Are there any benefits of being an introvert?

[Asayake]

13 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Well i am not a creative person nor have interest in it to make it a career. So what goods does my introversion give me?

Yes, i am introspective, have a natural curiousity and relatively deep thinking about reality and harder to fall into group thinking and ideology than people around me. It does not give me what i want though. 

Maybe you would not even be on this forum if you weren't an introvert. As you said it yourself, you have a natural curiosity and think about things deeply. My guess is that the majority of people on this forum are introverts or atleast not dominant in extroversion. Your introversion maybe won't give you all the pros of being an introvert for free, if you're working as a salesman it's probably mostly a disadvantage. But you can turn it into an advantage. Instead of viewing it like your introspection is a problem that doesn't come with any pros, what if you view it like I am an introvert, how do I adapt my life to make the most use of that fact. See most people won't actively try to adapt their life in ways to benefit from their psychology. There are many ways to benefit. You probably have an easier time pursuing meditation and self inquiry than most extroverted people have. You are also missing out on a lot of problems that comes with being an extrovert, maybe you're less prone to feeling lonely when you're spending time alone. Of course, you're not limited to being strictly an introvert. What you do will change your psychology. If you really wish you had some more extroverted traits you could go out and be more socially active and your psychology will adapt and more extroverted traits will be brought out. For example if you're an introvert but want to become a standup comedian either you could play with your introverted traits in your standup comedy routine, or you could try to challenge yourself to become more extroverted and take on an extroverted alter ego during your standup act and then being more introverted during your spare time. Whatever you do there is a way of doing it like an introvert and a way of doing it like an extrovert and both are available to you, it's just one is going to come more naturally so being an introvert is a good thing if you realize that and take advantage of it when you can.

13 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

It's true because it's in a book?

Yes you do, because "common sense" isn't any evidence. "Common sense" has been wrong innumerable times.

For example according to my mom common sense says that covid-19 doesn't exist and never existed, etc.

No it's not necessarily true because it's in the book, you are right. But the book makes a strong case for why that would likely be the case. Sometimes it's good to listen to someone who has spent a great deal of her life investigating the matter(in this case Susan Cain). She backs her claims up with studies in the book. Buddha and Steve Wozniak are just two examples of people doing their thing alone with great success. Another example is The Beatles, the band played together and recorded together but when it came to songwriting John, Paul, George, Ringo, everyone of them wrote the music alone. Lennon & McCartney split the credit of many songs but they actually went off alone to write and did not write together. Literally think of any inventor in history and most of the time the invention will have been done solo. Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin, Liszt. They all wrote alone because becoming a great musician takes years of venturing off on your own in exploration.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Asayake

[Karmadhi]

15 hours ago, Jordan said:

Some girls really like introverts, I have had the same girlfriend for 10 years but if I was looking for one I think it would not be hard for me without having to try to imitate an extrovert. Just listen well, have a sense of humor and find out through trial and error what she likes. 

I really struggle with this, no matter how much i develop my sense of humour, how expressive i become, how much i laugh and smile, girls always tell me that they find me serious and quiet (but fun). God help me understand what the fuck a fun, serious person even means.

I can make a girl laugh for 20 minutes straight and still she will think i am somewhat serious and quiet person. I think it because i am a low energy person and i feel punished for it.

 

[Karmadhi]

8 hours ago, Asayake said:

If you really wish you had some more extroverted traits you could go out and be more socially active and your psychology will adapt and more extroverted traits will be brought out.

I have worked immensly on it but no matter how much i work, it is never enough. Most people still see me as a chill, serious but cool and interesting person. It is never enough.

[Asayake]

36 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I have worked immensly on it but no matter how much i work, it is never enough. Most people still see me as a chill, serious but cool and interesting person. It is never enough.

Have you tried any form of yoga? I read above that you think you are a low energy person. Kriya yoga, hatha yoga, shambhavi mudra, tried any of these? I think these practices can help you open up more to others and give you more energy. When you have more energy than you need you might become more outgoing and take initiative more often. What if you start hosting events with your friends/host a party? People will start to perceive you as more outgoing and extroverted if you take initiative in a group.  Going to the gym or doing other energetic activities where you're around other people could help you get accustomed to having more energy around people.

