What do guys on this forum consider as feminine?

[Preety_India]

@LastThursday Lmao Marlyn Monroe, yea she is feminine but I'm not mistaken that she was heavily demonized for her sexy feminine style, they considered her impure or too seductive? 

 

[LastThursday]

@Preety_India yeah, that's just my personal idea of extremely feminine. I suspect men will always confuse extremely feminine for sexy and seductive and impure, they can be such simple unuanced creatures.

Here's an example of extremely feminine mostly through attire and hair. But also note how she holds her body and her facial expression (excuse the gratuity):

 

[Preety_India]

5 hours ago, Loba said:

The masculine wants the feminine to surrender to it's "leadership" but the masculine generally lacks good leadership qualities all across the board. ;P

"Shut up and do what I say."

That's what they think is feminine.

Yea I agree with the sexist bias against women. 

 

[BlueOak]

Well we all have preferences, so to generalise observations and my own:

Nothing sexier than a strong willed woman. I like a woman I can talk to like anyone else, and that challenges me. Fiery personality, because I have a strong personality a meek woman and I never last. I find that sort of fire in someone exciting. I also am attracted to spontaneity a lot because I am the opposite, dependable, reliable and steady.

Clothing, mannerisms, and voice softness are sexy. Think a whisper in the ear, a hand on the shoulder etc.  A man often has either the harder edge to them, logical way of thinking, the stern or competitive nature. So to balance that I think many prefer draping clothing, bracelets, scarf, earrings, men often are attracted visually at first so not dismissing that side of femininity is important. 

I personally like women who like touch, but everyone has their own way of expressing love. Some its gifts, some its voice, some its actions. For me a girl resting her head on my shoulder or sitting across my lap, those kind of things are love to me. 

Also again for me personally because I am overly serious, I like a partner that isn't. I like to be with someone who makes me want to joke with them, mess around and let my guard down. I find that kind of openess attractive in people generally, not just romantic partners.

Picture a fiery personality, who was joking with me, while we discussed something we both enjoyed sitting in our favorite spot together, and you'd see my ideal woman. - Togetherness. I need to her reflect companionship. Damn now I want to start dating again, enough of this fantasy. Hope it helps.

Edited March 7, 2022 by BlueOak

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, BlueOak said:

Nothing sexier than a strong willed woman. I like a woman I can talk to like anyone else, and that challenges me. Fiery personality, because I have a strong personality a meek woman and I never last. I find that sort of fire in someone exciting. I also am attracted to spontaneity a lot because I am the opposite, dependable, reliable and steady.

Most men would think that this is masculine. 

I remember my ex boyfriend telling me that I was the most feisty fiery woman he had ever met. I wasn't sure if he had meant it as a compliment. 

 

[BlueOak]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Most men would think that this is masculine. 

I remember my ex boyfriend telling me that I was the most feisty fiery woman he had ever met. I wasn't sure if he had meant it as a compliment. 

 

I would guess if he used the word fiesty it was a compliment yes!

I see that but I feel The Masculine for me is steadiness, protective, providing, disciplined. calm and rational. The feminine for me is creative, spontaneous, playful, passionate and expressive.

[Eph75]

From this point of view it's impossible not to conflate femininity with attributes that the male (or attracted) finds compelling and attractive. 

Where is the breakpoint between being feminine and trying to be attractive to men?

How can we even tell, as we're so deeply programmed towards attraction.

That leaves femininity to predominately include attractive, desirable features, and not anything that is less attractive or unattractive to men. 

Does it have to be attractive to be feminine?

Or is it about a power dynamic at play where the two halves need to come together is a state that creates a sensation of equilibrium? Where masculine is predominately "this way" and feminine is predominately "that way" but where there is no room for individuality? 

Breaking it down, it becomes more about the dynamic than about specific characteristics, and not limited to male and female or two individuals but also essential to the equilibrium that can be reached within ourselves. 

Strong "this or that" in ourselves, need a certain dynamic of other to have strong something else, to reach that equilibrium.

I can't say what is feminine without telling what attracts me more than not. That is also shallow and I recognize that those things have nothing to do with the equilibrium. And what positively affects that dynamic play ultimately isn't about someone else, it's about me. 

An example would be the pianist video in a previous post; attractive, sensual, alluring, graceful movement, glittery, girly, slim, devoted, invested, skillful and such a thing as the hand slowly touching the seat at the end.

Call it feminine it you like. 

