I'm Unsure Wether My Ego Is Taking Over Or Im Just Too Driven.

[Rocky]

Im an 18 year old mechatronics student from the UK studying in the Netherlands and basically i went from incredibly depressed and anxious in the last 2 years from being at college at 16 where I gave 0 fucks about my life and failed half my subjects and got 100% in the other half all of which were Sciences such as Biology, chemistry medicine and etc to a bit anxious and incredibly motivated and got 100% in my results in Mechanical engineering at a different college at 17, but I had to push the teachers because I felt I deserved of good marks (whereas before I didn't) and I would bitch moan, complain, even a teacher ended up getting fired and another got warnings, but I would spend quite literally (even though i know most of you reading this won't believe me) 10 to14 hours a day of non-stop working for 9 months which paid off and i got 2 scholarships and 100% in all of my subjects on that course.

Now im at university it feels like ive gone up another level, having to bitch and moan even more if i dont understand something i make sure the teacher tells me even if its in their own time, if i get a bad grade i challenge it and prove its not what they taught or that mine is correct,  writing complaint letters finding teachers and staff to question and submit complaints to is pretty much the norm now. 

And i can tell it's annoying people pissing them off and I think the teachers are scared too. It makes me feel shit too, but it feels necessary if i want to do well, it feels like they are constantly testing me and attacking me by giving me crap grades for the amount of work i do, so i have to attack them back with complaints and questioning their marking, so im not always on the defense.

Is this an ego thing? Because to me it always seemed like something that's necessary to get me where i want to be by being motivated and fighting back, but its getting pretty tiring i don't  know any other way.

 

[ajasatya]

@Rocky yes, that's an ego thing. if you truly want to succeed, you need to start working WITH them.

remember... it's not about you. i am a computer scientist and it's all about human knowledge evolving. it has nothing to do with your grades. scientists need to collaborate and you need to learn how to do teamwork.

if mathematics/physics/programming is your passion and you want to work with it in your future, be on the side of those who already work with it.

it takes a LOT of humility. if you actually face your arrogance, you will see how you're building your own isolation.

[5thPablo]

Too driven? Nah bro, you're just too arrogant.

[electroBeam]

18 hours ago, Rocky said:

Now im at university it feels like ive gone up another level, having to bitch and moan even more if i dont understand something i make sure the teacher tells me even if its in their own time, if i get a bad grade i challenge it and prove its not what they taught or that mine is correct,  writing complaint letters finding teachers and staff to question and submit complaints to is pretty much the norm now. 

And i can tell it's annoying people pissing them off and I think the teachers are scared too. It makes me feel shit too, but it feels necessary if i want to do well, it feels like they are constantly testing me and attacking me by giving me crap grades for the amount of work i do, so i have to attack them back with complaints and questioning their marking, so im not always on the defense.

Yes its an ego thing. Its the feelings generated by feeling insecure about not getting the grades you want. But yes its also the only way. You must not forget that your teachers are also egoic, and don't give a flying shit about you or your grades. If you don't fight for what is rightly yours (and the only way you will find out is if you do the actions you are doing now) you will never know. The teachers wont put the effort in to make sure that you get the correct grade. 

Of course though, what has been proven effective in the past is that surprisingly cooperation beats conflict. This means instead of sending complaints 24/7, go up to their offices and ask them nicely if you could review their grades, because making their egos feel threatened isn't always the best approach. Sometimes it is, regardless of what the nice spiritual people on this forum tell you, but 80% of the time its not. This approach will also make you feel better. But again if the teachers are lazy, sometimes they need a good kick up the ass! 

[electroBeam]

18 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@Rocky yes, that's an ego thing. if you truly want to succeed, you need to start working WITH them.

remember... it's not about you. i am a computer scientist and it's all about human knowledge evolving. it has nothing to do with your grades. scientists need to collaborate and you need to learn how to do teamwork.

if mathematics/physics/programming is your passion and you want to work with it in your future, be on the side of those who already work with it.

it takes a LOT of humility. if you actually face your arrogance, you will see how you're building your own isolation.

Really?? I think your looking at things too black and white, and simplistic. You need to be nice and mean if you want to be successful. People are egoistical, and if you be nice 24/7, you will get taken advantaged of, simple. That's exactly what happened to the founders of mcdonalds, they trusted, and were too nice to their marketing manager, and he took advantage of them and now owns the entire business. 

If this dude doesn't fight for his grades, he will potentially get lower grades, and miss out on good job opportunities. 

In order to be successful in life, you need ethos(a good reputation) and cooperation. ethos requires you to fight for your grades, and to make sure that people don't take credit for your works, and other things you need to fight for on an individual level, and cooperation is working with others. You can't be an extremist either way. 

[ajasatya]

it's possible to get excellent grades and be successful without a single fight. and i'm speaking from my own experience, not from a theoretical possibility.

all you need is wisdom not to become naive nor turn things into personal wars.

Edited January 20, 2017 by ajasatya

[MaxBlank]

What do you want? Do you to belittle and offend people while you are "too driven"?

I applaud your bravery in asking. How you are going to relate to this world is an important decision.

Good luck with your studies.

[Christian]

I too feel like I have to fight for my grades, which are all A's and B's pretty much. It is stressful at times, but that is acceptable in my opinion if there is strong purpose behind  fighting for top grades. With me, I really want a good education on a deep emotional level  and that requires high marks of course and sometimes, you do not get what you want as far as grades. And most of the time, it is because you are ignorant (lack knowledge about the subject), but in other cases, it can be the teachers fault. And if I have a valid argument for why my teacher misjudged my work, I will at talk to them about it and try to improve the situation. I would not really call this fighting with my teachers, but rather it is about serving my self agenda in a responsible manner. 

And that can be hard sometimes, but life is about doing the emotionally difficult thing. Just embrace the journey and stay consistent. That is my best advice. 

 

[alyra]

think of your allies as if they are an extension of your body. if you run by slamming your feet into the ground, you put out a lot of work and most of it doesn't accomplish the goal of propelling you forward. you build muscle - but muscle that's designed to push you up, not forward. 

 

with your allies - by fighting them and pushing them, you're creating extra energy that leads nowhere. you may be working 10 hours some days - but how much of that work actually accomplishes your goals?

 

your teachers are like your liver. when they give you a bad grade it is as if your liver is dying. it is not your liver being bad at its job - it is simply responding as it is designed to, to what you are feeding it. if your teachers give you bad grades - it is because your work deserves those grades - and you need to accept that. we may think that drinking a lot of alcohol was good for our stress - but the truth is it was destroying us. only when you look towards yourself - can you begin to notice how your work truly does need to improve - and with patience, you will find healthier ways to accomplish your goals. 

 

 

and one last thing - sometimes the environment is in fact toxic and unfruitful. in such an environment, we need to remove ourselves from it - and if we cannot because we are dependent on it, then we need to patiently search for alternative sources of what we need. if you can, change classes - maybe it is too late this semester, but keep that in mind next. or - change schools. if you can't and even changing classes leaves you in a toxic environment - and you are sure it is not you who is the toxic element - then learn how to play their game on their terms, patiently waiting for graduation when you can find a new environment.