Choose your man wisely

[Preety_India]

A few tips

Don't fall for any man. He should have game. 

Don't fall for negging. Negging is begging. 

Don't go for needy desperate men. Always the biggest mistake. 

Movies tend to make women believe that you can be happy with assholes. Actually no. Because your life experience teaches you otherwise. Don't fall for that alpha man protector stereotype even if your body is attracted to it, it's good in the movies, bad in real life. Usually such men turn out to be abusive. But they're portrayed positively in movies. 

Don't go for men who don't have a purpose in life. You suffer eventually because such men have too many Insecurities. 

Look for men who genuinely care for you, unlike those who guilt trip you to be with them. Remember all the polarity, aggression and Negging is a part of male game, it's not male love. Male love is beautiful and faithful and understanding and kind. So don't fall for red pill talk or "hunter" talk because those men are only good at hunting but not loving. 

If a man doesn't show great interest in you, just leave as soon as possible. Because it's not a good sign. It means he thinks you're just an option or he might be looking for someone better. Guys will treat you like that where you will confused about their signals. A guy who loves will give you clear signs. He won't be too wishy washy. 

If a man doesn't commit to you, don't be a sucker, leave and never turn back. Don't fall for breadcrumbs. Keep firm boundaries and you will get a man who you truly desire and not have to deal with frustrating men anymore. 

Have a good day 

 

 

[mojsterr]

I always like to see women's perspective on such things. Helps me see where to improve myself.

[Preety_India]

You are welcome. 

 

[Mz Hyde]

@Preety_India Nice post. I think this forum really needs more female relevant content.

[Random witch]

"Women have two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist."  Gloria steinem

[Cleopatra]

Love it! Every advice you gave is good advice I’ve also gotten from good men. Unsurprisingly the advice from redpillers and pickup artists sounds different.

[Preety_India]

@Mz Hyde @Random witch @Cleopatra

Grateful for the appreciation. 

 

[PepperBlossoms]

On 3/12/2022 at 5:58 PM, Preety_India said:

Don't fall for any man. He should have game. 

Don't fall for negging. Negging is begging. 

Don't go for needy desperate men. Always the biggest mistake. 

Movies tend to make women believe that you can be happy with assholes. Actually no. Because your life experience teaches you otherwise. Don't fall for that alpha man protector stereotype even if your body is attracted to it, it's good in the movies, bad in real life. Usually such men turn out to be abusive. But they're portrayed positively in movies. 

Don't go for men who don't have a purpose in life. You suffer eventually because such men have too many Insecurities. 

Look for men who genuinely care for you, unlike those who guilt trip you to be with them. Remember all the polarity, aggression and Negging is a part of male game, it's not male love. Male love is beautiful and faithful and understanding and kind. So don't fall for red pill talk or "hunter" talk because those men are only good at hunting but not loving. 

If a man doesn't show great interest in you, just leave as soon as possible. Because it's not a good sign. It means he thinks you're just an option or he might be looking for someone better. Guys will treat you like that where you will confused about their signals. A guy who loves will give you clear signs. He won't be too wishy washy. 

If a man doesn't commit to you, don't be a sucker, leave and never turn back. Don't fall for breadcrumbs. Keep firm boundaries and you will get a man who you truly desire and not have to deal with frustrating men anymore. 

This would be great.  I think sometimes boundaries do have to be dropped, sometimes we are the needy desperate one, and sometimes interest is shown and sometimes it is not.  I think sometimes we do have to be an asshole, sometimes we don't have a purpose, sometimes we have too many insecurities, sometimes we are better at hunting, and sometimes we are better at loving.  Sometimes we are wishy washy because stuff changes all the time.

I guess I am just trying to be more realistic here but yet I don't know everything and maybe there is a relationship that can be closer to utopian but also it can be helpful to be flexible.  I am not perfect and I don't expect my partner to be but yeah there will be things that will be more preferable than others.

I guess I am the definition of what not to go for ha.  I would like to be able to do/have all of the above but I guess I just see that I am not sure if it is 100% possible - but maybe it is!

[Preety_India]

27 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

This would be great.  I think sometimes boundaries do have to be dropped, sometimes we are the needy desperate one, and sometimes interest is shown and sometimes it is not.  I think sometimes we do have to be an asshole, sometimes we don't have a purpose, sometimes we have too many insecurities, sometimes we are better at hunting, and sometimes we are better at loving.  Sometimes we are wishy washy because stuff changes all the time.

