Genisis From Non-duality To Duality

[Principium Nexus]

Hello forum members of Actualized.org,

I have always been fully fascinated with the actual phenomena of reality and time. Several years ago, I had a complete ego death and this experience is still deeply embedded in my being and everyday actions and perspective. First, I want to give you an abstract overview of what my psychedelic experience was like and what deeper direct insight the experience showed me.

Please note that this experience was life changing and completely forced me to reconstruct my believes and solid foundations of what I thought what reality seemed to be. During that time, it was hard to cope with all these ideas and "normal regular life". I'm still giving it a place and will keep doing this my entire life, but it was both the best as the worst experience i have ever encountered. Nothing can be unseen, but with mindful intention you can transform what you make of things.

For my trip report I mainly want to focus on the important things I experienced but I will give a general overview what the set and setting was.

Everything started on a regular vacation day. My friends and I had decided we wanted to try some magic truffles again since earlier experiences have always been really enjoyable and funny. On an empty stomach we all ate some truffles and slowly the effects became apparent. Some weightless feelings like being on a cloud while walking, increased colour vividness and perception in all senses. We all quite enjoyed the experience quite well, just the total ridicules of being alive and that this "substance" or tool is able to affect the experience of reality so dramatically that it almost feels like the matrix. Morphing solid shapes, everything breathing like it is totally alive like one large being.

These experience often go with pure awe for beginners and can be an eye opener or something that destroys your world, perspective is crucial in how you will experience life and thus having a broad knowledge is essential to be able to position yourself in life, even if you don't exactly know what real truth is. This is why I have great respect for all people that give their life to peruse understanding and knowledge, becoming a sage like @Leo Gura also states in one of his videos is my ultimate pursuit.

So, there was this moment in my psychedelic experience where I slowly began to drift away. I was standing somewhere against a statue next to some friend looking at this massive willow tree on a small island several meters away. The whole tree was illuminated by a light and I was slowly being hypnotised by its presence, the branches timelessly waving in the air. Before I entered this upcoming trance my emotion was pure indecisiveness due some situation where my friends split up and I was not able to choose whether I wanted to go with them or stay. Eventually I stayed to look after some friends but was thrown in this deeply hypnotised state.

My presence was slowly merging with the tree across the water and I began to feel its history and future. I felt the cold of the winter and all the seasons that cycled over a thousand times, maybe an infinite times. I really cannot tell since time slowly ceased to exist and I became it. Everything was fast-forwarded like a time-lapse, people walking by, the environment changing over hundreds of years, until time came to an absolute end.

Now reflecting on this experience the force that drove me to a complete ego death or dissolution was the pure indecisiveness I entered it early with. My reality window or perspective couldn't decide what to experience or focus on and eventually I became absolute nothingness. This timeless state of being that was undifferentiated and a complete void was still perceived as being nothing. Now this is very hard to grasp and only direct experience can show you what true infinity and nothingness is at the same time. A nice sentence I like to refer to is; Ultimate silence holds the greatest potential of invoking anything infinitely larger that itself.

One of the most beautiful moments was the witness of the absolute transformation of Non-duality to the Duality. After an infinite amount of time had past in the absolute non-dual state there was a moment where two orbs of light came into my vision. They shared this dance what felt to me like pure love and reminds me of ying and yang. From the non-dual unlimited potential arose the perspective or experience of two entities both identical and it was me who give their distinct identity. I felt that I was them but also reflected on this from a distant perspective, which in turn  created an experience of separation. Slowly my perspective began to zoom out or expand and I saw that my entire vision was filled with these dancing energy orbs until my complete view of normal reality emerged from this. As if reality was build from these pixels and that the human experience is somehow at this current level of awareness.

This experience was just pure awe, but coming back was the hardest part. Dealing with the feeling of being infinitely away from this reality and then coming back you get overwhelmed with what you experienced and at first I just freaked out. My friends told me I was away for a long time and this really scared me. I didn't feel safe because i still had to grasp what this reality was, how it functioned and who these people were. I wanted to go home because that was the only safe place I could remember but luckily my friends calmed me down. It was one intense ride for sure!

