Is sex desire/hunger the cause of neediness?

[Javfly33]

Or there is another cause?

When Girls i like give me some attention, why i end Up sending them 20 messages and fuck things Up ??

Edited March 19, 2022 by Javfly33

[somegirl]

@Javfly33 Because you don't have abundance mindset but a scarcity one. 

If you thought you were "the guy" and had numerious options, you would act differently.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

When Girls i like give me some attention, why i end Up sending them 20 messages and fuck things Up ?

A good rule is to try and match her investment in the text convo, and don’t ever let yourself break that rule

[Lyubov]

I don’t think you can really fake abundance though. obviously a tough position gets better when you get life experience with women and are better able to get your needs met but if you live in a town with three fat chicks and one looker, yeah you will be a little needy. 

[Leo Gura]

No, not just sex. It could also be loneliness and a desire for companionship or intimacy or feminine energy or even just validation that you are attractive.

Sometimes you just want a girl to tell you you're handsome so you can feel handsome.

[puporing]

Lack of quality relationships in your life in general can make you do that - like if you can't be yourself around anyone except for a potential mate.

[Tudo]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

I don’t think you can really fake abundance though. 

I really disagree with you on this. 

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, Tudo said:

I really disagree with you on this. 

I mean, It’s possible to swap around  beliefs so a person can feel better and be more resourceful and get themselves to actual abundance but you either have the numbers / access or your don’t. You can’t always just change a belief and it automatically solves your foundational issues. It can but not always and may require other stuff. It’s like saying you aren’t broke but your bank balance is $0. You either have abundance and that reach or you don’t. 

Edited March 19, 2022 by Lyubov

[Tudo]

7 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

I mean, It’s possible to swap around  beliefs so a person can feel better and be more resourceful and get themselves to actual abundance but you either have the numbers / access or your don’t. You can’t always just change a belief and it automatically solves your foundational issues. It can but not always and may require other stuff. It’s like saying you aren’t broke but your bank balance is $0. You either have abundance and that reach or you don’t. 

Well, at the end of the day, it's me who decides if I'm going to text some person or not, for example. If I'm going to be needy or not. And I think you underestimating the capacity of non-sexual/romantic stuff of fulfilling someone's life. 

[Tudo]

@Lyubov David Deida says there are alot of ways of fulfilling your need for feminine energy, like focusing on the present moment and other stuff like nature ( It does really help me, especially here in Brazil where nature is just fucking marvelous), and other kinds of stuff. Besides that, remember that you always have feminine and masculine energy WITHIN you.

Edited March 19, 2022 by Tudo

[Lyubov]

14 minutes ago, Tudo said:

@Lyubov David Deida says there are alot of ways of fulfilling your need for feminine energy, like focusing on the present moment and other stuff like nature ( It does really help me, especially here in Brazil where nature is just fucking marvelous), and other kinds of stuff. Besides that, remember that you always have feminine and masculine energy WITHIN you.

Sure, if that works for you then I’m happy for you. There are other ways to get those needs met for sure. I’m just speaking about dating and women from my perspective. It’s hard to fake having a girlfriend if you don’t or can’t get laid, but there are other ways to get fulfillment and perhaps those needs met for sure and those ways may even open up space for women.

[Javfly33]

19 hours ago, something_else said:

A good rule is to try and match her investment in the text convo, and don’t ever let yourself break that rule

Thats kinda nonsense imo.

15 hours ago, Lyubov said:

I mean, It’s possible to swap around  beliefs so a person can feel better and be more resourceful and get themselves to actual abundance but you either have the numbers / access or your don’t. You can’t always just change a belief and it automatically solves your foundational issues. It can but not always and may require other stuff. It’s like saying you aren’t broke but your bank balance is $0. You either have abundance and that reach or you don’t. 

?? I think its a balance.

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No, not just sex. It could also be loneliness and a desire for companionship or intimacy or feminine energy or even just validation that you are attractive.

Sometimes you just want a girl to tell you you're handsome so you can feel handsome.

Interesting, I have to contemplate in those aspects too. 

[soos_mite_ah]

No, I would say much of neediness comes from things like trauma, a shitty attachment style, a lack of standards,lack of quality relationships in other areas of life, self esteem issues, etc. because neediness is a form of validation seeking and an inablility to be by yourself. Even if you find yourself in a position where you are getting your sexual needs met, you're still going to be neurotically gripping onto those experience whether it is in the form of clinging onto one person or compulsively looking for sex by sleeping around in an unhealthy way. 

I personally know a lot of people who are physically and emotionally thristy for sex and relationships but aren't needy, myself included. Sometimes you just go through a dry spell and that's ok. Sure it's a little uncomfortable in the sense you aren't scratching a certain itch but it isn't so bad to where you are willing to throw yourself at people regardless of the outcome. I may be thristy, but I'm not about to drink rat poison to quench that thirst. 

Edited March 20, 2022 by soos_mite_ah

[vladorion]

The cause of neediness is not having your needs met when you were a child.

Having sex with lots of hot women etc. is just a cover up.