How Do You Deal With Friends And Environment?

[nian]

While on the path, but still far far away from reaching enlightment, I find myself being pissed at people who "waste my time". For example I have a friend who is really stuck in the past and unable to let go, further she somehow enjoys mourning about her past over and over again, no matter what I tell her, she wont stop. Thinking about how to act "right", I'll listen, again and again.  Sometimes I want to tell her to stop bsing around and do something valuable. How do you deal with situations like this? Sometimes I just want to leave my life behind and go somewhere where people don't talk. Living my materialistic capitalistic life in europe feels more and more wrong with each passing day. It's hard to remind oneself to improve awareness even without distraction but being pulled back, continuing living a "normal" life... and staying on the path, how do you do this?

[Dodo]

Hey bro. Lovely post. What I've found is that resisting the happenings of life is pointless. You dont need to bring others to freedom of mind, your goal is to get there yourself first.

You know you're there when absolutely no happening can trigger unconscious responses and defensiveness in you.

This can only happen if you disidentify with your mind and body and become absolute friends with your surroundings (environment and friends). Let everyone and everything be exactly as is and view it for what it is: A spontaneous happening which you do not control.

Some people's identity is suffering,  so they Like it. I used to be in that storyline thats why I know. There is pleasure in suffering and in "poor me". Don't take the candy out of the baby's mouth, they will drop it if they decide to.

We cant manipulate everyone to the same view of life and we dont need it to be happy. 

Let everything and everyone be, dont think they are all ignorant and you need to change them. Everyone is here to fulfil a purpose and absolutely everyone can teach you a lesson - willingly or by chance.

[Echoes]

Accept her as a life happening just as it is. Don't be pissed when you try to change her and she doesn't follow your individual perspective on reality. This implies a "she SHOULD be different as she is now!" "I SHOULD be able to change her!" "She SHOULND'T waste my time!" those are false assumptions/expectations/fantasys who arise because you deny reality. (watch Leo's video on morality if you haven't, it is really powerfull)

Also, consider to tell her what you really feel and/or reduce/break the contact. It isn't worth it in the end to maintain friendship/relationship who only drain your energy and joy in life. 

 

 

[Principium Nexus]

Don't go with those people in discussion, just show them what is valuable by direct experience. If a person is a close friend, take them with you on a journey, party or anything that you both enjoy.

[nian]

Thanks everybody. I don't know how I even got caught up in this thoughts, it's so easy to lose clarity. I guess 'letting be and accept' plus 'telling her what I really feel' is the way to go and after that inviting her over for brunch (if she still likes me). Maybe I'll watch this happening in a few days. One never knows. 

[rebecca]

If I may suggest,,,, asking her if she wants to keep this programming of suffering and or victimization ??? Her choice ! ??? Or a mirror to yourself ??