Can Spiritual work heal my Anger Issues?

[capriciousduck]

Have you watched these videos? I think they might help you (they helped me). Both are on Leo's channel.

 

 

 

Basically, what motivated me to not be angry is how powerful (mentally strong) I can be if I don't get angry. What motivates you?

I got inspired by the quote of Bruce Lee.

[BuddhistLover]

On 3/19/2022 at 0:18 PM, Leo Gura said:

Mystical experiences of God's Love will certainly help with that.

Fundamentally you're angry because you didn't get the love you feel you deserved. Denial of love lead to hurt which lead to anger.

I agree man, when people don't feel loved. They get resentful, and turn manipulative. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Kksd74628 I like to share with you a thought which came up when reading this thread, and I'm curious how it is for you.

I project this dynamic on your interaction in this thread, and perhaps it's true for you too: Just today I let go of helping a former friend of mine. I hold her close to my heart. I wanted to support and guide her in recognizing the self-destructive stories she believes. It came from good intentions. I thought I wanted to help her to alleviate her suffering, but it was about me putting my agenda and will on her. It was me putting my desire on her for her to change. And she doesn't want to change. In fact, she views any attempt of me to "help her" as an attack because I put my agenda on her. My unwanted help is like me slapping her.

Do you notice that in this thread? To clarify what I mean: What you write with good intentions (your first post in this thread) can be interpreted as pushing advice on someone. When one has a particular lens, one can see every good intention as condescending, manipulative etc. That is okay. We all do that every time when we read, interpret and understand any writing. The thing is that when viewing your post through this lens it then changes its form. The good intention comes with an energy of "I want you to change to feel better myself" which wears the clothes of "I am here to help you to feel better".

Here is a quote which can be seen as "I want you to change":

Quote

PS. I asked it in the past also, but why do you keep changing your profile picture daily and why do you have other female pictures in it, because that crashes your self-esteem even more, just saying.

^ In this context these questions are not coming from curiousity but from judgement. I don't like the name askholes for it and yet, these are not questions to get unknown information. ... I don't think that you are a bad person. Only the way you wrote makes it seem so.

Here are some assumptions:

Quote

Use this community to share love instead of posting negative stuff here constantly, because otherwise this opportunity to grow just becomes act of poisoning others. I authentically want to help you and be on your side, but I won't participate to say nice things just to meet your desires to get "love" from others. I don't see any use for people everlastingly upping your mood via nice comments, because the mood will crash as fast as it went high for a moment. You need to generate the love you need from within you, because otherwise you will build - if you haven't built already - neediness of positive messages to you and that will never make you truly happy and you know it. You actually know what you should do and what could be the next step towards your dream life, but you just wont do it, because you fear unknownness more that you hate the present moment and that keeps you from progressing.

Of course, assumptions are the only way to form a picture of someone. And still, the quote above has a charging energy to it which is accusatory. I made the parts bold which are assumptions and carry the accusatory energy. Any writing like this can easily be interpreted as coming from a perpetrator who wants to make the addressee a victim.

Especially the "you" has a lot of perpetrator energy in it. In non-violent communication the "you" is replaced by "I". "I think", "I assume", "From what I read it seems to me..." etc. It takes the charge out and makes it more impersonal. It's then not the person itself which gets criticized, but it's the specific actions of the person. When speaking from personal experience "I", it then is much more connecting. Speaking from "I" is sharing one's inner world and making oneself vulnerable. When the inner world is projected out onto someone (with "you") it then has a quality of putting the person into a box. It is putting the person into one's own inner world, and that can feel like abuse to the person.

It's more vulnerable, connecting and caring when writing, "Hey, just wanted to check in because I am worried about you and I see that you might be not living up to your potential. My worry comes from reading all the stuff you write, which I think is negatively impacting you and is unhealthy." This is not how I think and advise how you should write. It is just to make the vulnerability point more clear.

Quote

I authentically want to help you and be on your side

Quote

With love -joNi-

^ This shows your good intention. And yet, it can be also perceived as a mask to hide behind in order to veil attack or abuse.

I am curious for your answer and how you see the dynamic @Kksd74628. I too like to see how much stuff I project on you (e.g. the story with my former friend) and what you recognize as true for you.

