Can Spiritual work heal my Anger Issues?

[Preety_India]

I have anger issues. It took past 2 years to realize that I have anger issues. 

I don't like myself anymore. I'm always angry. 

I try to control. But I feel like breaking things when I get upset. 

The feeling of "hurt" can drive me nuts. I can go crazy when I'm angry or provoked. I was bullied as a child. 

On days when I meditate im calm. 

What more can I do to subdue myself? 

 

[puporing]

Anger has an underlying feeling of sadness and loss. You could try writing out all that is making you feel angry (and I know you have on this forum but there's probably more). Maybe write a pretend letter to your mom without reservation, maybe have a trusted person read this out loud (or a therapist if you can afford that). If you can find a child-centered therapist/healer that would also help tremendously. 

And this for reference on grieving: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c95sfyv-M8M

Edited March 19, 2022 by puporing

[Tristan12]

I would focus more on emotional work for dealing with anger issues. If you try to use spirituality as a solution (depending on specifically what you use) you will most likely just end up bypassing your anger or cutting yourself off from it and not actually healing or resolving anything.

Let yourself feel everything you're feeling, and know that its completely okay. Don't try to make yourself change. Once you become fully allowing of these emotions and minimize your resistance to them, they will become much easier to deal with.

[Preety_India]

@puporing @Tristan12 very helpful tips. Thank you. 

[thisintegrated]

You might wanna look into the enneagram.  You might just be an 8.  8s have specific strengths/weaknesses/fears, and if you understand them you'll understand your emotions better.

[JonasVE12]

Find a somatic therapist who understands emotional embodiment well and they can guide you to getting in touch with parts of your body that need to be integrated. You probably have heard a hundred times that emotions get stored in the body. Yet almost nobody understand how to get in touch with them and release them. A lot of body work is shallow, but if you can get deeply into somatic therapy with a conscious therapist, that is the key to energetically shifting your emotions, and slowly embodying the desired polarities. Your body is like a conduit. External experiences come into the body, and often trigger those sensitive parts that need to be healed, and then cause all sorts of distortion. After a lot of body work you will feel like experiences go into the earth, through you. Practice things going through you instead of distancing them from you. You can practice this with sounds for example. Have someone clap in front of you and use the clap to deeper and deeper let go into the now, into acceptance and peace. Eventually you can do that with emotions. But definitely find a somatic therapist, that will work best. 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, JonasVE12 said:

Find a somatic therapist who understands emotional embodiment well and they can guide you to getting in touch with parts of your body that need to be integrated. You probably have heard a hundred times that emotions get stored in the body. Yet almost nobody understand how to get in touch with them and release them. A lot of body work is shallow, but if you can get deeply into somatic therapy with a conscious therapist, that is the key to energetically shifting your emotions, and slowly embodying the desired polarities. Your body is like a conduit. External experiences come into the body, and often trigger those sensitive parts that need to be healed, and then cause all sorts of distortion. After a lot of body work you will feel like experiences go into the earth, through you. Practice things going through you instead of distancing them from you. You can practice this with sounds for example. Have someone clap in front of you and use the clap to deeper and deeper let go into the now, into acceptance and peace. Eventually you can do that with emotions. But definitely find a somatic therapist, that will work best. 

Do you have a helpful video on this? 

(thanks for this information though) 

 

[JonasVE12]

24 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Do you have a helpful video on this? 

(thanks for this information though) 

 

I would encourage to go differently about it. The reason for why transformation is difficult is because of how much information we are absorbing on a daily basis. Our mind is so thick and dense with information, and the more information, the more difficult it becomes to channel the right stuff into the body. Hypnosis back in the 19s, was a lot more powerful than now. Partially because there was no internet and a lot less information that we consume. The activity of the mind was a lot less and the body was a lot more in tune. I would connect back to that sense of letting go of needing information and just searching for a good somatic therapist and trust the process intuitively. You have probably studied a lot of concepts already, and have a lot of knowledge. If you would go explore this subject through online information, that can be a trap, because the information is very much presented in a way that is not specific to you, a lot of it gets filtered out subconsciously because you feel like it does not apply to you. How would it feel to just let go of the need to understand this, and just go find a somatic therapist? In worst case, you do not resonate with it. Go to 10 different somatic therapists though and stick with the one that resonates with you the most. I do not know the quality of somatic therapists in your country, choose well.

[OBEler]

I also would recommend a somatic therapist. 

Spirituality will not fix this really from my experience. 

Also consider that you may have low serotonin. You could have depression also, not just Anger issues.

 

[WelcometoReality]

@Preety_India Look into The Work by Byron Katie. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIuCvUJWMfM&t=26

She also has a worksheet on her site that will help you get started.

