Dealing with difficult feelings after awakening

[WelcometoReality]

Once you awaken you realize that everything you thought was real was just a dream. You thought you were a separate person living in a world with other separate persons. Some of that illusion falls away on it's own but some might still be left after the awakening.

The awakening and the time after can be a really beautiful time but at some time there might be difficult feelings creeping into experience. Fear, anger, shame, you name it, can still be a part of everyday experience. These are parts of the illusion which haven't fallen away on it's own and will take some conscious effort to dissolve.

For example there can be fear about the implications of the realization itself which you start to run from. How one might ask? By running from the fear. You distract yourself by doing things that make you forget. Gaming, watching TV, reading books. This takes honesty to see.

It's like when you're dreaming at night. You might have a nightmare of a monster who is chasing you. If you knew that it was a dream you would know that you would've nothing to fear because the monster was created by your own mind. 

So how do you deal with the fear about the realization? You face it because there is actually nothing to be afraid of. The fear is the monster itself. By meeting it and feeling it fully it will start to dissolve.

The same is true for anger and shame. They are the proof that you still believe parts of the dream. Inquire into what beliefs you hold onto that makes these feelings manifest.

 

 

[Chakra Lion]

1 hour ago, WelcometoReality said:

So how do you deal with the fear about the realization? You face it because there is actually nothing to be afraid of. The fear is the monster itself. By meeting it and feeling it fully it will start to dissolve.

Nicely said, I can definitely relate.

Personally there are moments when my thoughts create feelings of discomfort. Ive expanded my mind and surrendered myself into realities that have changed my perception permanently. Sometimes when I eat, especially with others, I get grossed out because I see us like literal pigs shoving our faces in food just to survive. The chewing and swallowing, it reminds me that we are animals with needs. And when I poop I think about 7 Billion people all pooping today, and it just gives me anxiety and dissolves me to a parasite that can’t possibly be having a symbiotic relationship with earth. It’s very easy for me to put myself into other peoples or beings shoes and I know I could be just like them. So I get very emotional when I see a homeless person or anyone that doesn’t seem to enjoy reality, like really chubby people. Just thinking from their perspective, and how sad and afraid they must be of all the judgmental looks from others. Being in crowded spaces is also a trip when you realize that every single soul is living a complex life just like you, every second.

[nistake]

Yup. That's why shadow work is crucial. Before and after awakening.

[gettoefl]

samadhi is indistractability, imperturbability, unshakability, impassivity

<Impassibility (from Latin in-, "not", passibilis, "able to suffer, experience emotion") describes the theological doctrine that God does not experience pain or pleasure from the actions of another being.>

[Barna]

I feel like you're missing a higher perspective here. I mean, sure, you can go to the psychological level and think your way through the confusion, and that's very useful for your psyche, I recommend you do that. 

But don't forget that emotions cannot touch who you really are. You are not the emotions, you are the space in which the emotions appear. You are not the one suffering from the pain, you're the space in which the pain is just happening.

Just because you feel fear, it doesn't mean that you have to be afraid. Do you feel the difference here? Feeling fear means that you're aware of the fear. But being afraid means that you've identified yourself with this fear.

[WelcometoReality]

22 minutes ago, Barna said:

I feel like you're missing a higher perspective here. I mean, sure, you can go to the psychological level and think your way through the confusion, and that's very useful for your psyche, I recommend you do that. 

But don't forget that emotions cannot touch who you really are. You are not the emotions, you are the space in which the emotions appear. You are not the one suffering from the pain, you're the space in which the pain is just happening.

Just because you feel fear, it doesn't mean that you have to be afraid. Do you feel the difference here? Feeling fear means that you're aware of the fear. But being afraid means that you've identified yourself with this fear.

Yes, that's exactly what's trying to be communicated here. ?

[Barna]

Oh, that's what you meant by "dream". I guess it makes sense. After awakening, some people redefine themselves as space and some people redefine reality instead as illusion/dream. I guess both of these work to blunt the edge  

[RickyFitts]

On 21/03/2022 at 8:34 AM, WelcometoReality said:

The awakening and the time after can be a really beautiful time but at some time there might be difficult feelings creeping into experience. Fear, anger, shame, you name it, can still be a part of everyday experience. These are parts of the illusion which haven't fallen away on it's own and will take some conscious effort to dissolve.

Yes, this is a very important part of the process for most people. Having a glimpse of awakening can seem to make it all the harder to face these feelings, ironically, because they feel so shitty in contrast to the bliss of spiritual liberation, and there can be a temptation to try to hold onto spiritual truths as a way to avoid having to face these feelings within ourselves. After a while, though, it becomes apparent that this doesn't work and that these feelings have to be faced in order to be truly liberated.

But do you have the stomach for it? I think this is what Jesus meant when he said, 'For many are called, but few are chosen'.

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, RickyFitts said:

Yes, this is a very important part of the process for most people. Having a glimpse of awakening can seem to make it all the harder to face these feelings, ironically, because they feel so shitty in contrast to the bliss of spiritual liberation, and there can be a temptation to try to hold onto spiritual truths as a way to avoid having to face these feelings within ourselves. After a while, though, it becomes apparent that this doesn't work and that these feelings have to be faced in order to be truly liberated.

But do you have the stomach for it? I think this is what Jesus meant when he said, 'For many are called, but few are chosen'.

Yes, this certainly has been true for me. Avoiding these feelings only prolongs the suffering and knowing that might perhaps serve as a motivator to face them.

 

[RickyFitts]

46 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

Yes, this certainly has been true for me. Avoiding these feelings only prolongs the suffering and knowing that might perhaps serve as a motivator to face them.

 

Yep, and for me too - it's a lesson I learnt the hard way, too! You're absolutely right in what you say about the avoidance of such feelings perpetuating the suffering, though that avoidance is so instinctual that it tends to be extremely challenging to actually allow yourself to feel the pain, discomfort, etc. But recognising that there's no other way around it is an important first step.

[Breakingthewall]

the main problem imo is that many have an awakening experience or several, but later, in their normal life, they are completely trapped in the illusion of separation. this creates a lot of confusion since awakening is incorporated as a belief, and you are in no man's land. For me, the solution to this is serious and constant meditation to prevent the ego's barriers from rising again. 

if there is constant openness, the problems are approached from another angle and the solution is possible

[WelcometoReality]

4 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

the main problem imo is that many have an awakening experience or several, but later, in their normal life, they are completely trapped in the illusion of separation. this creates a lot of confusion since awakening is incorporated as a belief, and you are in no man's land. For me, the solution to this is serious and constant meditation to prevent the ego's barriers from rising again. 

if there is constant openness, the problems are approached from another angle and the solution is possible

Yes. There's definitely a learning curve to this. Depending on how much ego falls away it might be unavoidable.