Edited March 22, 2022 by Loving Radiance

[Spence94]

@Preety_India So there are the daily practices like meditation, diet, movement, nature, journaling etc. that help us manage our mind. Then there is the work to process and heal the trauma that causes the 'dysfunction'. 

"According to Gabor Mate, it's not that important to look for the precise cause of Trauma, the important point is that Trauma is the lost of connection with you authentic self as a protective mechanism to face the traumatic event, usually an unconscious choice to choose attachment over authenticity. So, the healing is to reconnect to that authenticity, through discussion, artistic expressions, etc."- My Life coach.

Perhaps be helpful to hire a coach or a therapist to help you heal and return to authenticity. Then the the meditation will also become more calming and healing itself too. 

[Ry4n]

No, only healing trauma will help (in your case but also in most cases).
Beware of spiritual bypassing. 

[Spence94]

2 hours ago, Ry4n said:

No, only healing trauma will help (in your case but also in most cases).
Beware of spiritual bypassing. 

I am Guilty of  'spiritual bypassing'. Learned the hard way.  It can play out in many areas.

Edited March 22, 2022 by Spence94

[Razard86]

On 3/19/2022 at 5:16 PM, Preety_India said:

I don't like people who end their post "with love" yet don't show even an iota of love in their post. The exact type of people I always avoid, the insincere ones. 

The one that triggers my anger the most is insincerity and lack of genuineness. I say straight to the face, instead of going behind the back. So anyone with insincerity is quickly detected in my mental system one way or another. 

Sometimes my anger is good, it's my system reacting to bullshit. It's my system alerting me to it thus protecting me from any further damage to my system, like a survival mechanism. That's why I honor anger, pure stage red survival in an unloving environment. 

I have avoided replying  to your posts because they generally lack sensitivity to my problems, it's like someone saying childish things to something really serious. I understand that you want to help me, but your post is not helpful at all. Maybe work on empathy training before you write to me or simply avoid writing to me since it is like adding fuel to my fire. I am a trauma victim and certain things you say can actually resurface my trauma, if I were in your place, I would be very careful about how I set the frame knowing beforehand what type of person I'm talking to, in this case it's a trauma victim like me. I have survived things you cannot imagine. 

Responding to the first part of your post - yea anger can come from being misunderstood yet I did not like your phrasing. I'm not in any middle ground, action does not happen overnight nor is it easy as you say it. I don't hate myself, I hate aspects of myself, that's a huge difference because I'm looking for self growth and I'm getting there inch by inch. I have progressed an awful lot if you have carefully followed me on this forum. You don't know me personally so you don't know shit about my journey. I haven't progressed fast enough yet my overall progress is massive if you have followed me all the way through from post number 1. It is silly to say that I am not progressing simply because I talk about my challenges. 

People come here to express their problems and seek solutions to those problems. That's the nature of this place, and if you can't accept that, then you are in the wrong place. This is not a dancing community of happy people. All kinds of traumatized, depressed, vulnerable people come here to seek help and work on their issues at their own pace. If you think you can't handle someone's problems or feel bad after reading it, then simply push the ignore button and don't read it. If someone is battling alcoholism and writing how they relapsed and document their struggle, I won't call it poisoning others but I'll respect their struggles. My private struggles are none of your business by the way, and if you don't like it, then avoid reading it, but of course people with problems are going to be here, some have worse problems than others, only the degree is different. 

I do share helpful things with people, that's how I show love, but I'm fully within my right to express my worries and thoughts too, that's what help is meant for. So don't try to block me getting help 

Responding to your second part of your post - I don't need your love nor your advice. Nobody is upping my mood, people simply give useful suggestions. So spare me your uppers, I don't need them. If someone says something positive, it's called community support to someone who needs it, so if I get community support, it's actually good for me, you don't need to give it if you don't feel like, but there are others who are supportive and understanding and they aren't doing anything wrong. I only feel better and if someone is surrounded by a supportive community, it actually helps their trauma, - learn basics of mental health before commenting to me. I don't come here for ego boosting so you don't need to support me. Others who are more matured and understanding, leave it to them. 

