Technique / tip to be less anxious around people

[Gabith]

Hi, I do street interview alone since 4 years, I meet a lot of people, I had days where I was able to be myself without caring too much.

These days/hours were the best, I had great interactions, I felt positive and confident, I had girls who were attracted to me but unfortunately these moments are quite rare and I don't know how to stay in this state or to attain it again. When I was in this "state" it felt like a "social awakening"

Now as I become more conscious, I'm noticing that I feel an anxious background when I meet people, I feel less than them or odd/bizarre. 

It keeps me from talking to girls to get their numbers because when I interview girls that I'm attracted to, I feel as if I were bothering them and I rarely take the risk to speak with her about her life, hobbies because I don't want her to see that I'm needy or to be rejected... 
I'm fucking needy because I get too quickly attached to girls, I think everyday about having a girlfriend it robs my happiness. But I don't want to be like that, it keeps me from being confident & to get a girlfriend. I try to love myself everyday but there is always this big issue with girls, I want to get love from someone else and deep down I know it's a mistake. 

I also always think for others (I'm imagining that they're judging me negatively)

I'm looking for a tip or technique that I could use when I'm meeting/interviewing people a breathing technique, a pattern of thoughts, I don't know.
Something that would lower my anxiety or negative self-talk.

Please help me 

[Rishabh R]

I think that you need to embody the truth that you will get rejected a lot in life and continue on the path  just I myself need to embrace the fact that I need to be persistent in the game of dating and relationships. And also try to get out of your mind in the situation in which you are interacting.

Edited March 5, 2022 by Rishabh R
Missed

[flowboy]

Hey Gabith, sorry to hear you are going through this.

On 05/03/2022 at 2:03 PM, Gabith said:

I'm fucking needy because I get too quickly attached to girls, I think everyday about having a girlfriend it robs my happiness. But I don't want to be like that, it keeps me from being confident & to get a girlfriend. I try to love myself everyday but there is always this big issue with girls

Actually your anxiety makes sense to me.

Why do people get anxious on job interviews?

Because they really really really want it, it's all they want and this could be their only chance anytime soon.

This is the situation you've created for yourself by only working on your social life.

The real solution here is not a breathing technique, but to shift your focus to something else, something that feels purposeful and meaningful to you, that's what you're thinking about and working passionately towards every day, and you care way more about than getting the next girl.

This is what really lowers anxiety on approaches. Because now you still want the girl, but it's not the most important thing in your life, if that makes sense.

Do you have something like that currently?

[lisindel]

Deep breathing.