a post about you having a lot of anger and want to get rid of it. The first step is to stop looking outside and look inside. If you see a post that is testing you, then ignore it and do not let it even go inside you. Just scroll as if it is not there. Use your body to let go. Do you feel a pull in your energy to react? Inspect that pull and let go. Breath through it. Focus on what you can control. You can not control other people, but you can control your own reaction. If you keep reacting, your nervous system is gonna build on that and remember that. It is an unconscious pattern in your nervous system of reactivity. And you are contributing to it and reinforcing it each time you become reactive. If you want to feel more peaceful, you have to rewire this by conscious effort and conscious letting go. If you can not stop being reactive, you should go live in a mountain where nobody can touch you or affect you if that is what you want. seriously, life is not always gonna treat you like a baby. I broke my ribs yesterday. So what? Work on your self-esteem, do embodiment practices, explore them and you are gonna grow, but I agree with what some people say here, spending so much time on the forums here is not gonna give you more self-love, it is keeping you in a mental activity while you want to explore different things to fix this. 

That's gold ??

 

19 minutes ago, vizual said:

I remember this is not the first time you have made this exact same post. I don't know what you are expecting from this

It's rather an expression of what is going on for her right now.

Any absolutes only describe the present experience. It's like your partner says to you, "You never love me". Actually, it means, "I don't feel loved by you right now." It might also have accumulated since a some time.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

Whether you leave or stay is your private business and it probably doesn't matter for most of us.

See this is the attitude that I call unfriendliness.

Telling one person that they are not welcome but telling another person that they are. 

This attitude of making a person feel unwanted by saying "we don't give a fuck about you." 

Maybe that's why @Lobaleft.

You have no right to decide who has to be here just because you don't like them. 

Did I attack you? No? 

But you came to attack me 

 

 

[Arthogaan]

@Preety_India Can you imagine a version of yourself in some pararel reality that does not care whatsoever what other people say about you? Can you just imagine that and feel how would it be? What stops you from becoming that version every day a little bit more?

Please consider watching that video: 

 

[Preety_India]

@Loving Radiance actually this place is really good because there are many replies to a question except a few users who want me banned and put all their effort into attacking me as much as possible. 

It's almost like a conspiracy against me by these users. 

You can see this thread alone. 

 

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Can you make this a little bit more constructive? For example, can you list the problems that you see here that make this a bad place for people in general and not just you? Try to keep it objective and without naming anyone in specific.

Whether you leave or stay is your private business and it probably doesn't matter for most of us.

You are using silent psychological abuse to separate me from the rest of the forum and to alienate me 

Deliberate attempt. 

When Etherial Cat talked about her rape experience you deliberately tried to downplay and gaslight her rape with your insensitive comments 

You have been banned before here and this is your second account. 

The audacity to tell me to fuck off. 

You constantly attack vulnerable people on the forum 

[Reciprocality]

Because people can not accept themselves without a scarcity mindset by which everyone competes for attention and they define themselves by the attention they receive, instead of already being out of abundance enough and complete in themselves.

This is what it means to be human, except when it is not, it takes people many years to become abundant.

[Preety_India]

There are some guys on this thread who are constantly manipulating the whole forum against me. They are conspiring against me. 

They have a vendetta against me.. 

They have tried relentlessly to get me banned and they keep trying everyday. 

I'm leaving this thread because I feel uncomfortable 

This is bullying. 

 

[mojsterr]

25 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'm fed up with this user @Yarco constantly bullying me and complaining about me. And users like him who do the same

 

We are not here to complain and attack each other. 

There is no love here 

 

 

I had a bully on another forum. That guy was oozing hate from every pore of his body and psyche. And he found me to directe all of his hate to.

I couldn't get rid of him, any time he saw me post, he needed to unload. It was difficult for me, but it must be even more difficult for him to be in that body. What agony, I can't imagine. Though he wouldn't adimt it. He doesn't see it.

