Stuck in a rut

[SaltyMeatballs]

Over the last 2-3 months or so, I've become increasingly more depressed and unfulfilled with life. Today, I struggle to get out of bed, perform simple daily tasks and work effectively at my job.

I practice meditation everyday, I generally eat clean and have a strict exercise routine. I also take supplements and recently my blood test results were in the green.

I'm not suicidal and I have no intention.

I don't even know why I'm posting this and I don't expect any quick and easy fixes either.

This feeling is also not a justification for me to blame my career, family or current living situation. They are good.

Yet, I feel like crap. I made a list of things I could potentially do to get me out of this rut but these steps feel insurmountable. They are not big steps either.. like schedule a zoom call with a therapist. I have also noticed that there is a part of me which WANTS to stay depressed, as if it's part of my identity and needs to be defended/maintained.

I just feel hollow and empty inside and everything that I do brings no satisfaction or sense of achievement.

What do you think I could do? How would you deal with this situation?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Cathal]

If you are in a deep rut, the fundamental is creating support for yourself (like getting in touch with a therapist // youarerad.org) do psychedelics and reflect on what you want out of life (i would focus on how to change my life to meet my needs) and try your best to take the steps when you come down and integrate things, make change, try your best, rinse and repeat

of course you do, that is what the mind is, it wants to stay solid in survival and resists change that seems to threaten that - that's why you need support to build integrity so you can dig yourself out with a hand to pull you up when it seems too much

edit: you don't need to go on a mystical trip on psychedelics, a low dose and reflection is enough to really see why you get trapped in patterns and what kind of solutions you can make for yourself

Edited March 8, 2022 by catcat69123

[Breakingthewall]

I don't know your circumstance, but don't underestimate the mind's ability to hide trauma, pain and shame, unmanageable at a given moment, and that remain in the background, invisible. but to achieve this the mind castrates itself, it restricts itself. The more awake you are, the more of these knots will come to light. if you are clean, without knots, your feeling usually is serene vitality, joy

[SaltyMeatballs]

@catcat69123 @Breakingthewall Thanks for your input.

The solution then, it seems, is to continue raising awareness. 

On 3/8/2022 at 6:34 PM, catcat69123 said:

edit: you don't need to go on a mystical trip on psychedelics, a low dose and reflection is enough to really see why you get trapped in patterns and what kind of solutions you can make for yourself

What psychedelic would you recommend to best deal with this? 

[Breakingthewall]

Mushrooms are the best imo. Personally, it causes me a lot of procrastination, it is never the right day to spend 6 hours on a trip, but its benefits are enormous. It makes you look in the back of your mind like nothing else I've ever did. also meditation, but in a retreat, even if it is a solo trip, camping etc. some days to be with yourself without distractions