10-Day Vipassana meditation course experience

[Vynce]

After many unsuccessful attempts of registration I finally was allowed to do my first 10 days of strict Vipassana meditation in Austria on behalf on S. N. Goenka. 

The course was laid out straight forward and really out of comfort. No media, nothing to write, no communication with others, waking up at 4 am, simple food twice a day and no contact to the "outside world". Basically perfect conditions for deep meditative work. The meditation techniques were just Anapana (observing breath) and Vipassana (observing sensations in the whole body). Anapana for sharpening the mind and Vipassana to develop direct wisdom on the nature of mind and body. I could go into that intellectually, but this will probably just bore you.  

In the following I want to give a personal overview how the course felt for me; what benefits it brought and what not to expect if I attend it again:

So already during the first days I could clearly see how my emotions and thought patterns behave without distractions from outside. From joyful creativity to blank depressive episode multiple facets of the mind revealed themself over the course of the day. This made it crystal clear to me, how subjective experience is over changing and fascinating if you just give it enough consciousness.

Then, on day 3-6 I really got intense day dreaming experiences, where my mind would play high resolution dreamed up realities. These scenarios could not be distinguished from "waking reality". Beautiful pictures and fascinating stories, but all imagined within seconds of closed eyes. This stopped after 6 days or so.

Then there was this phase of kneading through childhood memories and old forgotten mental activities. Tedious, but revealing.

Also intense physical sensation, like warm flowing energy movements and "pleasure explosions" inside the gut came to life occasionally. But craving for them made the mediation worse, so there "worth" was relative. 

However, my biggest achievement was to see the true mechanism of craving (and vice versa aversion). And that is, that you never crave the object of desire itself, but you actually you crave the craving. So for example if you are a guy and thinking about a super attractive woman there is craving happening in form of a bodily sensation. (For me its somewhere in the stomach area, as well as the upper neck.) And the more this idea of "you winning the woman" gets reality (in your mind or in reality), the more your craving will increase. Ultimately this craving must stop, because the woman left or you had sex with her. In either case, you want you still want to crave. So a new woman has to be found or a new car, new haircut, new carrier achievement and so on. The bottom line is, you think you want a specific object, but you actually want the wanting itself. Try to see this truth in your body right now. It's fascinating how simple it sounds, but no one really cared to explain. 

On the other hand this kind of meditation practice won't give you non-dual experiences or no-mind as effectively as psychedelics or holotropic breathwork do. So don't go with any related expectations into the course. 

Overall a great opportunity to learn about oneness in a clean non-dogmatic environment. Big recommendation.

 

[mojsterr]

Wow, the craving part is very interesting. Thanks.