I'm just depressed

[Preety_India]

I just don't know how to cope

[Preety_India]

No nothing is going to change that. Nothing is going to change that. 

[Preety_India]

I feel like my brain is exploding. 

I can't take it anymore. 

[Preety_India]

And you struggled and you struggled 

 

But what's the point? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

And you struggled and you struggled 

 

But what's the point? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I love you and i miss you Marcel

 

 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel 

Please 

Please 

Please 

Please just give me one chance 

[Preety_India]

Anyway I will always try to be as supportive as possible. 

[Preety_India]

I don't want anything anymore 

[Preety_India]

I acted mean. 

I acted bad 

I acted shallow 

I acted clumsy 

I acted angry and hateful 

 

 

 

 

God only knows what moment that was that the devil got into me. 

 

[Preety_India]

I tried to be sweet. 

 

My trauma caused me to become an angry insecure person

 

 

I tried to change. 

 

[Preety_India]

I

Hope you are taking good care of yourself even without me. 

Because that's what I would want. 

 

I always hope the best for everyone. 

 

I don't want anything to do with this world. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm so ashamed of myself 

 

If I had any inkling that you would leave. 

 

If I had any inkling...... Only if.

 

 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

My trauma caused me to become an angry insecure person

 

 

No, you are willingly using your anger  to fortify your beliefs. What you experiencing right now is enlightenment and it will come back and back unless you realize your situation. 

[Preety_India]

Oh God please don't punish me so badly 

 

If I had any inkling. 

 

 

For the whole month of February I suffered and battled Covid. 

 

Then it was March. My mood wasn't good. 

My ex Joseph had messaged me again through another account and said awful shit to me. 

I had blocked him. 

He keeps making new accounts to torture me 

 

That day was a bad day. It was March 16.

I had fallen a flight of stairs the week before breaking both my legs. 

Now I'm unable to walk and healing will take a long time. 

These things were going on in my mind. 

I was incredibly frustrated 

 

And in that moment I was pissy and angry 

 

I got angry and frustrated and I blurted out and called him an asshole 

 

I'm ashamed of myself now. 

I was bitter and angry in that moment. 

I acted disrespectful 

Because that moment reminded me of all the bad things that happened to me before. 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I repent my actions. 

 

I didn't mean to hurt but I acted mean 

 

The meanness was a result of my trauma 

 

I have been mistreated so badly before that it's impossible to trust, impossible to imagine that things may not be as bad as I'm thinking. 

 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

I will not comment further.

[Preety_India]

I'm a troubled person. But I know better now. 

Better judgement has come to me. 

 

[Preety_India]

I feel sad. I don't know what else to say. 

 

[Preety_India]