The important part I want to emphasize is this conversion of non-duality to duality since it is the absolute essence of creation. I know this can be labelled as "just a experience while being under influence" but the message is clear. You only begin to fully grasp what real masters of the mind are talking about when they speak of enlightenment. It is really you who creates your entire world, every "value" you apply to one of those orbs creates your complete experience of reality. Duality is the labelling system of the mind of how to identify anything and is build from relativity in perspective from all other values. Changing one value as to say directly changes the relation with all others and this simply is your perspective or vision what life looks like or gets experienced.

Mindset, vision, belief are really the key to enlightment and will only be reveal by true dedication, integration and pursuit of knowledge.

Tell me what you think about this! Has anybody else ever experienced such thing. I have the feeling that some people might have had the similar experience but were not able to completely verbalize it.

EDIT: One thing I want to add is that the creation fo the universe by the big bang is exactly the same process. We arose from a timeless state and the universe as we know it was born by the creation of relativity (duality) from this non-dual indifferentiated state. Relativity is the core requisite of experiencing reality by using the ego. As relativity was born so was time and the space continium. Interesting philosophical questions arise if you take this as how this mental universe is created, are there any real bounderies if there is no ultimate outside perspective? Who knows

Namaste, fellow adventurers.

 

Edited January 19, 2017 by Principium Nexus
Addition

[WaveInTheOcean]

Nice trip report mate. Sounds like an eye-opening experience. Great read.

Can you be more specific of how this trip has changed you today?

What was the dosage?

Do you have problems sleeping after the trip?

Have you tried LSD and if yes, can you give a overview of the difference between the LSD- and the Shroom-experience? ( I have never done shrooms, only LSD... But my next psychedelic trip I think I want to be shrooms, and not LSD, since I've heard by hear-say that shrooms can be more profound).

I have done LSD a few times, and experienced what I think is partial ego death where I sort of just became one with the music and the visuals and vanished from the world and all my anxious thoughts. I felt pure love and oneness. When "my mind" slowly came back I freaked out as well. I was almost disappointed, like "WHY CANT I JUST BE IN THIS STATE OF PURE LOVE/NOTHINGNESS FOREVER? CMON" ... I was terrified actually, lol. And I sort of had to remember how to function in a human body again. Scary stuff. But eye-opening stuff.

Edited January 19, 2017 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

"The important part i want to emphasize is this conversion of non-duality to duality since it is the absolute essence of creation."

". It is really you who creates your entire world, every "value" you apply to one of those orbs creates your complete experience of reality. Duality is the labelling system of the mind of how to identify anything and is build from relativity from all the other values. Changing one value as to say directly changes the relation with all others and this simply is your perspective or vision what life looks like or gets experienced."

This sounds about right, hehe. Great read. Very profound insight. You articulate the experience and insight very well. Thanks.

Well, you can say it was an experience under the influence of a drug (natural shrooms). You could also turn it around and say it was an experience WITHOUT the influence of the mind  Cos your mind was gone during the experience. There was only you and a gateway to raw consciousness/nothingness/infinity ...-- and this gave you profound insights about reality... Cos I fully agree... The world we find ourselves in is dualistic in every way. The mind operates through dualistic functioning, as you say. The so-called "physical world" thus also appears dualistic. Light, Dark, Good, Evil, Pain, Joy, Life, Death, Self, Other, Friend, Enemy and so on.  But even though the world appears dualistic in nature, it is possible to see that this dualistic nature naturally arises from the counter-point: a non-dual reality without seperation, without labeling, withouter any self, without any world...only Oneness..., Awareness is left. And it is from this non-dual infinite limitless oneness/awareness that the "normal" world is created through. So yes, as you say, creation goes from the non-dual state to the dualistic state  We all come from nothingness. And we will all vanish into nothingness. And out of nothingness will we come again. Existence will come again. 0, 1, 0, 1, 0,1. Death, Life, Death, Life.

"If you use your mind to study reality, you won't understand either your mind or reality. If you study reality without using your mind, you'll understand both." - This is a great quote by the Zen master, Bodhidharma.

To attain great wisdom, one surely has to lose the mind every now and then  

Edited January 19, 2017 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

Also the part where you felt like you became the tree was also interesting.

So did you really feel like you became the tree and experienced its whole life? 