[Karmadhi]

1 hour ago, Asayake said:

Going to the gym or doing other energetic activities where you're around other people could help you get accustomed to having more energy around people.

I go to the gym regularly, i am very fit and muscular. It is not an issue of energy in the traditional sense per say. I do not suffer from fatigue or anything like that. It is more that i feel more comfortable to be low energy.

By low energy i do not mean not making jokes, not smiling, not laughing or not being expressive. Just being chill. 

[LastThursday]

The only difference between introverts and extroverts is where they get their kicks from. Extroverts get their fix from socialising, introverts from pursuing their own thoughts. There's no difference in creativity, intelligence, emotional intelligence, passion, focus, strength or any other measure.  In fact introverts can be quite social, they just don't get most of their pleasure from being social - introverts can be just as socially aware as extroverts.

Also, it's not one-size-fits-all. Introverts are not introverts in all situations, and likewise for extroverts. Maybe you're more extroverted with close friends and less so with acquaintances, or more introverted in a work situation than outside of it.

[mo_v]

There’s no such thing as introverts and extroverts. Introverts are just traumatized extroverts. Ok sure maybe some people are more drawn to doing things alone but most people use introversion as an excuse for thier trauma.

[thisintegrated]

Define "introvert".  This has many definitions.  MBTI has introverts and extroverts, yet either one can be seen as social or unsocial by others.

Do you mean people with poor social skills, or people who feel drained from socializing, or people whose main function is introverted (in MBTI/Socionics)?

[JonasVE12]

On 15-3-2022 at 0:19 AM, Karmadhi said:

Hey guys, i wanted to ask this here.

I am a natural introvert and even though i have managed to develop quite decent social skills and some extroverted tendencies i always felt like it being a limitation.

I had to work super hard to try to match what an extrovert naturally has, and it felt like i had to work harder to develop "what you ought to have for a successful life".

I mean what benefits do i get as an introvert compared to an extrovert? Extroverts have it much easier to make friends, get sex/relationships, get good jobs and climb on managerial positions which pay well, and overall tend to be more easy going.

I come from a very extroverted culture which sees introversion as something bad. The word "introvert" is literally used sometimes to insult someone when they are being anti-social or cold. This bias really made me subconsciously dislike my introvert nature and feel like i always had to work extra hard to match an extrovert because they naturally have "what matters".

So a list of things introverts have good going for them would be appreciated.

The only thing i can think off is that introverts are better at introspecting which can allow them to grow themselves more than extroverts can, if they actually decide to. They are better at problem findings within themselves better.

Anything else would be appreciated  

If you are contracted within the identification to being introverted, that will only polarize and distance yourself. In truth, when people ascribe their difficulty with social fluidity, flow and building opportunities, whether it be business, sex, friendships, to their introverted nature, that is all mostly because they have a lack of emotional embodiment, and not because they are introverted. The distinction between introversion/extroversion is very misunderstood culturally and gives rise to a lot of self-deceptive attachment of meaning. Especially because inner conflicts and attachments patterns are poorly misunderstood by the thinking rational mind. The desire for understanding exists strongly though, and not knowing is the curse very often. So contexts and concepts are created out of thin air even if they do a poor job of explaining the underlying reality. How are you constructing this context to help you avoid and victimize unconsciously? That is important to question. What is your true relationship with actual introversion? Is introversion limiting in itself? What is the bigger picture here? Do introverted and extroverted people have different social potentials? What is an introvert? What is 'natural' introversion? What is the influence of various development factors on introversion? Does emotional conditioning create inward orientation and introvert tendencies? What is the influence of emotional dissociation on social ability? Can emotional dissociation be connected to introversion? I would explore these questions.

The reason you have to work hard, feel distanced from extroversion, feel identified with introversion is because you are not emotionally embodied and have not tapped into certain embodiment principles. You have not built the right physiological structures. Therefore it all feels so permanent. It just seems like this is the way you are. it is easy to avoid deeper truths and attach to these concepts. It makes it all so understandable and easy to grasp. How is the concept ADHD and inability to concentrate similar to this? 

