Tome of the Phoenix

[Rokazulu]

I have begun recording my journey of Enlightenment in audio and writing format.
You can find my writings here: https://jaronfund.com/phoenix-tome/

I have decided to post my journal in this forum as well. To paraphrase what I have written so far, I expound what I find useful information in my self-knowledge journey and what I have discovered to be of service in life.

When I discovered this type of information it was understood that following one's passion is the point of existence. People's passion's vary, and most individuals do not follow their passion because of the pressure of society or others. For me, I always had an enjoyment of video games so I felt that perhaps I could pursue that as my passion. I created one such game titled "Path of Vidya" which I felt was good because it was a game that focused on non-violence, communication, and Enlightenment. The story is closely tied to my "awakening" experience into what I usually call "the greater reality", that had me in states of negative mystical experiences (sometimes labeled as schizophrenia). I had expectations that my work was going to allow me to earn a living and be self-sufficient, but I soon discovered that this was a misalignment to have any expectations at all, because it creates a desire that may be better left unfulfilled.

This has shifted me away from lofty material goals and rooted firmly in the energy of self-realization. In addition to creating two video games, I have written two books, created animations, comics, digital art, music, and a podcast. Perhaps, one day I will find something that helps me become self-sufficient, but luckily through this external work I can realize that self-realization is before everything else, and what work I do feel personally guided to do, comes with the bliss of having zero expectations for its material success.

So this means in every moment I focus on the energy field within my body, away from trivial thoughts, or even creative thoughts. Naturally, if I need to create, it comes through without the need for the incessant banter, and this allows my life to flow with relative ease and conviction. Though, only if I can focus on that, and not get swept up in the idea that I have to force myself to become better than what I already know I am capable of. The idea is that if I were to know I could be better now, I would have already decided to do so, instead of think about the possibility.

In 2019, I became more heavily focused on politics than I ever had before. It is the single most dividing factor in our lives, and is a topic I am endeavoring to keep within its own domain because I discovered I received very little in allowing someone to represent my views and direct my life. While this may assume Anarchy or Apathy, it does not. I just know there is a path that goes right through the dividing lines, and meets with everyone's needs within the realm of free will. As well, as the free will for individuals to vote for a representative if they choose.

Grasping these multiplicity of views (whether spiritual, scientific, political or otherwise) is definitely the whole of it, from my perspective. It made me go completely insane on a number of occasion. I have only recently been able to balance it to a rather stable degree. So many assume the objectivity of their reality without connecting to the expansiveness within their own potential. And so, I find my biggest challenge is often with the words I am using. Our words have to follow one after the other, and so much is left out or not focused upon because they have to appear to have a coherent trajectory in their logic or will be left open to being more easily misinterpreted and can then cause others to feel disempowered in their potential. (This is not an ideal expression, since all of us are capable of great conscious power, whether or not they presently appear to be misaligned in their endeavor to Enlightenment)

When I was younger, I was completely imbalanced in my perception. Yet, during this most unusual experience, there was a small child who simply looked at me and said "He is a spiritual teacher". Certainly, that idea is quite attractive to me, and at the same time seems far away. I would not like to sound as if I know something more than what another already knows for themself, because truly the individual grows in awareness through their own volition and not through anything outside their own self. So it is probably something for the distant future, perhaps another life? There is still this matter of Enlightenment that continues to itch at my sense of total well-being.

Which brings me back to the path of which contains a multiplicity of understanding. Often I find myself quitting all endeavors and just sitting down meditating. I make it an enjoyment to meditate for 1-4 hours a day, rarely, though sometimes, it is longer than that. Doing so has brought me far more peace and expansive experiences than anything else. And yet, I can understand that some have pointed out; meditation itself being a trap. Still, I can say that it is my passion to do so, and a passion to speak about matters that involve higher consciousness.

I find myself constantly wondering if I am qualified to speak on such matters, since I myself, haven't fully realized how these principles are interacting in my personal life. For those who know channeled material, they will often point out that this does not matter. The exploration of these ideas, and the discussing of them, and understanding of them are one of the same. So one might as well speak with God realization now, because that is the truth of the matter in the present moment. I endeavor to embody that ideal more and more, and trust the process unfolds as it needs to.

I will post more entries as needed. I only wish for humanity to find itself better adapted towards more enlightened endeavors in the future. And I do see, that this begins with how we interact with one another by way of the amount of bliss, love, and wisdom we allow our self to receive.

