tips for being less chaotic? less messy?

[PurpleTree]

(add)

Was always pretty chaotic. In elementary school my desk was always a mess, probably the messiest, couldn't even find stuff in there

Also in every exercise book, in every file on every piece of paper there were countless drawings and writings.

My first apartment was a huge mess. sometimes people visiting me started tiding up my apartment.

In some ways it's much better now like my sleeping room is always good but i'll make a huge mess in 1 minute.

For example i was cooking vegetable soup almost daily for the last three weeks, but the kitchen just becomes a huge mess.

Also with paper work, bills taxes etc. it gets hugely messy in a minute. And then sometimes i pay bills too late or don't find them or whatever.

I kind of like tiding stuff up "sometimes" or even cleaning but it just gets messy again in a minute.

Also i feel like i have too much stuff, i'm annoyed by all this stuff, especially paper stuff but feel i need it or might need it laters for me it probably would be better to live with less stuff like some of the pictures from japanese places i've seen a kind of minimalist lifestyle.

[Loba]

@PurpleTree Don't worry about getting it all done at once, start a daily routine and set aside a half an hour to start with, or even fifteen minutes, then an hour after a week to tidy up.  I have attention problems, too, and found keeping a journal on my progress to be very helpful.

https://youtu.be/FSZyzhi8C9o <-- how to program a new habit, you have to hack your dopamine.  Get a treat or something fun for right after to give your brain the reward for doing it.  I found that crossing off or highlighting my progress throughout the day gives me that reward, find what works for you, be it a snack, time online, ect.

Start off small and work your way up.

Don't forget to add meditation.  I suck at it, but still do it, 15 mins each day.

[PurpleTree]

5 minutes ago, Loba said:

@PurpleTree Don't worry about getting it all done at once, start a daily routine and set aside a half an hour to start with, or even fifteen minutes, then an hour after a week to tidy up.  I have attention problems, too, and found keeping a journal on my progress to be very helpful.

https://youtu.be/FSZyzhi8C9o <-- how to program a new habit, you have to hack your dopamine.  Get a treat or something fun for right after to give your brain the reward for doing it.  I found that crossing off or highlighting my progress throughout the day gives me that reward, find what works for you, be it a snack, time online, ect.

Start off small and work your way up.

Don't forget to add meditation.  I suck at it, but still do it, 15 mins each day.

often do have "good resolutions" and changes 

but easily get bored with them after a while and they fizzle out

although i try to keep a meditative lifestyle often-ish

[PurpleTree]

[Loba]

@PurpleTree That's the time to keep up with them, that's the time the brain is going to make changes.  Check out the video, he talks about it.  This resistance, if you can get through it little by little, it changes the pathways in the brain and increases myelin in certain key areas - which creates a stronger neuropathway to the habit, thus allowing more dopamine to enter the brain and the task becomes enjoyable.  When you feel resistance or boredom, this is when the brain needs you to do the task the most.  But you don't have to make it miserable, you can just go 'just' as far as you can until it hurts and then stop right before - then allow yourself, your brain, some sort of "treat" to train those dopamine pathways.  Basically, treat learning to organize yourself like Pavlov would his dogs.  Give your brain something good to expect from it.

I know it sounds hard, but this advice is coming from someone with attention difficulties all her life, who failed in school and college because of it, who is coming out of it with a decent routine and I am a week away from doing it pretty consistently for a whole month.  If I took a day off, which I do on the weekends, just to have a break - but yeah, if I took a day off I would just get right back on the horse the next day and would not feel bad about it.  I took away the shame and inaction and now take about 50 percent more action than I was and this is increasing.

I know how hard it is to get things together, it feels like, painful, the boredom or the task - but with small steps it is totally do-able.  I am days away from being 34 and am just starting to get a routine together, so if I can, literally anybody can.  I am someone who was completely hopeless when it came to maintaining a routine.

INFP here - we generally start working on te (extroverted thinking aka executive functioning) in our 30's, and spend our 20's dreaming and procrastinating.  

You can do this.  Start with things that change the brain drastically, like working out, this actually creates even more new pathways, and can heal a lot of these problems.  Start small, then work your way up to an hour a day, that's all anyone really needs unless you are looking to bulk up or something, but just to be healthy, do cardio one day, then weights the next day and back again.  Or better yet, if you live near an area you can hike, do that daily.

You just have to eventually say enough is enough, I am going to change this, no excuses.  My life is on the line.  You think someone isn't holding a gun to your head because they're both invisible, but procrastination is as serious and life ruining.  It can create mental illness, it can ruin your entire future.  So you'll have to find the proverbial gun to the head metaphor somewhere to light a fire under you to keep going.  Sometimes that takes hitting rock bottom and seeing the effects.

When you make a routine for yourself, make one that is self Loving - that respects who you are and feels right.  Something that moves you to enjoy a hobby - or gets you out more often, little steps mean the whole world and it doesn't have to be difficult forever, it does get easier.

 

[Michael569]

Productivity Ninja by Graham Alcott

Can't praise this book enough. As a chaotic qnd messy person myself this has been a tremendous help in starting to get organised. It will require some commitment to make the method work but it definitely works very well once it is in place. 

Books also talks about stress management, calendars, journals etc. Pretty much everything you need to create a single funnel system through which you will be able to organise tasks, meetings, projects and anything that life throws at you that neds to be categorised/postponed/attended/stored/filed etc. 

However I only see this book available on UK Amazon which may be a bummer depending on where you're based so perhaps there is another, equally awesome resource from a local author that would suit better 

[rounder]

@Michael569 sweet!! I just started reading this because of you. Thanks!

@Loba such good info. I pm’d you but It’s not in my box. Idk if you got it disabled my phones weird 

[Spence94]

I've just started a daily 5 minute minimum clean up and organising habit commitment. Just 5 minutes, that's it. No excuses. 5 minutes every day cleaning and organising.

Sometimes I do a lot more than 5 minutes but it's just bonus, when I'm done i'm done.

Today I literally just swept up for 5 minutes then I stopped cleaning.

There is something very powerful about being clean and orderly and making a simple daily commitment to keep the place clean and organized. 

Edited March 7, 2022 by Spence94

[Aquarius]

Try cleaning up your place twice a day. That could be a good start. Not set to a particular hour or time of the day, but maybe daytime and evening, when you're free.

For me self-help apps helped a lot. It doesn't really matter which one you use, I'm just saying that apps that gamify tasks can be very useful, but only if they are minimalistic enough for you to easily use them. I use Finch to manage most of my self-care habits.

Try to associate the activity with something pleasant, like putting on meditation music or lighting a scented candle or incense stick. 

You could put the paperwork in a drawer or buy a folder for them that you keep in a safe place.

Maybe make a habit that you only rest or work when the room is tidy. But you need motivation for this. You can make it work though.

Make the activity fun, maybe buy a cloth/fabric freshener, so then you look forward to getting your stuff nice and organized and fresh.