Hope Journal

[Lutalica]

I’ve been thinking of starting a public journal for a while but have been resisting to the idea, because it makes me feel so terribly uncomfortable. I even wrote a first entry once and never posted it. I’m not in a very good place right now, and feel I really need to find a way to communicate myself. I’m now retaking the life purpose course (which I bought 5 years ago and never finished) and working on Mindfulness Self-Compassion. I have no idea what this journal could evolve to, but I believe it will help to keep myself accountable. It might get personal or it might be just me sharing things I’m learning and inspire me.

[Lutalica]

I run into this today and I think it helped me take the decision to start this journal:

https://brenebrown.com/resources/manifesto-of-the-brave-and-brokenhearted/

Quote

Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted by Brené Brown

There is no greater threat to the critics
and cynics and fearmongers
than those of us who are willing to fall
because we have learned how to rise.
With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
we choose owning our stories of struggle,
over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.
When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.
We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.
We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.
We craft love from heartbreak,
compassion from shame,
grace from disappointment,
courage from failure.
Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home. Truth is our song.
We are the brave and brokenhearted.
We are rising strong.

 

[Zeroguy]

Pozdrav,sve najbolje.

All the best.

[Lutalica]

Thank you @Zeroguy ! 

[Lutalica]

Kristin Neff: The Three Components of Self-Compassion

Quote

The three elements of self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment.

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.  Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals. People cannot always be or get exactly what they want. When this reality is denied or fought against suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism.  When this reality is accepted with sympathy and kindness, greater emotional equanimity is experienced.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation.

Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes.  All humans suffer, however. The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect.  Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification.

Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated.  This equilibrated stance stems from the process of relating personal experiences to those of others who are also suffering, thus putting our own situation into a larger perspective. It also stems from the willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.  At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

Common humanity is hands down my biggest challenge in the journey of self-compassion. As Kristin Neff puts it in the video although of course I logically know we all suffer, when I find myself suffering I always tend to feel alone in my suffering triggering feelings of isolation, which causes me to further isolate my self and don’t seek the support that I need in myself and others. During the past week I’ve been doing some self-compassion meditations, and informal practices during the day, and I believe I already feel some subtle changes.