 

Edited March 10, 2022 by Rokazulu

[Rokazulu]

I am about to write another entry, but this one you are about to read was for yesterday. Today, I had quite an uplifting shift in experience, thanks to a member who reached out to me on this very board! (As well as an astral experience).


XXIII: What Does A Mirror See In Another Mirror?

March 14th, 2022: In my life, I keep spirituality as the essential focus of all my endeavors. This has allowed me to stay in a positive state when going about the usually mundane activities that is currently expressed in our world. However, it is probably best to make no distinctions at all, between what is spiritual and what isn’t.

I was listening to someone speak about their life on a youtube video. It was someone who expresses spiritual wisdom to thousands of people, mainly through channeling. While listening to him authentically speak about the challenges and frustrations he had to deal with in his life, my shadow self came to a strange sense of pleasure in believing that it had something “spiritual” over this individual by way of some sort of happiness metric that it concocted.

Perhaps, you have read the second line in this article and created a thought of envy or disapproval. “This has allowed me to stay in a positive state.”

This statement is only half-true. I could have wrote “mostly” positive state and it would be more accurate to what I experience on a daily basis (through the modalities of wisdom I have been able to absorb from the myriad of mystical explorers in this realm and elsewhere). Yet, it would be just as misleading to state it as “mostly” positive as well. Any individual’s experience can’t be so easily described or presumed.

When I experience negativity, it is usually brief and my focus shifts to something I can grasp as good, since anything else feels as though I am wasting my time. However, in many dreams I experience, the depth of the negativity is extremely intense. No matter how brief it may be, it always leaves me stirred up, or perhaps more accurately (dare I say) very disturbed.

To say I am disturbed seems like a misnomer in dialogue, because certainly that energy leaves me as soon as the day begins, but the idea that I can be disturbed to begin with, is an indicator of missing something very important. Some have termed this “missing quality” as a 4th density state of consciousness (seeing through one’s self completely). It is also more famously known as Enlightenment.

After listening to this person speak about their life on youtube, I went to sleep and had a very intense dream of my own inner turmoil. It was that still humble reminder, that I have ways to go myself, to master my emotions and physical reality.

Listening in on certain people, we can assume what we can come to know about their state of consciousness. But, we only get a reflection of ourselves. It may seem as though someone is complaining, or that they are enveloped in misery and suffering, but there is no way of knowing this. The only knowledge there is, is self-knowledge.

Often, we may misinterpret single slices of another’s experience as the entire experience of their present life. But, just because something is being expressed in the moment as being a certain way, does not necessarily mean that it is that way all the time. It can crop up in many different moments as just a shallow sense of negativity. While for others, it may be a long-drawn out emotional sickness that is experienced only once over the course of many months.

The point here is that I was unconsciously lording something over someone and was swiftly met with a mirror of my own inadequacies.

It is interesting how eager I can become in finding the words to express how spiritually evolved I have become. For certain, I have been able to find an astonishing degree of positivity in my life. And for sure, there are people out there who have just gone numb towards anything that could shine a more blissful light on their situation. They would read words of enlightened mystics or rather joyful modern spiritual teachers of today, and completely gloss over at any sense of self-integration with their aspects. Just rolling their eyes with contempt, yawning with indifference to any growth towards a deeper love, and making statements along the lines of them being “fraudulent”, “inauthentic”, or containing “toxic positivity”.

Of course the funny thing is, when spiritually minded individuals get called out as such, they always seem to fall for the unconscious bait. In turn, they become offended and frustrated with themselves and blame the trolls for their anger. What is being reflected to us, is always an opportunity to see whether we desire to take our words in the same way or not.

In those dream states I described earlier, I always find myself meeting with a true inadequacy of potential. This always seems to manifest itself as a powerful negative belief of being worthless. This is actually, the central idea that all of humanity is attempting to alchemize. It becomes rather difficult when we are met with reflections of ourselves that use words in a way that appear to disempower us. Though, it is best not to blame anyone. Because it is definitely the case, that these individuals really truly desire to empower us, but they don’t yet have the tools of expressing it.

For example, when some of us use words like “you’re stupid, you’re a cancer on society, you are useless” so on so forth. They are coming from a place of love to that which is believed to be intelligent, healing, and useful to society. So in the way they express themselves, they are attempting to do good, but they are not aware that the words they are using is having the opposite overall effect. (As it not only effects those that the words are directed too, but to everyone who may see the words and whom said them).

