2 Months of Daily 90 Minute Strong Determination Sitting - My Profound Results/Report

[aurum]

@Consilience good insights man! Your schedule is intense, I like it.

As far as a the whole psychedelics debate, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I’ve used them in the past and plan to use them again in the future. The insights are radical and often genuine. And I do believe they can create true healing for people, as seen from my own experience and from the experience of others. People have literally cured hard drug addiction with a single session of Ibogaine or Ayahuasca. 

At the same time, I’ve also seen people who have spun their wheels with psychedelics. People who may have had deep insights, but seem to still struggle with many basic emotional problems, limiting beliefs, etc.

I don’t really know why some people seem to get better results than others. Lack of “manual” practice and integration perhaps. Lack of proper intention. Or perhaps this debate goes deeper than any technique or substance. Perhaps it’s simply the soul’s will to have that experience. And all our arguing about what method is best is just laughable.

What I do know is that I currently resonate with more of a manual approach as well. That feels like it gives me the deepest integration and embodiment, which is what I’m really interested in. And if I can sprinkle in some peak psychedelic experiences every once in a while to see what that brings, I’m happy with that as well.

 

[bambi]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I would just say you're not awake.

The Buddha is imaginary. When you really awaken you're realize that.

The real fruit is so radical you will not care about purification or changing your habits.

But hey, whatever works for ya. I don't want to piss on your triumphs.

That isn't true, God-realization has no ought on your behaviors in this dream in either direction (see is ought hulme). Realizing your God doesn't circumvent the need to not being a drug addict, nor does it state you should be a drug addict, it says absolutely nothing about what you should or shouldn't do. So to say once you realize your God you will not care about suffering or learning or developing or burning your hand, simply isn't true.

As soon as you add the context I want to live a good live, or suffer less, or become God-like (embodiment), then for sure you will want to change your habits, it is a prerequisite 

[Consilience]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I would just say you're not awake.

The Buddha is imaginary. When you really awaken you're realize that.

The real fruit is so radical you will not care about purification or changing your habits.

But hey, whatever works for ya. I don't want to piss on your triumphs.

I would just say the awake dick measuring contest is more mental garbage you need to work through if you’re actually interested in Awakening, which it’s clear you’re not.

Of course the Buddha is imaginary, all of life of a dream. Your point?

The real fruit is so radical you will not cling to or incessantly seek peak experiences.

 

[nistake]

Man, this is some inspiring stuff right there. Great report!

Your overall message really resonates with me. This is real, mature spirituality. ?

[Spiral Wizard]

17 hours ago, Consilience said:

Depending on how this is received, I may make an additional practice report going into more generally how it's been living and training in community at MAPLE. There is so much that could be said, but I'll go on ahead and end it here. I hope this report helps inspire you to take meditation more seriously, and provides a glimpse into what is possible with rigorous meditation practice.

Your posts are very inspiring and greatly appreciated! 

[Gili Trawangan]

12 hours ago, Consilience said:

It's paradoxical because yes, wholeness, complete happiness is a quality of this moment, but this happiness doesn't exclude the horrors of the world, nor the grieving of such horrors. The happiness of awakening is independent of perceptual conditions. This is radical. This claim is absolutely radical. It means that the grieving, pain, and even suffering, when held in the view of Awakening, is happiness. 

@Consilience I understand what you mean and I agree. I was just pointing out that there are no conditions for happiness now - grieving can occur (it has for me personally very recently) but I don't see it as a requirement for right relationship with God. Yes, it's a paradox, both ideas can be held together.

12 hours ago, Consilience said:

Your description of the world seems more in line with an Arahant's view, whereas mine is more in line with a Bodhisattva's. My personal awakening means very little to me if it's not helping to bring harmony to other beings. To treat the world as an insubstantial illusion, while a perfectly accurate view, feels too contracted and self oriented. 

Fair enough. I had to look up the terms Arahant and Bodhisattva because I didn't remember what they meant, but you seem to have guessed right. Buddhahood doesn't feel like it's in the cards for me. It is for you though, and that's fantastic.

Anyway, I sincerely hope you continue to post, I for one would love to hear more about your experiences. You are one of maybe a dozen members here that actually provides food for thought - at least for me. Your insights come from a deeper place than merely intellect, and in many ways the work you're doing is admirable.

[Evoke]

Wow, this post made me more inspired than ever to restart my spiritual practice. ?

[Forza21]

Super interesting post!

I love meditation, and i keep 1h a day from more than a year, for some weeks it was 2h-3h~~  a day. Also solo retreats.

I'm becoming more skeptical about psychedelics. My recent trip was pure solipsism hell, and i think it's too much wisdom to handle.

Daily practice humbles you down, and it dissolves your ego.  It's slower way,sure, but i think it might be a solution for me in the long run. I had a terrible time with integrating recent psychedelic trip.

my questions are:
Do you still use psychedelics? What's your meditation exactly, with closed/open eyes? what's the difference for you?
Thanks!:)



@btw if it comes to Leo, i don't get it. His videos are brilliant, but here on forum he's harsh. Everything is imaginary, including him.  Those statements are unclear, and sometimes it puts me into solipsistic terror. I'm thinking about stepping back off forum too.
 

Edited March 13, 2022 by Forza21

[Husseinisdoingfine]

3 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

@btw if it comes to Leo, i don't get it. His videos are brilliant, but here on forum he's harsh. Everything is imaginary, including him.  Those statements are unclear, and sometimes it puts me into solipsistic terror. I'm thinking about stepping back off forum too.

I feel the exact same way broski.

[VictorB02]

Beautiful post, thank you for your concise and clear-cut sharing. I really appreciated reading that.

