How come I'm bad at everything I do?

[sleep]

It's not inaccurate to say I'm a failure as a person. Any area in life I participate in I'm bad at, even if I've had plenty of time to practice it, I'll be worse than most people with little to no practice. Socializing, dating, understanding people, work, videogames, physical prowess and dexterity, whatever you can think of. I understand that no one can be good at everything, but is it really normal to be bad at everything? Is there something wrong with me? I feel stupid. 

[puporing]

Honestly you should really only compare with yourself/your own progress, otherwise it can be overwhelming and you become discouraged to stay on the path. There's often a 'dip' when working at something and it can be easy to give up during this phase even though you're still actually progressing, just not as obvious. Once you come out of the 'dip' you will see progress. The key is to motivate yourself not to give up on something you cared about. Maybe find more people who can encourage you, sometimes it can be hard to do it all by yourself.

Edited March 2, 2022 by puporing

[Preety_India]

You can improve your core intelligence and cultivate other skills. 

We all have moments where we feel dumb 

They key is to not ruminate on it, but to get back up and fix it. Don't let such thoughts discourage you. 

 

 

[Spence94]

@sleep You are worthy. You are worthy of health, wealth, love, and happiness. 

Realise, you are worthy friend. It may take time, but you are worthy of everything you seek. 

[Cathal]

@sleep Hi there. Let me ask you one thing, do you do any of things consistently a lot of the time? 

99% of things you will suck at in life, but if you are afraid of failing you will miss out on 99% of stuff to do! 

fuck it and enjoy the process, learn to detach yourself from trying to go somewhere and enjoy what is in front of you, if you just try your best to find what works, the word failure doesn't even make sense. in your childhood you kept digging a hole and ran into so many obstacles, roots, rocks, insects, you never failed - you just kept doing something until it worked. that's how everything is, there is no failure, failure is in your bad, being bad at stuff is in your mind.

---there is only a measure of competence, sure you are incompetent in a few things! so what? you don't say 'i am' and leave it no, you put the effort into being more competent if it's something you truly want and leave what you don't want behind .

there is only figuring out what works and what doesnt work - but when you introduce right and wrong, good and bad, you create the duality and resistance and suffering in yourself

[John Paul]

@sleep  take space from any information source or person who tells you negative things about you or puts pressure on you to be different than you are. being good at stuff doesn't matter as much as you being happy. you should do things you like to do..and i don't believe it that if you practice you can't get good...dont give up, you can do it.

[Yarco]

Some people roll bad stats and start off with a bad-looking character sheet, at least in conventional terms.

If you're only looking at the top 10 most valued stats in society like strength, dexterity, socialization, etc then yeah you can look pretty bad in comparison. You have to take a wider view and look at the top 100 or top 500 stats though.

Look at Stephen Hawking. He stopped walking at 20 and doctors gave him 2 years to live. If you wanna talk about "bad at everything", the dude couldn't walk, talk the conventional way, or probably even go to the bathroom by himself. But he lived 79 years and found that one thing he WAS good at (physics) and became world class at it. Also did you know he managed to have two... TWO wives! Incels take note

If you want to be good at conventional stuff, you just have to accept you're below-average and work harder than other people.

Or you can search for a bit and find what you are good at. It might be something really obscure you've never even tried before, like sewing or basket weaving. You probably just haven't found your thing yet, keep looking!

Edited March 2, 2022 by Yarco

[Breakingthewall]

the important thing is that you are 100% true, the rest is secondary

[PepperBlossoms]

On 3/1/2022 at 11:20 PM, sleep said:

It's not inaccurate to say I'm a failure as a person. Any area in life I participate in I'm bad at, even if I've had plenty of time to practice it, I'll be worse than most people with little to no practice. Socializing, dating, understanding people, work, videogames, physical prowess and dexterity, whatever you can think of. I understand that no one can be good at everything, but is it really normal to be bad at everything? Is there something wrong with me? I feel stupid. 

me too.  twins.

[BlueOak]

Fail a lot. Many better known or valued people in life have.
Did you ever go out and try and fail at something, see what didn't work, just have a fun time with it?

If you've failed you've gained an understanding or distinction, the best way to learn anything. Here perhaps you've narrowed down to specialize for example, you know what you don't want to do or what you are not good at, or just how to be better at a specific task.

I struggle with it because previously in my life as a kid it meant a shouting match or beating. So I took failure seriously, but its too easy to make too much of a big deal of it and paralyze yourself or develop an identity that keeps berating, fearing or hating on yourself.

video games, physical prowess and dexterity - These Sound motor related, spatial relations etc.
Socializing, dating, understanding people - These sound psychological, empathetic etc.

Try something unrelated to those topics to specialize in.

If you've developed an identity as a failure you can either embrace and say to hell with it, not advised, I do this and it's a sucky approach.

Or realise that failure isn't so bad, you are learning, and maybe you are just narrowing down in life what to specialize in. Could you for example advise kids on failure, how to cope and go through it? See everything has the potential to be useful once you go through it yourself, you are paid forward for learning something to then offer it to someone else.

Edited March 5, 2022 by BlueOak

[PepperBlossoms]

It feels like sucking at stuff and then you feel like, why bother trying when people are just going to tell me how bad I am at it.

Or I am just going to fail so why bother.

 

[Loba]

It's not that people suck at everything, it's just that life doesn't allow people to explore more things to see what they are good at.  Not everyone automatically knows what they are good at they have to look around for a while.

I doubt you suck, you probably just have not found your thing yet.

Also, don't feel bad.  I'm not the smartest most successful person either, but I am happy.   
Try to find ways to be happy and at peace with yourself, just the way you are but keep an open mind to trying new things and perhaps you will find your thing one day.