[Kksd74628]

@Preety_India

Anger comes from non-acceptance of that you were hurt. It can also be way to express yourself when you feel like you haven't been understood, heard or accepted. I commented in the past to you that you need to the action NOW and accept your life like it is right NOW or then change it, but staying in the middle ground won't ever make the difference and that place is also called as hell. Stop adding more gasoline into fire by hating yourself, because if you don't love yourself then no one can fix the problem for you. Know that you are important and useful for your surrounding people and start seeing yourself in path to happiness rather than in trap of not progressing.

Use this community to share love instead of posting negative stuff here constantly, because otherwise this opportunity to grow just becomes act of poisoning others. I authentically want to help you and be on your side, but I won't participate to say nice things just to meet your desires to get "love" from others. I don't see any use for people everlastingly upping your mood via nice comments, because the mood will crash as fast as it went high for a moment. You need to generate the love you need from within you, because otherwise you will build - if you haven't built already - neediness of positive messages to you and that will never make you truly happy and you know it. You actually know what you should do and what could be the next step towards your dream life, but you just wont do it, because you fear unknownness more that you hate the present moment and that keeps you from progressing.

PS. I asked it in the past also, but why do you keep changing your profile picture daily and why do you have other female pictures in it, because that crashes your self-esteem even more, just saying.

With love -joNi-

[Loving Radiance]

Hey Preety,

Emotional Release Tools are good for that: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLKmB51wF7NlDZgRnxUlt7BF60VQtciuH

Be sure to use them in a place where you cannot be interrupted. Do them till the energy subsides. Give yourself time after that to integrate and be gentle with yourself.

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, Loving Radiance said:

Hey Preety,

Emotional Release Tools are good for that: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLKmB51wF7NlDZgRnxUlt7BF60VQtciuH

Be sure to use them in a place where you cannot be interrupted. Do them till the energy subsides. Give yourself time after that to integrate and be gentle with yourself.

Thank you for sharing. I like your name is Loving Radiance. 

Lately I have been thinking of loving Radiance. 

 

[SOUL]

I inherited some anger issues and the environment of my youth added to that but what helped me the most was not 'endorsing' the feeling, that would amplify it. It also helped me to have healthy and creative outlet for that energy, too.

For me drumming is one of those things, I also busted up alot of firewood and carved stone. Things that simulate aggressive or destructive behavior but isn't really that at all. Dance could be in that mold, athletics as well, whatever it is that will expend that energy in a healthy way.

Then when any anger in the monkey mind is triggered I found it easier to not empower it or be sucked in to the cycle. It's not an easy process to dampen this energy though and the monkey mind will not let go of this habituation quickly but will return to it quickly,

Edited March 19, 2022 by SOUL

[Federico del pueblo]

11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I have anger issues. It took past 2 years to realize that I have anger issues. 

I don't like myself anymore. I'm always angry. 

I try to control. But I feel like breaking things when I get upset. 

The feeling of "hurt" can drive me nuts. I can go crazy when I'm angry or provoked. I was bullied as a child. 

On days when I meditate im calm. 

What more can I do to subdue myself? 

 

Honestly what will imo help you much faster and more effectively with anger issues is working with some kind of emotional release technique.

I'm using EFT (tapping,) on all kinds of emotions, including anger, and I'm getting much less triggered by now.

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, SOUL said:

I inherited some anger issues and the environment of my youth added to that but what helped me the most was not 'endorsing' the feeling, that would amplify it. It also helped me to have healthy and creative outlet for that energy, too.

For me drumming is one of those things, I also busted up alot of firewood and carved stone. Things that simulate aggressive or destructive behavior but isn't really that at all. Dance could be in that mold, athletics as well, whatever it is that will expend that energy in a healthy way.

Then when any anger in the monkey mind is triggered I found it easier to not empower it or be sucked in to the cycle. It's not an easy process to dampen this energy though and the monkey mind will not let go of this habituation quickly but will return to it quickly,

 

17 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Honestly what will imo help you much faster and more effectively with anger issues is working with some kind of emotional release technique.

I'm using EFT (tapping,) on all kinds of emotions, including anger, and I'm getting much less triggered by now.

Very helpful. Thank you guys. 

 

[gettoefl]

anger is the belief, the world has wronged me and i need to assert myself and right that wrong

contemplate this

then ask has an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth ever worked to bring harmony trust peace

[axiom]

Book yourself on to a 10 day silent mediation retreat (Vipassana). By the second or third day, you will be dying to get out of there, but if you persist, and you do it with full commitment, it will be so, so worth it. It will also probably be the hardest thing you've ever done.

This will increase your emotional pain tolerance significantly, and you will begin to understand the root of your anger as it evaporates. As a bonus you may have a significant awakening experience.

Good luck!

 

[Loving Radiance]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

anger is the belief, the world has wronged me and i need to assert myself and right that wrong

contemplate this

then ask has an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth ever worked to bring harmony trust peace

Anger doesn't respond to rationality. It just wants to be seen and felt.

[gettoefl]

4 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Anger doesn't respond to rationality. It just wants to be seen and felt.

you are correct yet to see you have to first know what is being talked about