 

So I have found the best way how to work on people like these. I haven't mastered this yet, but I know when I do, I've reached the peak of my psychology. But the way you go a it is counter intuitive:

Instead of being angry, all you have to do is try to imagine that person happy. But not just smiling and superficially happy. Try to really visualize him really joyful. Like he just got the best news in the world and all of his insides lit up from joy and pure happinness. Imagine him fulfilled. Imagine him having everything he ever wanted and getting it and you are now observing hm in the state of complete gratitude. Imagine that thing finally braking all of his pain inside and the hate and everything now just obliterated and radiating immense joy. Really really vizualize it.

Can you still feel angry at him?

 

I found out this immediately alleviates all of my anger to that person and not just that, but I suddenly feel enourmous love for him. Love that he is finally getting what he was searching for all of his life (because now in this moment when he still has a need to bully you, he obviously hasn't found it yet - that's why he channels his anger to people around him ho trigger him - people like you).

I see how every dark cloud from him lifted and I see him genuinely smiling and being in ecstasy.

I also see him realizing how he hurt other people and feeling bad for it.

 

This is the practice. If you become a master at it no one will every be able to hurt you and even more, instead of feeling hate you will feel neverending joy for him. And at the same time when you feel joy for him, you will feel joy for yourself and what he did won't matter, because it didn't pierce and hurt you like it does now.

It's an amazing exercise. I know it's tough when you feel hate, I still haven't mastered it myself, but in the glimpses I have when I work on it, the feeling is trully wholesome. I believe this can cure a lot of your problems you described. Try it. Try it for yourelf. Not for him. Even if he still bullies you, you will react totally the opposite.

And he might change. And if not, it will have no effect on you.

 

 

 

Edited March 23, 2022 by mojsterr

[Vynce]

You spent so much time here. Chances are high you will benefit from connecting with different people and teachings. Actualized.org can be a trap as well. 

[zurew]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

There are some guys on this thread who are constantly manipulating the whole forum against me. They are conspiring against me. 

You can use the 'ignore user' function. I don't know how it works, because i haven't used it yet, but it could be usefu,l if you feel bad from some user's posts.

[Preety_India]

@mojsterr I'm not angry at him. I'm scared of him. I get tensed every time he appears on my thread 

I fear that he will get be banned. 

I get a lot of help here and people like him are desperately trying to get me banned. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Cykaaaa said:

It wouldn't be the actualized forum if at least once a week someone didn't make a thread about how they're leaving/tired of the forum 

Maybe we should make a mega-thread for this lol.

If so many people complain about leaving the forum then it should not be taken lightly. 

This indicates that people are not happy and something deeper psychologically is going on here that is negatively impacting people. 

Also a lot of people are joining the new copycat forum. That says a lot that people aren't happy here. And nothing gets done about it. 

 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

This forum is rather vulgar and depressing.

[PurpleTree]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

If so many people complain about leaving the forum then it should not be taken lightly. 

This indicates that people are not happy and something deeper psychologically is going on here that is negatively impacting people. 

Also a lot of people are joining the new copycat forum. That says a lot that people aren't happy here. And nothing gets done about it. 

 

it is also that many mentally unstable people come to this forum.

which is totally fine with me i'm not saying i'm totally stable or whatevs

but they will often complain and say they're leaving and then come back after a week or so.

sometimes i don't know if people do get bullied or if they just feel they do

[Preety_India]

@PurpleTree I feel bullied. No need to invalidate. You are not in my shoes. 

 

[PurpleTree]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@PurpleTree I feel bullied. No need to invalidate. You are not in my shoes. 

 

well if i see someone really bullying you then i'll tell them to stop.

[Preety_India]

9 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

This forum is rather vulgar and depressing.

True 

[Gesundheit2]

35 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This attitude of making a person feel unwanted by saying "we don't give a fuck about you."

Do I have to give a fuck about you staying here? Much narcissism?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

Do I have to give a fuck about you staying here? Much narcissism?

Much lack of respect? 

 

[PurpleTree]

you have to try to focus more on the positive than the negative imo

there are "heartless" people sure but there are also many others