Fortunately, nothing has to negatively effect anyone’s consciousness so long as they are aware of the infinite reflectivity that is reverberating throughout the mirror of our souls. In exploring my intense astral dream experiences, I gain more insight about this predicament. It can only be said that it has to remain central only to my own self-knowledge (there is no one else). So that, the demons and monstrosities that I see and have to face up to, are quite real in the sense of entities on other planes, but perhaps more real as the energy we have to transmute when we are met with a single complaint in our lives.

This energy is sharp and can strike at any time. Which is why I suggest a perpetual meditation of the energy body, in order to better align with a more blissful experience.

The greatest weakness lies in our sense of worthiness as an individual; it is where trolls of the astral or worldly kind can more easily strike at our temperaments. For me specifically, I know it has a lot to do with my inability to create wealth for myself. For you it could be any number of things. Appearance, Relationships, Speech, Skills, Health, Intelligence— all are intertwined with the core idea of self-worth.

It may be assumed by this, that one has to force their will to achieve more in life as a result of these shortcomings, but that is a rather limited way of looking at this situation.

Certainly, we can find ways of improving our situation in the external world, and there is no reason not to fulfill any desire that we may have; equally though, is going deeper into our self-realization and coming to the conclusion that our fundamental well-being is not based in any of these ideals.

Freeing ourselves from these restraints can allow us to obtain our desire with less frustration. However, we will always be challenged and tested by the universe to see if we really have made the internal change we say we have. Time is also a very defining factor in the way we go about fulfilling desire. We may be able to internalize our situation for a very long time and then find ourselves many years later, longing for what we potentially missed out on— like a monk who returns to the world after a lifetime meditating in a monastery.

What still remains more powerful than anything I have said, is what the subject believes and knows about what is true in their own life. Since the reader has the ability to feel good or bad about what has been said, then it be incumbent upon that individual to seek their own realization of what is preferable and what is not. What words need to be used and what does not. What actions need to be taken, and what actions are best left for others to deal with.

Perhaps, it is what some mystics have known all along. Nothing needs to be said, and nothing needs to be done.

Sitting quietly by the lake,
I see myself reflected in the water.
I can’t yet change the atoms of the water,
But when I smile,
The water helps to reflect back

It all plays itself out anyways.
 

[Rokazulu]

Another entry, for this forum alone:

The idea of fulfilling one's desires in life, I have found, to definitely be a pre-requisite before any focused enlightened endeavor.

After listening to two audiobooks that happened to center around the masters of Himalayas, I was reminded how deep consciousness can expand into. I have always longed to retreat into some kind of monastery, and the better it would be, if I was taught by great masters. Masters who have realized beyond many physical limitations.

But, this idea, I have finally realized is far too lofty for me to undergo at this time. Perhaps, even within this life (though I am not so sure of that conviction...). During the winter I decided to stop doing any creative works, after finishing my fledgling video game "World Tree".  During these meditations I definitely found (and continue to find) a profound sense of bliss and perfection. And yet, most days my mind would wander into ideas of material advancement. "Will I ever afford a house?" "Maybe, I would enjoy the experience of a family?" "Will my creative works ever give me an income?" "What do I need to focus on in order to become someone who makes an impact within the world?" (or if not the world, at least the internet!! HA! Ha!)

These questions would arise even when I attempted to convince myself I was done looking for anything other than Enlightenment. My meditation was just simply not becoming any deeper or more profound than it already was. Thus, the futility in the idea I would ever make a good monk, at the moment. Work has to be done, and I am glad I was able to realize that by posting about my struggles in a more inquisitive way on this very forum (instead of usually being the one with the answers). For of course, I see many questions of which I know the answer to. Absolutely know, and without doubt, because I have already gone through the experience the questioner is struggling with. But, for ways to make an income? I have no answer as of yet. Only many suggestions.

So after talking with Consept (member of this forum), the pendulum of my life swung to the opposite extreme and I had completely forgotten all my mindfulness work up until that point. I was filled with so much energy I didn't know what to do with it, and my mind was in a haze from lack of focus on my energy body. Yet, I was able to create many things during this time, and garner ideas of what I could do to improve my work.

I came up with several animations:
 

I also decided to do some quick informative videos:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtifZ23cZn_gyMGMnHryHsQ

As well as record several podcasts:
https://anchor.fm/auramystica

Along with a bit of writing:
https://jaronfund.com/phoenix-tome/

You may give me your opinion, so I can improve my work. I am not so sure what will allow me the most success, so I still find myself exploring a variety of content. Though definitely, I feel as though I need to focus on my animations and podcast the most for whatever reason.