Extroverted people are people who naturally have the right chemical and neurological structures built to have the traits that typify them. That comes because their lifes development process has encouraged and supported the building of these structures. Introversion in a lot of cases the result of negative conditioning and emotional dissociation, which naturally builds more engagement in cognitive structures responsible for the inward orientation, that causes the introspective tendencies and ability. 

The real benefit of being introverted then is just this. You have built stronger neuronal and chemical pathways that are responsible for becoming conscious, and you can use this in many powerful ways. You have spend a lot of time thinking and exploring concepts, which gives you a lot more ability to be intuitive, to think in systems, to think holistically etc.  You have a heightened ability to engage in activities that require introspection.

And the big bonus is that once you tap into the emotional embodiment principles, you will be able to socialize, form relationships, influence etc as powerfully as a natural extrovert does. Even more because that lack of previous embodiment has left you deprived for so long, which now, when you are fully embodied, serves as fuel for exploring the world with a lot more enthusiasm. All those activities give a lot more pleasure because you were deprived from them for so long. Those natural extroverts have seen it all. It is all very habitual for them. You will have a lot more fulfillment when engaging socially than a lot of extroverts. But embodiment is required and it something that does not come easy. Hence why you struggle. 

[Shawn Philips]

17 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

If you are contracted within the identification to being introverted, that will only polarize and distance yourself. In truth, when people ascribe their difficulty with social fluidity, flow and building opportunities, whether it be business, sex, friendships, to their introverted nature, that is all mostly because they have a lack of emotional embodiment, and not because they are introverted. The distinction between introversion/extroversion is very misunderstood culturally and gives rise to a lot of self-deceptive attachment of meaning. Especially because inner conflicts and attachments patterns are poorly misunderstood by the thinking rational mind. The desire for understanding exists strongly though, and not knowing is the curse very often. So contexts and concepts are created out of thin air even if they do a poor job of explaining the underlying reality. How are you constructing this context to help you avoid and victimize unconsciously? That is important to question. What is your true relationship with actual introversion? Is introversion limiting in itself? What is the bigger picture here? Do introverted and extroverted people have different social potentials? What is an introvert? What is 'natural' introversion? What is the influence of various development factors on introversion? Does emotional conditioning create inward orientation and introvert tendencies? What is the influence of emotional dissociation on social ability? Can emotional dissociation be connected to introversion? I would explore these questions.

The reason you have to work hard, feel distanced from extroversion, feel identified with introversion is because you are not emotionally embodied and have not tapped into certain embodiment principles. You have not built the right physiological structures. Therefore it all feels so permanent. It just seems like this is the way you are. it is easy to avoid deeper truths and attach to these concepts. It makes it all so understandable and easy to grasp. How is the concept ADHD and inability to concentrate similar to this? 

Extroverted people are people who naturally have the right chemical and neurological structures built to have the traits that typify them. That comes because their lifes development process has encouraged and supported the building of these structures. Introversion in a lot of cases the result of negative conditioning and emotional dissociation, which naturally builds more engagement in cognitive structures responsible for the inward orientation, that causes the introspective tendencies and ability. 

The real benefit of being introverted then is just this. You have built stronger neuronal and chemical pathways that are responsible for becoming conscious, and you can use this in many powerful ways. You have spend a lot of time thinking and exploring concepts, which gives you a lot more ability to be intuitive, to think in systems, to think holistically etc.  You have a heightened ability to engage in activities that require introspection.

And the big bonus is that once you tap into the emotional embodiment principles, you will be able to socialize, form relationships, influence etc as powerfully as a natural extrovert does. Even more because that lack of previous embodiment has left you deprived for so long, which now, when you are fully embodied, serves as fuel for exploring the world with a lot more enthusiasm. All those activities give a lot more pleasure because you were deprived from them for so long. Those natural extroverts have seen it all. It is all very habitual for them. You will have a lot more fulfillment when engaging socially than a lot of extroverts. But embodiment is required and it something that does not come easy. Hence why you struggle. 

It's interesting your point of view. I see that usually society relate the concept of introversion to being shy and with dificulties with social interactions, making friends, etc.