22 hours ago, Consilience said:

I hope that by reading this report, the great psychonauts of Actualized.org can realize the importance of manual practice and perhaps start to see more clearly what needs to be done manually, and the ultimate limits of psychedelics.

The psychedelic thing makes me think of Ram Dass, where before he met his guru he said he did 100+ trips trying to "stabilize" that state of consciousness, even going to lengths like locking himself in a house with friends and taking a new tab of LSD every 4-5 hours for a week, only to walk out of the house after 168 hours of tripping to come crashing down to earth and his everyday consciousness. He was devastated to say the least, he was on the forefront of psychedelics and spirituality, but couldn't seem to fully mend the two together. 

Then he met his guru Neem Karoli Baba, who "didn't come down".

Safe to say I'm sure Ram Dass put down the psychedelics at that point and understood that, no matter how many peak experiences you have with psychs, you're going to come down from a trip. BUT there is something you don't come down from, that isn't a peak experience - I love that. It keeps the hope and motivation of walking the path for me. 

I've had mind blowing awakenings and realizations on psychedelics only to come down, every. single. time. And then wish I could have somehow kept that state. And although psychedelics have been absolutely essential to my path, specifically psilocybin, and like you said have shown you things you're not even sure you were ready to see, at this point, meditation is my path. And not even as a means of awakening - but just of being. It's almost like the honeymoon with mind blowing psychedelic experiences is over for me, I just want to be that stable, steady, and true awareness that isn't dependent on a chemical, that doesn't go up or down, that always is: and to just know and be that very very very clearly. Much like Ramana Maharshi, Ram Dass, Neem Karoli Baba, Nisagadartta Maharaj, Adyashanti, or even Shinzen Young.

These are realized beings who are there soberly. Even Shinzen Young said he blazed through cannabis as a youngster, only to ultimately give it up.

And honestly seeing posts like yours keep me motivated - to contemplate, meditate, and do the work. These posts are a reminder to me and others that it's not a waste of time - that something deeply valuable will come from that inner work. So thank you.

Cheers @Consilience  

[ardacigin]

Great to hear again from you, Ethan  Your absence was felt. Amazing schedule. Sounds like you are having progress.

I'm also covering some new ground. I'll share it soon with the forum. 

Keep it up and let us know how things are going.

[Surfingthewave]

@Consilience Fabulous insights here, keep up the good work. A breath of fresh air. 

You've motivated me to keep going deeper with the meditation. 

Please do keep posting the reports ? 

[mrPixel]

Nice post!

[axiom]

@Consilience Can you clarify if your practice is essentially Vipassana, i.e. full body scanning? Or just focusing on the breath / something else? I find the former VERY boring, although it does probably yield the best results.

[WelcometoReality]

On 2022-03-12 at 7:32 PM, Consilience said:

Yet this end is impossible unless we merge, come into marriage with, and move towards our own pain, our own suffering. Awakening without this unification is incomplete, half-baked, and ultimately a pitiful substitute for what our hearts actually yearn for.

Yes awakening is just the beginning. After that comes the embodiment work and it's amazing to see the egoic patterns fall away. I wouldn't trade it away for all the samadhi experiences in the world. ?

To be ok with being in any state really provides some great benefits for the world. ?

[Arthogaan]

@Consilience What about your coffee habit?

[Ry4n]

On 13/3/22 at 1:53 PM, Leo Gura said:

I would just say you're not awake.

The Buddha is imaginary. When you really awaken you're realize that.

The real fruit is so radical you will not care about purification or changing your habits.

But hey, whatever works for ya. I don't want to piss on your triumphs.

Lol ? the smell of condescension is simply unreal ?

Edited March 22, 2022 by Ry4n

[Ry4n]

23 hours ago, axiom said:

I find the former VERY boring, although it does probably yield the best results.

Yoga and breath work are pretty awesome for when meditation gets too boring/frustrating. 

[Consilience]

Just wanted to say thank you guys for the support. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to everyone but reading the reports, reflections, and support means a lot. And lastly, regardless of where you're at, thank you for your practice. The impact one's spiritual path has on the world can be so subtle yet so significant. 

[Consilience]

23 hours ago, axiom said:

@Consilience Can you clarify if your practice is essentially Vipassana, i.e. full body scanning? Or just focusing on the breath / something else? I find the former VERY boring, although it does probably yield the best results.

Sure. My main practice is not vipassana, at this point it is the do nothing technique, also called silent illumination, just sitting, shikantaza, dzogchen, or surrender. 

Just for clarification, vipassana is not body scanning. Body scanning can be a form of vipassana, but really vipassana as a practice is when we're intentionally paying attention to one or some combination of the three marks of existence, the casual nature of phenomena, or emptiness. It's not body scanning, but body scanning can be a focus space when practicing vipassana. So for example, if I'm ever formally practicing vipassana, I 99% of the time will use Shinzen Young's See Hear Feel technique, which has a focus space of all sensory phenomena. 

I also enjoy practicing breath focus as well if my nervous system feels out of harmony or if I just feel like it. 

Yes I typically find body scanning to be not as exciting as other practices, however boredom is actually an emotional response indepedent of the sensations of the body. When we've developed enough access concentration, whether momentary or single pointed access concentration, body scanning becomes deeply interesting. The body can start to dissolve into feeling like waves or merging with space. The only reason the body doesn't feel that way right now is that the mind is so dis-harmonized and caught in subliminal craving and aversion, out of this lack of clarity emerges the mirage of solidity and individuality. 

If you have trouble accessing deep states during meditation, I would recommend looking into the book The Mind Illuminated or looking into Shinzen Young's See Hear Feel technique. Each is extremely rewarding to practice and each has enormous depth.