It has also been challenging to realize that perhaps more research of trends will be needed, and ways to attract more people to my content. As well, difficult to see how poor my animation/video quality is compared to the more popular content out there. I trust I no longer have to delete anything from embarrassment. All that i have to do, is make the next piece of content better than before.

All I can do is what I know to do in the moment. I am glad now, that i have begun my regular meditation practice again. Focusing on my energy body whenever I can, as well as sitting for several hours a day. Rhythm has certainly compensated the extremity of my recent experiences.

I also had one of the greatest lucid/astral dreams I have ever had in awhile when I begun this journey. An ET like lady caressed me, and pulled me out of my body into an enchanted tree. I felt as though, this entirely  new dimension I found myself in, was created for me and because of me. As though, there was some kind of future cult that found my work most useful (hard to imagine that as being real.)

I will continue to find ways of improving my work, if at all possible. And then, perhaps I will be able to finally afford that house. Certainly if I succeed, I will stop posting these journals. I am 33 years old. 33 being the master builder number, gives me some sense of balance in the process.

"One step thou has gained on the long pathway upward, infinite now is the mountain of Light. Each step thou taketh but heightens the mountain; all of thy progress but lengthens the goal. Approach ye ever the infinite Wisdom, ever before thee recedes the goal. " - Thoth the Atlantean

Edited April 4, 2022 by Rokazulu

[Rokazulu]

"Journal Entry for Actualized.org"

My dream was very good last night. I feel like I don't get enough of what I experienced in it.
I am not certain if anyone is reading this, but that is alright. This helps me to guide my actions towards the higher principles in life.

I have continued to work on my goal of being self-sufficient while doing my passion. It somehow seems as though I am actually getting a bit more attention for the work I do, but not nearly enough for any kind of monetary compensation. This has to be alright. If I say it isn't, then I would lose all motivation. What is not typical in my behavior is actually looking for a job on the side. I have never done this before, as i assumed I would be alright spreading spiritual wisdom through my various endeavors. Now, I no longer feel as though I am wasting my time with side efforts, because I figured I was already doing that anyways in the form of mindlessly browsing the web, playing video games, or generally just loafing around my area in meditation.

Doing so, I have been able to find options such as teachings people English virtually, or testing apps/websites for companies. Haha, though of course, this too is not currently unfolding as quick as I liked. So I actually put in an application for a vegan restaurant close by. I have no expectations at all at the outcome. I figured that if God, (the All) wants me to work these jobs, then I will be given the job. And if not, then I will feel no pressure in doing anything else, that isn't my passion.

But the problem is that what I like to do, is closely linked to what I believe I could do to make a living. And this means that a sliver of fame is necessary for me to make a living on doing some of the stuff I am interested in. This got me considering the responsibility of being in such a position where I had more eyes to my content. Thus the birth of this animation:

If I Gained 1 Million Viewers

Which of course,  had no interest because I can't figure out how to game the algorithm. Or perhaps more likely, is that I am simply not ready for that experience as my content needs to improve and I need to ensure I don't give into those that will insult me for it.

This idea leads into a conversation I had with my musician friend Akio Daku. Since I was wondering how much I would have to research trends, how much I had to become greedy and create click-bait titles in order to gain attention, and how much I needed to upload my material on the multitude of platforms and social media sites, in order to expand my "territory" on the internet. For him, it was not a conflict, because he considered himself an artist not a content creator. In his eyes, he was going to do his own thing whether or not it got attention, and find other ways to survive in the meantime. As well, it made me consider all that wasted time could be better used in creating more content or learning how to make higher quality content. (I suppose I have to realize I would then become a "spiritual content creator" and perhaps drift away from being an artist).

It is what I am currently exploring in my life, and why I write this. But, also I am writing this for the definite possibility that you will click my podcast and have a listen, that you may engage with me and I may help you along your path either through entertainment or through wisdom. But, better still would be for you to engage with me and you may help ME along the higher path, and give me insight that would further my ability to create wealth in this world.

Why so focused on wealth you may ask? The reason is because I have nearly mastered the most important portion of my spirituality. The idea of controlling one's state of being towards preference. The idea of knowing what to do, and where to be, is all in the aspect of exploration. With this in mind, nothing has to be a strain, unless it is more fun to have strain.

