How do you accept the unfairness of life?

[Yali]

Some people are smart, beautiful, rich, talented. Others aren't. I'm part of the people who aren't.

It's that simple.

But it seems too simple to be true, doesn't it? You want to believe that there's more to it. You want to believe that "everything happens for a reason". But it doesn't.

It's so simple and absurd, it's funny almost.

I don't have the motivation to work. I think part of it is because I can't get over the fact that I have to put so much effort into working just to hope to have food on table, just to hope to make friends, while so many rich, beautiful, smart people are breezing through life without ever having a remote understanding of how much of a struggle it can be to be forced to do things you hate just to survive physically, mentally.

I have to and they don't just because luck.

That's all there is to it. It shouldn't be all, but it is.

How do you deal with this?

I feel trapped in this harsh reality. I didn't choose to be born in it and yet I'm forced to work hard to fend for myself, dreaming of things that I will probably never achieve. My jealousy is out of control and it's making me question what's the point of even going on.

[Hello from Russia]

Dude, this way life is much more interesting too and much more enjoyable to play

Imagine you chose this difficulty before you were born just like you do it in video games

Playing games always on easy ain't no fun

[Dryas]

I try to apply this philosophy: 

https://dailystoic.com/control-and-choice/

All of the things you mentioned aren’t completely out of ones control, but they are to some extent. 
 

Still, it’s easier said than done. 

[RickyFitts]

1 hour ago, Yali said:

How do you accept the unfairness of life?

By recognising that my non-acceptance only makes me suffer. That doesn't mean to say that acceptance comes easily, but it's helpful to understand the futility of non-acceptance, at least.

Become intimate with the moment-to-moment experience of non-acceptance - notice what it feels like in the body, how contracted and tight it makes you feel. Let that tightness relax, and notice what sorts of feelings arise when you do that.

[vizual]

By accepting that you suck and to see life as a learning experience. Make use of every opportunity to learn so you can be as effective as possible. And let’s be real; the internet has given us all the opportunity to do this. There are no excuses to not be learning and improving everyday.

And this is also a very important philosophy in the East; in stead of hanging your self worth on the fruits of your labor, you bring your own fruit to your labor. We focus on being present with our work, we love the process. The goal is mastery, not exploitation.

[gettoefl]

people and people's lives are not comparable, we can all be victims and spin sob stories if we choose to

every person is an magnificent conglomeration of universal treasure

if you could get a glimpse of your own gloriousness

the kingdom of god is inside

take a look and become acquainted

[Terell Kirby]

Re-contextualize your notion of what's unfair.

Jealousy and envy comes from wanting something that someone else has, but deeply question why you should want it. Would it be at worth it, if deep down inside, you continued to feel unworthy?

You have to be willing to love yourself, and life just as it is .. by finding the beauty in whatever is happening at this moment. Your ego will not want to do this, but it is your ego that keeps you in a constant state of suffering.

God loves you as you are.

Edited March 4, 2022 by Terell Kirby

[Loba]

My life is fair to me, but it came at a cost and took some work.  It is an easy life, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, there is a lot of karma that needs to be worked through, and so I don't waste my luck.

I wasn't lucky in a lot of ways, other than with free time which is probably the greatest luck of them all.  I don't care about just looking like a normal woman, or other people's riches or whatever, I have enough.... Uhm....

Look for areas where you are lucky, where other people are not and see that this is a spectrum.  You're very smart.

The not wanting to do work think sounds like it could be depression, in which case I suggest what I always do, which is to work out every day and build up those feel good chemicals naturally.

Also, you don't look like an unattractive young man, I'm not so sure of what you're worried about looks wise.  You aren't ugly.  Most of us are normal, it's no big deal.  Beautiful people and rich people may have easier lives, but a lot of them have very fake lives, where appearance is all that matters, and they don't have to dig deep to find truth...

An easy life right off the bat is a handicap, not an advantage.

I would try a gratitude journal, and look for things in your life and immediate environment that can show you how you are blessed.

If you don't feel gratitude, try looking at something beautiful, and know that it is for you - that God made this... for you.
Try looking into the path of bhakti yoga, to open your heart and to help feel the reverence for life.

This song reminds me of God trying to bring back someone who is lost, who doesn't have faith and to let them know that God is still here.  It reminds me of the path of devotion, which yields strong results.

Edited March 4, 2022 by Loba

[Ulax]

Pffff, not sure

[DecemberFlower]

By realizing that all what is valuable in life doesnt come easy. And even though it seems that life for beautiful rich smart people is easier and thats supposedly unfair what can be assumed is that these people often dont appreciate their gifts and happiness can only come through appreciation

[Forza21]

You dont know other people struggles. How come rich and famous commit suicides ? Outside world doesnt bring you happiness, understanding your true nature does.