I guess I am just trying to be more realistic here but yet I don't know everything and maybe there is a relationship that can be closer to utopian but also it can be helpful to be flexible.  I am not perfect and I don't expect my partner to be but yeah there will be things that will be more preferable than others.

I guess I am the definition of what not to go for ha.  I would like to be able to do/have all of the above but I guess I just see that I am not sure if it is 100% possible - but maybe it is!

You'll be able to follow all the suggestions once you become confident enough. What I sense in you is a lack of confidence as a woman. Do you know why? Because your culture has conditioned you to believe that you are an object of male desire and male validation and you feel better when a male validates you and you don't feel good when he doesn't. It leads you to have insecurities. This is not entirely your fault because feminism is still new in this world and women still feel insecure thanks to a society that constantly suggests male approval as a benchmark for women on their own femininity. I was like you a couple of years ago. Always looking for validation and acceptance from my ex boyfriends, unable to break from them, everything seemed to be my fault not his, he was the Lord, he was the male, I was his chosen one, it feels good in the beginning but it tends to increase the tolerance of assholes and assholism, eventually I fell into a pattern of abusive relationships, men freely preying on my insecurities and using me as they pleased and me just blaming myself and putting up with it. Then one day I realized that this cannot be love. I did not feel connected with my deeper feminine. My feminine slowly begin to come to the surface and force me to reconsider my relationships. I worked on myself. I began to work on my self esteem, my confidence as a woman. I tried to be seductive for my own good. You know why cultures demonize the seductive power of a woman? Because they are hella scared a woman will become sexually confident. Then they lose control and power over her insecurities. Then they can't play anymore mind games with her. They can't treat her like a sex doll anymore, because she is now in control of her own vagina and who should please it.

When I worked on my self esteem, I began to realize that  a man can't put my worth on a number between 1 to 10. That I'm not a number, I'm a human being. I have sexual needs too. And I'm not some sex doll standing there for men to gawk at. That's where my repressed femininity began to emerge and find its power. I wanted to decide what kind of a man I wanted to date rather than the other way around. I wanted to choose rather than be the chosen one. I didn't want to impress a man anymore because who cares? I was freed from this jail that Society had created for me. This unnecessary need to constantly act like some beautiful secretary to men. Always demure and coy and delicate and always obedient to their command or else I would be an outcast or considered undesirable. Who cares? I decided to follow my own intuitive senses as a woman. And slowly my mind began to download wisdom of femininity that I never had. 

That's when all these insights came to me (especially after digging into all my past mistakes and insecurities that caused me to choose those type of men unconsciously and stay stuck with them) and then I decided to share these insights. 

It helps if a woman is in touch with her own vagina, with her own femininity. That way her own intuition leads her to avoid undesirable men and be with more desirable ones. A woman has to herself go through this process because society generally doesn't encourage it enough. 

Of course you won't find a perfect utopian relationship or the perfect perfect guy but you will have something reasonably better than your exes and other undesirable men. You will have much better men although not entirely perfect. 

 

Edited March 15, 2022 by Preety_India

[PepperBlossoms]

@Preety_India Thanks for sharing.

Yeah I agree with everything being portrayed as my fault (or one's fault) gets old; the excessive blaming/criticism/getting picked on gets old.

I think I do still have lots of insecurities and one of the big ones is loneliness.  I guess the idea of, oh I can't be alone, I don't want to be alone, I would rather not be alone.

Good point on not needing to seek out validation.  I realized that with spirituality too - there really isn't anyone to validate if your way of thinking is the best way but yeah sure others can give suggestions and one can take/reject them.  

If the validating seems to be more putting down, it can be hard to tell, oh is this stuff helpful and I need to change or is this just trying to tear me down?  I have seen where yes there is helpful stuff and yes I need to change but there are also healthier ways to do it.

I had the epiphany a few years ago how I was assuming I was lower than men with regards to being on the tennis court -but there was also the huge disadvantage because their bodies are better built for it than mine.

I think I need more examples of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like.  I think society painted the picture of a whole lot of female submissiveness but also, do females have to be submissive to a degree for the relationship to work??? 