It's also a façade, a persona, a game.

The distinction what authentic feniminity is feels much more interesting. 

That takes the attracted part out of the equation, but still the attractor's biases and self-deciet need to taken into account. Impossible to overcome? 

To me it comes down to dropping façades, persons and exiting the game. There's really no need to play, when the desire to play drops away.

Then what is true femininity would shine through, and it will attract, maybe not the same, but someone. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Eph75

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Eph75 said:

From this point of view it's impossible not to conflate femininity with attributes that the male (or attracted) finds compelling and attractive. 

Where is the breakpoint between being feminine and trying to be attractive to men?

How can we even tell, as we're so deeply programmed towards attraction.

That leaves femininity to predominately include attractive, desirable features, and not anything that is less attractive or unattractive to men. 

Does it have to be attractive to be feminine?

Or is it about a power dynamic at play where the two halves need to come together is a state that creates a sensation of equilibrium? Where masculine is predominately "this way" and feminine is predominately "that way" but where there is no room for individuality? 

Breaking it down, it becomes more about the dynamic than about specific characteristics, and not limited to male and female or two individuals but also essential to the equilibrium that can be reached within ourselves. 

Strong "this or that" in ourselves, need a certain dynamic of other to have strong something else, to reach that equilibrium.

I can't say what is feminine without telling what attracts me more than not. That is also shallow and I recognize that those things have nothing to do with the equilibrium. And what positively affects that dynamic play ultimately isn't about someone else, it's about me. 

An example would be the pianist video in a previous post; attractive, sensual, alluring, graceful movement, and such a thing as the hand slowly touching the seat at the end .

Call it feminine it you like. 

It's also a façade, a persona, a game.

The distinction what authentic feniminity is feels much more interesting. 

That takes the attracted part out of the equation, but still the attractor's biases and self-deciet need to taken into account. Impossible to overcome? 

To me it comes down to dropping façades, persons and exiting the game. There's really no need to play, when the desire to play drops away.

Then what is true femininity would shine through, and it will attract, maybe not the same, but someone. 

Haha that was the most vague answer ever.  it's like there was a tough battle going on in your mind before you typed this post. 

 

 

[Eph75]

No that's just how my mind works. A constant flow of this kind of bullshit. 

It's not really vague though, if you stay with it. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Eph75

[LastThursday]

4 hours ago, Eph75 said:

It's also a façade, a persona, a game.

The distinction what authentic feniminity is feels much more interesting. 

That takes the attracted part out of the equation, but still the attractor's biases and self-deciet need to taken into account. Impossible to overcome? 

To me it comes down to dropping façades, persons and exiting the game. There's really no need to play, when the desire to play drops away.

I think @Preety_India also wants to learn to be extremely feminine, so until she embodies it naturally, it will be a game and an act. But it's always going to be a game, because femininity is socially constructed in the first place.

An interesting question would be what (straight) women think being extremely feminine is, because that would take the attraction factor out of the equation.

[Preety_India]

16 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

I think @Preety_India also wants to learn to be extremely feminine, so until she embodies it naturally, it will be a game and an act. But it's always going to be a game, because femininity is socially constructed in the first place.

An interesting question would be what (straight) women think being extremely feminine is, because that would take the attraction factor out of the equation.

To me feminine means nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding and vulnerability. 

 

[Barbara]

4 hours ago, Eph75 said:

From this point of view it's impossible not to conflate femininity with attributes that the male (or attracted) finds compelling and attractive. 

Where is the breakpoint between being feminine and trying to be attractive to men?

How can we even tell, as we're so deeply programmed towards attraction.

That leaves femininity to predominately include attractive, desirable features, and not anything that is less attractive or unattractive to men. 

Does it have to be attractive to be feminine?

Or is it about a power dynamic at play where the two halves need to come together is a state that creates a sensation of equilibrium? Where masculine is predominately "this way" and feminine is predominately "that way" but where there is no room for individuality? 

Breaking it down, it becomes more about the dynamic than about specific characteristics, and not limited to male and female or two individuals but also essential to the equilibrium that can be reached within ourselves. 

Strong "this or that" in ourselves, need a certain dynamic of other to have strong something else, to reach that equilibrium.

I can't say what is feminine without telling what attracts me more than not. That is also shallow and I recognize that those things have nothing to do with the equilibrium. And what positively affects that dynamic play ultimately isn't about someone else, it's about me. 

