Almost 30 and ready to find joy and lightness

[LittleYoga]

Hello,

I rarely log in into this account but I stalk Leos opinions in the forum periodically and read on topics I enjoy. 

I think it would be fun to read in a few months what I was up to in my self actualization journey. 

2017 Few things Id like to mention - I did Leo`s Life purpose course in 2017 (?) I think and I loved it. It was hard (going through all of the videos in the beginning...) but it  was worth it. In retrospect I focused 100% on work in the course and as of 2022 I must say that I accomplished all that I set out to do. My boyfriend thought I was crazy with all the affirmations for 90 days ... and I thought I would not make it, however I did ! (first and last time i stuck through such a resolution) and without giving away too much personal info I won a residency where there is an opening for one person every 1-2-3 years. Sometimes five years pass without a new resident. Crazy competitive to get into the program and I was competing with one of the professors sons.

I was the youngest and I won the spot.

My parents told me it could not be accomplished, I was told to go away and not even apply by four of the people working there and now one of them offered me a job. I was offered to teach and to work for one of the people who told me in 2017 that it would be simply impossible to get into the program.  

I dont believe I could have  persevered through all the "No"s without the mental preparation I did with the course, so thank you, Leo. I knew 100% what I wanted and I did not allow myself to get distracted. I love my job, I am good at it and in 4 years Im going to be a millionaire, which is also nice.

So if anyone is wondering if he or she should try the program- if you do the work you will get great results. I got a lot of insight about myself and a lot of answers about some problems I faced. But he is not going to spill out everything for you. You need to do the work. 

 2018 -Went to an OSHO retreat and after 3 days there of meditating I went home and tried mushrooms for the first time - was in an afterglow state for one month atleast (best memories ever) had crazy amount of luck, which was also strange. In that time I quadrupled my monthly earnings, so I guess I worked through some limiting beliefs about money?

2019- went to silva course, it was great, although I enjoy a bit less materialistic spirituality

Went to Integral theory retreat (based on Ken Wilber)- very good

started dream job ~ and it consumed my life with capitalistic success haha stopped meditating and going to yoga

2022 Started therapy, not because I have big issues, I guess it was because I am addicted to fixing stuff up and when I heard super good reviews about a therapist I just went to try it. Tbh I didnt believe in it before, but I have benefited a lot by my work with this lady. 

Started isha kriya, did it for 50- something days and had some great and unexpected results. I did zazen meditation a lot before, however if I had a busy day and just did it for 15 minutes it was nothing, I either needed to do it 45 mins + or not at all, so I didnt do it. I was very suprised to find I had results with a 15 min meditation. Since I have started it I have this unexpected effect- I have started to smell so much stuff. I can smell things from very far away. Not sure how I feel about that.

So this week I started Inner engineering by Sadhguru and so far I really like it. Very much worth the money. In one of the meditations I saw a nice purple light infront of my eyes which was interesting.

My goals are to be more joyful, more secure in myself and not to worry about the future. 

I will update when I finish the inner engineering course

 

 

[Spence94]

Welcome fellow yogi.

Sending love.

Edited March 17, 2022 by Spence94

[LittleYoga]

@Spence94 Thank you!

I finished day 3 of Inner engineering  and found it ti be the most difficult so far because of the topic of Responsibility. I have struggled with responsibility my whole life because I felt responsible for my family and friends. So it was a difficult topic for me, I guess I understand intelectually the difference between total entanglement in a situation/outcome and being involved and trying to help but its something I need to work on.  

[LittleYoga]

Finished day five of Inner engineering and feeling very blissful and calm. Every day it is hard to start (why do I have to do this when there is so much house work...) but when I finish I feel so good. 

I notice a more little things like how nice the sunlight is etc

The meditation was very powerful for me, I feel very relaxed but alert and a slight tingle through my body. At one point I felt my head nodding slightly- which was strange to me, because I felt very much alert- why was my body nodding off? This never happens to me. After not moving for so long and closing my eyes perhaps it has decided to check out. 