 

Edited March 4, 2022 by Forza21

[puporing]

Well it 'sucks' while you're going through the process, but you kind of just have to accept it and move on and make the most of what you do have. Accept that somehow you ended up on a hard mode. You could think of it as extra fire for the purification process so to speak. 

"If you have suffered, your life has been forged in fire. If you are still suffering, it is because you do not fully see what the fire has forged, only what it has taken from you." - Teal Swan

[kamwalker]

There will always be someone who has it "better" or "worse" than you. There are people out there who got dealt a much worse hand than you who are extremely happy and those who were born rich and good looking who hate life on a level you couldn't understand. That's because none of that shit matters. It ultimately comes down to acceptance and then consciously living your life. Do you need food, water, shelter and a few other essentials to keep your physical body alive? Of course. But beyond that there's nothing preventing you from living in pure ecstasy other than your own mind telling you that you can't. 

[itachi uchiha]

@Yali do u have any strength that others dont have.i mean u should have some unique strength that no one have.

 

 

[Brittany]

On 3/4/2022 at 1:17 AM, Yali said:

Some people are smart, beautiful, rich, talented. Others aren't. I'm part of the people who aren't.

The problem is that you think these statements above are true.

And then you are projecting these statements unto life as ultimate truth.

[Mu_]

On 3/4/2022 at 1:17 AM, Yali said:

Some people are smart, beautiful, rich, talented. Others aren't. I'm part of the people who aren't.

It's that simple.

But it seems too simple to be true, doesn't it? You want to believe that there's more to it. You want to believe that "everything happens for a reason". But it doesn't.

It's so simple and absurd, it's funny almost.

I don't have the motivation to work. I think part of it is because I can't get over the fact that I have to put so much effort into working just to hope to have food on table, just to hope to make friends, while so many rich, beautiful, smart people are breezing through life without ever having a remote understanding of how much of a struggle it can be to be forced to do things you hate just to survive physically, mentally.

I have to and they don't just because luck.

That's all there is to it. It shouldn't be all, but it is.

How do you deal with this?

I feel trapped in this harsh reality. I didn't choose to be born in it and yet I'm forced to work hard to fend for myself, dreaming of things that I will probably never achieve. My jealousy is out of control and it's making me question what's the point of even going on.

Thats a profound question and one I can relate to in some respects.  While I think some of your fundamental conclusions may not be in line with truth, I understand it for surely feels that way.  

For starters you have no idea what other struggles these people you call rich, beautiful, smart are going through.  I had what many considered a hot girlfriend who was a Med student at Harvard who was embarrassed to tell others she went to that school or was a doctor to be.  She didn't like the judgements and assumptions she got from telling others this.  Other people jealousy and judgment was to much for her.

You see, no matter what side of the street your on, theres gonna be challenge, struggle perhaps and things to deal with.  It's an illusion that someone has a free ride because they are rich, beautiful, or smart.  But then of course your mind will go, well, they have it easier still since at least they have those qualities, and maybe theres some half truths in there, maybe not.

All that said, your jealousy isn't going to help you and I think you know this.  I'd appreciate how nice the grass is on your side of the street, rather than how nice you think it is over on the otherside or in someone elses shoes.

Also forget those "other" people, again you have no idea whats going on inside them, just deal with whats in front of you, it doesn't matter if they have it better or worse.

[mandyjw]

Look at your hand. Your fingers on your hand aren't even. If your fingers were even, there wouldn't be a middle, center one. Life isn't fair or even because it's way better than that, you ARE the middle. You are always the middle, dead center, like the pupil of your eye, observing things around you. When we feel jealousy we know what we want. It is very good to know what we want in life. But when we focus on others having it, and us NOT having it, it feels bad because you are the middle.

I want to go to Hawaii. I've lived my entire life where there are long hard winters. 

I can A. feel like shit that I can't buy a plane ticket. 

OR B, I can sit down and envision a beach and feel amazing. This feels so good, I get up with this vision, and I paint it on canvas.

Maybe I start selling my paintings. Maybe it pays for a trip to Hawaii. You are creative energy. When you feel good, you are creating, when you feel bad you are working against what you want, and therefore, what you want to create. 

Align with your desires. Give all other thoughts of "I can't have _______" the middle finger. 

[StarStruck]

If you are going through life as a victim of life, life will fuck you in the ass. It will be a self-fulling prophecy. A non-victim wouldn't ask things like "is this fair?". He would say "what can I do to make the most of it?". Get above LOC 200.

[Einsteinonacid]

"Life's a game but it's not fair. I break the rules so I don't care." -Run This Town by Jay-Z