I was exploring who started companies yesterday and every single one I searched on google was started by a man.  I also found that my previous career and one I was considering were both highly male dominated.   Our childhood was dominated by learning about men in science and history.... many governments are still dominated by a male leader at the top...

[PepperBlossoms]

I don't want to start a gender war. This is what I had put in my journal yesterday.  Just noting the guy/girl difference in terms of what is actually happening here.

EDIT: I took a few lines from my quote out.  Also, women have started businesses I just didn't look for it specifically but it was interesting how all of the ones I typed in were not started by women.

13 hours ago, PepperBlossoms said:

Part of me is like, ah man I wish I was a guy.  Maybe I would be smarter.  I think girls and guys are smarter in different ways but also every person will be smarter in different ways from every other person. Like okay lets be real here - If Leo was a girl, like Lea, would there be as many people on actualized right now?  

Google - started by Larry and Sergey; Amazon - Jeff; Microsoft - Bill and Paul; Visa - Dee; Youtube - Jawed, Steve, and Chad; the Internet - Bob and Vint; the dictionary - Samuel; LIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS A GUY.  A MALE!!

In history and science class, we spend most of our childhood learning about MEN.  Every single president of the United States has been a MALE.

What is wrong with the girls?  But, it could be that guys are more corrupt too...

Tyson - John; Valero - Bill; Shell - Hugo; Dooney & Bourke - Peter and Frederick; Abercrombie & Fitch - David and Ezra; Pizza Hut - Dan and Frank; Starbucks - Gordon, Zev, and Jerry; Revlon - Charles; Dove - Lever Brothers; Sunkist - Edward and P.J.; Hersheys - Milton

AGAIN - EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE IS A GUY................ 

okay I need to stop with the gender stuff.  I didn't pick my gender and neither did anyone else.  It is just kinda sad at how women don't have the same track record as men do.  But maybe we have different interests and aren't interested in the things that are required for one to build a big business.

Here is one for you.  I had said it would be cool to write a movie... well here you go.

"80.6% of screenwriters were men and only 19.4% were women." https://womenandhollywood.com/resources/statistics/2019-statistics/#:~:text=80.6% of screenwriters were men and only 19.4% were women.

"33% of civil engineers are female and 67% are male." https://www.careerexplorer.com/careers/civil-engineer/demographics/#:~:text=33% of civil engineers are female and 67% are male.

There you go.  At one point at my work, it was more like at one point it was 100% men and 0% women with regards to professionally licensed......

https://www.infoplease.com/us/society-culture/gender-sexuality/20-leading-occupations-employed-women-us

Edited March 15, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[PepperBlossoms]

I think you're right about the whole not being treated with respect thing.  It isn't fun.

[PepperBlossoms]

I think sometimes the saying that our partner is not being respectful is a reflection of ourselves not being respectful.

This whole thing is super tricky.  It can be hard to tell when we are at fault and only want to see it as the other person or when they are at fault but not wanting to see it as such or when it is both.  There is also the factor where we got our insecurities from our parents/childhood/environment and are able to identify how/why we became how we did.

I guess sometimes toxic relationships just work themselves out where it comes to an end without having to try to end it.

I guess also, the more a woman is able to take care of herself, the less needy she would be I would assume; and likewise the same goes with men.

Dealing with all of those insecurities like loneliness that I mentioned can be helpful.

[Preety_India]

17 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

I guess also, the more a woman is able to take care of herself, the less needy she would be I would assume; and likewise the same goes with men.

True

[flowboy]

On 13/03/2022 at 1:58 AM, Preety_India said:

A few tips

Don't fall for any man. He should have game. 

Don't fall for negging. Negging is begging. 

Don't go for needy desperate men. Always the biggest mistake. 

Movies tend to make women believe that you can be happy with assholes. Actually no. Because your life experience teaches you otherwise. Don't fall for that alpha man protector stereotype even if your body is attracted to it, it's good in the movies, bad in real life. Usually such men turn out to be abusive. But they're portrayed positively in movies. 

Don't go for men who don't have a purpose in life. You suffer eventually because such men have too many Insecurities. 

Look for men who genuinely care for you, unlike those who guilt trip you to be with them. Remember all the polarity, aggression and Negging is a part of male game, it's not male love. Male love is beautiful and faithful and understanding and kind. So don't fall for red pill talk or "hunter" talk because those men are only good at hunting but not loving. 

