Is it okay to be called a bitch in a relationship?

[Preety_India]

How fair or okay is it to be called a "bitch" in a relationship during an argument? 

How many times until it is not okay? 

What if a man calls you a bitch only once during an argument? 

Should the relationship be broken over it or should there be second chances? 

 

[SamC]

Red flag ( also congrats on your infinte love realization) I'm happy for you

[Thought Art]

It depends on you and your partner. Can you both hold each other and yourselves accountable to your boundaries and improve how you relate from this?

if not, then you may have to decide. 

[Leo Gura]

Not healthy.

Such a relationship will not last long.

There needs to be an agreement not to insult each other. Once that line is crossed it cannot be uncrossed.

[gettoefl]

the b-word to a woman is the n-word to a black person is the f-word to a gay person (fa*) is the a-word to a man (arsehole)

inflammatory and unacceptable

[Leo Gura]

I've been called a "fucking asshole". It's not the same n-word.

[gettoefl]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

I've been called a "fucking asshole". It's not the same n-word.

can destroy a relationship imo ... but if you have a vibe where that is acceptable for you to say and to have it said at you ... then there's no problem ... same with the b-word, some folks roll like that

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I've been called a "fucking asshole". It's not the same n-word.

I actually called him a "fucking asshole" and now I'm feeling guilty as hell. 

I also called him "fucking pig." 

I didn't have control over my anger. 

I don't know how to express anger in a way that actually won't hurt. 

For me anger is accompanied with those kind of words. 

I'm feeling sick with guilt over my impulsivity. 

 

 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Preety_India

[gettoefl]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I actually called him a "fucking asshole" and now I'm feeling guilty as hell. 

I also called him "fucking pig." 

I didn't have control over my anger. 

I don't know how to express anger in a way that actually won't hurt. 

For me anger is accompanied with those kind of words. 

I'm feeling sick with guilt over my impulsivity. 

 

 

with such words, the 1st time you say them to another is huge, it a watershed moment

sometimes it can't be recovered from ... other times it is just a heated argument but relationship has entered new disrespectful territory afterwards

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

with such words, the 1st time you say them to another is huge, it a watershed moment

sometimes it can't be recovered from ... other times it is just a heated argument but relationship has entered new disrespectful territory afterwards

I'm dying in guilt and shame. 

I wish there was a way to be angry that would be very intense but not hurtful. 

Because I don't like to keep things simmering inside. I wear my heart on my sleeve so I get emotional and bark it out like a dog bark.

That's my feisty nature. 

Later I calm down on my own and forgive the other person. 

It's hard for me to not get angry if I'm hurt deep down. 

My emotions have to expressed in the most violent ways or else I feel smothered and suffocated. 

 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Preety_India

[gettoefl]

after bad words we and they become damaged goods

we see each other through new eyes

can be salvaged

takes time and forgiveness ... but the cat is out of the bag and cannot return

[Preety_India]

Please don't say that. At least there should be a way around this and some forgiveness, some leeway 

 

I feel so punished. 

 

 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Preety_India

[gettoefl]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Please don't say that. At least there should be a way around this and some forgiveness, some leeway 

 

I feel so punished. 

 

 

it is solvable like i said but you have entered the worldly relationship realm now instead of divine relationship ... it is just my opinion

for me fights leave scars

[Preety_India]

Without fights how will you grow 

[Thought Art]

56 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Not healthy.

Such a relationship will not last long.

There needs to be an agreement not to insult each other. Once that line is crossed it cannot be uncrossed.

It’s not about making an agreement though. 

People name call in relationships. Then, it’s up to them if they wanna address that consciously.

Yeah, it likely won’t last. But that’s true of a lot of relationships.

but, my parents name called and have been married 40 years…

People get angry, say stuff. 
 

its not about making logical agreements to not name call it’s about hearing each other out and growing lovingly through these things to grow as partners and spiritual beings. But, both partners must be willing to partake.

it depends on the situation and is contextual of course

You need to be able to tell if this is an abusive pattern or you two just got caught up in some unconscious moments and have already developed a healthy level of trust, intimacy and vulnerability. 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Thought Art

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

You need to be able to tell if this is an abusive pattern or you two just got caught up in some unconscious moments and have already developed a healthy level of trust, intimacy and vulnerability. 

I'd say it's an abusive pattern if it happens and the other person does not take accountability for saying such words or they repeat it way too often to feel healthy about it. Especially if they are also not ready to resolve what caused them to say such things in the first place. I think that's a big red flag. If they got that angry to the point that they had to resort to name calling then they should have a solid reason for it, or else it is really abusive. 

But if the communication is healthy and each can put up with some anger and don't mind it too much, it can also reflect trust, vulnerability and allowing each other room to bark and get angry without taking offense. 

After all there should be an outlet for anger and fiery emotions 

Only trust, intimacy and vulnerability can allow space for such emotional outbursts to take place. 

 

 

[gettoefl]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Without fights how will you grow 

anger is something we need to get on top of in relationship

it is important but has to appropriate and respectful

out of control anger is unacceptable

fix you first then love me

[Yarco]

Only in bed while he's choking you

[puporing]

Could look into "Non-violent communication". Comes down to communicating your feelings without resorting to harmful language/put downs. If they can't do that with you then it's not a good match for you in the long run.

 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, puporing said:

Could look into "Non-violent communication". Comes down to communicating your feelings without resorting to harmful language/put downs. If they can't do that with you then it's not a good match for you in the long run.

 

Can anyone give me an example of how this communication will look like?