Leo, should I pursue enlightenment first or dating first?

[actualizing25]

So I want to improve my dating skills and want to pursue enlightenment at the same time. I dont want to do both at the same time. I want to pursue just one of them first and then the other. What order would be better ?I think that I would pursue enlightenment first and then after that dating. But maybe I might be too old by then to start improving my dating skills. Im currently 25 and I think the spiritual journey will take at leat 10 years.

 

Thanks for your reply, appreciate it

[Thought Art]

How can anyone decide that for you?

 

for most people, sex and relationships probably come first

[BipolarGrowth]

Good luck having the motivation for mastering dating after enlightenment.

[softlyblossoming]

7 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Good luck having the motivation for mastering dating after enlightenment.

Who knows, maybe he'll be one of God's favorites. A friend of mine claims he got infinite discipline after Enlightenment, but I'm not sure to what degree he was talking from the non-dual or even just trying to get me motivated for the path.

I agree with @BipolarGrowth.

[Prakhar]

My advice: Do both at the same time. Inner and outer mastery complement each other. Yes, it will be a mindfuck, but that will precisely accelerate your journey.

[Leo Gura]

Handle your basic human needs first. Unless you want to be a monk.

[Loba]

I would focus on dating skills as well as spirituality, as we are a communal species and need companionship, this is very important.  And because the path of enlightenment involves learning to Love; if you find a love, it is much easier to remember that feeling, when warm and close with someone, then trying to go it alone.

Some people are made for that, but most are not.  You can learn a lot about yourself by dating and being in relationships, and this can be applied to your spiritual practice.  You could even have a spiritual relationship if you want to.

The loving feeling that you get when being around a sweet girl that you like is the same Love that you need to practice on yourself - so when you fall in love, you can use that as a learning tool to extend that love to yourself, to family, friends, the whole world.  And that is what spirituality is about.

These things are never either or.  You can have both!  

[Ry4n]

8 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Good luck having the motivation for mastering dating after enlightenment.

I mean at the end of the day the game is bullshit but ya still gotta play it…

[charlie cho]

human connection will make you more spiritual. Don't think otherwise man

[Kksd74628]

@Prakhar

Exactly! Dating and socialization overall show you the things that you can work with spirituality. I wouldn't call spirituality as different thing from "normal" life and what spirituality just means is to do things that make you on average to have more happiness. At least starting meditating asap helps with everything regardless if it is "spiritual" or not. Most spiritual thing is to see divitiny in mundane.

[Carl-Richard]

Dating first, or else there is no one to date 

[Kksd74628]

@Carl-Richard

Yeah, but still who said that you need someone else to date. Actually I would say that when at least one in relationship is enlightened it works better. 

[Carl-Richard]

26 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Carl-Richard

Yeah, but still who said that you need someone else to date. Actually I would say that when at least one in relationship is enlightened it works better. 

There is no one to date because the you that dates is gone  

[Kksd74628]

@Carl-Richard

Agree even on this one, but still what's wrong about the movie about dating and how that is better or worse than movie about anything else. And as movie I mean the "experience" that is HERE and NOW. So the thing I try to point out is that spirituality doesn't destroy things you can do, but just enchanses them to something way better.

[Hello from Russia]

Find a cool hippie chick and do both

[Gabith]

@Loba How can I feel that love for myself ? 

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Kksd74628 said:

Agree even on this one, but still what's wrong about the movie about dating and how that is better or worse than movie about anything else. And as movie I mean the "experience" that is HERE and NOW. So the thing I try to point out is that spirituality doesn't destroy things you can do, but just enchanses them to something way better.

Nothing wrong about it. It's just that if you want to be sure that you're going to fulfill your dating desires, you should do that before permanently checking out of your mind. Enlightenment is to exit that game altogether (of fulfilling stuff). If you try to check out without fulfilling or dropping your desires, you will recoil in fear and cause needless trauma. When you're living in a persistent state of immense ego dissolution, "should I date" or "should I not" isn't even possible.

[Kksd74628]

@Carl-Richard

Remember that desires are only outcome of unacceptance of this moment and when you love present moment no matter what the desires cease to exist. My opinion is that you shouldn't even fulfill your dating desires when in relationship, because that way you become too needy and the whole relationship is unhealthy and most like it won't last for a long.

[Loba]

@Gabith Hi Gabith!  It can take some time, or happen right away!  

I am still working on this myself, if you can't feel it quite yet, you can take actions towards self love, such as doing things daily that reflect self love.
Sometimes when I don't love myself, I look at pictures of when I was a small child and offer love to that small child that I was; we are still the same person, just grown.

What are some specific issues you are facing with self love?  Maybe I can help.

[Zeroguy]

@Loba Are you re parenting yourself?

If so,well done .