 
I have so many likes and dislikes, a part of me is afraid that if I let them go my life would be ruined, I would not be successful, I would be just a spineless person. But I know that the truth is that if I am liberated from the chains of my likes and dislikes I would live more fully than ever. This knowledge is very far from my nature and intellect and I surely could not have grasped it if I hadnt tried mushrooms.   That you can NOT be feeling very intensely that you want something and still get it. A part of me feels that being detached = not wanting really/ not deserving/ using the law of attraction in a negative way. 

 

 

[LittleYoga]

I finished the program and they gave me a link with 20% off I will leave it here for a week or so link if anyone is interested

I am so happy I did the program, I have seen changes in myself since I started it. I thought I wanted to be rich, or successful, or calm, or a great meditator and to get validation from my loved ones. Turned out all I wanted is joy. 

That is the missing part

Thank you, Sadhguru 

I hope to be able to finish Inner completion soon... but Ill try to be patient.

And Ill start with the practices and kriyas they offered, I am so happy we live in such international times, It would have been impossible to access such knowledge 40 years ago easily

 

Im gonna add a funny dog picture, because its joyful 

Have a lovely day

[LittleYoga]

Ive been worried lately that the good mood and decreased worring Ive been seeing since the course might be because I was sick and perhaps the corona made me stupider so ~~ happier. Hope that its not the case= I feel its easier for me to forget bad stuff that would have worried me a lot. 

For now I plan to do 

Isha Kriya 2 x times a day for 48 days

Yoga at least 1 per week and to return to normal yoga class

Atleast 1 time per week to chant Aum with the instructions provided by isha 

I have random feels during the day - like a tingling sensation, or like feeling a feeling deeper BUT for a shorter period

I got angry at my mom, argued and 30 mins later I was just happily going about my day like nothing happened. This is not typical for me. 

Yesterday after isha kriya I was so detached ? I dont know how to explain it. Just chill,feeling good, not thinking about stuff too much. This is so not typical for me that I worry a bit if I have some brain damage from being sick or if I will get depersonalized. 

Anyway, gonna continue with my practece. I have very strong intuition that if I stop now Ill become the nervous wreck I was before 

Btw Ive been having intuitions a bit more strongly - I had a dream I met a woman infront of my house and we talked and that happened the same day

I was arguing with my mom about a revision of our stuff from the government and they call me 2 h later that they came and I was not there

[LittleYoga]

Hi,

 

A few days passed since the course and I returned to work after my sick leave and I stopped doing isha kriya fro 5 days... 

I deffinately dont feel the serenity I did when I was at home meditating ;(

I wish I had more time to spend alone and in silence, but unfortunately my job has a lot of communication involved in it, which is very tiring.

My sence of smell is still super strong, I can smell things other people in the room cant (not imaginary- stuff from the other side of the room)

1. I did my kriya every day since the pause however perhaps I have gotten somehow used to the benefits. I definitely am happier than I was 2 months ago when I started it tho
2. I did chanting one time this week
3. I did yoga once, unfortunately I was too tired to go to a yoga class... 
4. I did one longer guided meditation
5. Went to therapy and I am pretty satisfied with the progress we are making regarding it
6. Started reading:

• Life with the Himalayan teachers
• The habits of the highly effective teachers
• Two lifes  by Arcadia 
• Karma by Sadhguru

My goals for the next month is to:

1. Find more time for rest and relaxation
2. Continue my practice
3. Finish reading the books I started
4. Shop more and spend more money on pleasurable things 

Edited April 9, 2022 by LittleYoga

[LittleYoga]

Im on day 15 of my mandala ... if I havent stopped it a couple of times I would have been on day 54...

This week I did my kriya before I drank coffee and on 4 days I took a coldish shower before I started it. I can deffinately feel a difference. If I drink coffee or eat ... my kriya is not good at all

I did only one time the aum practice but man ... I sorta dislike it. 

I dont know if I am doing it right, I dont know if it works just so meh

This whole week Ive had the worst pms and got into so many fights with husband and family. On my Kali/Lakshmi chart I am definately Kali this week

The very sharp smell phenomenon is pretty much over