For me that's not true. By meaning I understand introversion/extroversion as which thing you point your focus or awareness, ant this can vary within the same person, in diferent contexts or scenarios. For example writing a fantasy book which requires a lot of imagination is an activity of obligatory introversion. While birdwatching is forceful extrovertive because you have to focus on the outside world.

But going back to the mainstrean meaning like introverted being the shy nerdy who likes to be alone and gets drained in social events vs the extro who likes being the center of attention, socially savy...

I dont think we have a choice to not fall in the identification you have pointed. Firstly because this actitude o preference of focusing in the mental/inner world or the exterior is being determined by a huge amount of variables like genetics, environment, education, culture, childhood, reinforcement experiencies... things that we cant control and conform how we are, since we are born.

I mean the part of free will we have is little, because we cannot fight genetics, as long as this (extroversion/extraversion) becomes a crucial survival mechanism that works for us, and it's very hard to rewire something that has worked in the past positively towards our survival.

For example for a baby being loud, demanding, is important to catch the attention of his mum so she nurture and feed him.

For other people being shy, and discrete, can be useful to not be the center of attention and not be bullied, while being too cocky would provide more problems.

It's very curious that most japanese people are introverted, shy, humble, even singers and artists who typically should be more extro look shy compared to the occident.

This topic is a not enough studied in psychology at least in a meta-study way to even understand how it works.

But my point here is: Should we change what works for our survival? And i know that being too loud or too shy couldnt threaten or save our life in the actual 2022 in which we live in a relative safe world, but this mechanism saves us from geting into much trouble, and at the same time limit our experinces.

As a conclusion, it is so hard to change, cuting identification with something that keeps us safe and in our comfort zone.

In my life I've done efforts to change from intro to extro, try psycho therapy conductual, pushing myself into being more extro and social.. and I impoved but always come back to the way I am, this is homeostasis. And it's not because I'm not identified with that, It's because how I feel, my body tell me that I feel better being intro, maybe my neurotransmitters, hormones, belief foundations or a mix of everything, but who I am.

Doing otherwise would be like a dog pretending he is a cat  and meawing every day hoping that one day will change. 

 

Edited March 19, 2022 by Shawn Philips

[JonasVE12]

1 hour ago, Shawn Philips said:

As a conclusion, it is so hard to change, cuting identification with something that keeps us safe and in our comfort zone.

In my life I've done efforts to change from intro to extro, try psycho therapy conductual, pushing myself into being more extro and social.. and I impoved but always come back to the way I am, this is homeostasis. And it's not because I'm not identified with that, It's because how I feel, my body tell me that I feel better being intro, maybe my neurotransmitters, hormones, belief foundations or a mix of everything, but who I am.

Doing otherwise would be like a dog pretending he is a cat  and meawing every day hoping that one day will change. 

The ability to be socially powerful, is a habit which you can build by engaging neural plasticity in the same way that we can activate neural plasticity for quitting a heroine addiction for example. It is not different. The required systems of engagement are different for both endeavors, but the truth is that a new equilibrium can be set once we tap into the right understanding. A lack of understanding is what keeps you in homeostasis, not the body's inability to rewire. That is filling in not-knowing very unfortunately because it removes the possibility for change. That is the whole reason for why we are doing spirituality and self-development here I think, to remove beliefs, to expand ourself, to detach ourself from unjustified identifications. Of course we will identify ourself to all sorts of things that can explain why we are who we are, but it is a huge trap to be so attached to them in the sense that you belief that they are a permanent truth. Reality is so flexible, dynamic and changeable in ways that you can not know if you have not gone to the required depth needed to change. It is also not our body and genetics that limit us. It is our mind. Indeed, we can not fly if we remove the belief that we can not fly. But things such as social ability are very possible to change. There are countless examples and I have many direct experiences which can verify this. It is natural in any transformative process to feel resistance at first. Thinking that resistance is a signal of your body telling you that the resistance is caused because you are not being authentic and try to change who you naturally are is limiting you. If you can understand how psychological systems change, as well as the corresponding physiological mechanisms can help you understand mentally what is going on and prevent this attachment of inaccurate concepts. 

This is my perspective towards the initial discussion.

