Peter pan complex still kicking at near 40yo

[Shawn Philips]

When I was a kid my father abandoned my mother, sister and me. From this moment I was forced by the circumstances to finish the basic education and focus on working because my family was poor.

So I missed most things that normal people live in young age: Going to the university, making social bonds, the parties, the first teenage love, playing in a sport team, going to final career travel…

Now I’m 39, and I realize I’m attracted to adolescent things, like my subconscious is gravitating towards the things I missed or I didn’t experienced.

I usually find myself watching movies or TV series for teenagers like camp rock for example, everything related to this life stage. Yes it’s a bit ridiculous.

I actually feel attracted to young women instead of the ones of my age. Probably young women wont be able of having a interesting conversation and have life experience, but I cannot fight the attraction to the freshness of somebody who still hasnt been burned out by the letdowns of life.

I’m a little bit confused in this concept, because I don’t know if I’m just a beauty seeker, or I’m genuinely attracted to young women.

The thing Is I don’t feel integrated with my generation, when I see some friends having kids and married, this life is not for me. Often peterpans are shamed into immaturity for not wanting to form a family. I just value more my freedom, while marriage and kids are just a social conditioner trap to keep men in the work force 10-20 years more than a single man.

But going back to the main topic, Im kinda worried that my teenage phase will last forever like a unresolved issue. How could I overcome it? Or should I? Or is it healthy to be a inner child trapped in a old body?

[Leo Gura]

26 minutes ago, Shawn Philips said:

I actually feel attracted to young women

You and 4 billion other guys.

Quote

while marriage and kids are just a social conditioner trap to keep men in the work force 10-20 years more than a single man.

Or maybe some people just enjoy marriage and kids as a lifestyle?

Doesn't mean you have to.

Quote

But going back to the main topic, Im kinda worried that my teenage phase will last forever like a unresolved issue. How could I overcome it? Or should I? Or is it healthy to be a inner child trapped in a old body?

Burn through that karma. Pursue and fulfill some of your teenage desires. Just don't be sleeping with underaged girls.

[puporing]

Nothing wrong with skipping what others do (marriage, kids) altogether if it doesn't speak to you. Seems like you've had your fill of the "caregiver" role. Yes it's very possible to be exhausted by taking care of your family from a young age (mentally/emotionally and/or financially) and only find the opportunity to live your life once you are older (pretty common in traditional hierarchical cultures where the child is expected to take care of/soothe the parents). I to this day feel like my parents and most so called adults I interact with are "toddlers" from a developmental standpoint... And that's enough for me .

[Esilda]

@Shawn Philips I am re-commencing therapy next week for a few different situations; love, family, past bad experiences, coaching. You've gotta open up to someone that can help you heal if not a therapist. Weekly. I know that it's so difficult though, our heads can become such messes sometimes, wishing you well  .

[ZzzleepingBear]

It probably depends on who you ask. Since the majority of adults try to fit themselves into an adult role of having kids etc, for what ever reason. Then the general answear will be: Yes, yes you should.

"Should" is a funny magical word.. But it are less funny if you happen to believe that it means something. And unfortunately, alot of so called adults are under the spell of shoulds, since they follow along with popular opinion.

My answear would go something like this. What do you feel most inspired to do?