An example would be the pianist video in a previous post; attractive, sensual, alluring, graceful movement, glittery, girly, slim, devoted, invested, skillful and such a thing as the hand slowly touching the seat at the end.

Call it feminine it you like. 

It's also a façade, a persona, a game.

The distinction what authentic feniminity is feels much more interesting. 

That takes the attracted part out of the equation, but still the attractor's biases and self-deciet need to taken into account. Impossible to overcome? 

To me it comes down to dropping façades, persons and exiting the game. There's really no need to play, when the desire to play drops away.

Then what is true femininity would shine through, and it will attract, maybe not the same, but someone. 

That's spot on. 

What matters in a union is sexual polarity. Now, who's the predominantly female, who's predominantly male energy... who cares? Just be authentic and you'll attract the opposite energy from the spectrum. And that's whats going to fulfill you. Not some act. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Barbara

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, Barbara said:

That's spot on. 

What matters in a union is sexual polarity. Now, who's the predominantly female, who's predominantly male energy... who cares? Just be authentic and you'll attract the opposite energy from the spectrum. And that's going to sexually fulfill you. Not some act. 

But I do believe that there are stereotypical masculine and feminine traits and embodying them is not necessarily an act. And if a man behaves in more masculine ways and if a woman behaves in more feminine ways then their chances to attract most people automatically increases. When we are in a dating circuit, we are not always looking for the perfect person, we also want to raise our own value in terms of attraction and attract the max number of people so getting most partners becomes easier. I don't see any harm in this. 

It's almost like telling a clueless girl who attends a party in a large baggy dress that it's not looking attractive on her and that she can dress sexier. It will only make her look more attractive. 

I don't know why her changing her style to look more attractive to most people should be considered an act? 

It's very discouraging to tell someone that they are acting when all they are doing is genuinely trying to do something that they want to do and just looking for clues. 

Kinda defeats the whole  purpose of why someone is asking the question in the first place. 

I would not tell someone that they were acting if they asked me advice on how to sound, look or behave in a way that seems cool or suits a trend/construct.

Rather than judging the act as fake or pretense I would be glad to give them tips and advice.

I agree with @LastThursday

 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Preety_India

[Barbara]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

When we are in a dating circuit, we are not always looking for the perfect person, we also want to raise our own value in terms of attraction and attract the max number of people so getting most partners becomes easier.

Fair enough  

[Barbara]

12 hours ago, Preety_India said:

To me feminine means nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding and vulnerability. 

Just don't get stuck in gender roles. You should have the liberty to do as you feel like. I would say that knowing and having confidence in yourself is more attractive than any premeditated action you feel would make you more attractive. But still, learning about feminine and masculine energies might be helpful for your quest. And because reality is highly fractal you can have great insights just by contemplating things like Birth and the whole process of creating a new human being. I won't tell you what insights to have to not influence you. I would most definitely like to hear yours and what arises in your mind spontaneously, by thinking of the birth from the masculine and feminine energies pov. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Barbara

[Preety_India]

@Barbara I'm not sure if this might seem awkward to people on the forum but I just have to be a bit frank that in my opinion someone like Hillary Clinton is more masculine woman in my eyes whereas someone like Nancy Pelosi is more feminine in my eyes

 

Just giving an example for reference for who looks more feminine to me. Since I mostly watch American politics, that's the only example I could come up with. 

 

[Preety_India]

Lmao I didn't realize it's International Women's Day 2022 today March 8. What a coincidence! 

Happy Women's day to all women. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I realized like 2 hours ago too lol. Rushed to buy my mum flowers.

Sweet. Every mom needs a son like you. 

 

[Preety_India]

33 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Parents deserve some sort of extra treatement in general - unless they're actually abusive in some ways. Regardless of how much I dissagree with them or hate them sometimes - there's just that baseline level of respect always present - just for the fact that they literaly kept me alive for the first 16-20 years of my life. Which cannot be said about people from outside of the family.

Love from good parents, is the closest to unconditional love you'll ever get from a human being. Most gfs/bfs, wifes/husbands or whatever, will 100% leave you after a few minor issues. This is a good thing to keep in mind, in my opinion.

That was wise. 

[somegirl]

On 3/7/2022 at 7:48 PM, Gesundheit2 said:

Exactly. Which is why women turn masculine when they don't see good leadership.

Leadership is every man's craft, but not everyone is skillful or invested enough to make the woman feel safe and surrender. But that's okay, we're here to learn after all.

On point ?