And yes I agree with your definition of introversion/extroversion. There will always be aspects of who we are that are ingrained in us and natural to us, such as physical appearance. As well as introversion/extroversion tendencies, described by your definition of those concepts. But I do not think that inward orientation by itself is connected significantly to social ability. You can be as socially powerful with inward orientation as someone with outward orientation, but if you happen to have an inward orientation, and do feel like you lack those abilities, you just have to develop them. And that is definitely possible and not being limited by your inward orientation. Of course if you identify your lack of social ability to your inward orientation, you have work to do to unwind that belief. 

[vizual]

People are like characters in an RPG video game with well balanced character mechanics; all characters have strengths and weaknesses and their effectiveness mostly depend on how they are used and how well they are used. One is not better than the other. Introverts are not better or worse than extroverts and vice versa

The upside of that is that you are never inherently hopeless, there’s always an opening for you to become great. The downside is that you are never going to be a  perfect character. A water pokemon is always going to be weak against lightning.

[Shawn Philips]

2 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

The ability to be socially powerful, is a habit which you can build by engaging neural plasticity in the same way that we can activate neural plasticity for quitting a heroine addiction for example. It is not different. The required systems of engagement are different for both endeavors, but the truth is that a new equilibrium can be set once we tap into the right understanding. A lack of understanding is what keeps you in homeostasis, not the body's inability to rewire. That is filling in not-knowing very unfortunately because it removes the possibility for change. That is the whole reason for why we are doing spirituality and self-development here I think, to remove beliefs, to expand ourself, to detach ourself from unjustified identifications. Of course we will identify ourself to all sorts of things that can explain why we are who we are, but it is a huge trap to be so attached to them in the sense that you belief that they are a permanent truth. Reality is so flexible, dynamic and changeable in ways that you can not know if you have not gone to the required depth needed to change. It is also not our body and genetics that limit us. It is our mind. Indeed, we can not fly if we remove the belief that we can not fly. But things such as social ability are very possible to change. There are countless examples and I have many direct experiences which can verify this. It is natural in any transformative process to feel resistance at first. Thinking that resistance is a signal of your body telling you that the resistance is caused because you are not being authentic and try to change who you naturally are is limiting you. If you can understand how psychological systems change, as well as the corresponding physiological mechanisms can help you understand mentally what is going on and prevent this attachment of inaccurate concepts. 

This is my perspective towards the initial discussion.

And yes I agree with your definition of introversion/extroversion. There will always be aspects of who we are that are ingrained in us and natural to us, such as physical appearance. As well as introversion/extroversion tendencies, described by your definition of those concepts. But I do not think that inward orientation by itself is connected significantly to social ability. You can be as socially powerful with inward orientation as someone with outward orientation, but if you happen to have an inward orientation, and do feel like you lack those abilities, you just have to develop them. And that is definitely possible and not being limited by your inward orientation. Of course if you identify your lack of social ability to your inward orientation, you have work to do to unwind that belief. 

2 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

The ability to be socially powerful, is a habit which you can build by engaging neural plasticity in the same way that we can activate neural plasticity for quitting a heroine addiction for example. It is not different. The required systems of engagement are different for both endeavors, but the truth is that a new equilibrium can be set once we tap into the right understanding. A lack of understanding is what keeps you in homeostasis, not the body's inability to rewire. That is filling in not-knowing very unfortunately because it removes the possibility for change. That is the whole reason for why we are doing spirituality and self-development here I think, to remove beliefs, to expand ourself, to detach ourself from unjustified identifications. Of course we will identify ourself to all sorts of things that can explain why we are who we are, but it is a huge trap to be so attached to them in the sense that you belief that they are a permanent truth. Reality is so flexible, dynamic and changeable in ways that you can not know if you have not gone to the required depth needed to change. It is also not our body and genetics that limit us. It is our mind. Indeed, we can not fly if we remove the belief that we can not fly. But things such as social ability are very possible to change. There are countless examples and I have many direct experiences which can verify this. It is natural in any transformative process to feel resistance at first. Thinking that resistance is a signal of your body telling you that the resistance is caused because you are not being authentic and try to change who you naturally are is limiting you. If you can understand how psychological systems change, as well as the corresponding physiological mechanisms can help you understand mentally what is going on and prevent this attachment of inaccurate concepts. 