I don't fear any unknownNess, you don't know shit about me. 

My profile picture is the least of my concerns. I do it for aesthetic and artistic reasons. It has zero impact on my self esteem 

Stop speculating when you don't know me at all.

I'm tired of the tone you adopt while writing to me. I would suggest you to avoid future communication with me, because instead of being helpful, it turns my whole agenda into a personal debate and I don't appreciate that. Your response is not only insensitive, it's not helpful at all. It's harshly critical and most importantly not resonating with my personal truth at all, like I said you don't know me personally so a lot of what you are saying is just pure assumption/projection that doesn't resonate. 

Don't ask me anymore questions and I'm not interesting in debating you on here, so simply avoid me instead of creating deliberate misunderstanding and then feeding on it. 

 

 

The person who posted that message to you was VERY sincere in fact your reaction to their post actually reveals somethings. 1. They do have love for you otherwise they would not have spent the time to write the post they wrote. 2. They already stated in the post that they have spoken in the past so the fact they are replying again means they care. 3. Their expression of love is very masculine and direct. 4. You only want them to respond to you in a nurturing form, and not a direct to the point way. 4. This means you have a resistance to masculine love expression and could mean you had issues with the Men in your early life. 

Here is something that people fight but it is the ultimate truth about life. Every event in your life, my life and our lives is NEUTRAL. We PROJECT onto each event that it is good or bad based on our PREFERENCES. We then FEEL these preferences emotionally and it VALIDATES our perception as the TRUTH to us. Every perception has an element of truth to it, but NO perception is ABSOLUTE TRUTH but God's. The more preferences you have in life the more anger, irritability, impatience, and suffering you will have. 

To release your preferences you must first solve one problem. Your feelings of shame and guilt. You must first realize your Self-worth. Leo did a video that proved absolutely that existence is absolute Love. What this means that EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS is ABSOLUTE LOVE.

So by virtue of existing YOU ARE LOVE, stop denying yourself your love. You have a RIGHT to EXIST, you have a RIGHT to experience SELF-LOVE. You have a right to EXPERIENCE YOUR EMOTIONS WHATEVER THEY ARE. Like someone else said, don't run from negative emotions EXPERIENCE THEM. Emotions are COMPLETELY NORMAL. As long as you reject parts of you your higher self will keep sending towards you the parts of yourself you reject. This is what HELL IS, HELL is the rejection of GOD. Hell isn't some mythical imaginary place it is SELF-DELUSION, the REJECTION OF SELF.

 

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Razard86 said:

As long as you reject parts of you your higher self will keep sending towards you the parts of yourself you reject. This is what HELL IS, HELL is the rejection of GOD. Hell isn't some mythical imaginary place it is SELF-DELUSION, the REJECTION OF SELF.

What do you mean by this? 

Which parts have I rejected? 

Which parts are being sent to me? 

Please be direct with me. 

 

[gettoefl]

a-nother n-ot g-ood e-go r-eplies

a-lgo n-ot g-od r-eally y-ou

[Preety_India]

@Razard86 FUCK MASCULINITY AND MASCULINE LOVE

 

 

[Michael Jackson]

15 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Razard86 FUCK MASCULINITY AND MASCULINE LOVE

 

 

@Preety_India ??

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Michael Jackson said:

@Preety_India ??

I don't care 

[Federico del pueblo]

36 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Razard86 FUCK MASCULINITY AND MASCULINE LOVE

 

 

Where did that come from? ?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Federico del pueblo said:

Where did that come from? ?

No idea. 

 

[Kksd74628]

@Loving Radiance

Only thing I can say is that I am honest right NOW saying that I didn't project any demons or I didn't want to judge, but just help and that is my point why I am on this forum : ) I have accepted that not everyone can understand you or like you and that's not your problem, but based on their preferences and perspective. You can either take my words or doubt it, but I say that I never wanted any negativity to anyone and my way of saying things varies and I use that which I see which works best way. Of course I may make mistakes.

@Razard86

Almost everything you said I agree!

 

[SOUL]

6 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Here is something that people fight but it is the ultimate truth about life. Every event in your life, my life and our lives is NEUTRAL.