If a man doesn't show great interest in you, just leave as soon as possible. Because it's not a good sign. It means he thinks you're just an option or he might be looking for someone better. Guys will treat you like that where you will confused about their signals. A guy who loves will give you clear signs. He won't be too wishy washy. 

If a man doesn't commit to you, don't be a sucker, leave and never turn back. Don't fall for breadcrumbs. Keep firm boundaries and you will get a man who you truly desire and not have to deal with frustrating men anymore. 

Have a good day 

 

 

Nice balanced perspective.

Good to see you integrate your past experiences into this holistic viewpoint.

Thank you for sharing.

[Preety_India]

Just now, flowboy said:

Nice balanced perspective.

Good to see you integrate your past experiences into this holistic viewpoint.

Thank you for sharing.

You're welcome. 

[mojsterr]

About women not starting businesses and stuff mentioned higher...

What if it's just the natural laws that govern everything and its just the way it is? Men are more suitable for one kind of stuff and women are suitable for other? What if it's just the male energy that is more needed for companies and stuff?

I'm not saying that women shouldn't, but perhaps those women have more male energy, who do start them.

 

What if we've gone too far into the rabbt hole and everyone just forgot which roles to play? This is also apparent in men not being real men anymore.

I think we're pushing this equality thing a bit too far. Men aren't women and women aren't men. Period. Each has a different role. Each of us are bulti differently and for different purposes. That's why we need both. The Yin and the Yang.

This has become the most apparent in transgenders, where men compete in womens sports and of course are dominating them, because their bodies are just built stronger.

 

People have become out of touch with their masculine or feminine sides and are just lost.

Edited March 15, 2022 by mojsterr

[mojsterr]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@mojsterr I think that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic. 

 

It's late here. I guess I didn't read carefully.

[hyruga]

On 3/13/2022 at 8:58 AM, Preety_India said:

A few tips

Don't fall for any man. He should have game. 

Don't fall for negging. Negging is begging. 

Don't go for needy desperate men. Always the biggest mistake. 

Movies tend to make women believe that you can be happy with assholes. Actually no. Because your life experience teaches you otherwise. Don't fall for that alpha man protector stereotype even if your body is attracted to it, it's good in the movies, bad in real life. Usually such men turn out to be abusive. But they're portrayed positively in movies. 

Don't go for men who don't have a purpose in life. You suffer eventually because such men have too many Insecurities. 

Look for men who genuinely care for you, unlike those who guilt trip you to be with them. Remember all the polarity, aggression and Negging is a part of male game, it's not male love. Male love is beautiful and faithful and understanding and kind. So don't fall for red pill talk or "hunter" talk because those men are only good at hunting but not loving. 

If a man doesn't show great interest in you, just leave as soon as possible. Because it's not a good sign. It means he thinks you're just an option or he might be looking for someone better. Guys will treat you like that where you will confused about their signals. A guy who loves will give you clear signs. He won't be too wishy washy. 

If a man doesn't commit to you, don't be a sucker, leave and never turn back. Don't fall for breadcrumbs. Keep firm boundaries and you will get a man who you truly desire and not have to deal with frustrating men anymore. 

Have a good day 

 

 

2nd line. What do you mean when you say a man should have game?/

You mean that given 2 guys with equal attributes. always pick the guys who slept with more women previously?

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, hyruga said:

2nd line. What do you mean when you say a man should have game?/

You mean that given 2 guys with equal attributes. always pick the guys who slept with more women previously?

A man who knows game or is used to it is able to handle rejection more maturely than a man who hasn't. Game means he has put some effort in winning affection, like building chemistry, if he has no game, it means zero effort, this can be a bit awkward because he didn't use game or there's no foundation to it, a guy with zero game is a bad choice from the get go, because the level of interest is either too little or zero, he could be too egotistical or just lacking in attractiveness leading to collapse of the relationship one way or another down the line. A guy who has gamed you to get you, means he has not only shown interest but also put effort into chemistry, the relationship won't be awkward or uncomfortable and doesn't break easily since he is eager to maintain attraction, guys with zero game, there's no attraction to begin with, there is no experience of joy or romance, the woman is dry. 

 

 

Edited March 16, 2022 by Preety_India