Was this just a creation of your mind or did you actually become the tree momentarily? This is stupid question maybe, since in any case it's a creation out of consciousness/mind ... not nessecarily the mind you have now, though.

Psychedelics surely can throw a lot of subconsciousness stuff in one's mind into the conscious field of awareness. Yet, I also think that it can do more than that... It can throw stuff into your awareness that's not even part of your normal seperated mind. Like for example how you expericiened the Tree's mind... Does a tree have a mind? Does a tree experience seasons and such? Does a tree have feelings? (probably not, but can one be conscious without any feelings? Maybe).

After all we're -- according to science -- just a bunch of "death" neurons. Our brain and bodies are composed of "death matter". Just like the Earth as the ball it is (;D) is composed of death matter. Since this kind of arrangement of death matter that our brains are can create a mind, how about a tree? A planet? A sun? A universe? Perspective, perspective.

 

Edited January 19, 2017 by WaveInTheOcean

[Principium Nexus]

@WaveInTheOcean  Thank you for replying! I would prefer to call it an experience rather than a trip since I don't like the association with "drugs" that people directly force when they hear the word trip, but it sure was one big journey haha!

The trip has changed much about my perspective on life, mainly what it is all about, how it functions and that we are really limited to our own imagination. Before this experience I was really atheist, from early age I was really fascinated with science and couldn't really grasp what any religion was really about outside being some mythological stories that help people to live better with each other. After the experience I was obsessed with finding different views of what reality could be and also my interest of psychedelics peaked due to their enourmous strenght to transform ones experience temporary. A short period after the trip I had some trouble like you also say with placing stuff in everyday life, some things feel unnatural and you have to re-invent how to behave in certain ways, which was really hard from time to time.

But what it really showed me during that time of becoming so aware of previously natural behaviour is why we do it and how it arises. It was like I had been given a second chance of preceiving how it is to be a child but from a more understanding perspective. It offered me a chance to conciously redesign how I control my body with much more control than before. My empathy for everything in this reality has been growing ever since. I still have my moments of falling back to hating some situations but I can't really blame anyone for it anymore. All the misery people project is their own suffering and I feel deep empathy for that their situation is unfortunate. Everybody looks for one thing and that is love, when the world is out of balance we do the opposite which is fear. You cannot hate anyone for fearing his own existence.

All the terrorist attacks are a direct result because they fear and find anything except love or certainty for their existence. It is sad that people have to go so far to take their own lives to give their last hope that any act will religiously be fullfilled. They do it from pure existential crisis and probably want to invoke change, but fail to do it in a good manner. Those are some things I can clearly see now and reconfirms that we have to talk more with each other. Between any nation, religion or whatever.

+What was your dosage?

If i'm correct I took around 12g magic truffels, it's not a really heavy dose but what is really important is your intention. Being conciously aware of what you experience can get you to much deeper levels of the psychedelic state than doing big heroic doses. They can bring you deep, but I see that they can also be very confusing and are almost too hard to integrate. Meditation and Psychedelics go really well, if you master the psychedelic state you can do anything. There is no mountain larger than the mind you have to conquer and live with. I have also great respect for shamanism, they handle with so many emotions when for example guiding persons that are being healed, without meditation they would be nowhere.

+Problems with sleeping?

I cannot recall I had much issue with sleeping. I might have been disturbed for a while in general for what I found, but I think my vividness increased in general for lucid dreaming.

+Have you tried LSD and how does it compare to shrooms?

I did try several analogues of LSD; AL-LAD, 1P-LSD and probably LSD-25 but I didn't got it tested by an official lab. From my experience the Lysergic family (LSD) is more structured and the experience feels more "synthetic" than for example shrooms. Shrooms are harder to control people say in general but therefor also offer you to go to unseen places, which you may like or not. LSD feels geometrically straight like sharp edges and distinct objects whereas shrooms are really morphing and have more natural colours. They can also be sedative while LSD is quite energetic.

LSD feels like you get really awake to experience the physical world and shrooms to go more for introspection and a trance like experience. I could imagine that tripping on shrooms with a eye mask and some music can bring you an intense introspective trip. Therapeutically speaking this is much better to handle than for example the overwhelming outside impulses that can enter your LSD experience.