Neutral huh? Every event in life is neutral and only 'preferences' is why someone would think it's other than neutral?

Let me also ask if you believe everybody chose their life, maybe even before they were born, and everything that happens to them?

Do you believe the 'law of attraction'? That people can and do bring everything that happens to them into their life?

I'm not talking just about the perception based on belief, preference or opinion about what happens, you think everything is actually 'neutral', has no positive or negative effect however one might characterize it, it's completely neutral?

[Preety_India]

27 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Loving Radiance

Only thing I can say is that I am honest right NOW saying that I didn't project any demons or I didn't want to judge, but just help and that is my point why I am on this forum : ) I have accepted that not everyone can understand you or like you and that's not your problem, but based on their preferences and perspective. You can either take my words or doubt it, but I say that I never wanted any negativity to anyone and my way of saying things varies and I use that which I see which works best way. Of course I may make mistakes.

@Razard86

Almost everything you said I agree!

 

Stop arguing on my thread. You aren't solving my problems only claiming your superiority and looking for validation for your goddamn pathetic assumptions and opinions. 

Stop targeting me with your assumptions. 

When I said it's not helpful then it's not helpful. Stop pushing yourself on me. 

I'm getting fed up with your behavior.

Edited March 22, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Razard86 @Kksd74628 I need you both to stop arguing on my thread because I'm asking for suggestions and I am not finding anything helpful in your posts. So try luck elsewhere and let me be in peace. 

Just stop being rude and argumentative 

 

Its not helpful. 

I'm going to stop communicating with both of you. 

 

Edited March 22, 2022 by Preety_India

[Loving Radiance]

@Kksd74628 Thanks for the response. All the best to you ?

[Razard86]

8 hours ago, SOUL said:

Neutral huh? Every event in life is neutral and only 'preferences' is why someone would think it's other than neutral?

Let me also ask if you believe everybody chose their life, maybe even before they were born, and everything that happens to them?

Do you believe the 'law of attraction'? That people can and do bring everything that happens to them into their life?

I'm not talking just about the perception based on belief, preference or opinion about what happens, you think everything is actually 'neutral', has no positive or negative effect however one might characterize it, it's completely neutral?

Yes. Only from our selfishness do we think something is good or bad. Think about it. Love is acceptance. Anything you love you desire for it to exist. Hatred is the denial of existence. For something to exist that God created it, it would have to exist because God loves it. So infinity loves all of creation. There is no value, that is a creation of a finite self that has needs, wants/desires. Based on the preference of that finite self good/bad exists, valuable and not valuable exists. So obviously from a finite perspective events are either negative or positive. This is one of the toughest concepts to grip, and even if you can grip it intellectually it is even harder to grip it emotionally.

11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Razard86 FUCK MASCULINITY AND MASCULINE LOVE

 

 

Umm that is sexist....so you kind of made my point.

 

12 hours ago, Preety_India said:

What do you mean by this? 

Which parts have I rejected? 

Which parts are being sent to me? 

Please be direct with me. 

 

What I meant was what I said. We all have parts about our selves that we may not be proud of and instead of acknowledging these parts we pretend we don't have them. Then when we see someone with those parts we demonize them. 

What parts have you rejected? You literally said f*** masculinity so you just rejected the masculine energy you have inside. This also means you hold resentment to men who are very direct.

Which parts are being sent to you? Whatever parts you reject. So whatever you say you "hate" about "others" or "yourself" are the parts you reject. As a result those parts are the ones you will continue to experience. You will experience it in a couple ways.

1. Whatever you hate you will be highly sensitive too, so you will experience it at higher frequency as a result

2. You may try to be the "OPPOSITE" of whatever you hate in yourself which will cause you to attract people who are the OPPOSITE of how you present yourself. Ex. If you believe being aggressive or assertive is wrong, you may act nervous or unsure and will attract aggressive or assertive people.

3. You will randomly and sometimes through triggers (things that remind you of trauma and repressed emotions) act out the behaviors you reject in your self and without self-observation not even notice when you do it.

In psychology they call this the shadow. You must incorporate the shadow (the parts you don't like about yourself) to become whole.