I clearly see that if I gain an income and be self-sufficient— it would be enough to further my spiritual advancement to that of conscious astral projections, and reaching the higher densities through a much, more peaceful meditation. So long as I have this desire, my thoughts will always hold me back from feeling unworthy to be within that state of being.

It is very cool! Because as soon as I made this decision I did see that I was making a little bit of money doing my endeavors. I was sent $1.80 for all the writing I have done for Medium.com. And Anchor.fm's sponsorship has given me about .88! Which means I am a professional writer,  a professional podcaster, and, of course, a professional game creator. Though, the amount I have been compensated for all this work is obviously laughable, it just feels like a sign from the universe, that indeed continuing to work on my content, on my spirituality, and on my art is what will help me to be materially lifted up into a more preferable space.

And at the same time, I must realize that these are all narratives I am creating in order to delay my inevitable Enlightenment in the future!


 

Edited April 17, 2022 by Rokazulu

[Rokazulu]

Here is another bonus journal entry for the Tomes of the Phoenix

It is interesting that I am writing here, for my entry. I could be writing on a number of spiritual forums, or on a number of writing websites. It seems I desire for my work to be more well known. But, luckily I had a good conversation with my friend Raffael of Austria that reminded me of where real truth lies, within what is usually defined as the 'subjective nature of reality.' You will have to listen to the talk to get more insight, but what I found is that I have been treating my skills in expanding intuitive knowledge as a subtle game of either right or wrong. However, through our talk, I was reminded how nuance the process is. Wrong is a matter of perspective when all things work on a certain timing. In life, it seems rather useful to honor the timing of synchronicity. Not everyone is ready to be wrong. Not everyone is ready to be right.

Listening to a randomized song today, "End of An Empire" by Turisas (some fringe folk metal band from Finland). I recalled the interesting lyrics I have heard many times before:

You look back in time
No one heard the bells chime
You wonder how
How could they this allow?

Exactly the same
Are the questions aimed your way
When looking back on today

Open your eyes!
Yourself apprise!
All empires find their demise...

Which was rather synchronistic, as just yesterday I was listening to a podcast that was titled "The End of the American Empire Is Here" which quite convincingly was foretelling a likely disruption in how our society operates, due to the rampant fueling of war, wealth disparity, and fact that people still believe that either Republicans or Democrats are going to do anything about it. A type of political theater on display for the rare statesmen or women that may tell a bit of the truth. And unfortunately the only ones that do get the opportunity to tell the truth or act in just ways are still proto-fasicists in other ways. Not a very light-hearted thing to listen to.

Nonetheless, perhaps this is the only way for change to occur? I am always optimistic about human potential to grow in awareness, but perhaps the only way for us to make any action towards that effect, is through a major collapse of all our institutions. I wouldn't wish it, but that seems to be the choice I see everyone taking at the moment. Myself included.

As an example, Robert A.F. Thurman started to follow me back on twitter. I enjoy this man's lectures on Tibetan Buddhism very much, since he is knowledgeable on that front, but his politics are as dangerous as anyone else's. Some of his posts are less than encouraging, such as sending more money to help Nancy Pelosi, "hold" seats for Democrats. "Hold" is really the only word Democrats can use to justify their cause while still taking donations from companies like Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, and a number of oil and union-busting companies.

So what is this world where a Buddhist, who preaches compassion and love, still believes it is good to donate to a party that unanimously voted for a 40 billion dollar weapons package to Ukraine? That kind of funding could solve homeless in America, but instead we send it straight to the hands of weapons companies so that we can use the Ukrainian people as cannon fodder for a proxy war against a nuclear power? And no one thinks this is at all strange?

This I can all see, and yet there is no fear of what is to come. If this is how it plays out, then this is how it must play out. Circling back around to the podcast I had with my friend. It is the idea of being aware of negativity without being effected by it. A challenge in our times, but very possible. Likely, it will be the people of high vibration (mystical philosophers) who lead the way with trust and cooperation in the real world, if things really do dissolve in the next three or so years. I still believe, that these... lightworkers, if you will, can maintain the energy to work compassionately with whomever, no matter if they voted left or right. They will be seen as community leaders, beacons of light during the darkness. They will emerge as heroes in our time of need. From there, it is possible that we will create an entirely new society.

This is how I see it now. No prediction can be made of the future, but as I notice how people are in the moment. How else could it be? Always, I seek to stay in balance, waiting for a time when my work will be required the most.

Latest animation:

Latest articles:
https://medium.com/@jaronfund

 

Edited May 29, 2022 by Rokazulu