 

Life is just really fascinating and I'm really looking forward to just only grasp that tiny amount of understanding that we can gain during this life time. I want to integrate this all into my life in every aspect, helping and loving people in general is what I want and that also give me the feeling of purpose which I didn't acknowledge before.

I want to say that psychedelics are a tool and a master, you will find yourself in every aspect of the experience and learn from that. Important is that you don't over do it if you think you don't immediately find something useful. Give it time, they will call you back when you are ready again.

 

Edited January 19, 2017 by Principium Nexus

[Principium Nexus]

@WaveInTheOcean 

Quote

Also the part where you felt like you became the tree was also interesting. So did you really feel like you became the tree and experienced its whole life? Was this just a creation of your mind or did you actually become the tree momentarily? This is stupid question maybe, since in any case it's a creation out of consciousness/mind ... not nessecarily the mind you have now, though.

The real question might be, does the tree really have any locality? What is distance, time, separation? You could say that tree was there physically but actually there is no tree. The concept of something being is just your own reflection of self. Your identity defines how you look through the lens of the mind and project of how you preceive reality to be. You created a distinct concept of the tree, that has it's mental boundaries like the edges of the tree and maybe where it goes into the ground. But in reality concepts are only weak comprehensions of something that has no ending nor beginning. The tree is just made up, not to say it doesn't exist, but it's real truth is that it boundaries will never end. Where do you stop defining what the definition of a tree is? Are the leaves that fly away still part of the same tree? Is the water that went through it roots still part of it absolute presence?

The environment makes the tree and the tree in turn the environment. The tree is part of everything in the same regard as everything component of the tree. What i'm getting at is that in true reality without concepts that are comprehended by the mind there is no separation or locality. You are just looking at the same thing from a different angle. I know this goes quite deep (down the rabbit hole we go again) but I think you can see how I come to this conclusion.

Speaking in human terms, my imagination got so wild I didn't know wheter I was experiencing the projection of the tree or I was just experiencing what I think a tree is?

They say "god" created the world by speaking the first words (or concepts), you might see where this now comes from.

 

Quote

 

Psychedelics surely can throw a lot of subconsciousness stuff in one's mind into the conscious field of awareness. Yet, I also think that it can do more than that... It can throw stuff into your awareness that's not even part of your normal seperated mind. Like for example how you expericiened the Tree's mind... Does a tree have a mind? Does a tree experience seasons and such? Does a tree have feelings? (probably not, but can one be conscious without any feelings? Maybe).

After all we're -- according to science -- just a bunch of "death" neurons. Our brain and bodies are composed of "death matter". Just like the Earth as the ball it is (;D) is composed of death matter. Since this kind of arrangement of death matter that our brains are can create a mind, how about a tree? A planet? A sun? A universe? Perspective, perspective.

 

My craziest idea is that being is repeated at all scales in the universe. You could think of atoms like mini universa and you are the galactic total sum of all those realities. We all together again inhibiting this world "the body of god" you could say, which could be a being just like us. We interact with it's body and therefor he also influences our lives at cosmic scales. If he gets sick or the "galactic state" tends to go in unharmonious directions, we might as well suffer because we are its inside organs

Edited January 19, 2017 by Principium Nexus

[abrakamowse]

Quote

everything breathing like it is totally alive like one large being.

@Principium Nexus

I experienced this like three years ago.  It was part of an epiphany where I was surrounded by deep love, I also saw the energy around people, very beautiful.

Thanks for sharing your experience, very powerful!

Edited January 19, 2017 by abrakamowse
grammar error

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Principium Nexus said:

If i'm correct I took around 12g magic truffels

Were they dried 12g?

[Principium Nexus]

@Leo Gura  They sell them fresh in holland and they are not dried. On reddit they say the following about potency "3g of dried cubensis = 10g of fresh truffles." so you might get an indication of how strong it is.

Edited January 19, 2017 by Principium Nexus

[abrakamowse]

2 minutes ago, Principium Nexus said:

@Leo Gura  They sell them fresh in holland and they are not dried. On reddit they say the following about potency "3g of dried cubensis = 10g of fresh truffles." so you might get an indication of how strong it is.

Good to know...