This is my perspective towards the initial discussion.

And yes I agree with your definition of introversion/extroversion. There will always be aspects of who we are that are ingrained in us and natural to us, such as physical appearance. As well as introversion/extroversion tendencies, described by your definition of those concepts. But I do not think that inward orientation by itself is connected significantly to social ability. You can be as socially powerful with inward orientation as someone with outward orientation, but if you happen to have an inward orientation, and do feel like you lack those abilities, you just have to develop them. And that is definitely possible and not being limited by your inward orientation. Of course if you identify your lack of social ability to your inward orientation, you have work to do to unwind that belief. 

You made me consider that meanwhile "the hand we are dealt" is a important factor, I use it as excuse to not fight against my natural neurochemistry, for example people when take marijuana have more serotonin and become more social, and there are suplements like tryptophan/5htp.

I see that the main factor is motivation. In the past I've done jobs that required me to be extroverted, and altough I wasnt feeling it, I acted extro because they paid me to act this way, in this case the motivation was the money.

 

And the fact that I keep being introverted is because I dont get any benefit in socializing, in fact I find small talk boring and useless. it is more that probable that if I find the people i ressonate with I'll make the effort, of course.

 

 

[Osaid]

If you're an introvert, you should have contemplated all the pros and cons already.

But really, it's just that introverts are more likely to have social anxiety or be socially inept, as a result of how they view the world and comprehend social situations. Key word more likely. You can be an introvert and still master social skills. Owen Cook has a nice video:

 

[JonasVE12]

22 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

You made me consider that meanwhile "the hand we are dealt" is a important factor, I use it as excuse to not fight against my natural neurochemistry, for example people when take marijuana have more serotonin and become more social, and there are suplements like tryptophan/5htp.

I see that the main factor is motivation. In the past I've done jobs that required me to be extroverted, and altough I wasnt feeling it, I acted extro because they paid me to act this way, in this case the motivation was the money.

And the fact that I keep being introverted is because I dont get any benefit in socializing, in fact I find small talk boring and useless. it is more that probable that if I find the people i ressonate with I'll make the effort, of course.

as you point out, there are different levels in how much one is motivated to engage socially, and if you happen to be on the low end of the spectrum and are completely fine with this, that is good. I think the problem happens when there is a sort of misalignment between the degree to which one is motivated to engage socially, and the degree to which one is actually engaging socially. In an ideal situation, those 2 values should align well and lay close to each other. Sometimes, as you had to in your job, you have to push yourself through external factors to increase your social engagement despite not being socially motivated to that degree.

Thing is that a lot of people just experience a very high motivation, and have no outlet for this. So this builds up internally and creates a lot of discord between their desires and emotions. This creates a lot of inner tension and you suffer deeply because of it. And the fact that most people see that misalignment as something that is fundamental locks them in. They hold all of this creative potential, but have no outlet for it because they become attached to belief as a way to escape this desire. They believe that they have a permanent personality, constructed by their DNA, experiences, biochemistry and all of that. I find this very unfortunate. 

Imagine if social engagement was a physical metal knob that you could twist to 0 - 100. 
As well as social motivation, but that knob is rather internally automatically adjusted. 

If someone were an introvert that feels like he is limited socially, and they believe that their inability to be social is because of their natural introversion. The knob is essentially stuck in one position for this person. And as time passes, he wants to turn it harder and harder, he can not contain himself any longer. But the knob just does not fucking move. He becomes frustrated and hopeless. 

If this person could expand consciousness enough, or be guided to, they could start to get control of the knob. The first few years he will probably dial it to the highest setting. Then if he feels fulfilled after that time, he will put it where he feels like it should be. And it will probably be somewhat lower than an extroverted person. But he has the choice now. And he will let himself be guided by his inner motivational system which has the automatic knob. And that automatic knob is connected to who you are and all your natural authentic tendencies included.

But he has to undertake his hero journey to accomplish all of that. 

Edited March 21, 2022 by JonasVE12

[BuddhistLover]

Biggest Pro of introversion: CREATIVITY

Biggest Con of Introversion: SADNESS

[ZenSwift]

I'm pretty sure "introverts" have the best introspection skill.