:-)

[WaveInTheOcean]

57 minutes ago, Principium Nexus said:

@Leo Gura  They sell them fresh in holland and they are not dried. On reddit they say the following about potency "3g of dried cubensis = 10g of fresh truffles." so you might get an indication of how strong it is.

So 3,6 g of dried shrooms. Of course it varies a lot how strong shrooms is, but 3,6 g of dried shrooms is a pretty high dose based on what I've read

4g of dried shrooms seems equal to around 250-300 ug LSD

Edited January 19, 2017 by WaveInTheOcean

[Leo Gura]

4g dried is a pretty strong dose. Although it's possible to go much higher. 4g can easily kick your ass.

[RossE]

Yeah I've experienced similar, you're not alone. 

In the "journey" to come don't fixate on the experience you had though. It's just another arising. You've not gone anywhere or done anything special. That's an interpretation of the situation. If the reality you are experiencing right now is infinite and impersonal then you can't go anywhere can you! 

This is fucking it. Just start to realise that all the time throughout your day. 

Edited January 20, 2017 by RossE

[Principium Nexus]

@RossE I know this was nothing special or unique for me and I think everybody can get a similar experience. Understand that I don't think this is "the truth" or something that really happened (ofcourse I don't know for sure) but I value what insight it gave me about the connection between two different states of experience. It is not about the content, it's about how you perceive experience and what bridges those two phenomena (non-duality and duality).

Quote

In the "journey" to come don't fixate on the experience you had though. It's just another arising. You've not gone anywhere or done anything special. That's an interpretation of the situation. If the reality you are experiencing right now is infinite and impersonal then you can't go anywhere can you! 

You are right I cannot go anywhere, but I can change how I experience or view that exact same experience. From what I understand is that these experiences and not only mine, show you that your perception of how you perceive things to be is equally or maybe even more important than the content. 

[jse]

Beautiful description of a divine experience - thank you @Principium Nexus

[RossE]

@Principium Nexus Very true. Our whole ego structure takes events and adds so much meaning to them and it's crazy to see that. I wasn't attempting to patronise you or suchlike, I just feel it's easy to "come down" from these experiences and attach to them. It's a big reminder for me too!

 

[pluto]

Its amazing isn't it? Its like a quick glimpse of how it all began and what everything is then your back and you now have infinite creative potential in your hands and what you do from now is completely up-to you. If you don't apply what you learn it will only become abuse.

I once found myself through spirituality, meditation ect.. then i was torn down even further by toxic relationships and psychedelics helped me back back on track and re-connect to my infinite self. Now i keep a balance in everything, so i remain in flow.

Amazing share, touched me deeply

Edited February 2, 2017 by pluto

[Principium Nexus]

@pluto @RossE @jse @abrakamowse @WaveInTheOcean Thanks for reading and giving feedback. I really appreciate it a lot!

[Principium Nexus]

I think this thread does still somewhat apply to Leo's series on Infinity and his way he tries to explain relativity. Sorry for the bump

 

[Principium Nexus]

It's been a while since I've been active again on this forum. More time has passed and my reflection on these things has learned me a few new things.

First, have a clear mind at all times will greatly enhance how you are able to experience everything that is been given to you.

If your mind is tilted by any emotion and you feel this when you feel easily exhausted or angry, stop and calm down until you know you settled this unprocessed energy.

Meditation daily, even if it's only 10-20min, try to really ease the mind, relax your muscles, breath.

Get rid of caffeine, usually you drink it to feel productive/energetic, it's only short lasting and will make you unfocused/jittry during and/or afterwards.

Caffeine also releases adrenaline, Adrenaline is the "fight or flight" hormone.

Being in "fight or flight" mode is anything but relaxed, your brain is overly sensitive and it can even trigger anxious feelings, thus disturbing your emotional clarity and peace of mind.

Get rid of excessive drinking or stop completely. Same for smoking nicotine or anything that causes you to have withdrawls and feel unbalanced afterwards.

What do you really gain by using those short-termistic substances?

 

For concentration use binaural beats or music that helps you being productive and joyful.

Minimalism can feel great, just invest in the things that are important and give you satisfaction every day.

 

If you have any thing you would like to add please share your thoughts and leave a comment! I love to discuss how to achieve a serene but productive state of mind.